Automatically his arm tightened around Lucy’s waist.
She turned to look at him and he knew it was time to get off the horse.
It was either that or he was going to kiss her, no doubt about it.
* * *
Weak-kneed when her feet touched the ground, Lucy tried not to wobble as she headed toward the water’s edge, putting distance between her and Rowdy. The knowledge that she trusted him swept over her like the warm glow that had just burst through the dark clouds.
That trust changed everything about her since waking up in that burn center, alone, scared and scarred.
When her heart had been closed up tightly, she hadn’t thought much about her body. She’d just been grateful to be alive and that her face and hands had been spared. But now, in an instant of discovery and recovery she’d become aware... What would a man—Rowdy—think of her scarred body?
What would a husband think of the sight of her?
The thought was almost more than she could bear. She wrapped her arms about her waist and prayed for the images to fade away from her mind. For God to give her answers.
She felt exhausted and emotionally drained as Rowdy came up behind her and gently tugged at her hair.
“Penny for your thoughts,” he said.
She closed her eyes, but couldn’t trust herself to speak.
Rowdy walked down the creek, putting distance between them. He seemed restless—bothered. After a minute he swung back around. “I have to say something.”
His tone startled her. “Okay.”
“I, um... Look, there is no easy way to say this. I rushed kissing you before because that’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done. If I see something I like, or want, I go for it. No waiting patiently for me. I just go for it. And where women are concerned, that’s always been the way I operated.” He paused, looking uncomfortable as he tugged at his collar.
She knew he had a wild background. But hearing him talk about his...love life brought the wall back up around her heart. She hadn’t even realized it had just fallen down.
“Lucy, I’m changed.”
Anger that she’d let her guard down crushed over her. “You kissed me the other day out of the blue. How is that ‘changed’?” The memory of the kiss surged through her as if it had been only a few seconds since he’d planted his lips on hers.
His eyes filled with distress. “I know. But—I honestly went a little crazy when we were fighting over that sledgehammer. And I didn’t know your story then. I’ve tried to prove that to you since you shared your story with me.”
She hugged herself tighter. Locking her heart down tight. “Yes. I see that. But—”
He came to stand in front of her. The gurgling stream’s soothing song only played the tension that was suddenly between them. How could she have even thought she could trust a man who had been with so many women?
“I’m trying to change. I have changed. I haven’t dated...for about a year. I’m working at not just jumping in—I’ve committed to the Lord not to be that man anymore.”
But how could she trust that this was true? Lucy’s mind filled with the deceit that Tim had pulled off and she’d never even suspected.
Staring at Rowdy, she didn’t think this could get any worse. But she was wrong....
“You need to know the rest of my story, too,” he said, glancing at his boots before meeting her eyes. “I got in trouble about ten months ago when I got mixed up with a married woman—”
Lucy gasped. “A married woman.”
“I didn’t know.”
“How could you not know?” Contempt rang in her words at his excuse. Lucy couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“I didn’t know her well enough before I— Well, you know. Before I got involved.”
Completely disgusted, she spun toward Cupcake. She wanted out of here. Away from him, and if that meant getting back on that horse then so be it. She’d walk away if she had to she was so mad at him.
“Lucy, I’m changed. I am.”
She glared over her shoulder at him. “Ha! You kissed me before.”
“Yeah, I know. But—”
“Nope, can’t do it.” Cupcake looked up from where she’d moved and was now eating grass, but didn’t spook as Lucy took the reins in her hand. She stretched to reach up and grab the saddle horn, but Cupcake was too tall for her to do it on her own.
“Hey,” Rowdy snapped, coming to stand beside her. “I’m trying to talk to you. To tell you that I’m trying to change. That I’m working at not just jumping in—”
Lucy swung around and jammed a finger in his chest. “Do you even have any compassion for the spouse? For what you put him through?”
“Yeah, even after he busted my nose I felt bad for the guy. But that didn’t change anything. And until he showed up, I was clueless.”
“Yeah, well, clueless hits both parties and it’s not a good feeling.”
“Look, I know I’m a jerk. I’m sorry it happened to you but I don’t date married women.”
“How do you know? If you didn’t even take the time to get to know your, your lady friends, then how do you know this was the only one? And besides, I’m sure that excuse made the husband feel okay about the whole incident.” She felt tears leak from the edge of her eyes and brushed them away. He looked defeated suddenly and she hardened her heart as he raked his hands through his hair.
“You have a point,” he said quietly. “I’ll help you up and take you home.”
She nodded in agreement, so ready to be gone. Swiping at her face with her fingertips, she turned toward the horse and let Rowdy lift her up so that she could get her foot in the stirrup.
“I can make it back on my own,” she said, and turning Cupcake around, they were off at a slow pace. No bees were in sight.
It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. She was so numb she wouldn’t have felt them even if they’d swarmed her.
* * *
Rowdy just stood there and watched Lucy ride away.
Telling her the truth had been a really bad idea. Worst idea of the decade—aside from his involvement with Liz.
He’d known he was doomed the moment the confession came out of his mouth. But regardless of the churning in his gut, he’d known that he had to come clean. And despite the look of accusation that had crept into Lucy’s eyes, he’d forced himself to be honest even as he realized it was going to cost him all of Lucy’s respect.
It hit him that she probably felt as foolish as he had when she’d learned that her husband hadn’t been faithful.
Her tears glistening on her long, dark lashes had finished him off, making him feel every bit the dirt-bag that he was.
Lucy was better off without him. As she disappeared over the ridge, he knew she deserved so much more than him.
Truth was, if they hadn’t had this conversation—or attempted to have this conversation—he might have continued to let himself believe that she could actually have been the one he was waiting on.
Suddenly bone weary, Rowdy walked over and stared at the creek. And he started praying.
Chapter Fifteen
Rowdy McDermott was a womanizer just like Tim had been.
Men could not be trusted.
Oh, they were fine if you just didn’t get personal with them. And she’d already gotten far too personal with Rowdy. She’d planned all along to keep him at arm’s length, but the man had forced himself into this new life. That was the thing that really had her angry.
It wasn’t as if she’d asked him to come around.
No, he’d manipulated her. Toyed with her.
Her worst mistakes seemed destined to repeat themselves on an endless loop.
She was thankful that the ranch appeared deserted when she got back to the bar
n. Walter Pepper called, “Hello,” from the end of the barn when she rode in. Thankfully he seemed busy with a horse. He told her to just tie Cupcake to the stall and he’d take care of her.
Since Lucy had no idea what to do to take care of the horse anyway, she gladly agreed and ran to her truck. She couldn’t get home soon enough.
Painting was the answer—she needed to work, needed the release painting had always been for her up until the aftermath of Tim’s betrayal and the fire had stolen it from her. Thank goodness the studio was almost done. Thank goodness she had a renewed passion for the work and the release it offered her.
Whether she was painting anything saleable didn’t matter—she was as mad as she’d ever been.
Where had all these problems come from? She’d arrived here with one goal—to get rid of the anger eating up inside. The wall destruction had helped, or so she’d thought. But she knew now that it had only been a temporary fix. The anger was like a living thing eating away inside of her. Hearing Rowdy confess that he, too, was a womanizing fool had relit that fire to a blazing inferno.
Men!
Of course, she knew infidelity wasn’t completely limited to men. Women had the same dysfunction. Her mother had proved that—over and over.
Her dad had moved on. He was extremely happy with his new wife and Lucy was happy for him. He deserved to be happy. Still, what her mother had put them through had ended Lucy’s childhood.
She was so thankful she and Tim hadn’t had children.
At least there was that.
Pulling her paint box from the storage box, she saw the picture album beneath it.
Lucy hadn’t realized she’d packed it. She just stared at it in the bottom of the box. Her fingers trembled as she lifted it out. She knew what was inside. Pictures of the lie she’d lived.
If the burn pile had been going, she’d have walked straight out the door and tossed the album in the fire.
Instead, she sat it against the wall. She was moving forward, not back. And pictures of her and Tim had no place in her future. Whatever good times they’d had were wiped away the day his “female friend” had walked into her room at the burn center and spilled her story.
Funny, Lucy thought it was supposed to be the victim who took revenge. But it had been the opposite way in her story.
Of course in Rowdy’s story, it was as it should be. The spouse got the lick in—or she should say the fist.
Good for that guy.
* * *
“What’s gotten into you?” his dad asked a few days after he and Lucy had had their fight. They were separating calves out to take to the cattle sale and his dad had decided that today would be a good day to get out of the office. Rowdy had a feeling it was to look over his shoulder. His next statement proved him right.
“You’ve been hard to live with and work with the past few days, so the men have said. What’s bothering you?”
Yeah, he was ornery. That was for certain.
Why had he agreed to help Lucy milk a wild heifer?
After they’d parted ways, she’d shown back up for practice because the rodeo was coming up and she was determined to keep her end of the bargain.
“The stubborn woman wants to milk the wild heifer. And I’m afraid she’s going to get hurt.”
Randolph moved with his horse as it danced to stop a calf from escaping back to the group of cattle they’d just taken it from.
“You’ll take care of her. The guys will control the calf.”
Rowdy scowled and his dad laughed.
“You and I both know those cows we put in there aren’t range heifers. They are going to be more scared than wild. Wes, Tony and Joseph will have no trouble.”
Rowdy stared out across the pasture. His dad was right, but he still didn’t like it.
“How deep are you in?”
At his dad’s question, Rowdy met his gaze. There was concern etched in the creases around his eyes.
“Deep.” There was no use denying what he knew his dad could see. He was in love with Lucy Calvert.
A smile flashed across Randolph’s face. “Lucy’s a good match for you. Your mother would be pleased.”
His heart tightened as he thought about his mother—of all the years he’d longed to make her proud of him. He took a deep breath and held his father’s gaze. “It’s not that simple. Let’s get these in the pen and then I’ll tell you about it.”
They worked with Chet, their top hand, and the other ranch hands getting the calves into the holding pen. When they were done, Rowdy and his dad loaded their horses up in the trailer and then rode back in the truck together.
“So what’s really got you twisted in knots?”
Rowdy raked his hand through his hair and let out a breath before confiding Lucy’s background. It wasn’t his story to tell, but his father was a man of great integrity.
“You’re not going to just walk away from this?” Randolph asked when he was done.
“I don’t want to, but Lucy has already been through enough. She doesn’t need me and my messed-up background reminding her of what her no-good husband did to her. The man took away her ability to trust. If she stays like she is, she could end up alone for the rest of her life.”
“I’m alone and managing fine. But I’m twentysomething years older than she is, I figure. So I’d hate to see that happen. Are you going to let it happen?”
“What can I do?”
“You can help her learn to trust again. You can start by being there for her.”
“She’s barely speaking to me now.”
“Then what do you have to lose? If you’re serious about this new walk with the Lord, then you have to do this because of the man you’ve become. Not the man you were. You made a mistake. The difference is you’ve changed and are holding yourself accountable for your actions now. That’s all you can do other than keep proving yourself trustworthy.”
* * *
“You’re sure you’re ready for this tomorrow night?” Nana asked Lucy. They were in the Spotted Cow Café or, as the men and the boys liked to call it, the Cow Patty Café because of the painted brown spots gone wrong on the concrete floor.
Lucy stared at a dancing-cow figurine sitting on the table. It was one of an abundant cow paraphernalia collection that practically hid the walls of the café, there were so many. “I think so. All I have to do is get a drop of milk. The fellas are going to take care of the cow.”
“Yeah, but who is gonna take care of you?” Edwina slapped a hand to her hip. “I’ve seen those cow-milking contests. Grown men fall underneath the animal thinking for some reason it might be easier to milk the cow lying on their back while getting stomped on.” She shook her head. “No, sister, this is not a good idea. And to think I took you for an intelligent sort the first time I saw you.”
Lucy chuckled. “Edwina, I am not going to get stomped on. Rowdy told me not to go for the bag until he gives me the go-ahead. So rest easy, I’m not getting thrown under the cow.”
Edwina made a face that clearly said she didn’t believe it, and then left to take an order from a herd of cowboys on the far side of the café.
Ms. Jo had come out of the kitchen and heard the last half of the conversation. “Ed get you straightened out?” she asked, sliding into the booth beside Nana.
“No, but she gave it a good try,” Lucy said.
The diner door was yanked opened and Mabel came hustling inside. “The Dew Drop Inn’s been busier than an ant colony today,” she declared, squeezing her large-framed body into the booth seat beside Lucy.
“With all these ranch-rodeo teams arriving, this should be a good weekend for the town.”
“Café’s been swamped, too.” Ms. Jo fanned herself. “The pie baking’s been going nonstop.”
Jolie came over fro
m the jukebox just as Blake Shelton started singing “Austin.” “I love this song. It’s an old one but just makes me think of happy endings,” she said.
Mabel had taken Jolie’s spot, so she pulled up a chair.
“Speaking of happy endings.” Mabel turned her full attention toward Lucy. Now, Mabel was a good size bigger than Lucy, and she’d effectively trapped Lucy in the booth. There was nowhere to go.
“Look, I know y’all are all hoping that something happens between Rowdy and me, but it’s not going to.”
Ms. Jo’s eyebrows squeezed together and a V formed above her glasses. “You cannot tell us you don’t like that good-looking cowboy.”
Everyone started talking at once about how right they were for each other. After they’d all quieted down, she told them her story. She couldn’t believe she’d held it in so long.
“Of all the horrible things.” Mabel’s voice was gentle as she threw an arm around Lucy and gave her a hug. “That brings back memories.”
“Tell her, Mabel,” Jolie said, and everyone echoed her.
Ms. Jo gave Mabel a nod. “If anyone knows how you feel, it’s Mabel. She didn’t have a fire, but she got a raw deal.”
Lucy was curious now. She knew that Mabel had never been married.
“I was in love once, a long time ago. Paul was a handsome cowboy with a smile that could turn girls’ insides to jelly. I knew better than to be foolish enough to fall for the man, but sometimes a heart will do what a heart wants to do and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Tell me about it,” Edwina said as she passed by. “I’ve done fell for three men and not a winner in the bunch.” Shaking her head, she kept right on moving toward the kitchen with a new order.
“On this I have to agree with Ed. Paul took my heart and then he decided mine wasn’t enough and so he took a few more on the side. Deception is a tough thing to overcome.” Her usual jovial good humor was gone. “After I discovered what he’d been doing, I gave him ‘what for’ every which way I could. That poor man thought his life was in danger. It was. But I decided breaking him into pieces wasn’t going to help ease my pain any, so I watched him ride away. And I can tell you losing the desire to trust another man like that is a shame.”
Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: Her Unexpected CowboyHis Ideal MatchThe Rancher's Secret Son Page 13