by Jill Sanders
“She was everything I wanted to be.” She blinked and he felt her hands run up his back slowly. His fingers tightened on her shoulders lightly. “She had you and she threw you away.”
When she reached up on her toes and moved towards him, he didn’t stop her. Instead, he held his breath as her lips brushed against his softly.
If he’d been hit by a bolt of lightning, he wouldn’t have felt as shocked as he did the moment her skin touched his. Power flew through his skin, causing every cell of his body to vibrate.
His fingers tightened even more on her skin as he pulled her closer. She seemed to melt against him. Her hands gripped his shirt, holding him in place as they discovered one another.
His mind flashed to the thought that there was a three-year-old boy sleeping a few feet away. The thought, like a cold spray of water, caused him to take a step back.
“That was…” He shook his head.
“Crazy.” She glanced down at her feet. Using his finger to push her chin up until their eyes met, he smiled.
“Unexpected,” he finished with a smile. “I’ll walk you back over and carry CJ for you.”
After he walked the pair back across the street and carried CJ up to his own bed, he felt like he needed to say something to Kayla. The silence between them was almost deafening. She shut the adjoining door after he’d laid the kid down on one of the beds.
Before he could say anything to her, she jumped in.
“I… didn’t mean to…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She gave him a quick smile. “It was the wine. I hope you don’t think…”
He shut her up by pulling her close and covering her lips with his. His hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him.
Her kiss had been slow, soft, and sweet. His kiss had none of those things. Power, desire, and want streamed from his lips to hers, showing her exactly what her kiss had woken in him.
“There,” he said after taking a full step back from her so he wouldn’t touch her again. If he did, he knew there would be nothing that could stop him from dragging her across the room to the king-size bed waiting for them. “That should clear things up between us.” He took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind.
Kayla shook her head slowly and he thought he heard a soft chuckle from her lips.
“No, if anything, that only muddles it up more.”
“Maybe that’s what we need. A little distraction.”
She sighed. “I don’t have time…”
His chuckle stopped her. “Everyone has time for this.”
She shook her head as her hand came up to her forehead. “Not me.”
“Then we’ll make the time.” He itched to hold onto her. “Or, we’ll figure it out.”
Her eyes moved to his. “You… You aren’t hanging out with Connor to…”
He stopped her by placing his hand on her arm. “Kayla, I like the kid. With or without this.” He motioned between them. “My time with him has nothing to do with us.”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “Fair enough.”
“What day do you have off?” he asked, knowing he might be pushing her too far, too fast.
“Monday night.” Her eyes moved to the door behind him.
“I’ll see if Crystal can watch CJ.”
“Rowan, I don’t… I haven’t dated… for a while.”
He smiled. “Good, that makes two of us.” Before she had a chance to change her mind or tell him no, he leaned in and placed a slow kiss on her lips then walked out of the room while her eyes were still closed with passion.
Chapter 7
“I knew it,” Crystal said the next morning when Kayla and Connor walked into the kitchen.
“What?” she asked, wondering if what Rowan’s kiss had done to her was written on her forehead.
“You two had good days.” She smiled as she set a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and what looked like bacon on the table.
“I thought you were a vegetarian?” Kayla asked, looking down at the plate.
“Soy bacon.” She smiled. “Humans don’t know it’s not bacon.” She chuckled as she turned back towards the stove.
Kayla set Connor in his chair then moved over to the stove. “At least let me help for once.”
“Fine, you can pour the OJ.” Crystal nodded towards the fridge.
“Crystal, you seriously can’t expect me to stay here, eating all your food, letting you watch my son all day and night long, without lending a helping hand.”
“You’re a guest.” Crystal stopped moving eggs around the pan and turned to her. “This is what I live for. It fills my heart to help others. To see the changes in them.” She smiled. “Like, I bet you didn’t even realize how far you’ve come in the few days since you’ve been here.”
Kayla frowned. “How so?”
“When you first came here, you were…” Crystal took a deep breath. “Uptight. For a lack of a better word. You looked like you didn’t know where you belonged. Now, look at you.” She smiled. “You look like a woman who has suddenly figured out that she has a purpose. You’re more relaxed. Not all the way, mind you.” Crystal’s eyes ran over her and Kayla was suddenly concerned about what the other woman saw in her. “But you’re on your way to happiness.”
“How do you do that?” she asked after a moment of silence.
“What?” Crystal turned to her and honestly looked like she didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Know what… everything, like foresight.” Kayla shook her head.
Crystal laughed. “I don’t know everything. I’ve just learned how to watch for things.” She shrugged and turned back to her task.
“There has to be more than just watching involved.”
Crystal nodded. “Yes, listening, seeing patterns.” She shrugged. “Knowing the signs, charts.”
Crystal continued listing items, but Kayla tuned out.
“See, I knew the exact moment I lost you without turning around and seeing you.” She chuckled as she turned back to her. “You don’t believe in any of that mumbo-jumbo stuff.”
Crystal voiced what Kayla had thought her entire life.
“Right.” She nodded.
“There’s more to this…”—Crystal motioned around her, the spatula still in her hands— “than you can see.” She turned towards her again after setting the utensil down. “For example. You’ve had a hard life.”
Kayla leaned back and gave her a look. “Well, yeah, anyone in town knows that.”
“No, don’t go on the defensive. Anyone looking at the whole of who Kayla Thomas is can see that things haven’t gone smoothly for you. Starting back in your early childhood.” Crystal moved closer and peered deep into her eyes until Kayla started feeling dizzy. “Your family life wasn’t joyful. There were problems. Then, after your sister’s death, things turned even harder. I know your history, everyone in town does, but what they don’t know… what others don’t see is your strength.” Crystal’s smile grew as she reached up and tapped Kayla’s chest above her heart, then moved up and tapped her temple. “Here and here. There’s so much power. So much love yet to give.”
Kayla’s eyes moved to her son.
“You love your son, there’s no doubt about that. But I’m not talking about the love you give, but the love you have yet to receive.” She smiled. “You’re getting closer to it every day. Not only with your family, either.” She smiled and turned back around.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a little freaky?” Kayla said and instantly regretted it.
Suddenly, fear shot through her. She had just said this to the woman who was letting her stay at her house, feeding her and her son every day, not to mention watching her son all day long. The same woman who had given her a job!
Crystal surprised her by laughing loudly. “More people than you’d believe.” She smiled. “Why don’t you pour the juice.” She turned and winked at Kayla.
Kayla realized everything was still right between them and relaxed a
little.
“So, Rowan tells me you two will be going out Monday night,” Crystal said when she sat down and started dishing up her plate.
Kayla glanced up and nodded. “I hope it’s…” What? Okay? Why wouldn’t it be okay if she went out on a date with this woman’s nephew? She was such a dork and felt her face flush instantly.
Crystal just smiled back at her. “I was going to ask you if it was okay with you if I took Connor with me to East Haven for the night. Serenity and Ben are stuck on the mainland until the baby comes and asked me to go and grab a few things they needed here. I thought Connor would enjoy a sleepover. We can sit back, play in the pool.” Crystal’s eyes turned dreamy. “Maybe play on the beach there for a while, then get pampered by my daughter’s staff members.”
“That sounds wonderful.” Kayla was suddenly jealous.
Crystal looked over at her. “I haven’t gone out to the resort in almost a year. Usually, I plan a weekend once in the fall to enjoy myself.”
“It must be nice to get away,” she said between bites of food.
“Of course, it doesn’t hurt that my daughter owns the place.” Crystal chuckled, but Kayla noticed a sadness filled the woman’s eyes.
“You must have loved Sarah’s father very much.” She leaned back.
“Yes.” Crystal’s sadness turned to a smile.
By the time she made it to her mother’s house that morning, she was geared up and ready to go, and her mind was focused on getting her mother’s living room cleared.
When they took a break for lunch, they sat in the still-clean kitchen and talked.
“Mom, did you love Dad?” The question had been rolling through Kayla’s mind for years.
Her mother’s eyebrows shot up slightly. “I used to think I did.” She set her spoon down and tilted her head. “I think I was in love with being needed.” She glanced around the room quickly. “Maybe that’s why after… Lori and your father left us, I descended into… darkness.”
“And now?” she asked, pushing her empty bowl of soup away.
Her mother smiled. “Now I have Connor and you.”
“You had me for years before. That didn’t stop the darkness, as you call it.”
Her mother’s smile fell away. “No, it didn’t.” Her eyes scanned Kayla’s. “I’m sorry. I suppose that the depression outweighed the need.” She stood up and gathered the soiled dishes, and Kayla watched as her mother cleaned them and put them away.
She itched to get up and help her but knew that it was best if her mother completed the simple task. It was good for her to get used to cleaning up after herself.
“Mom, how would we go about finding out where Dad went?” she asked when her mother was done.
Her mom turned around and leaned against the counter as she dried her hands.
“Well, he had a brother, John, in Boston. I can get you the last contact information I have on him, but your father had a falling out with the man years before we married.”
“It’s a start. I’m proud of you.” She got up and moved across the kitchen to wrap her arms around her mother.
Her mother chuckled and shook her head. “Me? Why are you proud of me?”
Kayla leaned back and looked into her mother’s blue eyes, which matched her own. “You just did the dishes without really thinking about it.”
Her mother laughed again. “Do I get a gold star?”
A memory surfaced quickly. Kayla had been eight when her mother created a chore chart for her and Lori. With each task they completed around the house, they received a gold star. If they had ten gold stars at the end of a week, they would get five dollars. The memory made her smile.
“I think you’ve already worked out a reward system.”
Her mother sighed heavily. “Yes, having you and Connor move back in is my goal.”
“Soon.” She leaned in and rested her forehead against her mother’s.
Her mother’s garage was quickly filling up and she knew that soon she’d have to try to sell some of it.
Her mother had narrowed the cats in the house down to four. Three of them Kayla liked, one she didn’t. Scooter was a pain in Kayla’s butt.
The black and white cat was twice the size of the other three and not only demanded attention from her mother but made a point to get in their way all day long.
It was almost as if the cat was upset that they were getting rid of his stuff. Frequently, she had stepped on the cat when he was underfoot. He would let out a loud screech and hiss at her for almost a full minute after each occasion.
By the time she left to get ready for work, the living room was back to the way it had been when Lori had been alive. It was somewhat strange to see that her mother still had the same furniture, and she thought about spending some time the following day rearranging everything to give the space a fresh look.
She was starting to enjoy her time at the store every night more and more. It was nice to catch up with some of the locals that came in.
That evening she hadn’t had much time to glance over the books again since it was too busy. They had received a new shipment of local produce and product earlier that morning from one of the farms just outside of Silver Cove. The jams, honey, and mixed fresh vegetables sold like hotcakes.
There was a line of customers that she was working her way through when she glanced up as the bell above the door chimed. Her smile grew bigger and her heart did a little flip as Rowan and Connor walked into the store.
Okay, so the kid was bored. Rowan had worked through the standard horse and helicopter rides, they had read books, colored, and even played outside for almost a full hour.
He was pretty sure the kid should be getting tired, but instead, CJ was bouncing off the walls. Literally. He was running from one room to the other, playing, “Catch me if you can,” a game Rowan quickly realized he wasn’t too fond of. Then he’d had a great idea.
Walking the few blocks to his aunt’s store to see Kayla was just what the pair of them needed: exercise and the chance to hang out with Kayla.
He hadn’t counted on the store being packed with people.
When Kayla waved at them, he knew it would be more than a few minutes before she’d be free to talk.
“What do you say we take a look around for something to buy?” he said to Connor.
He took the kid to the section full of brightly colored toys and let him rummage through the options.
A little over ten minutes later, Connor was losing steam. He’d picked out two large dinosaurs and had bashed them around, playing loudly while Rowan continued to glance towards Kayla.
She looked even better tonight than she had last night. She was wearing one of those dresses that flowed around her like smoke. Her shoulders were bare, drawing his eyes to a spot just under her collarbone.
It was funny, he’d known Kayla since they were kids. The entire time he’d dated her sister, he’d never once thought of her as anything other than his girlfriend’s younger sister. At times, he’d even thought of her as his own younger sister.
Then Lori had died. His relationship with Kayla had changed to something deeper. They had become almost kindred spirits without even talking. He’d thought of her as one of his closest friends along with Lilith and a few others in town he wasn’t related to but deemed family.
It hadn’t been until she’d returned a few years back and gone to a charity dinner with him that he’d had his first glimpse at attraction towards her. It had been the week when Lilith had been kidnapped.
He’d invited Lilith to the dinner, but after her ordeal, he’d bumped into Kayla, who had been back in town for the weekend. He’d hastily asked her to fill in for Lilith, who’d been laid up in the hospital. That night, he’d changed his mind about her.
She’d grown up. Her hair had been longer and darker back then. He glanced over at her shorter, sun-bleached hair now and smiled. He liked it better this way.
They had spent the evening talking about the good old times, neither
one of them bringing up Lori or the past. He’d dropped her off at her mother’s house and had desperately wanted to kiss her but had left after a short hug.
She’d left town the following day, and he’d regretted not kissing her since then. He thought back to the kisses from last night and felt his body reacting to the memory. Turning his body away from the sight of Kayla, he focused all his attention on playing with Connor and keeping him entertained until his mother was free.
“This is a treat,” Kayla said a few minutes later. She picked up her son and gave him a noisy kiss. “What did I do to deserve a visit?”
“I thought we’d take a walk and come visit you.”
“Mommy,” Connor broke in. “Can I have?” He held up the two dinosaurs.
“I don’t know sweetie. How many dinosaurs do you have now?”
“Freeth.” Connor held up two fingers.
Kayla glanced over at him and smiled. “Looks like we need to work on our counting again.”
Rowan chuckled as Kayla fixed Connor’s fingers until he held up one more digit. “Three,” she said slowly.
“Freeth,” Connor repeated.
“Here, buddy.” He moved closer. “Say tree.”
“Tree.” Connor looked at him.
“Good, now say th-th.” When the kid repeated him. He moved on. “Now say three.”
“Three,” Connor repeated with a huge smile.
“Good job,” Kayla added in as the bell chimed over the door again. She glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. “It’s been like this all evening.”
He reached up and took Connor from her.
“Go, I’ve got this. Besides, I promised him that if he was good, I’d get him a toy.” He nodded to the dinosaurs.
“Okay, but only one.” She glanced over to see who had come in.
“Gotcha. CJ and I can narrow it down to one. Go.” He nudged her towards the front.
He had just turned to look down at the kid when he heard Kayla say loudly.
“Can I help you?” The tone of her voice told him instantly that something was wrong. Three steps and he was beside her.
“No, I’m fine,” Joe said as he shut the cash register while pushing a wad of bills into his pocket.