processed John Wyeth is active human female unit connected to the 179th Regiment. end tangent.]
processed. Conclusion: John Wyeth is alive. Most likely scenario indicates John Wyeth has use of bound trinary code through maturation of KME mnemonic inlays. Most likely scenario indicates John Wyeth has knowledge of This Unit's existence. Most likely scenario indicates John Wyeth able to destroy This Unit. Damn you, Philip LeClaire. end thread.]
[Thread 3: Resolution of reassessed probabilities of threat to This Unit. Termination required. Retrieval of KME organic processing unit required. Conflicting requirements. Resolution: Modified termination required. Termination restricted to John Wyeth organic persona. Retrieval of current biological form of John Wyeth after persona dissolution required. Accelerated persona dissolution by intense assault required. Estimated 3,000 hours required before assault will produce acceptable effect. Estimated 3,020 hours until retrieval of flesh unit. Method: Achieve cascading sharding episodes through aggressive use of outside stimuli. Result: Catastrophic collapse and ultimate dissolution of John Wyeth before—or during—dissection and harvesting of KME mnemonic inlays embedded within organic processing unit.
Action: Initiating concentrated assault on John Wyeth persona. Estimated time to first assault: 30 minutes. end thread.]
end program.
* * *
Chapter Five
The barracks was very quiet when Gina Hawthorne returned from Lieutenant Posen's room at two thirty in the morning. In order to keep B Company this quiet during night operations, an alpha wave dampening field was broadcast from hidden emitters in the ceiling. The result was all personnel slipped into a deeper state of unconsciousness. Only intense shaking, very loud noises or otherwise extreme conditions could disturb this level of induced sleep. Gina intensely disliked being subjected to the field—it made her as helpless to attack as the dogs she was paid to hate. But it was a necessary evil. And since the new recruit had shown up, Posen had issued her a stimulant that somewhat counteracted the dampening field. She had wondered why. Now she knew.
Gina knelt beside the sleeping recruit—her name was Amanda or Abigail or something like that—and looked at the sleeping face. So peaceful. But also so deadly, as she had seen yesterday in the training room and as Lieutenant Posen had so strongly emphasized only twenty minutes ago. Not that it mattered. This girl was against NATech Supreme and would have to be incapacitated. But not killed. Gina smiled in anticipation. Killing was too crude, anyway. Far better to kill their spirit, and let them know it, than to kill them and put them beyond all knowing. Hearing them beg and plead was the best reward for this kind of work. And this girl was almost too easy, because Posen had given Gina two sharding disks.
She pulled one of the micro inducers out of her pocket and placed it against the girl's left temple. Similar to the inducers used in IHADs, this micro unit sent a specific signal to the frontal lobes that momentarily weakened the persona barriers in ripes. It was a device used frequently by NATech Suppression Squads to increase the chances and intensity of sharding episodes. Even better, if one knew how to trigger any of the false personas contained in the Shard's mind, the Shard became that false persona. And Posen had told Gina how to trigger a very exciting ripe.
To think! A persona who would beg to be beaten! A helpless plaything that could not discern between pain and pleasure. Gina's heart pounded from the anticipation of the next two and a half hours. She would teach this girl real pain. She would teach her the difference between pain and pleasure!
Gina thrilled from the danger that came with covert assignments. If discovered by a loyal Resistance dog, Gina would be attacked and possibly captured. If she became too wrapped up in her assignment and killed the girl, she, Gina, would also be killed, by NATech. Posen had given her a few details of the messy way she'd be terminated. Gina enjoyed listening. She loved the flavor of fear mixed with excitement. She felt the tingle of the hunt and activated the sharding disk.
The inducer gave a squeal, then flashed briefly. The girl looked no different, but her outward appearance was misleading Inside her mind, jagged pieces of neurosonic bursts were shredding the artificial barriers between each of the personas. Gina had to act quickly. There was only enough power for eight or ten seconds. She began shaking the girl.
“Wake up!” Gina ordered in a quiet but firm voice. “Useless trash! No one said you could go to sleep! Now, wake up!” The girl began to stir.
* * * *
I was so sleepy. I opened my eyes and saw lots of dark. There was someone in front of me, and I heard a high sound. What ... what...
The person in front of me covered my mouth. I started to scream, then choked as I felt a blow in my stomach. The hand over my mouth twisted my face, and in my pain I saw I was looking into the eyes of a woman. I knew her. It was ... it was...
She hit me again and I knew who I was. The woman I thought I knew smiled.
“You're going to do as I tell you. Now, do not cry out.” She hit me in the tummy again, and laughed when I started to moan. I almost cried out, but was happy I didn't. I lay still and looked into her eyes. She was acting like an owner. Was she my owner, or did my owner give me to her for a while? Her lip was bleeding. She must have bitten it, out of happiness of seeing me like this. She licked the blood and stood up.
“I need to give you a beating, girl. But not here. Let's go someplace private.” She grabbed my hair and jerked me to my feet. I was in a large room with lots of other girls. Did she own all of them? She kicked me in the back, and I stumbled into a dark hallway. I was very proud that I didn't make a sound, just like I'd been told.
She kept shoving me down the hallway until we came to a doorway. I went past it, but she grabbed me and turned me around. I smiled at her. She hit me with her fist and threw me into the doorway. It was very dark inside, but I could see it was a big bathroom. That was good. Lots of my memories were in bathrooms.
“This is the men's showers. We won't be disturbed here. Company A isn't going to interfere, and Company B, including the men, is under a dampening field.” I didn't understand what she was talking about. It didn't matter. I was where I belonged, and I think my new owner liked me. After all, she'd hit me and made me feel good, right? And now she was looking at me the same way all my other owners had. All except the little girl owner in the bright round room. She had been different. All my owners were nice, but she was nice in a different way.
Wait. Didn't the little girl tell me that she was my owner? Or did I think it? I was confused. I was sure that the little girl was my real owner. Then who was this ... I felt a hard hand strike my face and I fell down, feeling wonderful. I was so afraid! I loved being afraid. I looked up at her from the hard floor, then rose to my knees.
“Look at you! You're worthless!"
“I—I'm sorry!"
Why did she say that? She liked hitting me and I only wanted to please her. She was my owner. But what about the little girl? “Are you my owner?” I asked. “I thought that my owner was..."
“You thought? Idiot! You can't think! Yes, I'm your owner. Do you doubt me?"
“NO! No, I don't doubt you!” She did sound like an owner. “It's just that...” I looked down. She was nice. “I'm sorry. Do you want me?"
“Yes. Yes, I do. Come here."
Happy to be able to do something, I got to my feet and walked up to her. She kicked me viciously, once in each leg, and I fell to my knees, where I belonged. My legs were pounding and they hurt. My left leg was filled with a sharp pain, like when I'm cut up with glass. I think it was broken. I heard her grunt with pleasure. She slapped me in the face, and I felt a streak of blood on my cheek. It was a very sharp pain and I cried.
“I told you not to cry out!"
“I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'll be better next time, I promise!” She stood there waiting for me, so I took off my top and dropped it, then hugged her around the waist, sobbing into her. She pressed my face hard against her body, stroking my hair. She seemed
both tense and excited. The pain in my legs and her soft touch blended together and started a fire in my heart.
“Would you like me to hit you now?"
She really did like me! I felt so wonderful and wanted inside. “Oh, yes! I'd love that! How would you like me to be?"
“That's just fine.” I started to laugh with happiness, but then couldn't because she kicked her knee into my neck. My throat got hot and stopped working and I fell back to the floor. It felt warm against my bare back. I tried to get up so she could hit me again, but I didn't have to. She must have liked the way I looked on the floor because she came up to me and kicked me twice, once in my tummy and once below my tummy. That was so nice! Usually, I had to crawl over to my owner. Hard knots of good feeling exploded from my middle, then leaked out to my arms and legs. Pretty lights started shining in my eyes and my head was very full of something hot. I started to curl up around my pain, wanting to get close to it, but she put me on my back and mounted me. I waited for her to decide what she was going to do next. I coughed a couple of times and got to swallow some blood. I was so happy! She loved me! I saw the way her blouse moved up and down from her hard breathing. Her face was flushed and her eyes were very bright. She pressed my hands back, squeezing my wrists with all her strength. Her nails broke my skin, coating our hands with sweet, pretty blood. She was angry and excited. I saw her stare at my breasts and I wiggled for her.
“I want to make you happy,” I whispered, trying to make her like me enough to kiss me. My insides were warm and sticky, and I felt that wonderful feeling in my body that I got when my owner beat me or used me. I loved her. I smiled up at her.
“Are you going to take me now? Please? I love you."
She gasped and let go of me. I felt her weight come off me as she moved away. I got up on my knees a little, only my tummy made me bend over. But I liked that. I looked at her, scared I had not pleased her.
“I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong?” Trying to think of a way to make things better, I put my hands down to my panties and started to take them off. I felt a twinge in my tummy. That meant I was hurt very bad. I smiled, thinking how hard she'd kicked me. She must be my real owner to love me that much.
“What are you doing?” she yelled at me. I looked at her, confused.
“I don't understand!” I sobbed, then fell forward to my hands and knees, coughing. My leg was burning. Burning with love and pain. “Aren't you going to take me? Or would you like to beat me some more? My insides are all hot, but I think I can stay awake a little longer. I promise I'll try."
She stepped up close. She looked confused. “What do you mean? You know how badly you're hurt, but you want me to keep hitting you?"
“Oh, yes!” I said, feeling happy again. “I love it when you hit me! Or you can play with me. That's nice, too!” I took her hand and placed it on me. “Touch me here."
She got mad and scared and took her hand away. “No!” She looked confused again, and not at all like my other owners. “I—I mean, get dressed. Right now!"
“Okay.” My panties were close, so I put them on first. My left leg was burning with fire, only I couldn't see it because it was inside my leg and not on top of my leg, like it was with my other owner. Not Deke. The other one. But not the first other one. The second other one. But not Deke. Deke was my first owner. I slid my panties on. A shiver went up my back, making me gasp and giggle.
“What's wrong?” she asked. “Does it hurt?"
“Yes! It's wonderful!” I exclaimed, working my panties up over my upper legs. “Your first kick was so hard it broke the bone.” I rubbed my leg. “See? You can feel the break right here. And see the bump? It you kick me again in the same place, the bone should come out. It makes me feel so pretty.” My top was a little ways away, so I started to crawl toward it. I heard a step and waited for the blow, hoping it would be in my leg. Either that or my tummy. Instead, she picked up my top and knelt beside me.
“Here, let me help you.” she said. I was so confused. This was nice, but why didn't she hit me? I think I knew why she didn't have sex with me; the little girl's friend, the one with the dark, dark skin and dark, dark eyes, said that some girls didn't play with other girls. I didn't really understand, but I think I did a little. Maybe my owner was like that. But maybe she thought I was like that. I should try again.
She was right next to me when she pulled my top over my head, so I kissed her. She hit my mouth, then jumped back, wiping her mouth.
“What's wrong with you, Shard? Don't you realize I was trying to kill you?"
“Yes, I am! I promise I understand! Thank you."
“Thank you? I break your leg and you say thank you?"
“I'm sorry!” I cried, afraid I'd said the wrong thing. “I don't like talking! It hurts me and makes me have to think and I say everything bad. I'm sorry.” I had an idea and smiled. “If you want, I'll stop talking and we can just play."
“But you're hurt."
“I know."
She looked at me, then came back and put my top on me. I wanted to kiss her again, but I was pretty sure she didn't want me to. She finished, then swore and turned me to her, raising a fist. I lifted my face up to her and closed my eyes, waiting.
But she didn't hit me. She grabbed my shoulders and began shaking me.
“Aren't you going to fight back?"
“No,” I said with surprise. “That's wrong. I should never fight an owner. Besides, why should I fight something that makes me feel good? All my owners taught me that. Even Stays and Cut taught me that, and they weren't my owners. Only Stays almost was, but he wasn't. But Deke was good. You are, too.” She jerked like something hit her. I looked at her, a little confused. “Aren't owners the same way?"
She didn't say anything. She just stared at me with wet eyes. I noticed that when people were quiet like this, they were sometimes thinking. Either that or they were asleep. But her eyes were open, so she was thinking. She saw me staring at her and she smiled.
“Yes. Yes, I think we are. But aren't you afraid?"
I thought about that. I hated hard questions, but she wanted an answer, so I tried real hard to answer.
“Well, I always try to be afraid. It makes me feel like a big girl!"
“No, not that way. I mean, aren't you ever afraid in a bad way?"
“Oh! That kind of afraid. Yes, a little. I'm sad when I don't do what I'm told. And I'm afraid when I'm alone. There's this bright round room that I stay in, and—"
“No.” She was becoming sad and a little angry. She pulled me close to her strong body. “I mean, aren't you afraid you'll be killed when this happens? When people like ... When people like me do these things to you?"
What a silly question! “Why? If it makes you happy to kill me, then I'm happy, too!” I thought a little bit. “But I would be a little sad because I couldn't make you happy anymore after that, because I'd be dead. I remember ... no, I'm sorry."
“What? What do you remember?"
“A knife. Or was it glass? Yes, it was glass the last time. That was when my owner two owners ago wanted to kill me. He had owned me for a while then was tired of loving and hurting me. I tried hard to please him! I really did. But he kept saying I was making him turn into me, or something. I didn't understand. Then one night he came home and was very angry and scared, like you are now. He said, “You've made me like you are, and I'm destroyed.” That was the night he took me into the bathroom and put the glass into me. He put it in my tummy and my arms and my eyes and...” I shook my head. “I can't remember anymore."
“Try.” I felt a tear splash on my face. She was looking away. What was wrong?
“Why are you asking me all these questions?” I was getting scared she didn't like me anymore. “Let's not talk! I don't like talk!” I started coughing very hard.
“What's wrong? Are you all right?” She talked in a loud voice, but she sounded far, far away.
“I think I can stay awake.” The fire in my leg was going away, and I sudde
nly felt a big thing in my stomach. I rolled onto the floor and wrapped up into a little ball. “I'm sorry! I can't stay awake! My tummy's moving all around and my special place feels all full. I think I'm all full of blood. That's why I'm all tingly and excited!” I giggled and touched myself. “I can taste my blood like it's my dinner!"
She jerked, then leaned back against the wall, but still close to me. She was crying. I was sad she didn't like me anymore.
“What's your name?” she asked softly.
“Oh, I don't have a name,” I said, glad to finally hear a question I could answer. “I've never had one. I'm just here to do as I'm told. What's your name?"
“My name?” She was a little surprised. Maybe I asked a good question.
“Uh-huh. My other owners had names. And all the people I saw had names, I think.” I had to stop talking to cough. Every time I coughed, something pinched my tummy and squeezed my lungs. “They're all important. You must be even more important, because you're so good at being an owner. So that means you have a name.” I was proud that I could think of that.
She began to say something, but I started coughing again. I was getting sleepy. She shook me and called to me to stay awake.
“I'm so sorry! Is there something I can do to make you feel better?” she said.
I smiled and coughed. Blood spilled on the floor from my mouth. She did like me! She was going to let me decide! Yay! I could ask her to play with me. That would be nice! But I don't think I worked there anymore. Then I thought of something even nicer.
“Could you kick me again? Please! It feels so nice when you do it. You're a lot better kicker than my other owners. Even Deke, only he was good with a knife. Here's a good place.” I stretched out and pulled up my shirt a little to show her where to kick me. My fingers felt a long bump. I looked down and saw a long white bump above my tummy, under my breast. “How did that get there?” I said.
I looked at my owner to ask her where the white line came from. But she wasn't going to answer me. She was pushing herself against the wall and her eyes were wild. She was making loud sounds that were almost angry, but more scared. She didn't like me, after all.
Shards [Book Three] Page 11