Something to Believe In

by Kimberly Van Meter

  Why did the hard decisions always fall in her lap?

  * * *

  JUSTIN WOKE IN A FOUL MOOD, still unsettled by the way things had ended between him and Lilah yesterday, but he was determined to get her out of his mind. If she didn’t want to hang with him, fine. There were plenty of beautiful women just waiting to spend a little quality time at his side.

  Well, at least there were in New York.

  Here on an island paradise he shouldn’t have a problem finding someone to waste a few hours with.

  He spent a long time under the cool spray of the outdoor shower and then dressed quickly.

  Whistling to himself, he passed by the open dining room and saw Lilah fixing breakfast. He should’ve kept walking, barely taking notice of the petite, lithe woman, but just the sight of her tugged at him and made him feel as if the humidity in the air had suddenly worsened. He sucked air through his lungs but his heart was kicking up a rapid staccato.

  Her hair was tucked into a messy bun on top of her head and plenty of tendrils were drifting along her cheekbones, gently swaying on the subtle breeze coming through the wide-open portal. She wore a light gauzy skirt that dusted her ankles and a tank top that wrapped tightly around her middle, baring a tiny expanse of golden skin that he distinctly remembered tasting just yesterday.

  Damn it. He shook off the desire to join her for breakfast as if all was forgotten and forgiven and instead purposefully strode away. Justin Cales did not moon over any chick. No matter how adorable she looked in her hippie-chic outfits or how his breathing still hadn’t returned to normal.

  And definitely no matter how miserable he felt at the prospect of simply roaming around St. John without her gorgeous behind right beside him.

  He muttered an expletive and climbed into the rental Suzuki Tracker that looked as if a donkey had used it for target practice, determined to have a good time without her.

  * * *

  LILAH SAW JUSTIN IN her peripheral vision but pretended otherwise. She held her breath, wondering if he was going to casually stroll in and grab a banana as if things hadn’t ended so awkwardly between them or if he was going to ignore her.

  A part of her hoped he kept walking. An angry Justin would likely move on more quickly, but she actually hated the idea of Justin being angry with her even more than she disliked the fact that he’d walked right past her as if she hadn’t existed.

  Oh, geesh. Pick a side, she told herself crossly. You can’t be so wishy-washy. She wanted to discourage any attachments and so, her method had worked. If only she didn’t feel unsettled inside, almost carsick at the thought of what he must be thinking about her at this very moment.

  She took a bite of banana and slowly chewed, frowning as she processed the mess in her head. Pops interrupted her mental turmoil by adding his own. He’d been having some bad days, which had only worsened when Celly left.

  “Morning, Pops,” Lilah said, forcing a smile as if it were the most natural thing in the world to see her Pops looking as lost as a baby sea turtle far from the shore. “Are you hungry?” Pops turned hazy eyes toward her, his mouth working subtly, as a confused frown marred his beloved face. Lilah swallowed and the butterflies in her stomach worsened. “Pops? What’s wrong?”

  “Well, it’s just sad news. Just sad, sad news.”

  “What sad news?”

  “She’s gone. Our Lisa...she’s gone. Lana...she’s holding it together but... Well, her heart is broken.”

  Lilah sucked in a tight breath at the mention of her mother and realized Pops was talking about when her mother died. She exhaled softly and nodded, not sure what to say. “It’s very sad, Pops,” she agreed. “But she’s in a better place now.”

  God, how she hated that saying but she didn’t know what else to offer.

  “We always wanted more babies,” he admitted, wiping at his eyes. “But all we had was Lisa. She was our island treasure. Ahhh, Lisa...and she’s left behind three babies. It’s hard to know what to tell them, they’re so young. Especially the twins.”

  Tears sprang to Lilah’s eyes and she choked back a well of grief that bubbled from a hidden spot of pain buried deep inside her. “It’s okay, Pops,” she managed, grinding the tears from her eyes. “It’s okay. They have you and Grams. They’re so lucky.”

  He seemed lost in a memory, shaking his head with raw sorrow that was tinged with confusion, and Lilah wanted to run away from the evidence that Pops was rapidly deteriorating. She dropped her banana to the counter and wrapped herself tightly around her grandfather. “I love you, Pops,” she whispered. “You and Grams were always there for us. Don’t be sad. Please don’t be sad.”

  Pops patted her back and she inhaled the soft scent of coconut that lingered on his skin from the sunscreen he wore and she wished she could go back in time to when life was simple and straightforward.

  “What are we going to do without her?” he murmured in a cracked voice that splintered her heart. She wasn’t sure if he was talking about Lana or her mother. Perhaps he didn’t know, either.

  “I’m here for you, Pops. We’re all here. Your sugar birds,” she said.

  “Sugar birds...sweet, sugar birds,” he repeated as if saying the words gave him strength. “Yes...we always have our sugar birds.”

  “Always, Pops,” she said. “Always.”

  Standing in the dining room, hugging her beloved grandfather, Lilah wondered how they’d manage to get through everything they were facing without losing their sanity. Was it any wonder she’d walked into the ocean? The threat of losing everything they’d ever cared about was almost too much to bear. But she’d never take such a cowardly step again. Her Pops needed her.

  Her family needed her. Even though she was scared to death of failing, she’d give everything she had to Larimar.

  She owed it to Pops and Grams.

  Which left little room for pining over men who had no permanent place in her life.

  She drew a shaky breath and pulled away from Pops. “Want to share some papaya on the patio with me? You can tell me stories of how you wooed Grams with your irrepressible charm,” she teased through a sheen of silent tears.

  At the mention of his past with his soul mate, he brightened. “Papaya is my favorite, you know.”

  “Of course I know that,” she said, smiling as she grabbed a papaya and the necessary tools to cut and serve. “And I also know that you love to tell stories. So let’s go. I can’t wait to hear a few.”

  And it struck her as they walked to the patio that there would come a day when Pops wouldn’t be around to share his stories—whether they were made up or true, the girls were never quite sure—so she was going to savor every moment she had left with him.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  THE NEXT FEW DAYS PASSED by in a blur as everyone pulled double shifts to keep Larimar flowing on an even keel, which was no small feat given how many bad days Pops had been having. Lilah knew it was because Celly’s disappearance had thrown off his routine but Lora stubbornly refused to simply set things right with a much needed sit-down with the older woman. Lilah checked on Celly each day to make sure she was doing okay, but also to try and persuade her to return, but Celly was as stubborn as Lora and both refused to budge.

  The only upside to an otherwise irritatingly frustrating few days was that Lindy was flying in that afternoon.

  In fact, Lindy and her newly adopted gang were all coming. It would be good to see Carys, Lindy’s eleven-year-old soon-to-
be stepdaughter who was a Bell in sheep’s clothing. Lilah had never met a child so similar to Lindy in spirit and attitude than that towheaded precocious girl and Lilah loved every sassy bit of her.

  As excited as she was to have her twin home for a few weeks, Lilah was not looking forward to the family meeting on the schedule.

  They’d been putting their collective heads together to think of a way to make Larimar more profitable in a short time frame and they’d been hitting brick walls.

  Sure, they’d made the IRS payments—by the skin of their teeth—but that wasn’t a way to sustain the resort in the long-term.

  Which was exactly why Lora always had dark circles under her eyes; she worried enough for them all.

  Yet, they still didn’t know how to save Larimar.

  And that scared them spitless.

  The very idea of losing their foundation was enough to make them all lose their marbles.

  “What time is Lindy’s flight?” Lora asked, checking her phone for the daily schedule.

  “Noon,” Lilah answered. “I’m picking her up at the ferry at one-thirty.”

  “Good. Hopefully she won’t be too jet-lagged to have the meeting tonight.”

  “I’m sure she’ll soldier through,” Lilah said wryly. If Lora had changed since falling in love, Lindy had, as well. In fact, before Lindy had met and fallen in love with Gabe, Lindy had been a bit of a... Well, flirt is a mild term. Lilah loved her twin to death but Lindy had always been a wild child. Now she was settled and more mature with a kid no less and she was loving her new role as if she’d been born to it. Which was downright Twilight Zone-ish.

  But if changes were to be made, Lilah supposed these were the good kind to make.

  She wondered wistfully what kind of changes love would make to her. Immediately—and unwelcome—Justin’s adorable mug jumped to mind and she frowned. Fall in love with Justin Cales? An admitted playboy who was here today and gone tomorrow? Not bloody likely. Her gaze drifted to the pile of paperwork that needed filing from the previous day’s checkouts and she sighed. Who had time to fall in love? Not this chick, that was for sure.

  So why did her gaze inadvertently search out glimpses of Justin around the resort? Admittedly, her heart did a little happy dance when she saw him now and then as he went about his business. She tried not to notice that he didn’t smile or wave when he went by. She tried not to take offense when he plainly seemed amenable to her suggestion that they remain casual.

  But she’d be a liar if she didn’t admit that she wished he’d ignored her refusal and simply pursued her anyway.

  Well, it was a woman’s prerogative to be fickle, right?

  Another deep sigh escaped and she fought to shake off the melancholy she felt creeping toward her like an unwelcome shadow. A yawn surprised her and she rubbed at her eyes. She hadn’t slept well last night. Too many worries, too many thoughts crowding her brain. At first she feared the insomnia was returning but after yoga on the beach, she felt far more centered and balanced and the worry dissipated.

  But the yearning for someone she couldn’t have simply wouldn’t abate no matter how many times she drew deep calming breaths and stretched her muscles until she was as loose as a fatigued rubber band.

  So when Justin happened to pass by, wearing board shorts that accentuated his lean, narrow waist and showed off way too much golden skin, she couldn’t help the hello that popped from her mouth.

  Which was mistake number one.

  * * *

  JUSTIN WAS DOING A BANG-UP job ignoring Lilah’s presence every day, purposefully striding past her without so much as glancing her way as he went about his day exploring the island and enjoying his forced vacation, but the minute he heard his name on her lips, his feet took over and he spun around with a silly jump in his heart.

  “Yeah?” he queried, knowing he should’ve pretended not to hear her and kept walking. Damn, did she always have to look so beautiful? It was like staring at an angel who had fallen to earth or something. He didn’t even have the right words to describe how she took his breath away, only that he went to sleep thinking of her, spent the evenings dreaming about her, and spent way too much time trying to find new and inventive ways to avoid being around her. And yet, when he had the opportunity to move to the Worchester, he’d canceled his reservation.

  Smooth move.

  But there was something about Larimar that spoke to him, and it didn’t have everything to do with Lilah. There was an energy in the resort that resonated within him, made him feel right at home in spite of having never been there before.

  He wasn’t normally a woo-woo type of guy but there was a real sense of family at Larimar that he knew he wouldn’t find at the Worchester.

  Maybe it was because his dad was being such a royal prick that he found comfort in someone else’s family, if even peripherally, but he liked the vibe at Larimar and he wasn’t leaving until his vacation was over.

  All he had to do was, somehow, stop hoping for a little attention from the cute blonde who was tipping his world upside down.

  “So what’s on your agenda today?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “Beach, water, rum. In no particular order, of course.”

  “Of course,” she said, smiling. “Did you have a chance to check out The Wild Donkey?”

  “To eat boiled bananas? I confess, not really high on my desirable list, but I did get a fresh fruit smoothie from that guy in the plaza. You’re right, it’s pretty damn divine. Who knew fruit could be so good, right?” He should’ve grinned and waved goodbye, keeping it as casual as she said she wanted it, but now that he was talking to her again, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away. The natural light in the foyer picked up the sun-kissed highlights in her blond hair, giving a halo effect that only made her look more ethereal than she already did in his mind. “Got a lot on your plate today?” he asked.

  She nodded, excited. “My twin sister and her family are flying in today. I’m picking them up at the ferry.”

  “You’re a twin,” he said, surprised and a little intrigued. “Identical?”

  “No, fraternal. And we couldn’t be more different.”

  He wasn’t sure the world could handle more than one Lilah running around anyway. How pathetic was it that he wanted to fish for an invitation to go with her to pick up her sister? Very. And because of that, he kept his mouth tightly sealed. A guy had his dignity.

  “I noticed you’re still with us,” she said brightly, switching directions. “I would’ve thought you might’ve moved to the Worchester by now.”

  “I like it here,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, I think I’m in love with the outdoor shower. If I didn’t run the risk of freezing my balls off, I’d have one installed at my place in upstate New York.”

  “You have a place in upstate New York?” she murmured, then remembered, “Ah, that’s right. Private school kid.”

  “Says the girl living on a tropical island at a five-star resort,” he teased.

  Her cheeks colored a bit as she laughed ruefully. “It’s not quite the same but I get your point. However, looks can be deceiving. We’re not rich by any means.”

  Justin cast a speculative look around the surroundings, then said, “Well, it looks like you’re doing all right just the same.”

  “We are,” she agreed. “So...have fun at the beach. Lift a glass for me while you’re out and about.”

  He took that as a sign it was time to make his exit gracefully but he was
enjoying himself too much to listen to the voice in his head. Besides, it’d been days—almost a damn week, actually—since he’d been with Lilah and he was jonesing for a fix from his island girl. The question was, how to convince her she needed the same...

  But logic told him that with her twin sister flying in, Lilah’s attentions would swing toward her family. He was an only child so he didn’t have those kinds of attachments. Sometimes he wished he’d had a brother so his father would’ve split his single-minded focus between two targets. Alas, Justin was the bearer of all those good intentions as his mother would say.

  Good intentions, my ass. More like fulfilling an ego stroke.

  He dodged the direction of his suddenly dark thoughts and moved away from the counter. “Have fun with your sister,” he said, smiling.

  She returned the smile and nodded. Justin turned and walked away, his step decidedly lighter as he realized with a triumphant grin that he’d seen disappointment lurking in his beautiful islander’s eyes. His grin deepened as he formulated a plan to destroy her resistance. By this Friday, he’d have her in his arms again.

  Now that was a goal worth shooting for.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  LINDY BELL, SOON-TO-BE Lindy Weston, had butterflies in her stomach, which had begun fluttering around her midsection somewhere over Florida. By the time their plane had landed in St. Thomas, Lindy was fairly certain she might need to throw up.

  She missed her sisters and the island so much that it was always like this when she came to visit but this time felt worse than usual.

  “You okay?” Gabe asked, reaching over to gently rub her hand. “Do you need some ginger ale or seltzer water?”

  “I’m fine. I’m just excited to see my family and eat Celly’s cooking.”