by Melissa Haag
When he opened his eyes again, he pulled me toward him. We moved together to the music, a gentle sway that beckoned me to lean in further. I rested my cheek against his chest and sighed, floating in peace.
The music ended too soon. I lifted my head, but he didn’t stop dancing with me. Our gazes locked. Something there made my pulse flutter. In excitement or in warning, I couldn’t tell. My head was too fuzzy to think straight.
“I need some air.”
I pulled away from him, but he kept hold of my hand and led me toward the smoker’s exit near the back. Trees surrounded the overgrown patio, and he tugged me toward them.
We walked a ways into the woods then he stopped and turned toward me, only inches separating us. The distance reminded me of the night in the bathroom, and I tilted my face up toward him, wondering if he’d try something like he had that night. Part of me hoped he would. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted him to hold me, but I didn't want it to mean anything.
He turned away from me, confusing me. It took me a moment to notice that the hand holding mine shook.
“Carlos?”
“Will you do something for me, Isabelle?” he asked softly.
A shiver coursed through me at the rough edge in his voice. I tried to focus, to feel what he might be feeling, but my head was swimming too much.
“Do something?”
“Yes. For me.”
I hesitated. He wanted me to do something for him but wouldn’t turn around and look at me. Even with my head swimming, I knew that, along with the shaking, couldn’t be a good thing. Yet, he was still talking. Asking nicely. That couldn’t be too bad, could it?
“What do you want me to do?”
“Run,” he said.
I wasn’t expecting that.
“Why?”
He turned and using my hand, tugged me closer to him. My breath caught when his other hand rose to my face. His fingertips trembled against my skin as he touched me lightly along my jaw.
“Because I want to chase you.”
At first, I thought he was joking. But his serious expression told me otherwise.
“Just run?”
He nodded.
“Like tag?”
Slowly, he shook his head. I searched his face for a hint of what he might be thinking. The shaking got worse as I backed up a step, then another. He growled low, and like the insane person I’d always guessed I was, I tore free from his touch and ran.
A rumbling growl sounded behind me a moment before something came crashing through the trees after me. I let out a squeal and pushed myself to go faster. I dodged around trees and squeezed through bramble. A few times, I thought I might have gained some distance, but then I’d hear another splintering crash or growl.
Either the running or the adrenaline seemed to burn off enough of the alcohol that I realized what I was doing was crazy. I stopped suddenly and spun around to face Carlos. Only it wasn’t Carlos that burst through the trees.
A dark beast prowled closer on all fours. Its lips were pulled back in a snarl, and a spike of fear dissolved the rest of the alcohol’s effects. It looked just like the things that had attacked us.
“Carlos?” Fear pitched my voice higher than usual.
It jumped forward and knocked me down, not giving any indication that name meant anything. The beast stood over me and lowered its muzzle to my face. I could barely breathe past the terror filling me.
“If you’re Carlos, you better show me now, or I’ll make you bleed.”
The beast gave a shudder and fur started to disappear, exposing familiar tan skin. His ears receded and his teeth retracted. Within seconds, the beast leaning over me became Carlos.
His gaze locked with mine. There was no anger. Instead, everything in his expression hinted at the want he’d once let me feel, a desire so potent, a need so consuming, I’d let him hold me. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of it.
“Isabelle...” He slowly lowered his head, his breath fanning my face as he glanced at my lips.
Panic surged through my veins.
“I’m not ready,” I whispered.
He sighed, closed his eyes, and dropped his forehead to mine.
“I know.”
He didn’t move, and I became very aware of just how close we were. His inside thighs touched the outside of mine. The heat of his chest warmed me but didn’t press against me. His arms, braced on either side of me, prevented any further contact. But for how long?
“Can we get up?” I asked nervously.
He nodded, but didn’t move further.
“Carlos. Are you all right?”
“Thank you, Isabelle.”
“For what?”
“For running.”
Then he got up and offered me his hand. My eyes bugged.
“Where are your clothes?”
He looked down at himself then at me.
“I’ll need to get some new ones from the car.”
As he grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, I forced my gaze to remain locked on his face.
“Do you think everyone is ready to leave?” I asked, pretending my face wasn’t fire engine red.
“Yes.”
He turned and started walking away. I had no choice but to follow the full moon out of the woods. It was a nice walk back.
When we reached the building, Carlos pointed at the back door as he veered left to walk around to the parking lot. I went inside and found everyone sipping water at the bar.
The seat next to Bethi was open, so I carefully made my way to it. It seemed the clarity from the run in the woods and those intense moments on the ground had started to fade, and my eyes refused to focus as they should. It made walking a little tricky. That my head felt light and fuzzy didn’t help either. No one else looked like they felt any better than I did. I couldn’t be sure if it was the alcohol or the mysterious and slightly creepy mood change they’d all gone through just before I’d left.
“Are you all right?” I asked Bethi as I sat next to her.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“What happened to all of you?”
“You did.”
“What do you mean?”
She glanced at the bartender. Winifred, at the far end of the bar, called the man over to her and started a conversation.
“You can take people’s emotions, pulling so many that people lose their will to live. Like those Urbat you...” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, when you’re full of emotion, you can also push it back out, forcing foreign emotions into the people around you. When there’s enough of it, the emotions seem to overload their brains and make for a very violent death.”
“How do you know this?”
“Been there, dreamed it.”
“Why didn’t you say something before now?” I asked, getting angry. I might have done something different the night that Ethan—
“You didn’t survive in the dream.”
That cut off my growing anger.
“Oh.”
So when I’d felt so full of happiness before, I hadn’t pushed it out into the air but into everyone around me. It hadn’t hurt me, and it hadn’t hurt them. But I hadn’t been that full of emotion, either. I realized what that meant for me. The next time I faced the Urbat, I could pull/push emotions like a pulse. They wouldn’t be able to get close to me. And, I bet the more I held in before pushing it out, the more it would affect the people around me.
Carlos came in just then, drawing my attention. Dressed once again in slacks and a polo, he looked just like his old self. However, the image of his naked backside was burned into my retinal memory.
“Are there any other hidden talents I should know about?” I asked Bethi, trying to distract myself.
“If there are, I haven’t dreamt them,” she said. “I really hope you’ll be able to fix the hangover I’m going to have tomorrow.”
“Sorry, babe. Hangovers aren’t emotions.”
Carlos strode across the room, his focus entir
ely too intense. I looked away and caught sight of my flushed face in the mirror behind the bar.
A second later, Carlos stood behind me. Our gazes met in the mirror. My chest felt tight, and my heart didn’t want to beat right. The dumb organ couldn’t make up its mind if it wanted to be fast, slow, or just stop.
“You should try to eat,” he said, placing the leftover container in front of me. “Please.”
I nodded, flustered by my reaction to him, and opened the box. The burger was cold from being in the car so long. I took a bite anyway. It was good and made my stomach feel better. Bethi stole a piece of my bacon.
By the time I managed half the burger, I felt normal. Still drunk but not flustered. I set the rest of the burger back into the container.
“Finished?” Carlos asked.
“All yours,” I said, nudging the container to the side. He reached around me, and his arm brushed mine. The skin under my sleeve tingled at the contact. So much for normal. I kept my gaze locked on my glass of water. Twice, I almost used the mirror behind the bar to see if he was looking at me.
A stool scraped along the hardwood floor.
“Looks like it’s time to go,” Bethi said.
I glanced up and saw the Elders standing. Winifred was handing the bartender a decent tip for a thankfully slow weekday afternoon.
Carlos set the empty container next to my elbow and offered me his hand. I knew he only meant to help me from the stool, but I couldn’t touch him.
“I’ve got it,” I said. My ungraceful slither from the stool didn’t support my words.
He followed closely as I moved toward the door.
When Jim passed Winifred, she held out her hand. He sighed and handed over the keys. I doubted it was due to his alcohol consumption. Rather, it was most likely due to our detour. Everyone piled into the same vehicles, leaving Carlos and me alone.
He didn’t comment when I hesitated before veering toward our car. He waited patiently for me to get in then closed the door for me. Once he was behind the wheel, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. The disorienting movement of the car as Carlos pulled out of the driveway had me opening my eyes again. I swallowed hard.
“You can lean on me again,” Carlos said.
Twelve
His offer didn’t help settle my stomach.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. How far do we have to go?”
He was quiet a moment.
“We’ll be there soon.”
The whole in-the-head communication thing was still weird. So, instead of wondering how it worked or who he’d asked, I replayed our run through the woods. What had possessed me to say yes to that? I glanced at Carlos’ profile and felt a tug in my stomach. Stupid pull.
My head still felt fuzzy when Carlos pulled into the hotel parking lot, and Bethi’s comment about a hangover had me regretting the last few shots I’d consumed.
I couldn’t wait for a shower and bed. Thanks to the weird happiness burst, I didn’t feel twitchy or edgy, so there was no need to spar before I crashed. However, thanks to our afternoon binger, we hadn’t practiced either.
Everyone moved a bit slower than normal to get inside. Someone must have called ahead and reserved the rooms because it didn’t take long for Michelle and Emmitt to hand out room keys. When Michelle handed a card with the same room number on it to both Carlos and Luke, I didn’t complain. I had promised.
Bethi and I walked together up the stairs then down the hall. She was very quiet and not radiating too much of anything. In fact, everyone in the group seemed emotionally subdued.
Luke reached around us to open the door.
“Does anyone need the bathroom before I shower?” I asked.
“Yes,” Bethi said, making a beeline for it.
It didn’t take her long to step out and give both Luke and Carlos a chance at the bathroom. Once everyone finished, I closed myself in and started the shower. Who knew what was in my hair after being chased through the woods and knocked to the ground. I wasn’t a fan of anything with more legs than I had. The thought made me grin as I recalled werewolves had four legs. Then, I frowned as I remembered how Carlos had shifted from four legs to a very naked two. I shook the thought away, stripped, and stepped into the shower.
The hot water felt good, but I didn’t linger. I wanted sleep.
After I dried myself, I found a clean pair of shorts in my bag. I was pretty sure they weren’t mine. At least, I didn’t remember buying them. They looked the right size though, so I pulled them on followed by a clean tank top.
When I opened the door, the room was already dark. After the bright light in the bathroom, I couldn’t see much but was able to discern that one bed had two lumps and the other just one. I carefully shuffled to the bed with one lump, lifted the covers, and slid in.
Exhaling slowly, I let myself relax.
* * * *
An arm over my waist prevented me from rolling over like I wanted to. So I threw it off and repositioned myself on my other side. The weight settled back on my waist and pulled me toward a heat source that warmed my face. I scooted closer until my nose touched skin then sighed and went under once more.
* * * *
The almost silent click of a door closing nudged me to consciousness. I wasn’t ready to wake up yet. My head hurt a little, and I still felt so tired. I snuggled in closer to Bethi, then froze as I registered every little detail about my snuggle buddy.
My hand was on the chiseled ribcage of my bedmate. Chiseled didn’t quite describe Bethi. My nose pressed against a sparsely haired chest. I couldn’t picture Bethi sleeping with me topless, let alone having chest hair. And the fingers of a strong, large hand stroked my back.
Anger rode in on top of my panic-pony.
“Is anyone else in the room with us?” I asked, without moving.
The hand on my back stilled.
“Why are you asking?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt anyone else when I go after you.”
“Bethi thought you might feel that way. She and Luke just left.”
He didn’t move or try to defend his position. I lifted my head and met his gaze. His darkly lashed chocolate eyes held me for a moment before I noted the rest of his face. His strong jawline...the slight curve of his lower lip...the dimple in his chin...his corded throat...his chiseled, bare chest. I swallowed hard and didn’t check any lower. Instead, I met his gaze again.
“Good morning, Isabelle,” he said softly, like it was an endearment or a declaration.
It made my heart flutter, and I had to look away. Focusing on his bare chest didn’t help. It was perfect. Tanned skin dusted with dark hair. Who was I kidding? I liked where I was.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Good morning, Carlos.”
His arm tightened fractionally around my waist.
“Why, exactly, aren’t you on your half of the bed?”
“I am.”
I lifted my head again. He lay on his side, on the very edge of the bed.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” I said, trying to move away.
“Not a thing. Go back to sleep.”
His fingers started tracing paths on my back. I wanted to sigh again and settle in for some more sleep, but I couldn’t. I’d only ever been this close to Ethan. And Ethan had known and respected the boundaries I’d set to keep him safe. My boundaries kept everyone safe. Look at what had happened the night before. A few drinks and I was pushing happy like the newest drug on the street. The affirmation of my need to isolate myself hurt as much as the memory of Ethan.
“Carlos, I can’t do this. I can’t deal with what you want. It hurts. Don’t you understand? It was supposed to be Ethan.”
His fingers twitched against my skin, then curled into a fist.
“Because you loved him or because you thought you owed him?”
For the first time, Carlos sounded angry.
I tried to pull back and look at him, but his arms tightened around me.<
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“It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you, I can’t deal with any of this right now. Let go.”
All he did was pull me closer. His body shook.
“Bite me.”
“Excuse me?”
“If you want me to let you go, bite me.”
Last night, he’d asked me to run. I had and ended up on the ground with a big, naked Carlos hovering over me. Biting was definitely not a good idea. I could imagine where it would lead. And my very vivid imagination killed what little anger I had still clinging to my backbone.
“I’ll scream if you don’t let go,” I said. I inwardly cringed. Way to sound like a scared little girl.
He made a noise. It was a cross between an angry growl and a groan of frustration. His shaking continued.
He was freaking me out, and I didn’t know what to do about it. He had no emotions to pull and was obviously stronger. I was out of my depth with him.
“Please.” It was a desperate last attempt before I really did start yelling my head off.
He exhaled slowly then lifted one of his arms. I scrambled out of bed and rushed to lock myself into the bathroom. The cold of the tile barely registered as, with a quiet thump, I leaned my forehead against the door and released a shaky breath.
After taking a few seconds to calm down, I turned to the sink and started to brush my teeth. I took my time, singing the alphabet in my head three times before spitting. How long would it take for him to leave? The problem with not sensing his emotions was that I didn’t know if he was out there waiting for me.
I used the toilet, washed my hands, and brushed and braided my hair. Hoping sufficient time had passed, I gingerly opened the door just enough to peek out. The room was empty.
Bethi wasn’t going to get another chance for a sleepover after abandoning me like that.
I stalked out of the bathroom and bolted the door to the room before changing for the day.
* * * *
Following my nose, I found the breakfast area on the main floor near the lobby. All the tables, save one, were empty. Carlos sat alone, slowly eating his breakfast of eggs, bacon, and yogurt.
He didn’t look up when I entered, and I hated the swift guilt that hit me. I had nothing to feel guilty about. He’d taken advantage. He knew I was off limits. I’d made it clear. Yet, he continued to be annoyingly intense.