The past four days had been close to idyllic, and Faith acknowledged that the time spent looking after Nicky had gone a long way toward healing the wound left by the loss of her own baby.
But with each passing day Faith became firmly enmeshed in the role of being Nicky’s mother. Even though she kept reminding herself that the situation was only temporary, a part of her wished the dream life she was living would never end.
Chapter Seven
When Saturday morning dawned Faith woke with a feeling of happiness and contentment she’d never thought she’d feel again. Downstairs she found Jared already in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
His warm smile of greeting sent her heart into a tailspin as she watched him serve up a plate of steaming pancakes and coffee. Upstairs Nicky started to cry, but before she could move, Jared put his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll take care of him. Enjoy your breakfast,” he added before striding toward the stairs.
Faith sat sipping coffee, silently marveling at a man so eager to share his parental responsibilities, and so determined to play a major role in his son’s life.
Several hours later, Jared reappeared in the kitchen after taking Nicky upstairs for a nap. “It’s almost two o’clock. I’d better get going. I’ll pick up the salmon from the market on my way home,” he added.
“Is Nicky asleep?”
“Yes. But it took a while. He was more interested in watching the mobile above his crib.”
Faith smiled. “He’s beginning to see the shapes and movements of the animals now.”
“And he’s starting to smile more often, too,” Jared said, warmth and love in his voice.
“Yes, he is.” Nicky was awake for longer periods during the day, and he’d started responding to all kinds of stimuli.
“Is there anything we’ve forgotten?” he asked, capturing her attention.
“Ah...all I can think of is a couple of lemons. I meant to buy them yesterday, but I forgot Otherwise, I think everything is under control.”
“Good. I’m really looking forward to tonight. It’s been ages since we...ah, had company for dinner.”
In fact, Jared knew it was the first time he’d had anyone in for dinner since moving into the house a year ago. Paula had made no effort to socialize with his friends, repeatedly reminding him there wasn’t much point, not when she wouldn’t be staying.
But this woman wasn’t Paula. If he’d learned anything during the past few days it was how dramatically different in personality and character twins could actually be.
Faith wasn’t at all like her sister; in fact, he’d have to say they were complete opposites. He’d found himself drawn more and more to Faith—her warmth, her smile and particularly her devotion to Nicky.
“I’m looking forward to tonight, too,” he heard Faith say, and at her words he smiled. He’d been smiling a lot lately, due, he knew, to the fact that for the first time in his life he was experiencing what being a family was all about, and he didn’t want it to end.
“I have to drop in to the office for a while, but I should be back around four,” he said. “Everyone’s coming at five, aren’t they?”
“Yes,” Faith replied, ignoring the sudden and erratic pounding of her heart, caused she knew by the smile still curving Jared’s mouth, accentuating the cleft in his chin.
For the next hour Faith busied herself tidying the kitchen and setting the dining-room table in readiness for their guests. She’d just put the finishing touches on the table when the phone rang. Thinking the caller might be Jared, she hurried to the kitchen and grabbed the receiver.
“Hello!” she said cheerfully.
“Faith, is that you?”
“Paula! Yes, it’s me,” Faith replied, the brightness gradually fading from her voice.
“You won’t believe what’s happened! I’ve got incredible news,” Paula rushed on excitedly. “My agent just called. I got the part! I’m going to be working in a new movie with two of Hollywood’s leading actors.” She followed her announcement with a squeal of pleasure before hurrying on. “I’m thrilled, flabbergasted, ecstatic! This is the break I’ve been waiting for... dreaming about. After this, I just know my career is going to Skyrocket!”
“Paula! How wonderful! Congratulations,” Faith said, trying to inject enthusiasm into her voice, all the while thinking Paula seemed to have forgotten Jared’s threat to take Nicky away from her.
“I knew this would happen,” Paula continued, oblivious to Faith’s growing concern. “I’m on cloud nine! I have goose bumps just talking about it! Picture this! My name up on the screen next to theirs!”
“That does sound exciting. But I thought...”
“Filming doesn’t start till December, which is great. That gives me lots of time to get back in shape.”
“Paula, wait, aren’t you forgetting something? Didn’t you get in touch with a lawyer?”
“Why do I need a lawyer? I have a terrific agent, and she’s negotiated a great deal.”
“I’m talking about Nicky. You told me Jared threatened to take him away from you if you went back to acting. Have you talked to a lawyer? Maybe if you sat down with your husband and told him your news, explained to Jared just how much—”
“Husband? Did you say husband?” Paula asked, amusement lacing her voice.
“Yes,” Faith answered, bewildered by the question.
Laughter echoed down the phone line. “Jared isn’t my husband. We’re not married.”
“Not married!” Faith repeated, reeling from the impact of her sister’s astonishing revelation. “But he wears a wedding ring.”
“That’s just his class ring,” Paula explained. “I teasingly told him he should put it on his left hand and I would wear one, too. That way everyone would assume we’d secretly gotten married. It was just a joke!” Paula was laughing.
“You and Jared aren’t married?” Faith asked again, wanting to be sure she wasn’t mistaken.
“Don’t get me wrong. Jared is a nice guy. We had some good times together. But he’s one of those guys with old-fashioned ideas about love and marriage, and when he proposed I just told him I wasn’t ready for all that. I’ll probably never be ready for it.
“Besides, I knew about this project. I’d already read the script, and there was a perfect part in it for me. I couldn’t just walk away from my dream, could I?”
Faith couldn’t think of a thing to say. Her mind was still mulling over the fact that Jared had offered to marry Paula, had offered to do the honorable thing, and had been turned down.
“What about those threats you told me Jared made?” Faith suddenly asked as she tried to sort things out in her head.
“That’s not important right now.” Paula brushed aside the question.
“You can’t be serious!” Faith protested, astonished by her twin’s lack of concern. It didn’t make sense...nothing made sense. Unless... Faith’s thoughts shuddered to a halt.
“You lied to me about Jared, didn’t you?” Faith asked.
“Not exactly,” Paula hedged. “He does want custody of Nicky—”
“Why did you lie? Why did you want me to pretend to be you?” Faith interrupted, anger rising like a hot-air balloon inside her. “And while you’re at it, maybe you could explain why you ran off in the first place. It’s a question Jared has asked a number of times. I’m a little curious to know the answer myself.”
Paula made no reply. Several seconds ticked by, and Faith began to wonder if the connection had been broken.
“I’m listening,” Faith prompted.
“Look, sis. When you told me Jared had showed up at your house, I couldn’t see the harm in letting him go on thinking he’d found me. And I felt better knowing you’d be taking care of Nicky, that’s all.
“And the reason I left before Nicky was born was because I felt like a prisoner. Jared was constantly talking about the baby coming and...well, I was tired of the whole deal. He didn’t care about me, he only cared about the baby.” Paula’s t
one bordered on petulant.
“So you decided you’d had enough and you were leaving,” Faith said.
“Not exactly,” Paula repled. “I got an urgent call from my agent telling me the studio had already begun auditioning.
“The auditions weren’t supposed to start for another month. I freaked out! I had to do something! I thought if I showed up at the studio, I could somehow convince the casting director that I really was the best candidate,” Paula said.
“I knew if I told Jared what I was planning to do he’d stop me. So after he went to work the next morning, I just left. It was stupid, I know,” Paula acknowledged. “I guess I could have called him after Nicky was born. But I was afraid that if he came and took the baby, he’d never let me see my son again. And to top it all, I didn’t even get to the studio. I went into labor an hour after I arrived in L.A. But right after I gave birth to Nicky, I called my agent and told her I’d be able to make the auditions after all. Lucky for me she’d already managed to push my audition back two weeks.”
Faith sighed, having difficulty understanding why her twin had jeopardized the safety of her unborn child simply for the sake of an audition.
It appeared she’d lied about Jared making a threat, and in doing so had involved Faith in an unnecessary deception. A deception that had nothing to do with Nicky’s welfare, and everything to do with Paula’s own driving ambition to succeed.
“Faith...listen. None of this matters now,” Paula said. “Can’t you just be happy for me? Don’t you understand what getting this part means to me?”
“No, I don’t,” Faith replied, unable to fathom her twin’s total lack of regard for her son’s welfare, or for that matter the pain and anguish she’d put Jared through.
“You’ve never understood.” Paula’s tone was bitter. “I deserve this chance. I’ve worked hard for it and nothing is going to stop me.”
Faith bit back a sigh. “You still haven’t told me what you’re going to do about Nicky. Don’t you think it’s time you got together with Jared and discussed what arrangements you need to make for the baby?”
“All right! All right!” Paula responded, her tone sharp, her annoyance evident.
“It’s just that you seem to have forgotten you have a son,” Faith said. “Oh, by the way, have you told Mother and Dad about their new grandson yet?” she asked, attempting to change the subject and lighten the conversation a little.
“Not yet. They’re on their way to New Zealand to visit Aunt Ruby, remember. And they said they’d be stopping off in Hawaii for a week first.”
“You’re right I forgot,” Faith said. Their parents had planned to spend several months with her mother’s sister, who was recovering from a recent heart operation.
“Look, I’ve got to go,” Paula said, cutting through Faith’s drifting thoughts. “I’m meeting my agent and a couple of friends tonight for a drink. At least there’s someone around here willing to help me celebrate,” she added on a sour note.
“Paula. wait! I am happy for you, really I am, but it’s time you faced your responsibilities. Jared is a wonderful father, and he loves Nicky very much. You should meet with Jared, discuss what you think is best for Nicky and make a decision together.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Paula agreed grudgingly. “I’ll call the airlines and book a flight to Seattle. I’ll be there tomorrow night,” she said. “Is that all right with you, sister dear?” Sarcasm gave an edge to Paula’s voice. “Or would you rather I abandoned my celebrations and get on a plane tonight?”
Faith stifled another sigh. “Tomorrow will be fine,” she said calmly. “And Paula, congrat—” Faith began, but her sister had already hung up.
When Faith replaced the receiver she could hear Nicky crying upstairs. Muttering under her breath, she headed to the nursery.
Half an hour later, Faith was still in the nursery when she heard a noise from downstairs telling her Jared had returned.
Faith felt her heartbeat accelerate. For the first time since he’d walked into her life a week ago she suddenly felt shy and uncertain about seeing him.
Ever since Paula had laughingly announced that Jared wasn’t her husband, Faith had been wrestling with this news, telling herself it changed nothing, yet knowing in a private corner of her heart that she was only fooling herself.
Faith rewound the music box mobile suspended over Nicky’s crib before slipping across the hall to her bedroom. She felt sure Jared would peek in on his son, and she wasn’t ready to face him.
Regardless of this latest development, Nicky’s welfare was still Faith’s primary concern, and it saddened her that Nicky wasn’t a major priority in Paula’s life. During the entire telephone conversation, Paula hadn’t once asked how Nicky was doing, if he was all right, if he was happy. Faith felt deeply ashamed and more than a little angry at her twin. Didn’t Paula realize how truly blessed she was?
It seemed ironic that Paula had found a man as wonderful as Jared, a man willing to accept responsibility for his actions, a man deeply committed to raising his son, giving him the love and attention he deserved. Instead of embracing the miracle she’d been given, instead of joyfully accepting the wonderful gift, Paula had abandoned her family, for a chance to be in the spotlight.
And while Faith acknowledged it was probably too late, she vowed for Nicky’s sake to try once more to make her sister see just what she was throwing away.
What about Jared? During the past few days his anger at her, or at Paula rather, had for all intents and purposes vanished. They’d actually been enjoying a kind of harmony. Faith found herself wondering if Jared was beginning to think Paula had changed her mind and was content in her role as a mother.
Suddenly the prospect of continuing the deception one more day weighed heavily on her shoulders. Was it really fair, now that Paula was coming to Grace Harbor, to keep Jared in the dark?
An hour ago she’d been looking forward to the evening ahead, but now she was preoccupied with the question of whether or not she should tell Jared the truth.
What would he think of her? How would he react when he found out she wasn’t Paula? He would have every reason to hate her, and every reason to throw her out.
It was with a heavy heart that Faith ventured from the relative sanctuary of her room. Having brought only jeans and a few sweaters with her, she’d been forced into choosing one of Paula’s dresses from the closet. She’d settled on a navy dress with long sleeves. Its silky texture gently hugged her curves, while its flared skirt reached her knees. She felt overdressed and self-conscious, but she really had no choice.
Brushing her hair till it shone, she used two tortoiseshell combs to secure it away from her face. In an attempt to boost her confidence she’d applied a minimum amount of makeup to highlight her lips and cheekbones.
Jared finished seasoning the salmon using a mixture of herbs and spices, and was wrapping it in foil in readiness for the barbecue when he heard Faith coming downstairs. He hadn’t seen her since his return and had assumed she was in her bedroom getting ready for the dinner party.
Reaching for the towel nearby, he dried his hands and glanced up in time to see her enter the kitchen. The sight of Faith wearing one of Paula’s dresses, looking like a model in a fashion magazine, sent his pulse racing and his heart spinning out of control.
She looked incredibly beautiful. But unlike Paula’s superficial beauty, Faith’s came from within, from the warm, wonderful, caring way she gave of herself.
“You look fabulous.” Jared spoke softly, and smiled as a rush of color suffused her face at his compliment.
She gazed down at her hands, twisting them in a nervous gesture that tugged at his heart. “Thank you,” she responded in a breathless tone, making him want to haul her into his arms and ravage her trembling mouth.
One thing he knew—whoever Faith’s ex-husband had been, the man was a fool.
“Everything’s ready to go on the barbecue,” Jared said as he took a step toward her.
“The table looks terrific, by the way.”
“Thank you,” Faith mumbled. Keeping her eyes averted, she moved behind the kitchen table, shying away from him like a high-strung filly.
Jared wasn’t altogether surprised she was nervous about the evening ahead. After all, unlike Paula, she’d never met Stephanie and Dave, or Dylan, before. But when she continued to avoid making eye contact with him, he suddenly had the strong impression there was more to her reaction than simply nervousness. “Is Nicky due to be fed soon?”
Faith glanced at the clock on the stove. “He’ll probably wake up when everyone arrives.”
“Good! I like a kid with good timing. That way I won’t have to wake him up to show him off,” he added, but there was no answering smile from Faith.
Puzzled, Jared tossed the towel onto the counter. “Paula? Is everything all right?”
“Yes! Of course!” she replied brightly, too brightly.
Jared heard the tremor in her voice, and noted the flash of guilt in her green eyes.
Something was definitely wrong! He could feel it. What could have happened to cause this change in her?
A thought struck him. Could Paula have called while he was out? It was a logical explanation for Faith’s unusual behavior and one that put him on immediate alert.
“I’m just a little nervous about tonight,” Jared heard her say.
“Don’t be,” he responded, his tone reassuring, but all the while his thoughts were racing. He was tempted to ask her outright whether Paula had called, but a quick glance at the clock told him there wasn’t enough time, not with guests arriving in less than half an hour. “I’d better hit the shower. I’ll be down in fifteen minutes.”
Jared took the stairs two at a time. Earlier at the office when he’d replayed the messages on his answering machine there had been a call from Greg Dunsford.
Greg hadn’t had much to report. He’d told Jared about the audition Paula had attended the previous day, but for the most part, Paula had been staying close to the hotel, spending her time in her room or in the hotel gym.
The Baby Arrangement Page 8