by Melissa Haag
“Bethi wants to speak with you. Alone.”
“Alone seems to be pretty hard to do around you people.”
“You’re safe with me. He knows it.” Luke tilted his head toward Carlos.
What did I care if Carlos thought I’d be safe? And why was Luke concerned about what Carlos thought?
“Because I’m Mated,” Luke said as if I should have asked why. “Werewolves don’t stray. Ever.”
Luke smiled. I didn’t like his smile. And I didn’t like how he glanced at Carlos. I hated conversations with hidden meanings. It was like those stupid picture books where you had to find the guy with the red and white striped hat. I didn’t have time for games.
“Yeah...I don’t really care. I’ll talk to her. But after, you owe me twenty minutes in the exercise room. Deal?”
He appeared to like the idea.
“Deal.”
No doubt, he was remembering the beating I’d dished him at Ethan’s back door. Good. It would make the sparring more interesting.
Luke reached for the door and held it open for me. After we passed him, Carlos silently fell in behind us. I should have bought him a bigger shirt. There hadn’t been any bigger shirts.
Luke went straight to the exercise room, and I was surprised to see Bethi already there.
“You look like crap,” I said, taking in the shadows under her eyes and her pale complexion. Worry, fear, and desperation clouded the air.
“The dreams...you need to help me,” she said.
I knew what she meant. And I wanted to help her; I couldn’t imagine dreaming about dying over and over again. But I also knew what would happen when I did what she wanted.
“You’re going to turn into a crackhead.”
“I hear it’s a sexy look,” she said with a shrug.
I glanced at Luke. He watched Bethi with concern. When he felt my regard, he met my gaze and nodded. He’d seen Gabby. He knew what could happen. I sighed.
“Fine. You can sit on the sidelines. I’ll pull a little while I can drain it. But you have my back at the next stop.”
She eyed me for a minute then nodded. I liked her more for not asking what I wanted from her before agreeing to my terms.
“Ready to dance, Luke?” I asked with a grin. He moved to the center of the room.
I felt a wisp of vengeance and smirked at him. Yep, he was remembering the punch to the face. I rolled my shoulders and shook out my arms. I’d be using my fists this time.
“Luke.”
The way Carlos said his name had me turning. Carlos remained focused on Luke.
“Relax. She knows what she’s doing,” Luke said.
I wondered what Carlos would do if Luke managed to make contact.
Facing Luke once more, I waved him forward. He went right for my face as I’d expected. Pay back. I blocked it easily and let him stay on the offense. He grinned wickedly and started moving too quick for me to deflect. I winced at the openhanded whack to my side.
Carlos growled behind me. He actually growled? It almost distracted me. Annoyed, I pulled. Bethi’s desperation flooded me, as did Luke’s smugness. I grinned at him as he lost his momentum. Then, I jabbed at his face. He jerked his head back at the last second, so my knuckles only whispered along his jaw. Bethi giggled.
“Luv, who are you rooting for?”
“My sister,” she said with a grin. “She needs to win.”
Her giggle wasn’t real. I felt no humor coming from her. Just more worry and fear. I breathed again. Her fear filled me, and Luke’s annoyance burrowed under my skin. I scowled when he slowed further.
“Focus, Luke. You know what I do. I steal emotions. It weakens you. So stop feeling. If you’re not feeling, I’m not stealing.” I jabbed at his face again. This time I connected. It wasn’t hard, though. I didn’t want to hurt him.
I felt his burst of frustration.
“No frustration,” I said, dancing away from his slow counter-jab. “Get rid of it, or I’m taking it.”
I pulled again. He’d managed to get rid of his frustration because I didn’t get a thing from him. However, Bethi’s worry seeped into me. She heaved a relaxed sigh.
“Carlos, she needs to go,” I said without taking my eyes from Luke.
Luke grinned at me and swung again. I leaned to the side, ducking under his arm, and came back up with a fist to his jaw. I caught him in the same spot as before. He grunted.
“I’ll be right back,” Carlos said.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him walk Bethi from the room. I stopped pulling and laid into Luke.
* * * *
I stared out the window, resisting the urge to ask if we were there yet.
“Are we there, yet?” Ethan asked in a whiny, high voice.
I grinned. God, we thought alike.
“No. And if you ask again, I’ll pull this car over,” Winifred said.
Winifred had learned to keep her emotions in check, so it made it hard to tell if she was teasing. I looked at the mirror and caught her smile. At least someone else in the car had a sense of humor besides Ethan and me.
Carlos sat in the front with Winifred. His precise posture and silence annoyed me after his stunt last night. He obviously felt something. Why keep it so hidden? I shook my head slightly. No. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to know. However, I did appreciate that his emotional nothingness helped make the ride somewhat bearable.
Ethan, on the other hand, had grown a little lax in his boredom, and I felt something from him every now and again. I couldn’t blame him, though. It had been a long car ride so far, and we hadn’t made much progress as we zigzagged across the state.
Despite the emotional ease within the cab of the car, every time we passed another vehicle on the road, I inadvertently absorbed emotions. It tended to happen too quickly for me to block; Winifred drove like a demon.
As the sun crested the sky, so did my impatience to get wherever we were going. My skin tingled with it, and I struggled to resist the urge to smack Carlos in the back of the head just because he was so annoyingly calm...and because I was itching for a fight.
“Seriously, are we almost there? I need a break.”
Ethan glanced at me, studying my face.
“Gabby is guiding us through their nets. As soon as she finds a safe place for us to stop, Michelle or Charlene will make arrangements for somewhere to stay the night,” Winifred said.
“So, in other words, you don’t know when we’ll stop.” The thumping behind my eyes intensified, and it had nothing to do with anyone else’s emotions. It was plain ol’ annoyance from me.
“Try taking a nap,” Ethan said.
“It’s past that.”
He frowned, and I could see him flex his right hand. He was testing his shoulder, most likely trying to gauge if we could pull off onto a back road for a little sparring.
“Not happening,” I said, taking his left hand.
He didn’t ask what I meant, so I knew my guess was right. I’d just have to sit in the car and wait out the ride like everyone else. Carlos shifted in his seat and glanced back at our hands. I narrowed my eyes at him.
I managed to contain my irritation for another two hours; although, I did have to give up my hold on Ethan’s hand. Ethan remained quiet beside me, his worried glances telling me I wasn’t successful at hiding my problem. My grip on the door handle tightened with each passing mile. A tiny part of me was thinking about opening it and jumping out. Not to die but to escape. What, I wasn’t sure. The car remained soothingly mellow.
“Gabby’s found a safe spot. She apologizes that it has taken so long. She said the Urbat changed their pattern slightly, and she wanted to watch it for a while to be sure they wouldn’t come back.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I asked.
Winifred met my gaze in the mirror.
“As an Elder, I can communicate with our kind in my mind. I asked Sam, Sam asked Gabby and relayed what she said to me.”
What she was saying twisted
in my head. Werewolves could do everything, it seemed. Everything except leave me alone. I almost twitched with the need to glare at Carlos. This was all his fault. I so didn’t want to know anything more about what his kind could do.
“Whatever. How long till we get there?” I bit out.
“It’s another hour away. But she said the way is completely clear now. Would you like me to find somewhere to stop?”
“Yes.”
Winifred took the next exit. She didn’t go far. Two turns brought us to a semi-rural road with fields between the houses. She pulled over beside one field.
My breath clouded as I stepped out. It was cold enough to shiver, but I barely noticed. The rest of the cars pulled up behind us. I didn’t bother searching out one of the other guys in the group. I walked into the dead field, knowing Carlos already followed.
When I turned, his gaze swept over my face. His expression gave nothing away. I grew even more annoyed and realized my need to vent wasn’t so much the emotions I’d absorbed but rather my own emotions I had tried to ignore.
Once he was close enough, I attempted to punch him in the head. I was irritated that he could so successfully block his emotions from me. I kicked out at his knee. And, pissed as hell over the stunt he’d pulled in the bathroom, I spun close and drove an elbow into his ribs—a new move for him. His grunt made me grin; and I spun around, trying to hit the side of his head. He caught my arm and pulled me close.
“Behave.”
What? Me, behave? I saw red. Sparring went out the window, and I attacked. Who the hell did he think he was to tell me what to do? My body obeyed every thought, and my moves blurred as I hit, kicked, elbowed, and kneed him. I used everything. Some moves connected, and I had the satisfaction of hearing a grunt. Most moves he deflected. Within just a few minutes, I was panting and less angry.
I stepped back, signaling an end to the fight, and looked up at Carlos. His eyes burned with an unnamed emotion.
Eh, maybe I should have behaved.
Before I could apologize, he seized me and tossed me over his shoulder. The cold wind bit into my overheated legs, and below me, the ground zipped past. Just as quickly as the movement had started, it stopped; and he set me on my feet.
“What the hell was that?” I asked, pushing my hair out of my face so I could see.
He stood too close, leaning over me in a menacing way.
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” he said softly.
I swallowed hard.
“I’m sorry. I was angry.”
“Yes. I know. Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I glanced over his shoulder and saw the cars in the distance. They were no bigger than an inch. I could barely discern the people milling around them.
He reached out and held my face between his large hands.
“Isabelle, I’m struggling to control my patience with you. Why were you angry?”
My gaze flew to his, and I snorted.
“Struggling? You? I don’t think you even have emotions to struggle with.”
A flood of complete, hopeless wanting hit me so hard my knees buckled. Carlos didn’t let me fall, though. He shifted one arm to my waist and held me tight against him. The contact along with the deluge of want hazed the world around me. I swam in his need and grew just as desperate with it.
He tipped his head forward, his lips brushing the curve of my ear.
“All of what I feel would frighten you.”
The tickle of his breath against my skin made me shiver. I pressed closer, needing his touch, wanting his attention. The compulsion to wrap myself in him, in who he was, robbed me of any other thought.
I brought one hand up to place on his shoulder and turned my head to breathe him in, deeply. He shuddered and groaned.
Humming with need, I touched my nose to his neck, nuzzling him, drowning in my want. Gently, I trailed my nose along the column of his neck, exhaling as I went.
He whispered my name. Then, suddenly, it all disappeared. The desperation. The need. The heat inducing desire. It all vanished. Only a lingering ache churned in my stomach.
I froze in Carlos’ embrace and shook with my anger, realizing what he’d done.
He exhaled slowly and with a gentle kiss against the shell of my ear, stepped away.
For a moment, despair pulled at his expression, then that too carefully closed off. Though I was mad at him, I was angrier with myself. Ethan had warned me to watch my back. I hadn’t been watching.
With an irate toss of my hair, I turned away from him and started the walk back.
Enough emotion had been vented that my skin didn’t feel tingly and tight. I frowned, considering the emotion he’d just shared. Though I’d felt every ounce of it, I’d absorbed very little. And it had only been one emotion. I hadn’t felt whatever else he’d been feeling. No one felt just one thing. Ever. What kind of control did Carlos have?
* * * *
The rest of the drive finished in silence. Ethan wouldn’t look at me, and I wondered what he thought of the scene he’d witnessed in the field.
When we pulled up in front of the hotel, I moved to stand near Bethi. She gave me a curious look but didn’t say anything. Michelle and Emmitt went to check in. When they came back with four room keys again, I spoke up.
“I need a separate room.”
Michelle glanced at the Elders.
“Why?” Winifred asked.
“I’m going to pass out if I have to keep sparring at this rate. I need more isolation.”
“She’s right,” Bethi said. “She can’t help herself. Isolation protects her.”
Winifred glanced at Grey. Grey looked at the ground. I refused to look at Carlos.
“Emmitt, will you check to see if they have another room?” Winifred asked.
It felt like I was committing a crime with the way everyone silently watched me. Emmitt came back with another room card and handed it over.
“Thank you.” I looked down at the number. “If it’s all right, I’ll just keep to my room.” I didn’t wait for them to approve but grabbed Ethan’s hand.
No one stopped us, and when we were halfway down the hallway, I exhaled in relief. Ethan didn’t say a word as I unlocked the door and motioned him inside.
Once the door closed behind us though, he turned to study me.
“Talk to me, Z. What happened?”
I sat down on the bed and looked up at him.
“Turns out he’s not a robot.”
“What made you think he was?”
“He didn’t leak anything, Ethan. Ever. He was a complete void. Even when you’re blocking, I have a sense of what you’re feeling.”
Ethan sat next to me.
“That’s because you know me better than anyone else.”
“That’s just it.” I set my head gently against his damaged shoulder. “I know you. I don’t know him. I don’t want to be near him anymore.”
“Z, what happened out there?” he asked softly.
I sighed.
“He opened himself and let me feel just one emotion. It was too much. It burrowed under my skin, and I felt what he felt. It was like it was my own emotion. I couldn’t tell the difference.”
“What did he feel, Z?”
I closed my eyes and turned my head to hide my face against Ethan’s shoulder.
“God, he wants me.” My stomach tightened at the remembered emotion.
“Lots of guys have wanted you, but you typically don’t kick their butts for it. You really laid into him, Z. You were nicer to Brick.”
I cringed, knowing he was right.
“I was so mad. At the car ride. At the people chasing us. At this dumb trip. At him for being so damn nothing all the time. I thought coming with them to see if I could get rid of this thing I do was a good idea, but maybe it’s not. I just want to go.”
He finally wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze.
“This is the right decision for now. Yo
u’re just afraid.”
I lifted my head.
“What?”
“Carlos made you feel something you didn’t want to feel, right? It freaked you out.”
Yeah, it definitely freaked me out. I set my head back on Ethan’s shoulder and exhaled heavily.
“Do you need to spar again or are you feeling all right?” he asked.
“I’m good. Bored after the long drive, but good.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Let’s just watch some TV.” I didn’t want to leave the room and risk running into Carlos again.
“Sounds good to me.” He stiffly dropped his arm, stood, and moved to the head of the other bed. He got comfortable then waved me over with his left arm. I gave a weak smile and joined him. I needed Ethan to get better.
I just needed Ethan.
* * * *
The next morning we packed up and joined everyone in the lobby. I wasn’t looking forward to another day in the car or facing Carlos. The negative emotions drifting from the group told me no one else wanted to spend another day driving either.
“We thought we might go out for breakfast,” Winifred said as we approached.
“Good,” Ethan said. “I’m starving.”
There’d been no room service the night before since the hotel didn’t offer any. And raiding the snack machine in the hall had been unsatisfactory. It had either been understocked, or the rest of the group had hit it first. Fruit snacks and chewing gum had done little to curb Ethan’s appetite.
We threw our bags into the car then walked the three blocks to the restaurant. I enjoyed the stroll and lingered at the back of the group with Ethan. Despite my intention to ignore Carlos, I found myself studying him. He walked beside Grey near the front of our procession. Everyone else chatted, but they were quiet. I couldn’t help wondering what Carlos was thinking. Had he been upset by the separate room? Was he worried I’d shared a bed with Ethan? Why did I even care? He had to know we’d want a separate room after he’d made me switch beds. I mean, I wasn’t about to make Ethan sleep next to Carlos again, though I didn’t think Ethan had actually minded. Yet, if Ethan wouldn’t share with Carlos and Carlos didn’t want me bunking with Ethan, that meant I’d find myself snuggling with Carlos.
The remembered sensation of Carlos’ mouth against my ear made me shiver.