Something to Believe In

by Kimberly Van Meter

  In fact, if she’d known...she might’ve stayed in bed with the covers pulled tightly over her head, because the one person she desperately missed yet hoped would never return to Larimar had just gasped her name in shock, and she, like a ninny from an outdated movie, simply slid to the floor in an ungainly heap.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  NO SOONER HAD HER NAME slipped from his lips in a shocked exclamation, than Lilah’s face had blanched and she’d crumpled to the floor, igniting a firestorm around them.

  Justin ran to her side, but he was pushed rudely aside by Heath as he maneuvered Lilah’s body into his arms and lifted her from the lobby.

  “You stay here,” Heath bit out to Justin.

  “Like hell I will,” Justin shot back, following Heath as closely as a shadow. “What’s going on? Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. Probably just shocked to see you,” Lora answered.

  Heath placed Lilah gently on the sofa in the private section of the resort and everyone, including Justin, awaited the flutter of her lashes. When she awoke a few seconds later, she groaned when she saw Justin.

  “Why are you here?”

  “Why are you pregnant?” he countered, unable to stop staring at her rounded stomach. He was no expert but her belly seemed a bit big. Had she been pregnant when they’d first started seeing each other? Perhaps that’d been the complication she’d been referencing...

  Lilah’s hand covered her eyes and she looked green around the gills. “Can you guys give us a minute?” she asked her hovering family.

  “Are you sure?” Heath asked, looking distrustfully at Justin. “What if you pass out again?”

  “Then I will be here for her,” Justin said sharply, hating that everyone was looking at him as if he were the enemy when clearly some key information had been withheld from him. As far as he was concerned they were all accessories to the crime.

  “I’ll be fine,” Lilah promised, and struggled to sit up. Justin tried to help but she pulled away from him. He sat back on his haunches beside her, angry and perplexed at what was happening. Lilah waited for everyone to clear from the room and then took a moment to compose herself. “Just so you know, I’ve never actually fainted before. I just... Well, the shock of seeing you...”

  “I can imagine,” he said darkly. “What’s going on?” His attention focused squarely on her stomach as she defensively rubbed her belly with both hands as if reassuring the baby and herself. “Please explain.”

  Lilah glared. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m pregnant.”

  “You know I’m asking for more than the obvious. Is it...mine?”

  Lilah’s expression paled and her hands fluttered over her belly again, as if struggling with how she wanted to answer. He held his breath, not quite sure how he hoped she would answer. Here was the woman he’d fallen in love with all those months ago, and yet, she seemed different from the girl he’d left behind and he wasn’t just talking about the basketball she was cradling. “Does it matter?” she asked.

  “Of course it matters,” he exploded, unable to take the tension. He rose and started to pace. “This is...bad timing for me. I’m actively campaigning and this could be very damaging to my career. Everything was going really well. I have a good chance of winning. I could be the next New York senator. And I never really thought that I’d want that, but since starting my campaign, I’ve come to realize that I could make a real difference out there. It’s ignited a passion I never knew I had...” He glanced helplessly at her stomach. “And that...I mean, a baby...it’s just not...”

  “It’s not your baby,” Lilah cut in, stopping him cold.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure,” she said. “Don’t you think I might’ve told you if I were carrying your baby?”

  Her cheeks crawled with color as she made her casual announcement and his gut questioned her honesty. But why would she lie about something like that? Wouldn’t it benefit her to ring him as the father? He regarded her with open speculation and she lifted her chin, daring him to call her out. “I want a paternity test,” he said, folding his arms across his chest.

  She startled at his statement. “But why?” she protested. “You’re off the hook. I’m not trying to get anything from you. I just want to raise my babies—”

  “Babies?” he gasped, his eyes widening. “What do you mean ‘babies’? There’s more than one?”

  “Damn it,” she muttered, angry with herself for the slip. “Yes, babies. Plural,” she answered with a dark scowl. “I’m a twin, remember? The chances that I would produce twins are pretty high and I got lucky.”

  That explained the bigger belly. He couldn’t stop staring. He wanted to touch it and feel his babies beneath her bronzed, sun-kissed skin. Tears pricked his eyes but he held them back. Now was not the time. First, they had to iron out some details. “Let’s try this again... When were you going to tell me that I was going to be a father?”

  “I told you they aren’t yours,” she maintained stubbornly, but her gaze slid away.

  “I know you’re lying. When were you going to tell me?”

  “Never, okay?” she blurted out, wiping away angry tears. “I wasn’t ever going to tell you. You just said yourself, this is bad timing and I wasn’t going to be the one who derailed your career because I trapped you into something you weren’t ready for. I don’t need you or your money. I will raise my babies on my own.”

  “Like hell,” he said simply. “Those are my babies, too. I have a say in how and where they will be raised.”

  She paled. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, my home is in New York. So it will be theirs.”

  “Well, my home is here and they’re presently in my belly.”

  “I will fly you to New York to give birth of course. I want my babies to have the best medical care available and I don’t think a little island hospital is going to fit the bill.”

  “Women give birth every day. It’s nothing that can’t be accomplished right here in this living room, if need be,” Lilah countered with a glare. “And I’m not going to New York.”

  “We’ll talk about this later. Right now, I want to know everything about your pregnancy. You’ve cheated me out of the first few months of their existence and you’re not going to take another moment from me.”

  He was being harsh. He could hear it in his tone but he was angry. White-hot angry, but also hurt. Why wouldn’t she have called him the minute she found out? He would’ve been here in a heartbeat. To think she was going to let him go on without ever knowing... Well, it pierced him to his core. Perhaps he didn’t know her as well as he’d thought. To keep something as big as his babies from him? It seemed downright cold and he’d never imagined Lilah was capable of being so cruel.

  “Twins... Do you know what they are? Girls? Boys? One of each?” he asked.

  “No, I don’t know yet,” she snapped. “I wasn’t going to find out.”

  “Oh. Don’t you think it’d be nice to know? For planning purposes?”

  Her gaze cut away. “No, I wanted to be surprised.”

  “Well, I’ve had a big enough surprise already. I want to know.”

  Tears sparkled in her eyes and for a second he felt an apology trying to push past the angry wall he was surrounded by, but in the end, he just couldn’t let it go and he hated himself for it, but this was damn near unforgivable.

  * * *

  LILAH WANTED TO SOB but she held back h
er tears through sheer force of will. It helped that she was percolating with indignant anger. How dare he start making demands? She ignored the voice of reason providing irritating counterpoints to her justifications. Of all the scenarios she pictured in her head of telling Justin about the pregnancy, she never imagined it going so wrong.

  He wanted to take her babies away from her. He was acting as if she didn’t have a say. Panic made her heart flutter like a caged bird. “Why are you doing this?” she managed to ask. “I gave you an out. You don’t want to be a father. You said so yourself. You’re not ready and it’s bad timing. I won’t come after you for money. I won’t pester you, I promise. I just want to raise my babies in peace.”

  Justin turned and regarded her with a chilly expression. “You didn’t have the right to make that choice for me. Forgive me if I was a little shocked and didn’t act as you rehearsed my reaction. Let me make myself clear...I will be a part of my children’s lives. End of story. Get used to it.”

  “Get out.” When he refused to budge, she screamed, “Get out!” and everyone came running.

  Heath stood with clenched fists, looking more than ready to plow Justin’s face into a squishy mess if he so much as dared to breathe an errant word and Lora stood not far off with the same expression. Celly watched everything unfold with a speculative stare, as if seeing something no one else did.

  “You’ve been asked to leave,” Heath said curtly. “I suggest you do so.”

  Justin hesitated for a moment, as if debating the merits of picking a fight. Then he turned to leave. “I’ll be back. Be ready to discuss this.”

  Lilah waited until she heard the door slam and then she broke down and sobbed. “He hates me,” she cried into her hands, shaking with each breath. “His eyes were so cold and mean. I’ve never seen him so cruel. I don’t even know that man.” She looked up to regard her family wildly. “And he wants to take my babies away. Oh, God...I’d die if he tried!”

  “No one is taking de babies,” Celly said calmly, surprising them all with her ability to remain cool and collected. In fact, she seemed vaguely amused by the whole situation, which baffled Lilah. “Time will work tings out. Yah gave him a start and he reacted badly. Give him time to adjust. He will come around. I have a feeling, it’ll be fine.”

  “No disrespect, Celly, but I disagree,” Lora broke in, concerned. “He has access to a litany of attorneys that we don’t. With his connections, he could hire the best money could buy. We need to get an attorney right away.”

  “Give him time to do de right ting,” Celly advised, looking past Lora and speaking directly to Lilah. “Yah know dat boy’s heart. Trust dat. And stop worrying. Bad for de babies.”

  “It’s not that simple,” Lora disagreed, but Celly shrugged and started walking away.

  “I have to go check on Jack. It’s his snack time and he gets right ornery when he doesn’t get his grilled pineapple.”

  Lilah watched Celly leave, confused by Celly’s comments. How could she say that everything would work out? Hadn’t she heard what Justin said? There was nothing soft or giving about the man who’d just stared her down as if she were beneath him, tossing out demands as if it were his right to do so.

  Lora rushed to her side and clasped her hand. “It’s going to be all right. I promise. If we all have to pool our resources to hire the best attorney out there, we’ll do it. Justin Cales is going to have one helluva fight on his hands when he takes on a Bell.”

  Lilah nodded, grateful for her family’s unflagging support but her heart was weeping in misery. She kept seeing the anger and hatred in Justin’s eyes and it was as if he was stabbing her in the heart.

  Why’d you have to return, Justin? Why?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  JUSTIN STRODE INTO THE room he’d booked at the Worchester and tossed his keys onto the bureau with agitation. His world had just tipped upside down and he was still struggling to discern which way was right side up.

  A baby? Two babies?

  He sat heavily on the edge of the bed and cradled his head in his hands. Lilah was going to have his babies.

  He was going to be a father.

  The words seemed nonsensical in his head. The entire plane ride all he could think of was how he was going to convince Lilah to return to New York with him, screw his original idea of closure.

  Now there was no closure in sight.

  Was he crazy that a part of him was relieved? Lilah would always be a part of his life now. But he hadn’t wanted it like this—tense and angry on both sides.

  Didn’t he have a right to be pissed? She was going to deny him the right to know his children. That wasn’t something that could be easily forgiven. But he supposed he’d have to find a way. For better or worse, Lilah Bell was going to be the mother of his children.

  Would the babies have her fair hair? Her beautiful blue eyes?

  Or would they favor him? He tried picturing himself cradling two babies in his arms, and it was fortunate he was already sitting because his knees would’ve given out and landed him on the floor.

  It was all happening so fast. This changed everything.

  What was he going to do about his political career? He’d have to do some quick maneuvering to make this a positive instead of a negative. He fished his cell from his pocket with the intention of calling Rudy, but he hesitated, staring at the phone. If he told Rudy, his campaign manager would kick into damage-control gear and possibly ruin any chance he and Lilah had to get through this. He’d already bungled things. He didn’t need anyone’s assistance in that regard. He pocketed his cell phone and fell back on the bed to close his eyes and regroup.

  He was going to be a father.

  How was he even remotely qualified for such a responsibility?

  Six months ago he’d been a total idiot with little more on his mind than the next party and the next conquest. He hardly recognized the image of himself from then. That person embarrassed him. He certainly didn’t want to be that kind of person as a role model for his kids.

  A small flutter of nerves jumped in his gut when he let the knowledge truly sink in how his life was about to change.

  Babies.

  He didn’t even know where to start.

  * * *

  “HE WANTS TO TAKE THE BABIES,” Lilah sobbed into the phone to Lindy, nearly hysterical. “As soon as he found out, he was so mad, and he looked at me like I was the worst person on the planet! He hates me now and he’s going to punish me for ruining his career by taking my babies!”

  “Okay, calm down, Li,” Lindy said, trying to calm Lilah down, but Lilah was beside herself with fear and regret. “It’s going to be okay. Justin isn’t that bad of a guy, right? I mean, you wouldn’t have fallen for him if he was bad.”

  “I never fell for him,” Lilah protested. Was she truly that transparent? If so, the knowledge only compounded her misery. “But he’s different now. He’s not the man I knew when he was here before.”

  “Of course he’s different. Cut the guy some slack, sweetie. You just told him that he was going to be the father of twins—twins that he didn’t even know existed until today. Imagine how that must’ve thrown him for a loop. And the fact that he wants to be a part of the babies’ lives... Well, I gotta say, that’s pretty honorable.”

  “Fine time to be honorable,” Lilah groused. “Why couldn’t he have stayed a happy memory?”

  “You know that’s kinda selfish, right? I mean, you know I’m
on your side but I can’t believe that you would purposefully keep a man from his children just because it’s more convenient for you,” Lindy chided gently. When Lilah didn’t respond, she added with a pinch of logic, “Besides, it’s truly better this way. He should take responsibility for his children. The fact that he’s adamant about being a true father...that’s a good thing. Once you get past the hurt from the initial shock, I think you guys can work this out.”

  “Work it out how?”

  “I don’t know. How do you want it to work out?”

  Lilah hesitated, the words trapped in her throat. Before he’d shown up unannounced she’d dreamed of him every night, wished he was here with her, and fantasized of their life together, but now that she was faced with the reality, she was too scared to hope for anything that resembled the landscape of her dreams. “I just want what’s best for the babies,” she whispered.

  “Then, stop fighting him and find out how you can do this together,” came Lindy’s reasonable advice. “Try to be friends.”

  Friends? She suddenly hated the word. She didn’t want to be Justin’s friend. She wanted to be his...? Well, she didn’t know exactly but it definitely wasn’t in the friend zone.

  “I don’t know how to be friends with Justin,” she admitted. “What if I’m terrible at it?”

  “You’ll make it work because two perfect little halves of you and Justin will require it. I know you can do this, Li. Have faith in yourself. You’re going to make an amazing mother, just be yourself.”

  That started the waterworks anew and it took several moments before Lilah could speak again. How did Lindy know she’d make a good mother? She’d messed up every major project she’d ever undertaken. How could she possibly handle raising two human beings? She longed to rest her head on Justin’s shoulder with the privilege of sharing her fears with the father of her children. But that wasn’t an option. She’d been terribly selfish and kept a secret that wasn’t entirely hers to keep. It was little wonder he thought she was the devil.