by Lea Coll
“Callie.” I couldn’t clear the anguish from my voice, the disappointment, the realization that everything good in my life didn’t exist after all.
“What happened? You sound upset.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Dylan wants me to be the spokesman for Kids Speak.”
I bit the words out. They were distasteful in my mouth.
“Ah.” Her tone was knowing.
I paused, looking up, not seeing the rain splattered on the windows. “You knew?”
Callie’s sigh filled the room. “She talked to me about it. You know it was Lena’s idea.”
My heart pinched. A part of me wanted to believe Dylan wasn’t behind it even though she’d specifically requested me for the blind date. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t it?”
I considered her comment, wondering if Lena had told me first if I’d feel differently about it. I wasn’t sure. “Why did Dylan talk to you before coming to me?”
“What happened when she told you?” Her pointed question hung in the air.
“It didn’t—” I swallowed down pain that threatened to erupt. “It didn’t go well.”
“Did you throw her out, break up with her, tell her she was using you?”
I cleared my throat, not liking how it sounded coming from her. “I told her to leave.”
“I warned her.” Callie groaned in frustration. “I don’t see what option she had.”
Frustration burst from me with the force of my words. “She could have said no. She could have stood up for me.”
“Did you ask if she did? You know how Lena is, she holds the power in these situations. The only person who has any say is Coach Ackerman. That’s only if it interferes with practice and games.”
“No.” I clenched my teeth. I hadn’t asked many questions I didn’t already think I knew the answer to.
“Reid. You finally let someone in. Yet you’re so quick to dismiss her. To assume she doesn’t want the best for you.”
I searched my memory for the moment Dylan admitted she singled me out, requesting me for the blind date. I let my body feed on that anger like a balloon filling with helium. “Did you know she looked into me before we ever met? That she requested me for the blind date. She probably suspected I had a speech impediment. It was her goal all along to make me the spokesperson.”
Callie was quiet for a few seconds. “I didn’t know that. What I do know is that Dylan was worried about your reaction. Even if she had an ulterior motive when you met, I think her feelings were real. She cares about you. She loves you. She told me.”
I curled my fingers tightly around the phone, focusing on the anger, the frustration, the betrayal.
Callie let out a breath. “You fucked up. I knew you would.”
“You know you work for me, right? A little respect would be nice.”
“I think we’re more than boss-employee at this point. We’re friends. I’ve known about your speech impediment for a long time. I’ve told you I think you should talk to someone, that you should come out to the fans.”
“It’s easy for you to say. You’re perfect on the outside. You don’t have a deficiency people would pick apart.”
Callie was quiet for so long, I thought she’d hung up. “Not all of us have flaws on the outside, sometimes they’re on the inside where it’s harder to see. They still exist.”
A chill ran through me at her words. I wanted to ask if she was talking about herself. I couldn’t. I was too wrapped up in myself. I closed my eyes, allowing the pain of Dylan’s admission, the closing of my condo door, wrap around my heart, squeezing out any bit of softness that remained.
“You didn’t know each other on that blind date. There was more to her than you thought. Enough that you let her in, more than anyone else.”
“I did let her in. I loved her.” The realization that I’d loved and lost tore through me like a tornado over flat terrain. There was nothing stopping the utter destruction.
“Reid—” Her voice broke. “Go after her. Tell her how you feel, that you’re scared, you’re bound to screw up. Together you’ll figure it out.”
It sounded so easy. Get in my car, follow her to Annapolis, but I couldn’t. At the end of the day, I didn’t deserve Dylan any more than I deserved a father who would stick around. It was better she left now. She wanted too much. She expected too much of me when I had nothing to give. I’d been like this for so long, the odds of me changing, of being a different person are slim to none.
“Reid, think about it. Dylan was good for you. She forced you to volunteer with Kids Speak and you enjoy it. You love working with that little boy. You’re doing so much good.”
It satisfied a need deep in my soul. A need to right the wrongs of my past. To help another child in need. One who could be left behind like me.
She sighed. “I love you, Reid, but you’re stubborn. I hope you change your mind. I’m here to help if you do.”
I couldn’t say anything because I wasn’t ready to acknowledge she might be right. I wanted to hold on to my anger.
“Good night, Reid.” She hung up.
I’d screwed up. I wasn’t sure I wanted to make it right. It was easier to wallow, to assume I wasn’t deserving of her anyway.
Our argument replayed in my head, circling like a merry-go-round until I lay on the couch, throwing my arm over my eyes, hoping the ride would stop.
Pounding on the door woke me. I sat up, disoriented. I grabbed my phone. Scrolling through, there were a couple missed calls from Callie.
Annoyed Callie wouldn’t let this thing with Dylan go, I pulled open the door prepared to tell her to mind her own business.
Callie stood there, tears running down her cheeks, her shoulders slumped.
I reached for her, the anger leaving my body so quickly I felt weak. “Callie? What is it? Is it Frank? Is he okay?”
She pushed me away. “We have to go.”
Her voice was strained, her hands were shaking.
“Where? I don’t understand.” I grabbed my keys prepared to drive to Frank’s.
“Dylan was in an accident. She’s at the hospital. We have to go. I tried calling…”
“Dylan? What are you talking about? I thought—it was—Frank? An accident?” My brain was fuzzy, my tongue thick.
Callie grabbed my hand, tugging me hard. “Dylan was in an accident. We have to go.”
“I was asleep. My phone was on vibrate.” I felt rooted to the spot, unable to process what she was saying, what I needed to do.
She grabbed my keys from my hand. “Let’s go.”
I let her drag me out the door. In the elevator, I scrolled through my phone, seeing a voicemail from Dylan. I don’t think she’d ever left a voicemail.
I hit play, wanting to hear her voice, needing to know she was okay. I startled when an older man’s voice came over the line.
My eyes met Callie’s.
“Dylan was in an accident. They’re taking her by ambulance to the hospital. She was—” his voice broke, “coming to see us. My wife fell down the steps. It was raining. Someone changed lanes—I’m not sure.”
I closed my eyes against the pain. It was my fault. I’d sent her away. She was upset about our argument, driving in this rain.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Callie’s voice tried to break through the thoughts running through my head.
The elevator door opened. More focused, I headed straight toward my SUV. I should have been there for her. If I’d been driving none of this would have happened. I got in the passenger side of my SUV. “Are you okay to drive?”
She pulled on her seat belt, gesturing at me. “I’m in better shape than you.”
She’d visibly pulled herself together since she’d knocked on my door. Guilt, shame, regret were flowing through my body fueling my desire to get to Dylan. “We need to get there.”
I wanted to urge her to go faster, but I didn’t want to be responsible for someone else getting hurt.
/> Callie backed out of my spot. “We will. Don’t worry.”
I gripped the edge of my seat, anchoring myself so I wouldn’t drift away on the guilt, spiral from the shame.
Once we were on the highway, I asked, “How did you know?”
“Hadley called me. Dylan’s father contacted her after he tried to get in touch with you.”
Guilt pressed down harder on my chest threatening to suffocate me. “What hospital is she at?
“She wasn’t far from Anne Arundel Medical Center when it happened, so they took her there.”
I couldn’t speak anymore. My throat was too tight. How badly was she injured? Would I be able to see her? What will I say to her when I see her?
“She’ll be alright.” Callie’s voice filled the interior of my SUV, soft and comforting.
She couldn’t know that.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Wasn’t it? She was upset with me.”
“Her dad told me he messaged her saying her mother fell down the steps. They were on their way to the hospital. He feels responsible.” She shook her head. “He was—you should have heard him. He said he always counted on her. Dylan’s accident shook him.”
“I should have been there. I would have driven. She wouldn’t have gotten in an accident.”
“You can’t know that.”
I stopped arguing. I didn’t want to talk anymore. My fingers were curled into fists on my thighs. I had to see her. I needed to know she was alright. The possible scenarios ran through my head, one worse than the other. I wouldn’t relax until I could see her face.
Callie parked the car in the emergency lot. I ran inside without waiting for her. I gave Dylan’s name at the emergency desk. They directed me to the waiting room.
“Only family can go back,” I said to Callie when she hurried toward me, looking like I felt, shell-shocked.
“Is anyone with her? Her parents were here already when she got into the accident. She’s probably alone.”
“I’ll let them know. Maybe they can ask for her permission to let me in to see her.”
Callie stayed by my side as I spoke to the person at the desk again. He must have seen something desperate on my face because he said he’d find out. I wasn’t even thinking about being careful of the words I was using. I probably sounded like an idiot.
When he returned, he looked from me to Callie. “Just one of you.”
“I’m her boyfriend. I’ll go.” I wasn’t sure I was anymore. All that mattered was I loved her.
I followed him to a small room with the door ajar. “She’s waiting for the doctor.”
When he left, I pushed open the door to find Dylan looking small and pale in the bed, a bandage around her forehead.
Shock at seeing her so helpless made me pause before I rushed to her side, grabbing her cool hand in mine. It felt so delicate, fragile. “Dylan.”
Her eyes popped open, wincing at the light or from the pain, I wasn’t sure. “Reid?” Her voice sounded dry, scratchy. “They said you were here.”
I moved to her side, covering her hand with mine. “Are you okay?”
She swallowed. “Can I have something to drink?”
Frantic, I looked around for something, finding a cup with a straw on the side table. I let go of her hand, grabbing the cup, before sitting on the side of the bed. Helping her to sit up, I held the straw to her lips.
When she was done, I held the cup.
“What hurts?”
“Everything. My head, my side, my knee, and my hands. I’ll be okay. I’m fine.”
She wasn’t fine but I had no plans to leave her side today or in the future. “I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes narrowed on me. “It’s not your fault.”
The heavy weight of responsibility on my chest said otherwise. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you got the call.”
She touched her temple as if she was in pain. “You’re not always going to be there.”
“I want to.” I wanted to be the one who protected her, was there for her, who erased her pain. The thought of the outcome being different, of her being more seriously injured churned in my gut.
Her eyes shifted away.
It wasn’t the time, but I needed to tell her I’d overreacted. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”
“Reid. It’s fine.” Her voice was resigned.
I wanted to argue with her. I couldn’t. Not after she’d been in an accident. Not when she looked so pale, so defeated.
“I need to focus on my parents. You have your job.”
Before I could say the only thing I should be focusing on was her, the doctor walked in, asking me to leave while he examined her. The nurse came out a few minutes later saying she’d been taken for tests on her neck and back. I could wait in the waiting room or come back later.
I went to find Callie.
She straightened when she saw me. “How is she?”
“She’s in pain. Although, it didn’t sound like anything was broken. She’s undergoing tests now.”
“I tried to find out how her mother is. They wouldn’t tell me anything. Your best bet is to call her father back, give him an update on Dylan, see if he’ll tell you.”
I nodded. “You’re right.”
I called her dad, telling him where we were, asking if he’d give me an update. He said he would once she was examined. It was the longest few hours of my life. I’d seen her. She looked okay, but there could be internal injuries, a concussion. I couldn’t stop my mind from racing from one worst-case scenario to another.
Finally, an older gentleman came out of the exam area, his wool jacket open over a sweatshirt, his sandy blond hair so much like Dylan’s was disheveled, his eyes bloodshot as he searched the room.
I stood, hoping it was Dylan’s father. I approached him, not bothering with the pretense of trying to hide my speech impediment. “Mr. Gannon?”
He nodded in relief, his gaze sliding from me to Callie. “That’s me.”
“This is my assistant, Callie.”
Mr. Gannon nodded at her, not offering his hand. He looked broken.
“I’m so sorry. About your wife and Dylan.”
“It’s okay. They’re both going to be okay.” He said it as if he was reassuring himself as much as me.
“Her mother had some bumps and bruises. The worst of her injuries was a strained wrist. She was still—” He swallowed hard, his eyes jumping around nervously.
“It’s okay. Dylan told me about your wife’s condition.” I wasn’t sure if Dylan would be happy I told him. He seemed like he needed to talk to someone about it.
“Oh. I didn’t know.” He was quiet for a few seconds as if he wasn’t sure if he could confide in me or not. Finally, he continued, “She was having mobility issues due to MS, so that’s her biggest challenge.”
Mr. Gannon seemed overwhelmed as if he could only handle one injured family member at a time, his wife.
“Maybe it would be good to hire a part-time nurse until she’s feeling better.” I hoped he’d take my suggestion.
“You might be right about that. Dylan’s injuries aren’t serious, just a slight concussion, bruising, and whiplash.”
I knew she’d be taking care of her mother before she was fully healed.
“I’ll take care of her so you can focus on your wife.”
Mr. Gannon focused on me fully for the first time. “Okay. Yeah, that would be good. Thank you.”
He didn’t seem to notice that my speech was off. Dylan already knew who I was. There was no point in hiding from her parents. I hoped Mr. Gannon would consider more help in the future. Not only was it not fair for Dylan to shoulder the burden it wasn’t fair for him either.
“I’ll make sure the doctors know you can stay with her.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I wanted to apologize for the accident, tell him it was all my fault, but it wasn’t the time or place. He was dealing with his own guilt.
I stayed with Dylan in the hospital until she was finally discharged. “I can drive you wherever you want to go.”
“I’m going home to my parents’ house. I want to be close by. My mother needs me.”
I wanted to argue, to tell her she needed to rest, she needed to focus on her own health. I couldn’t form the words. I’d lost the right to make demands, to be the one she turned to. I regretted telling her to get out, to leave before I’d calmed down.
I wheeled her outside, pulling Callie to the side, asking her to take her time getting the car so I had time to talk to Dylan.
I activated the brake on the wheelchair then crouched down in front of her. “I think you should think about coming with me for a few days until you feel better.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but I held up my hand to stop her. “Hear me out. You can’t help your mother if you’re hurt. It seems like your father is easily overwhelmed.”
My tactics were a bit manipulative because I wanted her to take care of herself. I wanted to take care of her.
She gestured at herself. “This was bad timing. I need to be there for them. I can’t be hurt.”
“Hey. They can take care of themselves. I told your father it would be a good idea to hire a nurse.” Frankly, it was something they needed to look into in general. If her mobility continued to decrease, they couldn’t depend on Dylan as much as they had in the past. I knew she felt responsible, but it wasn’t her role to be her primary caretaker.
“Okay.”
My heart soared. “You’ll come home with me?”
“Just for a few days. When I feel better, I’ll head home to help out.”
I touched her knee, the tension in my shoulders easing. I wasn’t there for her earlier this evening. I was now. I’d have time to fix what I’d screwed up earlier.
Chapter Thirty-Five
REID
Callie drove us home. I ensured Dylan was comfortable and sleeping before I left Lena a message letting her know what happened. I told her I’d speak to her in a few days when Dylan was feeling better. I had a few things to take care of before I spoke with her.
The way I felt after Dylan left my condo, the sheer terror, then panic when Callie told me she’d been in an accident put things in perspective for me. I climbed into bed wanting to pull Dylan into my arms but worried I’d hurt her. Instead, I moved as close to her as I could get, resting my hand on her hip. I breathed in her scent, letting her warmth fill me.