by Lea Coll
I flipped the stove to off, turning my full attention to her. “So beautiful.”
“You are too.” Her hands moved to the bottom of my shirt, tugging it over my head. Her fingers traced my abdominal muscles down to my waistband. She bit her lip, looking up at me under her eyelashes. “May I?”
“Yes.” I wanted to say she didn’t have to ask. I’d give her whatever she wanted, but I couldn’t form any words.
She leaned over, placing light kisses on my torso, then down as she pushed me back, hopping off the counter while unbuckling my pants, tugging them down until I stood in my boxer briefs.
“Do you want to take this to—” Your bedroom. The couch. My cock throbbed with the desire to have her naked.
Her fingers slid beneath the band of my briefs, pulling them down as she slid to her knees. I kicked my briefs out of the way, intending to haul her up even as my fingers tangled in her hair.
She looked up at me, her eyes sultry, her grip firm. She licked the head before taking me in her mouth. My head dropped back, my eyes closing at the incredible feel of her hot mouth on me. Logically, I knew I should be pleasuring her, but I couldn’t form a complete thought, much less stop what she was doing.
“Dylan. Please—”
She didn’t answer, renewing her efforts, pumping me harder than before, sucking me in deeper until my cock hit the back of her throat. I groaned at the sensation, wanting to let go, to see her swallow my cum. My fingers flexed in her hair as I struggled to regain control, wanting to be inside her.
“Fuck.”
She increased the pressure of her hand, sucking harder.
Shaking my head, I said, “No. You have to—stop. Please.”
I untangled my fingers from her hair, gripping her shoulders, pulling her to stand. She smirked.
“That’s not how tonight’s going to end.” I grabbed the condom I kept in my wallet.
“Upstairs. Last door on the right.” I lifted her in my arms, conscious that I was naked, she was still dressed. I ignored any thoughts of how I should be baring myself in other ways.
I focused on getting her upstairs without hurting her while she was kissing my neck, her hands on my shoulders as she tightened her legs around my waist, rubbing against my hard cock. I kicked open her door, wanting her to be naked, to be inside her slick heat. I lowered her to the bed, throwing the condom as I followed her down, still kissing her.
Her hands found my ass, kneading, pulling me closer. The desire to touch her, taste her, overruling everything else.
I ripped my mouth away from hers. “Take off your shirt.”
I closed my eyes briefly at my mistake, the r coming out like a w, the word shaky. Opening my eyes, I hoped she hadn’t noticed.
Her lips were swollen, her eyes dark with need, her movements jerky as her shirt flew over her head. Her breasts more than filled her bra. I wanted to savor this moment, the first time we’d be together. I pulled the cups down. Her tits popped out. My mouth watered at the sight of her pink nipples. I latched onto one then the other, sucking until they were hard nubs. Her fingers held me to her even as I worried she’d push me away because of what I’d just revealed.
I kissed down her stomach as she struggled to remove her jeans. I pushed her hands out of the way, easily unbuttoning them, then pulling them off, kneeling between her legs. I gestured at her bra, afraid to say the word. “Off.”
She reached behind, unclasping it, throwing it to the side. I kept my gaze on her, slowing things down as I kissed the inside of each thigh, placing a light kiss on her clit, before finally licking her slit. I kept my touch light, wanting to drive her crazy like she had done to me in the kitchen. Moaning, she dropped back on the bed, her thighs quivering. I wanted her to watch but I was done talking. I wanted to show her how I felt, what she did to me. I put every emotion I felt for her since the day we met into every pass of my tongue. Her hips jerked as she tried to get closer to my mouth.
I added my finger, wanting her to forget everything except for the pleasure I gave her.
Her body tensed as I pumped inside her, lowering my mouth to her clit, sucking hard. She moaned, arching up off the bed, tensing before clenching around my finger. She was so sweet, so responsive.
I loved her and she knew nothing about me.
Nothing that mattered anyway. I shook off the melancholy, choosing to revel in the feelings I had for this impossibly beautiful woman who was also sweet and caring. I grabbed the condom, sitting back on my haunches as I ripped the wrapper off.
Her warm hands covered mine. “Let me.”
She smoothed the condom down my cock, her hair shielding her face. When it was on, she looked up at me. Brushing her hair back from her face I kissed her, putting everything into it, pushing her back gently until she was on her back, my cock nestled at her entrance.
Every muscle in my body tensed as I fought for control, gliding between her folds.
Her fingers stroked down my back, the sting of her nails adding to the sensation. “You feel so good.”
I hummed in response, too preoccupied to attempt words. Instead, I sucked on her tits until she was writhing under me, begging for more. I finally slipped inside, her tight channel surrounding me as I paused, muscles straining, to make sure she was okay.
“More, Reid.”
I slid all the way in, her tight walls closing around me. Wanting to be closer, I interlaced my fingers with hers on either side of her head, kissing her. I shut everything out, the doubt, the worries, the what ifs until it was just us.
When the familiar tingle began at the base of my spine, I let go of her hand, circling her clit, wanting her to come again. Her breathing came in short pants as she went over again, calling my name. The clenching of her pussy set off an orgasm, bigger than any I’d ever felt before, barreling through my body. I pumped harder before collapsing on top of her, groaning my release into her shoulder.
My head swam with unexpressed emotions, elation, love, desire for more, shame I couldn’t be myself with her.
She stroked the back of my hair, kissing my shoulder, my cheek before I rolled slightly off her. “I need to—”
“My bathroom’s right there.”
I nodded, getting off the bed to dispose of the condom. I closed the door, throwing cool water on my face before toweling off.
Watching every word I said in bed was exhausting. I rarely got this close to another woman. The odds of screwing up were high. Not saying a word during sex was the easiest solution. It was difficult in the moment.
I opened the door, nervous she’d confront me about my speech. She’d pulled down the covers, laying underneath. I wanted to see her naked. I wanted to stay in bed with her, never getting out.
She lifted the covers when I got close, inviting me in.
Relief flooded my system as I slid underneath, wrapping my arms around her, nuzzling my face in her neck. “I don’t want to leave.”
“Me neither. I should put the food in the fridge.”
“Not yet.”
I closed my eyes, letting the exhaustion take over, drifting to sleep. When I woke the other side of the bed was cold. Seeing the time, I groaned. I hadn’t meant to sleep that long. I wanted to spend time with her. I searched the house for her, remembering I’d left my pants in the kitchen.
I found her reading on the couch in sweatpants and a T-shirt. She looked adorably rumpled, well-loved.
Seeing me, she came to me, wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me down to kiss her. “I like seeing you naked in my house.”
I smiled against her skin, wondering if she’d be understanding about my speech issues.
“Are you hungry?” She pulled away, her face relaxed and happy.
“Yes.” I was hungry but I wasn’t sure I could eat until we talked. I needed to tell her everything I’d held inside.
She dropped her arms, taking her warmth with her. “Let me heat it up.”
I couldn’t read her, whether she’d noticed my slip or not.
My stomach knotted. I had to tell her. I didn’t want to be on guard all the time. She deserved to know. It would be easier when I didn’t worry about each word that left my mouth. I could be myself. I ignored the thought that she might walk away or decide it was too much for her.
Dylan pulled the food out of the fridge, plating it before heating it in the microwave while I pulled on my pants, sitting on a stool at her counter.
My heart pounded in my ears. “We need to talk.”
She turned, her forehead wrinkled. “About what?”
“I need to tell you something.” I felt slightly nauseas as I held my hand out to her, drawing her close.
“Okay.” She drew out the word, her brow furrowed.
I wanted to pull her into my lap. I wasn’t sure she’d want that after she heard what I had to say. “I haven’t told you...”
She tilted her head, looking up at me. “Tell me Reid. You’re scaring me.”
I took a deep breath, knowing after I’d said what I needed to say, nothing would be the same. I was revealing my innermost secret, my greatest shame. I was laying myself open for her to accept me or reject me like my father had. “I have a speech impediment. Not all, but most of my r’s come out sounding like w’s. I avoid saying words with the letter r.”
I waited for her reaction to my admission. I’d purposely used a word that would highlight my deficiency wanting her to understand she was dating a man who couldn’t enunciate letters correctly.
The old familiar shame washed over me, making me feel like I needed to leave, to run as fast as I could back to the safety of my condo where there was no one to judge me.
“Is that what this is about?” The microwave beeped. She ignored it, stepping between my legs, wrapping her arms around my waist, laying her head on my chest.
“You don’t care?” I breathed into her hair, unable to eliminate the skepticism from my voice, holding my body stiff.
“Of course not. I suspected after last night. I just—” she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m happy you told me.”
I tucked her hair behind her ear, confused she’d so readily accepted me. I searched her face for any sign of insincerity. There was none. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was love on her face, love for me. The feeling was overwhelming, so all-encompassing I couldn’t speak around the tightness in my throat.
She waited patiently for me to regain my composure, her finger stroking the back of my hand where she held it.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ve never told anyone. Callie guessed.”
“What about your family? Surely they know.” Her eyes were focused, hard as if she’d go to battle for me if she needed to.
“They do. You’re the only one I’ve felt comfortable telling. I’m used to avoiding certain words especially when I’m tired. I avoid alcohol. I don’t speak in public if I can help it. I’m good at hiding it. With you, it’s hard because I drop my guard.”
Her mouth dropped open slightly as if she just realized something. “You never had speech therapy?”
“No.” My face felt rigid.
“Why not?”
Could I tell her everything? What I’d never told anyone before? She’d reacted better than expected to my speech impediment. I wanted her to understand, to know everything. I never wanted her to know what my father had said about me.
“I didn’t qualify for services. My mom couldn’t afford private therapy. I didn’t want her to feel bad, so I learned quickly to avoid saying the letter r. I became an expert at hiding it, even avoiding saying my name if I could. After my father left, she had enough to worry about with my sisters being so young, much younger than me.”
She caressed my face, bringing my attention back to her. “You became the man of the house, you took on what you could to ease her burden.”
“Yes.” I wanted to ask how she knew, but she had this inane ability to see me, all the things that made up me, the good, the bad, the redeemable.
“I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t be yourself.”
That was the core of it. I was hiding myself, had been for what seemed like forever. Relief flooded my brain, making my limbs weak. I pulled her into me, tucking her into my chest. This woman was precious. How did I get so lucky?
I wanted to tell her I loved her even though it wasn’t the time, not when I’d just revealed so much to her. She needed time to process it, to decide if she could really be with me. Even if she thought it was okay now, she might change her mind.
“Thank you for telling me. I can’t think of a greater gift anyone’s ever given me.”
Something dislodged in my chest at her words, rattling around before dissolving, easing the tightness in my chest. “Thank you for understanding, for being here for me.” For being you.
It struck me then that she’d heard my slipups but didn’t acknowledge them. She hadn’t left, she hadn’t ridiculed me, she’d wanted me to tell her.
“I don’t want anyone else to know.” As amazing as her reaction was, I still didn’t trust others.
She looked up at me, uncertainty filling her blue eyes. “Are you sure? I thought you hated hiding it.”
“No good will come from revealing it. People will say things, they’ll speculate it’s a cover for drug use, addiction, or a cry for attention.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “I don’t think people would think that.”
I wanted to lighten the mood, erase the shame thinking about my speech issues brought on. This night should be special. I wanted her to look back on it with fondness, not pity. “Let’s eat. Then I have plans for you.”
Her face smoothed out and her shoulders lowered. “Can you stay the night?”
Happiness filled me that she wanted me to stay. I didn’t have to worry about each word I said. I could relax. “I can. I have to leave early in the morning to get back for my workout.”
“Thank you.” She eased impossibly closer, wrapping her arms around me, filling every nook and cranny of my heart.
“For what?” I murmured into her hair, breathing in her scent, wanting to stay in this moment forever, hiding from the world, reveling in her.
“For staying, for telling me, for being the man I thought you were.”
For being the man I thought you were. The idea that hiding my secret made me less of a man settled in deep. Was that true? I knew I was scared to come forward, but did it make me a coward? Should I have told her what my father said, why I was so reluctant for anyone to know? Saying his words aloud made them real.
I pushed out any negative thoughts, wanting to get lost in the person she saw when she looked at me.
She eased away, pulling the plate out of the microwave, setting it on the counter. We ate off the same plate, feeding each other pieces of seafood.
After we finished, we cleared the dishes, then she led me upstairs. She laid down on the bed, showing me where she had an unopened box of condoms in her nightstand drawer.
She smiled. “I hadn’t expected anything to happen. I hoped.”
“Me too. I’m glad you were prepared.” I took off her clothes, worshiping her body. Every touch, every kiss was a thank you for accepting all of me.
When I finally slid inside her, she was so wet, slick with desire, I savored the feeling that she was mine. After, we fell asleep without talking. I woke her once, grabbing another condom, thanking her for being so thoughtful, then slid into her from behind, her gasps and moans guiding me, her body luminescent in the moonlight filtering through her window. I wanted to show her how I felt.
I knew I’d be exhausted at practice tomorrow, but she was worth it.
This woman was everything. She was everything good and light in this world. I wanted to hold on tight, never letting go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
DYLAN
Reid left early in the morning, waking me only to kiss me. He’d whispered sweet things in my ear, how beautiful I was, how much he enjoyed last night and would miss me today. I’d been so cl
ose to telling him everything, how I thought I was falling for him, but it was so much more. I loved him. I wanted him to know how I felt, everything there was to know about me, but something held me back.
I stretched, my fingers gliding over the now cool sheets, his scent lingering, remembering everything from last night, his touch, his kiss, how I felt loved even without the words.
I loved that he confided in me. I hated that he felt the need to hide who he was. I wanted the best for him. Hiding who you were couldn’t be good. It had to wear on his soul. I couldn’t imagine censoring everything that came out of my mouth. When he told me the truth, my heart broke for him.
I wanted him to be able to tell everyone, his family, his friends, his teammates. I had this burning desire for the world to see who he was, amazing to his core.
“How’s Kids Speak in the city?” Hadley asked at our Champagne Friday meeting.
“Great. All of the programs commenced.”
“Are you able to start picking up more cases now?” Avery asked.
She was the office manager who kept track of our calendars.
“I think so. I’d like to be free in the afternoons in case I need to stop in at one of the schools.”
Hadley made a note on her legal pad. “That’s fair. So, she can handle any hearings and district court trials in the mornings. We’ll handle circuit court and afternoon cases.”
I took a bite of pad thai, hoping that we were done with the business side of the evening. I was bursting to talk about Reid.
“How are things going with Reid?” Hadley sipped her wine.
I finished chewing before answering. “We had a picnic in the stadium under the stars.”
Avery touched her chest. “That sounds so romantic.”
Hadley leaned in closer. “I can’t believe you were on the field. Was it as amazing as it sounds?”
“It was surreal to be there. I felt so tiny. I can’t imagine playing with all of those people watching.” It made me realize how brave Reid was. He had no idea. He judged himself based on whether he could speak in front of people when he played in front of seventy thousand people. If he could do that there was nothing he couldn’t do.