Traveling at right angles to the river flow, the packet disrupted data as it passed. A professor at Oslo's university lost all his afternoon's lecture notes. A cred account in the name of Grant Wilson tripled in size briefly, then disappeared. Four thousand people in Brazil were denied access for three minutes. The observatory in Flagstaff thought they located a large solar flare, but later determined it was equipment malfunction.
The packet continued its journey across the river, occasionally colliding with other streams and destroying them with a flash of color. It was a great distance across the Quantum, but the packet had more than enough energy to make it safely.
* * * *
Doctor Ressler had done his best to prepare me for my new home, but he failed to lower my expectations enough. He himself had only transferred in six months previously, and already had soured on the regiment. I should have taken the hint.
Their base was more of a cave than a facility. I knew that the Third had built up a reputation as one of the best regiments in the Resistance, but I hadn't realized the disparity between units was so great. When we pulled into the hanger entrance, there was only the slightest shimmer of the shield, and the comlink remained unbroken. Sloppy. One lucky scan and NATech would nail this base's position on the first pass.
The hov spilled down the ramp and eased gratefully to a stop in the middle of the hanger. I was still on my back and could only see out through the overhead portal, but I knew they broke another SOP when the hov didn't swing around for immediate deployment if needed. Again, not especially dangerous but still sloppy.
The rear port opened and a couple of husky lads came on to guide my stretcher to sickbay. The base looked to have roughly the same layout as ours, so I couldn't help but make immediate comparisons. When I determined there was no comparison, I felt my already low spirits sag further.
Sickbay was larger than Barrett's and held eight beds. I was put onto the one furthest from the door and reattached to the uvive, the ultraviolet intravenous unit, this time by my right arm, which I preferred, being left handed. When they stepped clear of the bed, I noticed a slight glimmer as a ghost field dropped down around me Cautious people. The way I felt, a six-year-old with time on his hands could have sent me to my eternal reward and still gotten in his afternoon nap. Ah well, I sighed, I was their guest and I would follow their rules.
Doctor Ressler had followed the two men in, rolling his eyes when they couldn't see him, but I could. Maybe it wasn't a total write off. He seemed to have a clue. He waited for them to leave and was not pleased when only one did. The other planted himself outside the shielding at the foot of my bed.
“That will be all, Cooper,” Ressler said, just a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Yes, Doctor.” Cooper didn't move.
“I'm sorry, Cooper. What part of my statement missed you? I said, you are dismissed."
“Yes, Doctor.” Cooper didn't seem upset. “The Lieutenant gave orders to post a guard over the hostile."
“Hostile!” Ressler laughed. “First of all, Private, Miss Wyeth here is not a hostile, she's a member of the Third Regiment. Second, she's my patient. Third, she's so weak the most hostile action she could take would be to sneer at you."
“Yes, sir.” Cooper was unmoved and unmoving. “Still, the Lieutenant wants to be sure. I don't blame him. You can't be too careful, sir. NATech's everywhere."
“Even in our hospital beds, it seems. Very well, Cooper. Just keep your back turned whenever I'm examining Miss Wyeth."
“Of course, sir."
Ressler looked like he wanted to say something else, but walked to the opposite side of the room where his terminal was. He began accessing, keeping a tight field. Cooper turned toward me and shot me a dirty look.
“Because of you, I have to waste my time hanging around sickbay."
“Nice to meet you, too, Cooper,” I said. “How about we make the best of it and try to be friends, okay? I'd bow, but I'm a little tied down right now."
“Save your bow, lady. I'm a Company A anchorman, not a babysitter. I hope you are a dog, ‘cause then I can give you payback for having to pull jerk duty.” He turned his back to me again. Wonderful, I thought. Well, at least I sort of had privacy. Besides, Cooper didn't strike me as the kind of friend material I wanted.
Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long for some proper friend material to show up. About twenty minutes after Cooper and I exchanged pleasantries, Sergeant Eyer came in, looking clean and sharp. She looked around and spotted me in the corner and waved. She went and spoke to Ressler for a few minutes, then walked over to Cooper. She studied him as though he were something smelly she'd found on the underside of her boots.
“So they finally found a duty to match your talents, huh, Cooper? It's nice to see even trash can be recycled."
Cooper gave her a dirty look. He seemed to be good at giving dirty looks. “Sergeant, if you have something to say to the patient, say it and leave.” He made the word patient sound like prisoner.
“Yeah, I do want to talk to her.” She jerked a thumb. “Privately. Take a hike."
“Sorry, Sergeant, but the Lieutenant gave very specific orders..."
“You forget, Cooper. I was there when he gave you those orders. And I say you can obey them while standing outside sickbay. If you wish to object, I will stand guard while you double check with the Lieutenant. Now leave."
He left. He wasn't pleased, but he left. He no sooner left than she had the shielding turned off. She pulled up a stool and sat down next to me. She was a tall woman, well built, with fiery red hair and freckles. She'd have been a real charmer as a kid, but was now a handsome woman, with a competent air about her.
“Sorry, kid. Cooper's a real pain. Most of Company A is a pain.” I nodded but said nothing. “I heard you just came in, and I wanted to see if you were doing all right.” She lowered her voice. “I also wanted to tell you how sorry I am about the Third. They were a good regiment. One of the best."
“I thought until I was checked up on, I was going to be treated like a prisoner."
She flushed and looked down. “Yeah. Sorry about that. This place is kind of paranoid about infiltration. I don't know why, it's not as though we do too much to get noticed. We don't take it to NATech like your regiment. But Lieutenant Posen makes the rules, so we follow him. What else can a dog do?"
She was right. You followed orders and made the best of it. I didn't like serving under an inferior superior, but chain of command had to be maintained in all but the most extenuating of circumstances, and sometimes even then. At its worst it was lousy, but still better than anarchy.
“So, Abigail, what was your position in the Third?” I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to tell Eyer without first reporting to the Lieutenant. She recognized my hesitation and added, “My mistake. I'm here at the orders of the Lieutenant for your official debriefing. What you tell me goes in the log, so don't lie too much."
“You mean the Lieutenant isn't going to do the debriefing himself? Doesn't that go against SOP?"
“Yes, it does. If it helps, he'll take what I tell him and come here for a few minutes tomorrow so it looks as though he conducted the whole thing.” She made a face. “I'd object except that I think I'm better at this than him.” I got the impression she thought she was better than him at most things. “So. Official question number one: What was your position in the Third Regiment?"
“I was the anchor for triteam one in Company A."
She looked at me for a moment, then stood up and reactivated the shielding, setting it far enough out for both of us to easily fit in. All sound was cut off. She sat down again, sliding the stool even closer.
“Then you're a Cue, right?"
I nodded. “Yes. I was reintegrated in November of 2676, about two and half years ago. I'm ... I'm..."
All the emotions of the past few days flooded over me. I closed my eyes, and the pain washed over and over and over me. All my friends. All my comrades. And the man I loved
, the man I was to marry. I wanted to weep, but couldn't, it hurt so bad. It was as though a massive weight was crushing me and not allowing me to breathe deep enough to start the tears. I opened my eyes and blinked them a few times. Eyer waited patiently, a look of understanding in her green eyes.
“I'm sorry, Abigail. Let's pick this up later, okay?"
“No ... no. That's okay, Sergeant. I think I'd like someone to be here right now.” I smiled weakly. “And you're a vast improvement on Cooper."
She smiled back. “A box of greasy machine parts is a vast improvement on Cooper. And call me Jody. Okay, we'll continue. It's probably better this way anyway. Otherwise you'd have to spend too much time with the Lieutenant."
We continued my debriefing for another hour. Although I was starting to feel comfortable with Jody, and I knew I should report a fully as I could, I did withhold some information. The main piece was my familiarity with the puterverse. I didn't feel bad or guilty about that; not many in the Third knew the full story, and those few considered my achievements to be secret. I continued that approach and only mentioned that I was good in the puterverse.
“Really?” Jody seemed very interested. “That's going to come in handy here. Nearly everyone we recruit has only a nominal skill in the puterverse. What level do you access at?"
Now there was a good question. The fact was that I no longer used level access protocols. I'd bypassed them about a year ago, seeing them as nothing but a burden. Once I saw the proper way to access the puterverse through unbound trinary code, it was so ... so ... obvious that the only real way to use the puterverse was with an oscillated structured broadcast. But I couldn't tell her that and stay out of a straight jacket at the same time. Nor could I tell her the last restricted plateau I had used was level sixty-seven untethered. I don't think anyone had been higher than thirty for more than a few seconds—level thirty was as far as anyone could go without UTC shielding—and then only at a horrible price. And I knew that I was the only one who even knew there were three levels above the accepted maximum of sixty-four. So I made a suitable number up.
“I used twelve limited fifteen for that New Denver raid I mentioned earlier.” At her doubtful look, I added, “But that was a special circumstance. My normal access is nine straight up."
She seemed satisfied with that and moved on. I felt a little proud of myself. A teenager's first urge is to normally show off, often with the best of intentions, but show off nonetheless. I had resisted that temptation and for a while felt a little better.
We finished the debriefing eventually and Jody stood up, stretching.
“I'll get this reported to Lieutenant Posen right away. Sorry, but you know I have to inform him you're a sharded Cue.” I nodded glumly. I'd give anything to keep that information quiet, but knew that it simply had to be this way. Jody continued. “I'll see what I can do about getting you a few of the things you'll need to start fitting in. Clothes, billet, gear, that kind of stuff. I'm pulling to get you in my company, if,” she smiled wryly, “you don't mind serving with lowly B dogs."
“Well,” I said with tongue in cheek, “I suppose I could live with it. Although it is a little beneath me. I should be up serving with your top dogs. You know, like Cooper."
Jody laughed out loud and reset the shielding to exclude her. She gave a friendly wave and walked off. Cooper came back in and planted himself in front of my bed and turned his back to me, not forgetting to sneer first. I should have asked Jody if she could have dropped off my sidearm for me. A couple of shots with my sonic inducer in the back of Cooper's head might have cheered him up. It certainly would have cheered me up.
* * * *
That night was the worst since my ... no, it was the worst in my life. During our trip, the hov was able to maintain enough energy to sustain me. I even made a little progress. But most of the time I was in a dim world not unlike the experience on the desert sand. I was not in my proper mind to grieve for my friends then. Now I was.
It was hard. Very hard. Knowing I would blame myself for living while they had died should have helped me but didn't. Not that night. It lasted forever, and I didn't sleep one minute. Neither, I'm afraid, did Doctor Ressler. Shortly after I started from a fitful half-sleep, he was there to fiddle with my medicine and plasma duplication, perform unneeded examinations and fill out utterly useless medical history questions. In other words, he was there for me.
The anguish and sadness threatened to crush my ribs, the weight was so heavy. Only four nights ago, Aaron proposed to me underneath the stars. And now he lay buried in an unmarked pit under those same stars. That evening he had mused how we fought and gave up our normal lives, and no longer knew how to act like regular people, regular ... lovers. Yet even on an issued blanket, weapons close by and lying in a spot that was used by many others in our unit as their turn came, even in that regimented atmosphere we found a few hours of normalcy. We laughed and kissed and dreamed and ... and now it was gone, crushed by the very thing we had tried to escape for the sweetest and briefest of moments.
And Susie. With me since the day I became a Cue. I had woken up in a body that was ownerless and soulless. I had gone from being a mature, confident, strong, respected man of thirty-one to a scared, young, nearly helpless girl of fourteen. I was so disoriented, I wasn't even aware of what had happened. My body told me I was a young girl, and my mind listened, oblivious to the mistake that had been made. And when my mind finally saw the error, it nearly shut down.
Susie was there to help the whole way. She helped me realize who I had become, and I stepped away from the danger of withdrawing into a permanent shard and instead became the woman I was today.
The woman I was today. I sniffed and wiped away a small tear. I still was not able to fully weep for them, but a tear could come. The woman I was today. That is what I would live for. My friends would not wish to see me destroyed by this. I didn't believe in friends living on in the memories of the living. I believed in heaven and in hell, and in a loving God. But I did not see why I should not honor their memories, speak well of them, and live my life to show what they had done for me. I made my decision. Lying on my back with precious little strength, my life blood still being replenished and still helpless to the care of my doctor and under the watchful eye of a suspicious guard, I made my decision.
I would continue to live. I would be the Abigail Wyeth that Susie and Lieutenant Sanchez and Sarah and Dusty and ... and Aaron wanted me to be. Very few people outside of the Third Regiment knew my confused past. Other than the Kovins I couldn't think of anyone. I hadn't told Ressler yet, or Jody. And I certainly wasn't going to tell their Lieutenant Posen. Fine. I'd let my past stay in that crater. My decision made, I could relax.
Doctor Ressler seemed to notice my calmness and mentioned casually that it just happened to be time to administer a mild sedative and that he wouldn't have to bother me again until morning.
A trace of warmth spread out from the ultraviolet light that oozed through my body, making it wonderfully relaxed. I gave him a slow, dreamy smile and my eyes closed on their own. He was a good man.
* * * *
Six hours later I didn't think he was such a good man. There was a fire in my right arm and I was feeling very queasy. Ressler was massaging my neck and shoulders and encouraging me to wake up, which seemed almost beyond me.
“Abig—uh, Private Wyeth. I need you to wake up. Private! Wake up, please. You have a visitor."
“Wha—what is it, Doctor?” I opened my eyes, but the light stung, so I closed them again. “How come my arm hurts? And my stomach feels so—"
“I'm sorry, Private. I had to waken you prematurely from the sedative I gave you. You'd been asleep for only six hours, so I had to use a drug to wake you up. The uvive doesn't take such aggressive medication, so I had to use a light needle. That's why your arm stings and why your stomach is upset. Both will wear off shortly."
“Why did you wake me up?"
“I'll let Lieutenant Posen answer that one
.” His tone suggested that Lieutenant Posen himself was the answer.
“Very good, Doctor. You may attend to your other duties."
I flickered my eyes open at looked at the source of the annoyed voice. Posen was at the foot of my bed looking down at me. Tall, thin and angular, he was dressed in a crisp, clean uniform and carried a tabinal like it was his best friend. He was consulting with his best friend now, no doubt going over Eyer's debriefing. I felt the urge to interrupt him. I should have fought it down, but hey, I was young. And I was grumpy about being so rudely awakened.
“Um, sir?” He looked at me with a slightly annoyed look, and I felt a wicked taste of satisfaction. “With the Lieutenant's permission, could Doctor Ressler maybe grab me some breakfast from the mess? I'm pretty hungry."
Oh, I hit the right button, all right! Being a teenager meant you always knew how to get an adult's goat. He looked flushed and irritated. I saw his eyes flicker towards Cooper, and I realized I'd made a big mistake. I shouldn't have done this in front of one of his men. Oops. I felt my satisfaction getting trampled by anger. Anger at myself. It was times like these I seriously considered having my mouth filled and sealed until I turned twenty and could handle such a dangerous weapon responsibly.
“I think Doctor Ressler is far too busy a man to be handholding a rookie who's lying around in bed. You can wait for your breakfast."
Well, I had that coming, except for the rookie crack. But I'd already blown it, so I would have to pay now. I resolved to behave myself and try to patch things up. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy, given a chance.
“Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir,” I said contritely.
He ignored me and turned to the doctor.
“Again, thank you, Doctor. You're dismissed.” He didn't wait for a reply, but spoke to Cooper. “Private, you will remain at the ready during the debriefing."
“Yes, sir!” He leered at me and drew his pistol. I almost laughed, he looked so ridiculous. Doctor Ressler looked displeased, but left without saying anything with his mouth. His stiff walk spoke volumes.
Shards [Book Three] Page 2