(Dis)content (Judgement of the Six Book 5)

by Melissa Haag

  “Can you tell me what happened?” he asked.

  I glanced at Carlos, wondering just how much he expected me to say. As usual, I couldn’t tell.

  “Um, well, Carlos and I went for a run. We were separated for just a few seconds, and when someone caught me from behind, I thought it was Carlos. Until that someone spun me around and punched me in the face. Then, I figured it out. With my ears ringing, I couldn’t pull right. The guy called Blake to say he had one of us—”

  “How do you know it was Blake?” Grey asked.

  “Because I pulled again, knocked the jerk who’d hit me to his knees, and stole his phone.”

  “What did Blake say?”

  Some of my sass left me as I remembered his apology.

  “That he didn’t mean for Ethan to die. He was lying, though. I told him we were coming and that I would kill him.”

  “All right. I’ll let you two rest. Stay inside for the rest of the night.” Grey left, quietly closing the door behind him.

  I turned to Carlos.

  “Yep, we’re grounded.”

  Carlos wasn’t amused. At least, I didn’t think so.

  “Come on, big guy. Let’s go to bed. I’m beat.”

  Grinning at my pun, I held the bag of ice to my face and walked back to the bedroom.

  Seventeen

  Several times during the night, a cool cloth pressed against my cheek as I lay in the circle of Carlos’ arms. Each time, his care brought a drowsy smile to my lips before I drifted back to sleep.

  In the morning, I woke alone and stretched slowly. My face hurt, but it was nothing new and nothing to cry about. I’d been hit hard plenty of times in my life. And each incident was my own fault. This time was no different. I shouldn’t have played quite so hard to get.

  “Good morning, Isabelle.”

  I looked over at the bedroom doorway. Carlos stood there, dressed for the day in his pressed pants and pastel polo shirt. His hair was neatly combed, and he looked freshly shaven. The sight of him made me feel light and happy, and not just because he was holding a plate of food.

  “Good morning.”

  Patting the bed beside me, I pushed myself up into a sitting position. He joined me and handed over the plate. Scrambled eggs and hash browns.

  “I’m so glad you can cook,” I said, loading my fork. “I suck at it, and TV dinners like to go straight to my butt.”

  He didn’t say anything. I paused with my fork halfway to my mouth as I eyed him. I took my time studying his features, trying to guess at his mood since I couldn’t feel anything, as usual. Something about his eyes seemed almost sad, but the set of his lips was slightly tight.

  Four days ago, I would have thought his expression neutral. Now what I was seeing was the barest of changes. That I was really starting to know Carlos warmed my middle.

  I set the fork back down.

  “What part are you upset about?”

  “The part where I took you outside.”

  “Really? Because I liked all of it. A lot. Until I got hit in the face. That guy pissed me off.”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I took the opportunity to lean forward and kiss his neck.

  “Isabelle.” The warning in his voice made me grin.

  “Carlos,” I said, using the same tone. “Does this mean you’ll chase me again?”

  “No.”

  “Not even around the couch?”

  His lips twitched, and I grinned.

  “Did you almost smile?”

  “Almost. Eat your breakfast.”

  I took a quick bite, chewed, and swallowed.

  “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you. Chasing me around the couch.”

  “I love you, Isabelle.”

  My heart stopped then restarted with a different, faster beat.

  “I saw you fighting in Ethan’s bar and wanted to kill the man who was trying to hurt you. When I saw Ethan touch you in the field, I wanted to kill him, too. Then, I started seeing you for what you are. A fighter. I’m not okay with that,” he said, touching my bruised face, “and I’m always going to want to protect you. But fighting is part of who you are, and I’ll need to learn to deal with it.”

  I swallowed hard as he continued to watch me.

  “Wow. Uh, that was a lot.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to cringe. I was screwing this up. He’d just told me he loved me, and I couldn’t say it back because I always hurt the people I loved.

  I set my plate aside and pushed back the blankets to get to my knees. He watched me closely.

  Swallowing hard, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. Just a hug. He hugged me in return, smoothing a hand down my back.

  “You feel like home,” I whispered, hoping he’d understand.

  I turned my head, laying it on his shoulder. We held each other for a long while before I pulled back. As he let me go, he reached up and ran a gentle finger along my cheek.

  “How is it feeling today?”

  “Better than it should be. Thank you for taking care of me last night.”

  “Last night and every night.”

  His words made me warm. How could he make me feel everything like he did? Happy being with him, more loved than I ever had in my life, and sad on his behalf because I wasn’t ready to bite him. I held his gaze. Why wasn’t I ready? It was too soon. Too soon since meeting him and too soon since Ethan died. Yet, so much had happened. It didn’t feel too soon. It felt like months. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to bite him.

  I looked down at my hands.

  “I know what you want,” I said quietly. “That level of commitment seems...” I exhaled heavily and met his gaze. “I still feel like I don’t know you. I need a hint of what you’re feeling sometimes. I feel so blind with you. Everyone else I can read. Not you.”

  “I see what everyone else’s emotions do to you. I don’t want what I feel to hurt you.”

  “So, you’re going to hold yourself back forever? When you’re mad, I want to know it. When you’re happy, I want to laugh with you.”

  “Once you Claim me, I won’t be able to keep it locked up.”

  “What?”

  “When you bite me, you’ll feel what I feel.”

  I frowned.

  “So, the floodgates would always be open?” I remembered the few times I had felt what he’d felt. Emotions so intense they’d taken me over. How would I deal with that? I couldn’t. Letting a bit out here and there would be fine, but if I had access to everything...

  “You’d end up like my parents,” I said, thinking aloud.

  “I don’t think so. Grey and I discussed this at length. According to Bethi, you siphon the emotions you feel around you. What you and I would have...it’s different. We will feel each other in our minds.”

  Slowly, I shook my head.

  “It’s not a risk I’m willing to chance.”

  “I understand. But what if I told you we could try it, and if you didn’t like it, you could break the Claim?”

  “Really? How?”

  He shrugged.

  “There are several different ways. The point is that we could try.”

  I thought back on Bethi’s conversation. She’d said mating was the only permanent bond.

  He watched me as I thought it over. We’d already kissed, and he’d been fine each time. I could bite Carlos and know what he was feeling. If the connection made me twitchy or took over, I could say I wanted out. There didn’t seem to be a downside, nothing to lose. A thread of excitement filled me.

  “So do I need to light candles for you or something? Or just pounce?”

  His pupils dilated and a shudder ran through him.

  “Pounce.” The word was already rough with his slipping control.

  It amazed me that I did that to him. With a grin, I knocked him back onto the bed.

  His shaking grew more pronounced as I set my hands on his shoulders and buried my face in his neck. I inhaled deeply, smelling Carlos. The urge to n
ibble at his skin gripped me.

  A small, happy noise escaped me as his hands settled on my waist. He pulled me over him, so I straddled his stomach. It made it easier to run my lips over his skin, trailing kisses. His hands moved from my waist to my back, pressing me closer, until we were chest to chest. My pulse pounded with the need to bite him. I opened my mouth and scraped my teeth along his skin. He groaned.

  I grinned at his response then gave him what he wanted, a nip on the neck. It wasn’t as satisfying as I’d thought it would be.

  He shook as I pulled back.

  “Well?” I said, looking at him.

  His arms tightened around my waist.

  “More.” The word came out a broken growl.

  He wanted me to bite him more? I looked at the red mark I’d left on his skin. It was already barely visible, even though I’d bitten him pretty hard.

  “Whatever floats your boat,” I said, bending down to nibble his skin again. I trailed little nips down to his collarbone. Without a doubt, I was enjoying what I was doing and so was he. His shaking grew worse with each pinch of my teeth.

  “Isabelle.” The drawn out syllables of my name sounded pained. “Break the damn skin.”

  I pulled back in surprise.

  “You want me to what?”

  His arms wrapped around me, and he slowly drew me back to his neck.

  “Bite me. Bite me like you’re mad at me. Bite me like it’s the only way you’ll get free. Because it is. I’m not letting go until it’s done.”

  I tried pulling back again, and he didn’t budge. Instead, I turned my head so I could see him.

  “You really want me to hurt you?”

  “It won’t hurt. I promise.”

  I continued to stare at him, doubting his words, even as the urge to bite him like he’d asked rode me hard.

  “Please.”

  The begging won me. I turned my head and bit hard enough to draw blood.

  His yell shocked me.

  “You said it wouldn’t hurt!” I jerked back from him, wiping my mouth while looking at him with concern.

  He exhaled heavily and closed his eyes.

  I felt relieved and relaxed and very turned on. I wasn’t that turned on a minute ago. I wanted to kiss him but held myself back, waiting. What was I waiting for? My heart swelled with love for him. He was perfect. Everything I wanted. And so beautiful. Whoa, what? Carlos was handsome. Hot. Rugged. Intense. Nowhere in there did I think him beautiful. It was way too girly a term for him.

  “What the hell is going on?” I said, staring at him.

  Emotions continued to tease me, but not in the way I was used to. They weren’t filling me. They were just in me.

  “How do you feel?”

  “I wouldn’t know. You’re in my head.”

  “I mean, is what I’m feeling causing any problems?”

  “Yes, you’re so horny I can’t think straight.”

  He grinned. A full, show-me-your-teeth grin. It was sexy as hell.

  “Is there a volume control for this?” I asked.

  He closed his eyes again and some of the feelings gradually mellowed. The love didn’t. That emanated with an intensity that made it hard to breathe.

  I eased out of his arms, slightly overwhelmed by the new experience. He let me go and sat up, watching as I grabbed my plate. I began to eat the cold eggs while I considered what I was feeling from Carlos. I was used to sorting through a whirlwind of emotions, but this was different. The emotions were strong but not in a way that brought me to my knees. Instead, they wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a cold day.

  His love was the easiest to feel and know. Then awe and pride. Because of me. Because I’d found him worthy enough to Claim him. He humbled me with those emotions. But behind them hid a layer of anger and pain so thick that it took me by surprise. Was he feeling that way because I’d messed up the bite? How was I supposed to know I had to bite that hard? I ate another mouthful of eggs as I blushed, thinking of all the unnecessary nipping I’d done. A slow heat crept up my neck.

  “Why are you worrying?” Carlos said once again looking at me.

  “Why are you mad?”

  The anger melted away, but the pain remained.

  “The bite didn’t hurt, right?”

  “The bite was perfect.” He leaned toward me and kissed my forehead. “Do you need more ice? Biting didn’t hurt your cheek further, did it?”

  I shook my head, still trying to puzzle out the anger and pain.

  “We need to meet up with the others,” he said. “It’s almost time.”

  I nodded and watched as he stood and walked out the door. He was more complex now that I could feel his emotions, not less. If I hadn’t screwed up the bite, then why was he in pain? What had hurt him that much?

  Forking the last bite of eggs into my mouth, I stood and made my way to the kitchen. Carlos was by the dryer, taking out our clean clothes. I’d forgotten about them.

  I left my plate on the kitchen counter and went to the bathroom. Only my hairbrush and toothbrush waited by the sink. He’d already packed up his things. We were obviously not staying longer.

  Brushing my teeth hurt. A few of my molars protested, and I eased up on the scrubbing. When I spit, there was pink in the foam, and I got angry all over again at the man who’d hit me. Blake had so much to pay for. I wished I could be a fly on the wall when the crap-storm we were about to create hit home for him.

  After running the brush through my hair, I packed up my things and opened the door. Carlos was waiting with my jacket, shoes, and our bags.

  “Everyone is waiting for us by the cars.”

  “We’re not staying?”

  “We’re packed just in case. We don’t know if Charlene’s contact will be able to get us on the air or not. If she doesn’t, we’ll need to wait until she can. If she does, it would be better to leave the city.”

  “More long car rides...sounds fun.”

  A wave of love washed over me.

  “Was that a mental hug?”

  “Something like that.”

  My insides warmed, and I tried to send what he made me feel back to him.

  “All right, big guy, let’s roll. If we’re lucky, I’ll get to hit someone today.”

  * * * *

  “This time, Charlene will get us in,” Grey said as we stood outside the news building.

  I nodded, more than willing to let someone else take the lead.

  People moved around us, keeping up with their everyday chaotic rush. Since leaving the apartment, I’d maintained my balance of near emptiness by siphoning and draining. In those brief moments when I inhaled the emotions of those around me, I got a read on our group. Anticipation was heavy, but trepidation was a close second.

  Carlos stood behind me, his hands wrapped around my arms. I wasn’t sure if it was a loving embrace or restraints. Either way, his touch helped calm some of the storm as did the gentle surges of love I felt from him.

  Charlene and Thomas started out, followed closely by Winifred. The rest of us fell in loosely behind them. As a group, we entered the building and made for the elevators where we split into two groups.

  “We’ll meet on the twelfth floor,” Winifred said.

  Bethi, Luke, Gabby, Clay, and Grey stepped into the elevator with Carlos and me.

  “Congratulations,” Clay said quietly, looking at Carlos.

  Behind me, I felt Carlos nod.

  I was puzzled for a moment until Carlos gave me another one of those mental hugs.

  Bethi’s eyes went wide as she stared at me.

  “Shut up...”

  I gave her a crooked grin.

  “Bet you didn’t get a hand shoved in your face,” she said.

  “Will you ever let me forget that?” Luke asked.

  “Nope.”

  Gabby glanced at me.

  “It’s strange at first, but you’ll get used to him being in your head.”

  Hearing her say that relieved me. It was
weird having Carlos in there. Not really in a bad way, just...weird.

  “I hope so,” I said.

  “We’re standing right here,” Luke said.

  Gabby grinned at him and leaned back against Clay.

  “In your head is a good place to be,” Clay said. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

  The elevator slowed and binged. When the doors slid open, we stepped out. The other elevator was three floors behind, apparently having stopped to pick up passengers.

  We lingered by the elevator bank, waiting. I carefully breathed the emotions in and out. Bethi's ran all over the place.

  “Tone it down, girl.”

  She nodded and immediately her emotions muted. They weren’t nonexistent like Carlos’, or silent like the Elders’, but they were quiet enough that she didn’t overwhelm me. She was getting better.

  Behind us, I listened to the quiet conversation of the receptionist with another woman and the approaching click of heels. The doors opened to the second elevator. Winifred and Sam stepped out, followed by Charlene and Thomas.

  A wave of panic hit me, and the sound of heels stopped. I turned and saw Penny in the hallway, her gaze locked on Charlene.

  I stole her panic as she spun on her heel.

  “Charlene,” I said in warning before the woman took a second step.

  “Penny,” Charlene said. The woman stopped walking and slowly turned.

  In an eerie display, all other movement in the large room stilled as well.

  The man behind the desk laid his head down, and the woman joined him. Another man, who’d been reading the paper while he waited in one of the reception chairs, folded the paper on his lap then closed his eyes as if to take a nap. A maintenance worker, who was sweeping the floor with an extra-long dust mop, set the mop on the floor, then took a seat. The unnatural actions had me glancing at Charlene.

  Bethi had said Charlene could control people but seeing it was scary crazy. I wasn’t the only one affected by the display.

  Penny's fear spiked.

  “So much for not abusing your power,” she said, anger shaking her words.

  “I don't abuse my power,” Charlene said. “I only use it when necessary. And you've made it necessary.”

  “Me?”

  “Do you forget what I can do? I know you have a camera in the room, a voice recorder, a new lock on the door, and the police on speed dial. You planned to tape me doing something amazing and then turn me in. It didn’t work the last time you tried, and it won’t work now. That’s not why I’m here.”