by Barbara Lohr
The truth pulsed behind McKenna’s lips. “Okay, here it is. Nick told me I was too much...too showy, too boisterous. He was always asking me to tone it down.” Embarrassed her to admit it. The memories stung. “Maybe I make a better friend than a, well, girlfriend.”
Both friends hooted.
“Oh, sure. Nick chased you because you were hot and tried to suck the blood right out of you!” Amy howled.
“Honey, don’t let a man make you less than what you are. Isn’t that what you’ve always told us?” Vanessa reached over to squeeze her hand. “Be yourself. If he doesn’t like it, move on.”
McKenna stared at her sandaled feet. They were right. But it didn’t make Nick’s ultimate rejection feel any better. She could never forget his exasperated looks when she’d laugh too loud or too long. “I know you’re right. I just want to be...careful.”
Priscilla Preston was a lady from the top of her blonde hair to the bottom of her soft leather shoes. Maybe that’s the kind of woman who could go the mile with Logan.
Next to her in the bassinet, Gianna slept, delicate eyelids twitching while she dreamed.
If only adult life were that simple. The air in the room had turned contentious. McKenna leapt to her feet. “Look, I should really head out. Early meeting tomorrow.”
McKenna and Vanessa kissed Amy good-bye, promising to return soon. McKenna took one last look at the baby she’d helped bring into the world. Gianna was so very precious. Vanessa had driven herself over to Amy’s so they went their separate ways. When she hugged McKenna good-bye, she whispered, “Taking a chance is so worth it. You’re the one who taught me that.”
McKenna pushed away, raking one hand through her hair. “I don’t know, Vanessa. The timing’s not good. But as a friend? Logan will be terrific.”
Vanessa threw up her hands and got into her car.
Doubts bombarded McKenna on the way home. Sure she’d been the one urging Amy to “be a babe” while she traveled Italy with Mallory. And yes, she’d urged Vanessa to let Alex into her life. Still, the end of McKenna’s last relationship had sure taken the wind out of her sails.
By the time she left the Eisenhower and turned onto Michigan Avenue, McKenna had racked up plenty of reasons why she should keep Logan at a distance.
~.~
Sitting at the conference table the following morning, McKenna sipped her hazelnut coffee. She’d made rounds early, and seeing Sarah nursing tiny Kristen while twin Jason slept in the bassinette just about turned her inside out. Her own breasts tingled and she had to give a hurried good-bye.
The last few days had made her overly emotional, and she wanted no part of it. That jittery feeling in her stomach? Time to settle down.
When she’d arrived for the meeting, the physicians were looking over some rough sketches. Jack Frazier from Marketing had contacted the architectural firm that had worked on the neuro floor, and they’d produced some impressive sketches. Excitement replaced the trepidation in her chest as she studied the comfortable rooms, wide hallways and, yes, water birthing pools that could transform the OB floor. Also on the table were photos of the OR equipment Logan had suggested. Her excitement chilled just looking at the cold metal.
Most of the group had arrived and she was chatting quietly with Regina Drury when Logan swept in with Priscilla promptly at seven o'clock. Today, the Blonde Bombshell was wearing a trim blue suit that accented her eyes.
Eyes widening, Selena caught McKenna’s attention. Sure, she’d casually mentioned Priscilla but a mere description didn’t do Dr. Preston justice.
“Good morning. Let’s get started.” The color was high in Logan’s cheeks and, darn it, the flush made him even more handsome. Friend. Colleague. The words pulsed in her mind like a warning sign. “Let me introduce—” and somehow she knew what was coming before Logan said it “—my new associate.”
“That’s great. Welcome.” Surprise lifted Bob McCracken’s voice, perhaps relieved that his practice would no longer have to cover for Logan and his doctors.
“We’re thrilled to have Priscilla on board,” added Eric Driver while Gary nodded.
“Dr. Priscilla Preston will be joining Castle and Associates as soon as she can find living arrangements,” Logan explained, rocking back in his chair with a satisfied smile. “Since Dr. Preston comes from a market in San Francisco, she may have interesting input on this project.”
As a mother, Priscilla might be an ally. At least, McKenna sure hoped so.
Jack Frazier practically leapt across the table. “No kidding. The model unit we found is just outside San Francisco.” He named a facility Priscilla seemed to recognize.
“I have colleagues who are on staff at that hospital.” Priscilla’s smile became more confident with each word. Then her gaze slid to Logan. “That is, if the new unit is the direction you decide on.”
Oh, puh-lease. Was Priscilla going to defer to Logan? McKenna’s skin prickled with irritation.
Logan picked up his pen. “Should we get to work?”
Quickly they went over the points touched in the last meeting. “We were discussing whether or not each room should be equipped with a water birthing pool. That is, if we decide to pursue the LDRP project and present it to the Board.”
“Who’ll be making that decision, Logan?” McKenna wanted clarification.
“Um, the group, I guess.” His glance swept the table.
A lively discussion ensued, with Regina weighing in on the side of the midwives. Logan’s hesitation was evident in the questions he posed concerning infections and mortality rates. McKenna took notes. He brought up good points, and she’d get her office on this today. This type of unit would not be popular in other markets if it were unsafe. Gary, Eric and Bob seemed to hold back. Did they hesitate to disagree with Logan? Since they’d all been at Montclair for a while, they probably knew about Logan’s past and were familiar with the secret sorrow he harbored.
Undeterred, McKenna continued to list the benefits. “This is all about delivering in a comfortable and safe environment. Adjustable beds, big screen TVs. Sound systems. Birthing pools. The latest technology concealed in attractive cupboards.”
Okay, maybe she was going overboard. Logan began clicking his pen. “Sounds expensive.”
“But we’re fund raising, right? And we have the support of the Foundation.” She was not backing down.
“My question would be,” Logan continued, “does every woman want to give birth in a pool of warm water?” The words came slowly as if Logan were feeling his way through a sensitive topic.
“Well, my goodness.” Priscilla gasped. “I don't think so. That’s just from my own experience, and I've only had two children.”
Oh, good grief. McKenna bit back a groan.
“Although I realize some hospitals are using this capability, I wouldn't have wanted to climb into a pool to give birth to my little girls.” Priscilla’s voice rose, as if she were championing the rights of all decent, childbearing women. “But that's just my experience. What do you think, McKenna?” Her limpid blue eyes widened in innocent appeal.
McKenna sucked in a deep breath. “I wouldn't know from a personal standpoint, but my patients come to Montclair because we offer water birthing. Before you flew out to Chicago to interview, you probably became familiar with our website and blog.”
Priscilla's vacant expression was priceless. She hadn’t even checked out their website? A shuffle of papers filled the room. Bob glanced at the clock.
“We have a blog?” Logan's forehead wrinkled. With the exception of Gary, the other docs seemed equally surprised.
McKenna's mouth opened, but thank goodness Jack Frazier got there first. “Dr. Castle, we've had the blog for about six months.” He glanced in McKenna's direction. “When For Women came on board, McKenna suggested it. Marketing keeps up the website, as you probably know, but the midwives contribute a substantial portion of the OB blog. We'd be happy to have physicians participate.”
“The patients w
ould love that, Dr. Castle.” Turning to Priscilla, McKenna added, “A female physician's perspective would certainly be welcome.”
“Sounds great. I’d love to pull something together.” Priscilla picked up her pen, as if she would begin right this moment.
The meeting continued. Logan had brought further information about the radiology equipment and other technology for a renovated OR.
“Wouldn’t Orthopedics benefit from this renovation as well?” McKenna asked.
“Why, yes. Good point.” Logan’s smile took her back to Seth’s. When Hot Doc relaxed, he became the endearing guy who sat at the picnic table with her nephews.
“The Foundation Board meeting is at the end of the month,” Logan finally reminded them. “Will we be able to come to some consensus on this?”
McKenna’s stomach tightened. If Logan called a vote, she’d lose all hope. She might even question her decision to join Montclair. How she wished Warren were here.
“Why not let the Board decide,” Regina offered with her usual pragmatic approach.
“Great idea,” Gary Rice agreed and the other physicians nodded. “Present both suggestions and see which one they feel is appropriate for Montclair.”
The group agreed unanimously.
“Great idea. I don’t think Warren will have a problem with this,” Logan said, sitting back. “McKenna and I will make the presentation.” The group murmured agreement.
They were in this together. An air of collegiality followed McKenna back to the office. She really didn’t want to be in an adversarial position with Logan, but she’d take him on about this renovation, if it came to that.
Take him on. Took some effort to rein in her imagination.
This buddy thing might be harder than she’d expected.
“Dorothy, when you have time today, could you search for some information?” She briefly outlined the questions that had been raised at the meeting, while her receptionist jotted notes.
If Logan wanted information, why, she would give him information.
~.~
The patient load at For Women continued to build. McKenna felt the demands on her time increase. In addition to seeing patients, she had a blog to write that week about the complications involved in delivering twins in the birthing pool. Although Sarah's experience had been positive, McKenna wanted expectant parents to realize certain factors might rule out that option. Since twins were becoming way more common, they needed to put more information out there.
By the time she made it to her natural childbirth class Wednesday night, she’d heard nothing from Logan. Fine with her. Felt safe and right now, maybe she might need some distance. After her debacle with Nick, she didn’t need to sprint into a relationship that might go south.
Nick Hanes had been the roadblock she didn’t see coming. Used to throwing herself into projects with fierce abandon, she’d approached Nick that same way. From the start, they got along like gangbusters. An attractive contractor, the two had met when he put an addition on the clinic where she was working at the time. Instant chemistry. She’d never trust that quick, crazy heat again. Sure, she could urge her friends to “be a babe,” but the truth was, that approach hadn’t worked out for her. At least, not with Nick.
After more than a year together, he decided her family was “stifling.” She actually began to avoid the frequent family gatherings. Although she enjoyed Nick’s keen interest in cars and enjoyed swap meets, she began to wonder if his boy toys might come before family. And then there was that attitude, which she saw as rejection.
At first she closed her eyes. And then she opened them wide.
Following the end of her relationship, she’d eagerly accepted Warren’s offer to accommodate For Women at Montclair. For her, the clinic represented failure, but they’d all wished her well when she left.
Now here she was. McKenna planned to build a career at Montclair. Dating a co-worker was never a smart idea. If only she could take back that crazy kiss. For now, if working longer hours kept her away from the Hot Doc, she was grateful.
That evening the couples in her natural childbirth class filed into one of the hospital meeting rooms, all excitement and plump bellies. The chairs were pushed back against the wall. “Grab a mat from the back of the room and get comfortable,” she called out over their nervous chatter.
Everyone laughed. Pregnant women are never comfortable.
Husbands and other labor partners grabbed a blue padded mat and wrestled it onto the floor. Friends and even mothers sometimes served as labor partners. A couple of the women had come alone and they looked kind of lost. She paired them up for tonight. Later she’d get their stories. No one went through this class alone. She made sure of that.
“Good evening and greetings. I'm McKenna Kirkpatrick, nurse practitioner and certified midwife.” The session began. As she looked around, McKenna was filled with something bordering on awe. By the time these women delivered, she would know them very well. And they would trust her—or Bethany or Selena—implicitly. That piece was huge.
Ninety minutes later, she was turning out the lights and yawning. One of the women lagged behind. Skinny with unkempt dark hair, the girl looked way too young to be having a baby.
“Did you have a question?” McKenna asked. Sometimes, women had concerns they hesitated to ask in a group.
Hollowed out eyes stared at McKenna as the girl pushed a lank strand behind one ear. “Do you need a partner for this class?” the new student asked. A cold sore bloomed on her lower lip.
“It's a big help to have someone with you in labor, but no, you don't need a partner for the class.” McKenna tried to read the girl who looked ready to beat a quick retreat.
“Well, that's good cuz Melissa, the woman I was partners with tonight, her husband will be here next time. But I've got…nobody.”
“No mother? No sister?”
Looking away, the girl shook her head.
“Not a problem. And your name is…” McKenna glanced down the class list.
“Angie. Angie Dowd.”
Giving her shoulder a soft squeeze, McKenna walked with her. “Going to the parking garage?” she asked when the elevator doors opened.
Like a ragdoll, Angie jerked away toward the stairwell. “No. I got other transportation.”
This didn’t feel right. “Okay, see you next time, Angie.”
Shoulders sloped, the girl took off. Such a skinny thing. From the back, Angie didn’t even look pregnant. McKenna would have to check the name with Bethany or Selena since she'd never had an office appointment with this girl.
Preoccupied, McKenna exited the elevator. The warm summer evening greeted her. Below on Lake Shore Drive, headlights beamed through the darkness. The city hummed. That's when she saw him. Eyes focused on the lake, Logan lounged against her car. Her heart leapt, steps slowing when he swung his gaze her way.
“Hey, kind of late. Still here?” She ignored the warm rush that banished her exhaustion. Here he was, just when she’d worked so hard to push him to the back of her mind.
In the semi-darkness his eyes were unreadable. “Waiting for you.”
Amazing that her body could perk up like this. Every pore was sending her a text alert. Logan stepped away from her car, and she clicked her car door open while he watched her with those brooding eyes, now bluish gray.
“I enjoyed meeting your new partner.” McKenna tried to fill the silence that hummed like an exposed electric wire. The darkness closed around them, intimate and seductive. “She’ll be a good addition to your practice.”
“Yeah, sure looks that way.” When Logan ducked his head, she wanted to rumple that slicked back hair with both hands. “I wondered if you want to go sailing on Sunday. Thought I’d give this one more try.”
“Oh, well.” She had to shut this down fast. “Sorry but I already have plans.”
“Family stuff again?” She took his obvious disappointment as a compliment and wished she didn’t feel so pleased.
�
�Um, no. Not really.” They were so close that she could inhale the salty scent of a man after a long day. It would be easy to step into his muscular arms. But a bold move like that would take her right down the slippery slope. His mention of her family reminded her of Amanda. Good grief, how could she have forgotten?
“Logan, I hate to ask you for a professional favor…”
“Not a problem.” No hesitation there.
“It’s for Amanda…my sister-in-law.”
He nodded, and gosh, she loved that scruff on his chin. Longed to feel it against her palm. “Right, the girl who was crying at Seth’s party.”
So he’d noticed? “She’s been trying to get pregnant for a long time, and I mentioned you had a fertility clinic….”
The concern that turned his gray eyes to soft suede almost made her change her mind about Sunday. But she had to stick to her plan. One good moment does not make a relationship. “Have her call the office. I’ll leave a note with Tamara.”
“Great. Thank you.” After tossing her purse into the car, she turned to face him. Standing with hands crammed in his khaki pants, he looked as awkward as she felt.
“And thanks for the invitation, Logan. Wish I could make it.” Her regret felt so real, but she had to shut this down. “Maybe Priscilla would like to go.”
His head snapped up. “What? You’re suggesting another woman?”
She swallowed. “You know, since she’s new here. Might make her feel more at home.”
But Logan didn’t look pleased. “Nice of you, but I can take care of myself, McKenna.”
“Just thought I’d make a suggestion.” Had she made him angry?
“I’m a guy who likes to make my own choices.” Logan's voice had dropped so low, it barely carried on the night breeze as he stepped closer. She backed away, hating the confusion on his face.
“See you later, McKenna.” Pivoting, he closed the short distance to his car with long strides.
“Later,” she echoed, disappointment battling relief in her stomach. When she slid inside her jeep, the car was still warm from a day in the sun. The onslaught of heat must have caused the sick taste in her mouth. She couldn’t look back as she stepped on the gas and headed for the exit ramp.