“How you doin there, Fleece Boy? Have you prepared yourself to meet your Maker?” Nail heard a familiar voice he hadn’t had to listen to for quite some time.
“Yassuh, Reberen McPhee, I sho has. De Lawd say He gwine take me in His ahms and He aint gwine let dat ole sizzle chair hut me one bit.”
“Well, that’s good, Fleece, I’m real proud to hear that. How ’bout I read you some scripture this mornin?”
“I sholy ’preciate iffin you did, Reberen.”
Nail listened to Jimmie Mac visit with Fleas for most of an hour, thinking that his turn would have to come next and he would have to give up the last of the morning sunlight to McPhee, when he’d rather use it to read to himself a couple of those nice love songs that Solomon wrote, especially that one about how beautiful the lady’s feet were with shoes on them.
“Good to see you back again, Brother Chism. I mean, now, I don’t mean it’s good that you’re back in the death hole, I just mean it’s almost like a kind of homecoming. Right? In my experience I’ve known a number of men to actually prefer being down here to being up there. Up there they’ve got problems you don’t have down here. Down here too it’s kind of quiet and peaceful, don’t you think? Up there it can get anything but. Now, I don’t suppose you’ve had any revelations or second thoughts that might make it easier for me to get you ready to meet the Lord?”
It took Nail a little while to determine that this was a question, not a simple observation of reality, and at length he said, “Well, Preacher, I’ll tell ye. I’ve done some thinkin, and I believe I can see God. Yessir, I can see the face of God as plain as I can see you a-standin there, and the wonderful thing is, Reverend, that God is a her, I mean She’s a Woman. Did you know that?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Yessir, you are, because what I’m tellin you is, and you’d better believe it, is that here all along folks have been under the mistook impression that God is a man, and a father. But She’s not. No, I’m tellin you, She’s a female, and a mother. She’s the best mother ever there was.”
Jimmie Mac did not say anything. He seemed to be searching his memory to see if he had ever encountered anybody who had ever said anything like this and, if so, what he had said in reply. But after searching corners of his memory he had forgotten he had, he couldn’t find anything. Finally he said, “Well, Brother Chism, that’s very interesting. But you’re wrong. The Good Book tells us through and through that He’s a him, and a man, and He took the form of a man when He became the Son of Man and died on the cross for our sins. They never hung no female up on a cross.”
“Yeah, poor Jesus was a man all right, just like me, but God was his mother, not his father.”
“That’s blasphemy, Brother Chism. It hurts me to hear a man talk sacrilegious.”
“You don’t have to listen,” Nail pointed out to him.
“Are you saying I’m not welcome here in your time of torment and travail?”
“You’re welcome to hear me help you get straight about the sex of God.”
Jimmie Mac did not come again, or, rather, he did not stop by Nail’s cell when he came to visit Fleas, and that didn’t last much longer, because Fleas was taken up to see Old Sparky on April 14th. It seemed as if all they were waiting for was somebody strong enough to take him up there. Sure enough, as Short Leg had feared, Fat Gabe’s replacement wasn’t a bit of improvement on him. For one thing, he was just as fat. His name was Gillespie Gorham, and from the beginning Nail thought of him as Fat Gill, but the first time he called him that, Fat Gill smashed him in the face and broke one of his teeth. Fat Gill did not slap, forehanded or backhanded, the way that Fat Gabe had done. He simply made a fist right alongside his cheek, then rammed it straight into the victim’s face. “Call me fat once more,” he invited. Nail did not.
Apart from his own execution, Nail had two things to expect: one, he would probably be required to witness Fleas’ electrocution, and two, Viridis might be there too and he could sit next to her. And sure enough, when Fat Gill and Short Leg came to get Fleas before sundown on April 14th, the guards first handcuffed Nail and took him upstairs, then came back for Fleas, who had to be practically carried, he was fighting and screaming so much. Nail took his usual seat in the witness area and waited for Viridis as the other witnesses came. The guards managed to strap Fleas into the chair, but they wouldn’t gag him, which was what he needed most; he was drowning out both Jimmie Mac’s attempt to say “Our Father Who art in Heaven” and Nail’s attempt to correct him: “Our Mother Who art in Heaven…” Viridis never came. Was Fleas’ picture not worth putting in the paper? But then Nail remembered that Viridis had resigned from the paper. Maybe she’d tried to come and they wouldn’t let her in.
Right before the end, Fleas, who was a very dark colored man of about thirty, seemed to recognize Nail. He stopped begging for life and looked Nail right in the eye and said, “Aint you Nails? I never seed you befo. You Nails, aint you?” Nail nodded. “Nails, could you play on yo mouf foggan fo me? Could you play ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’?”
“Shut up, nigger,” Warden Burdell said. “You got any last words?”
“I’se sayin ’em,” Fleas said. “I’se askin Nails to play on his mouf foggan fo me.”
“He aint got his mouth organ, nigger. Sorry.” Warden Burdell raised his hand and dropped it, and Bobo shoved down the switch, and the light dimmed and the dynamo hummed and Nail watched very carefully every twitch and jerk of Fleas’ body so he would know exactly what to expect of his own body in six more days. When Bobo brought the switch back up a while later, Warden Burdell motioned Doc Gode to see if the victim was still alive. Doc Gode took a stethoscope and put it up against the black man’s hot chest, but before he could listen, all of them heard these words crooning from the black man’s mouth: “…Comin fo to cah me home! Swe hing low, swe heet chah ott!” Warden Burdell shot his finger at Bobo, and Bobo turned the juice on again and left it on.
As the witnesses were leaving, the warden said matter-of-factly to Nail, “You’re next.”
“Yeah,” Nail said. He raised his voice so Bobo could hear. “And when you turn that thing on, don’t turn it off until I’m black as Fleas.”
“Still think you can take a few of us with you?” the warden asked.
Nail knew he could not, and back in the death hole he thought about that. They never brought him any knife, fork, or spoon to eat with. All he got was cornbread, and the fat meat he had to eat with his fingers, and if there were any cowpeas, they came in a cup he had to hand back. It was doubly unfortunate that Timbo Red’s impulsive gesture had not only doomed the boy but also deprived Nail of the weapon he had intended to take to the chair with him. All the thought that Nail had put into preparing for his last minutes would have to be revised. At least, if it was any consolation, he knew now that Viridis would not be there, not because he’d asked her to stay home but because they wouldn’t let her in. So it would just be him and his eight or nine male witnesses, Fat Gill and Short Leg, the warden, and Bobo. And Jimmie Mac. Nail realized that in order to have any hope at all, he had better try to get on the good side of Jimmie Mac and change God’s sex back to male.
But Jimmie Mac never came again until his presence was required for the execution. And God remained a woman, an unseen one but a kind one, Who sent to Nail a small blessing in the form of the companionship of Timbo Red for Nail’s last days. Sure, it was a mixed blessing: it meant that Timbo Red had been convicted of the first-degree murder of Fat Gabe and was going to be executed for it (in those days the killing of a police officer or “correctional” officer was considered the worst of all crimes). Almost as soon as Fleas was moved out of his death cell, Timbo Red was moved into it. But the man and the boy were neighbors for two nights before either discovered the other’s presence. One morning Nail listened to the familiar sound for a long time before he finally recognized it for what it was: the skritch-skritch of a charcoal pencil on a piece of paper. Nail’s voice was first: “So
they let you keep your pitcher pad?”
“Nails? That you in thar, Nails?”
“Yep.”
“Nails, I shore am sorry I tuck yore knife lak that. Reckon now ye caint use it fer what ye aimed to, kin ye?”
“Reckon not, Tim. But that’s okay. I’m jist sorry I had the damn thing in the first place. If I hadn’t of had it, you wouldn’t be in the death hole.”
“Shit. That thar Fat Gabe would of kilt ye.”
“Noo, son, he weren’t quite ready to do that, jist yet. You shouldn’t of done what ye done, Tim. I shore ’preciate it, but they weren’t no call fer ye to butt in lak thet.”
Timbo Red was silent, thinking about that, and then he said, “Do ye know what? Tim aint my name. But it aint Timbo Red neither. That’s jist what they call me.”
“Shore,” Nail said. “My name aint Nails neither. It’s jist plain ole Nail. No Nails. It’s a ole fambly name.”
“What I figgered. They was some folks name of Nail up whar I come from.”
“What is yore name, son? I don’t recollect.”
“Hit’s Ernest. Ernest Bodenhammer. But with a name lak thet, you mize well jist call me Tim.”
“Naw, I’ll call ye Ernest, if ye want.”
“And I’ll call ye Nail.”
In the death hole Nail Chism and Ernest Bodenhammer became more closely acquainted than they had during the months together upstairs in the barracks. Down here they had privacy. There was no one to hear them. A trusty came three times a day to bring the cornbread and cowpeas, and about once a day Short Leg or Fat Gill would come down and look in to see if they were both still alive and hadn’t chewed through their bars.
They talked all the time except during the morning sunlight, which Ernest took advantage of to draw, and Nail to read; during all of the darker hours they talked, and before the 20th rolled around they knew almost everything about each other that was worth knowing. It wasn’t until late the first night of their discovery of each other that their stream of conversation temporarily ran dry, and Nail volunteered to play a few tunes on his harmonica. He asked if Ernest had any favorites, and at Ernest’s request he played “Fire on the Mountain,” “Hell Tore Loose in Georgia,” and “Big-Eared Mule.”
It was while he was playing the last tune that Ernest interrupted him: “Hey, Nail! What’s that there mouth organ made out of?”
Nail stopped playing. “Made out of?”
“Yeah. Aint it got some metal in her?”
Nail studied the Hohner. “Why, yes, matter of fact, she’s nearly all metal, except for the board.”
“Any plates of metal in her?”
“Yeah, she’s got a couple plates.”
“I got a idee,” Ernest said. “Couldn’t ye tear her apart and make ye a knife out of one of them plates?”
Nail reflected. “Hell, I could make two knifes with her, but I aint about to. Wouldn’t be no use as a mouth organ anymore.”
“Which’d ye ruther, yore life or yore music?”
“Ernest, you’ve mistook the idee. If I had me a knife, I couldn’t save myself, I’d jist kill a good few of the others before they threw the switch on me.”
“That’s better’n nothin, aint it?”
“I used to think so. I aint so sure anymore.”
But before he could fall asleep that night, Nail spent a good bit of time holding the Hohner in one hand, fingering it and thinking. He’d sure hate to tear it up, but it wasn’t going to be any use to him anyway in three more days. Was that enough time to take one of the metal plates and sharpen it along the cement floor? Even if it was, the resulting weapon wouldn’t be as firm or as dangerous as the knife he’d had before.
The next morning after breakfast, while Ernest was doing his drawing, Nail asked, “What are ye makin a pitcher of this mornin?”
“Ole Sparky,” Ernest said.
“I didn’t know you’d ever seen it,” Nail said.
“I aint. I’m jist imaginin what it looks lak. But I may need yore help. Remember how you told me afore, when I tried to draw it with chalk on the floor? What are ye readin this mornin?”
“I aint readin,” Nail declared. “I’m a-takin my harmonica apart.”
All day and all night while they talked, Nail sharpened one of the metal plates against the cement floor. He was impatient and did not do it quietly, but their voices covered the sound of the scraping. “Tell me what’s it lak raisin sheep,” Ernest requested, and Nail instructed the boy on the art and science of sheep-raising. He began with the land itself: it was necessary to have well-drained pastures, because sheep cannot bear damp. Old, permanent meadows were better than artificial meadows because if Nature is left alone, She’ll give you a greater variety of grasses. The best pastures face south but have a border of trees to shade the sheep during the hottest part of the day. The shade should be green, or purple-green, dark and dry and cool.
The next day, which by his reckoning was April 18th (he didn’t have a calendar now, just a good sense of time), he had the dagger-like shape pretty well defined, and began honing the edge of it on the sole of his shoe as he told the boy about breeding sheep: the proper selection of the ram, picking him out not because he’s biggest or heaviest but because he has good fleece and a good shape; the bringing together of the ram and the ewe; the proper time and place for the mating.
Ernest asked questions. “How big a peter does a ram have on him?”
Nail laughed. “Didn’t you never see any sheep up around Timbo?”
“They don’t raise ’em up thataway, that I ever heared tell. Is a ram’s peter much bigger than a man’s?”
“Not bigger’n yours,” Nail assured him.
“Do tell?” Ernest became thoughtful and silent, but at length he lowered his voice and asked, “Did ye ever hanker to mount a yo?”
It was Nail’s turn to be silent before he said, “Wal, shore. I reckon any feller would.”
“But didje ever do it?” Ernest asked, and waited. He waited a good while before changing the subject. “Nail, you aint never been married, have ye?”
Nail cleared his throat. “No, I guess not.”
“Didje ever have a womarn?”
Nail pondered. He said, “Yeah. I did.”
“Tell me what it’s lak.”
“You never did?”
“I got real close one time, but she changed her mind. Was the one ye had willin?”
“She was willin.” Nail remembered, and smiled. “Matter of fact, it was her idee.”
“Tell me all about it so’s I can draw a pitcher.”
“You want a pitcher of ’em doin it?”
“Yeah, tell me how she set or laid down or whar she put her knees and her hands, and all lak thet. Tell me how you got down or knelt, and all. Did ye have yore clothes on?”
So Nail talked and described and narrated, and he heard Ernest’s charcoal pencil going skritch-skritch. Ernest occasionally interrupted with questions. Was it dark? How far off was that coal oil lamp? What kind of covers was under them? Did they pull any covers over them? What color was her hair? Could you tell if the hair down there was the same color, or lighter? Ernest had a hundred questions before they were both finished.
“I wish I could see yore pitcher,” Nail remarked.
“It aint my best one,” Ernest reflected. “But it’ll do. Looks jist lak ye. Or jist lak I remember ye. Have you changed any since I seen you last?”
“A mite older, is all.”
And sometime in the night, Nail, insomnia filling his head with thoughts of the day after tomorrow, listened to Ernest making love to his imagination and to himself. It went on awhile. Nail reflected that there was at least a ghost of a chance that the boy might get his execution stayed. He was only sixteen, and maybe that governor would take pity and commute Ernest in a way he couldn’t for a grown-up convicted rapist like Nail. Ernest was real smart, and if he got commuted to life and got sent to Tucker, he might be smart enough to escape someday and maybe become a
sheep farmer in some faraway place where he and Rindy could live happy ever after. Nail told himself to go ahead and finish telling Ernest all the things he wanted him to tell Viridis, just in case he ever got the chance.
On the 19th, the day before his scheduled execution, he did. Ernest listened carefully, remembering it all, for a long time before he interrupted: “What makes ye think I’ll ever git the chance to tell her any of this? Ole Sparky’s gonna cup my butt on the first day of May.”
The Nearly Complete Works, Volume 1 Page 175