by Gina Wilkins
“It was a long time ago. We were just kids—well, I was. Wade’s a few years older.”
“So I take it you had a cordial parting of the ways? I ended an engagement once, and let me tell you, my ex-boyfriend wouldn’t offer to help me with anything. He’d be more likely to offer to help the bad guy track me down. Let’s just say the breakup did not go well.”
Lisa sipped her tea to stall for a moment before answering. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Wade the night she’d told him that she had been accepted into law school and that the wedding was off. She had braced herself for days, not certain what to expect from him. Would he yell at her? Argue with her in an attempt to change her mind? Would he drop to his knees and beg her to stay, telling her that she meant more to him than anything, including his job and that he couldn’t live without her?
If she had secretly hoped for the latter, she was bound to be disappointed. Wade had listened to her carefully rehearsed speech with little expression on his face, saying not a word until she was finished. And then he had simply nodded, told her to call him if she ever needed anything from him and turned and walked out of the room without a backward glance.
The next time she’d seen him, he had treated her with the same polite distance that he’d displayed ever since. If she had broken his heart, or even bruised it a little, he hid it extremely well.
“Our breakup was amicable,” she said, lowering her teacup. “It was my decision, but Wade took it well.”
“Bummer. That had to hurt.”
Her mouth twitching with an unexpected smile, Lisa nodded. “As a matter of fact, it did. It would have been much more flattering if he’d at least tried to talk me out of it.”
“They don’t call him ‘Ice’ for nothing.”
“No. He totally earned that nickname.” But he could be warm, Lisa thought wistfully. Even passionate. He just rarely let anyone see that side of himself.
She had long believed his painful childhood was the reason he hid his feelings so well as an adult. He’d once told her that showing emotion had been a sign of weakness in his dysfunctional family. Showing any sort of vulnerability had been a bad idea, he’d added. She believed he had compared it specifically to bleeding in shark-infested waters.
“He seems like a nice man. I’ve always liked him, though I never felt as though I knew him very well.”
“He is a good man. And very hard to get to know.” Though there had been a time when she had known him probably better than anyone else. Or thought she had.
“You’re getting along very well now. He seems awfully…well, aware of you. You know?”
“If you’re trying to ask if Wade and I are getting back together, the answer is no. It didn’t work the first time and I can’t see it working between us now. But I am grateful to him for helping me out this week. I’d like to think we can always be friends.”
It sounded so prim. So trite. And something told her that her new friend deserved better. “I could never compete with Wade’s job. And I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life trying. I haven’t changed my mind about that.”
“Oh.” Katie looked vaguely disappointed. “But if he changed?”
“Then he wouldn’t be Wade,” Lisa said with a wry shrug.
Katie nodded as if Lisa’s words made perfect sense. “Ronnie’s as obsessed with racing as anyone. The morning of qualifying, the night before a race, it’s as if he’s with me physically, but his mind’s already in the car. He’s been known to eat an entire meal and then not remembera half hour later what I made for him.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“Are you kidding? It drives me crazy. But I knew that about him when I married him. And I accepted it was part of the cost of being with him. It helps to know that he loves me at least as much as he does racing. And the times when I have his full attention are well worth the price.
“Besides,” she added, “it isn’t as if I’m moping around in limbo until he has time to pay attention to me. I’ve been doing some tutoring for kids in the family outreach program. And some of the other NASCAR wives and I like to play Bunko on Saturday nights while our husbands are busy. In a few months, I’ll have the baby to keep me even busier. I’ve managed to find quite a bit of personal fulfillment being Ronnie’s wife.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that you wouldn’t. I just don’t think it would be the same for me. Being a driver’s wife, I mean. Or a crew chief’s,” Lisa added awkwardly.
And then she groaned and rolled her eyes. “Not that there’s any chance of that. Wade and I both moved on a long time ago.”
“Oh? So you have a boyfriend back in Chicago?”
“Well, no. I’ve been pretty busy with work.”
“And Wade hardly ever sees anyone—too busy with work, I guess.” Katie’s expression was just a bit too studiedly innocent.
“We’ve moved on,” Lisa insisted.
“Of course you have. Do you want another cookie?”
Not at all certain she had convinced Katie that there was nothing new developing between her and Wade, Lisa politely declined the cookie and said she should probably get back to the motor home. She had a couple more calls to make that afternoon, she explained.
Katie didn’t try to detain her any longer, but she made it clear that she was available whenever Lisa wanted companionship. Feeling as though she’d made a new friend, Lisa walked back alone to the motor home, aware of the curious looks from people she passed, most of whom had never seen her before.
She could hear a great deal of noise coming from another part of the infield, where the tailgating was in full swing among the fans who had parked their own motor homes and camper trailers there. She could smell the enticing aromas of barbecues and smoker-grills wafting through the hot summer air, and she predicted that the beer-fueled parties would continue well into the night.
It sounded like fun, she thought a bit wistfully as she keyed the security code into Wade’s motor home. But she had to keep in mind that she didn’t really belong here. This was Wade’s world—and her father’s and Katie’s and all the other thousands of NASCAR participants and fans surrounding her on every side. Her place was back in Chicago—as soon as it was safe for her to return there.
LISA HAD ONLY BEEN BACK in the motor home for maybe twenty minutes when Wade came to the door. “Want to go get something to eat?” he asked.
She’d planned to make use of the well-stocked kitchen, but she would always choose to have someone else cook for her when given the option. Besides, it got kind of lonely sitting in the motor home by herself. “Sure. I’d like that.”
He nodded. “Are you ready?”
Having changed out of his splashy purple-and-silver sponsor colors, Wade now wore a white polo shirt embroidered on the pocket with the Woodrow Racing logo, navy chinos and black walking shoes. Deciding her bright yellow camp shirt worn over a matching tank top and dark jeans fit with his outfit, she nodded. “Let’s go.”
She expected to meet a group of his coworkers at the restaurant, as they had the night before. She was rather surprised to realize that it was going to be just the two of them tonight. Because it was a Friday evening and a race weekend, the restaurant was crowded, but Wade must have called ahead. They were seated after only a very brief wait.
“I thought the others would be joining us again,” she said when Wade held a chair for her at the table for two.
“Disappointed?” He waited until she was seated, then took the chair across from her.
“No, of course not.” It wasn’t that she minded dining with Wade, of course. They had certainly shared many meals together. But maybe it would have been a little more comfortable if they’d had company this evening.
The restaurant specialized in seafood and Lisa wasn’t at all surprised when Wade ordered fried butterfly shrimp. Fried shrimp was his favorite meal, one of the many bits of trivia she remembered about their time together. She wondered if he remembered enough about her to have predicted th
at she would choose the grilled salmon. For all she knew, such details had long ago slipped his mind.
Silence fell between them after the waiter left with their orders. Lisa made an effort to fill it before it grew too awkward. “You must be very pleased about Jake taking the pole for Sunday’s race.”
“Of course.”
“Do you think there’s a good chance that both Jake and Ronnie will make The Chase?”
“Yeah, I do. If Ronnie finishes well Sunday—and if some of the other marginal drivers fall to the back.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Lots of ‘ifs’ in there.”
“That’s racing.”
“And you still love it.”
“No sense denying it.”
“I hope Ronnie finishes well this weekend. I like Katie a lot.”
“Yeah, she’s nice. And I want Ronnie to do well, too. Just not better than Jake.”
“That’s a given, of course.” She reached for a crab-stuffed mushroom from the appetizer tray he had ordered. “Katie’s having an ultrasound next week. They’re hoping to find out if the baby’s a boy or a girl.”
“Yeah?” He selected a bacon-wrapped scallop and popped it into his mouth.
“It’s kind of funny. Ronnie wants a girl and Katie sort of hopes it’s a boy. But she said neither one of them would be disappointed either way.”
“Mmm.” Wade reached for the appetizer tray again, and she decided that maybe he wasn’t interested in talking about babies. She wasn’t either, she assured herself. She had simply been trying to start an innocuous conversation about mutual friends.
So, as always, it was back to racing. “What’s your schedule like for tomorrow?”
“Hectic. Inspections, practice, media and sponsor appearances.”
Wade had never been much of a talker, but he seemed even more terse than usual tonight. “Wade, is there something on your mind?”
He lowered the mushroom he’d been raising to his mouth. “What do you mean?”
“You seem distracted. I know it’s a race weekend and you like to stay focused, but, I don’t know. Something seems different tonight.”
He shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about that guy who got shot. The one you work with back in Chicago?”
“Joe Engler? What about him?”
“It could have been you.”
That took her aback. He’d been worrying about that? Something that hadn’t even happened? “But it wasn’t me. I got out of town just after the threats started, remember?”
“What about the next time some disgruntled crook you put away wants to get even? Or some angry and vindictive family member? Remember all those attacks against federal judges in recent years? And several lawyers have been targeted outside of the courtroom.”
“I’ve heard about those incidents, of course, but they really are rare, Wade. I take sensible precautions. I live in a good neighborhood, vary my routes to work, stay alert when I’m out by myself. I’ve taken self-defense courses and attended several seminars about staying safe. But that’s the most I’m willing to do. I refuse to live my life in fear.”
“Still, your job does come with some risks, just because of the type of people you deal with every day.”
“I suppose there’s a slight risk to being a prosecutor, but that’s hardly a reason for me to quit. Would you advise Jake to stop driving just because of the danger inherent in his career? You’ve got to admit that he’s much more likely to be hurt on the job than I am.”
“Well, yeah, but he’s—”
She scowled. “What? A man?”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“Then, what?”
“I was going to say that you have the choice to go into other, less risky practices of law. Your father has a whole team of lawyers. You could take over his legal dealings. Or if you don’t want to work for Woody, there are plenty of prestigious firms that would be delighted to have you join them.”
“I’ve had this conversation a few dozen times with my father. I’ll tell you the same thing I always tell him. I’m doing what I want to do, for now. I needed to make a life for myself, Wade, apart from my father. Now that my mother’s health is so precarious, I’m considering looking for a job closer to home, but it isn’t because I’m afraid to stay where I am now or because I want a more so-called prestigious position. I’ll probably still be a prosecutor, wherever I end up. It’s what I do.”
“But it isn’t all you’re trained to do,” he argued. “You would still be practicing law even in those other positions. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Let me put it this way. Why don’t you start driving? You’re still young, you could probably get a ride with a start-up team, maybe start racing trucks.”
He looked completely baffled by her suggestion. “Why would I want to do that? I’m a crew chief, not a driver.”
She lifted her eyebrow in a pointed expression. “It’s still racing. And some people would say it’s a more prestigious position.”
Scowling, he sighed. “Okay. Point taken. Even though I don’t think it’s exactly the same thing.”
Not that he would admit, anyway, she thought in satisfaction. She waited until the server had placed their meals in front of them, refilled their water glasses and left them alone again before trying a new topic. “Have you heard from your brother lately?”
Dipping a large shrimp into a dish of cocktail sauce, Wade nodded. “I saw him in April. He came to the race in Texas and watched from the pits.”
“Really?” That rather surprised her, since Wade and his brother, Harlan, had never been close. She had never even met him during the time she and Wade were together, though Wade had mentioned him in passing a few times.
“Yeah. We’ve stayed in touch a little more over the past few years. He’s married, got a kid now. I guess being a husband and a father made him think a little more about family. Since I’m pretty much all the family he’s got, he started calling every couple of months.”
“So you’re an uncle. Boy or girl?”
“Boy. Thomas Wade. He’s four.”
And it obviously meant more to him than he let on that his nephew bore his name. “That’s nice, Wade. I’m glad to hear that you and Harlan are getting closer. Everyone needs family.”
“Yeah? If that’s your philosophy, why do you live so far from your own?”
She sighed loudly. “Haven’t we been through this already? And I told you, I’m probably moving back to be closer to my folks. I talked to someone in Raleigh a few weeks ago, before the mess with Norris started. I think I can get in there.”
“Your parents would like that.”
She wondered how Wade felt about the possibility of her living so close again. Not that they would necessarily see each other any more often. And even if they did, they’d been getting along perfectly well during the past few days. Maybe they could be friends, of a sort. She supposed she would like that.
Of course, it would be a lot easier to consider him just a friend if her silly heart would stop fluttering every time his eyes met hers directly across the table. Such as now, for instance.
Quickly lowering her gaze, she stared intently at her plate as she cut into her salmon and hoped he didn’t notice that her face had gone suddenly warm again.
“Tell me more about your schedule tomorrow,” she said, her voice sounding just a half octave higher than usual to her own ears. “You said you’ll be doing some publicity appearances with Jake?”
Apparently making an effort to be more companionable, Wade started talking a little more, giving her an overview of his schedule for the next day, his tone as impersonal as if he were talking to a near stranger. All in all, she supposed that was for the best.
RETURNING TO THE TRACK from dinner, Wade told Lisa he would walk her back to the motor home. It wasn’t an offer, she noted wryly, more a statement of intent. She didn’t bother to argue with him.
Looking toward the area where the fans parked, she commented on how
noisy it was.
He shrugged. “It’ll quiet down some when it gets late. Not a lot. Some of the parties go on all night. And they’ve been known to get a little wild.”
Trying to think of something more to say, she cleared her throat and looked up at his motor home. “I hope you aren’t too uncomfortable bunking with Jake. I still feel guilty about being in your bed.”
Even as the words left her mouth, she wished she had phrased the statement a bit differently.
Wade didn’t seem to notice any awkwardness in her wording. “I’m okay at Jake’s. Like I said, it’s keeping him out of trouble.”
“Is that usually a problem?”
“No,” he admitted. “Just kidding. Jake isn’t easily distracted on a race weekend. He tends to stay in his bus by himself when he doesn’t have something scheduled. He watches TV and reads and keeps himself calm and centered. He does his socializing away from the tracks.”
Lisa didn’t doubt that Jake had all the “socializing” opportunities he desired when he wanted them. Maybe he wasn’t exactly her type, but she could definitely see his appeal.
Thinking of her “type” brought her attention to Wade again. He had stopped walking and stood very still, looking at the motor home with a frown.
“What?”
He glanced at her. “Are those yours?”
“Is what mine?” Following his gaze, she spotted the pair of sunglasses lying on the lowest of the steps that led up to the door. “Oh. No, I’ve never seen that pair before.”
“They weren’t here when we left.”
“So someone dropped them while we were gone,” she said with a shrug, trying not to let his tone make her uneasy. “There are a lot of people coming and going around here.”
“This area is reserved. We don’t usually wander onto each other’s steps.”
She pushed her hands into the pockets of her jeans in a nervous gesture. “Maybe someone thought you were there and came looking for you.”
“Maybe.” But he didn’t sound convinced. “I’ll come in with you. Look around a little before I head to Jake’s.”
“You don’t think anyone could have gotten inside? Not with the security on that rig?”