by Lisa Yee
During the next commercial break, Batgirl said to Noah, “Good luck in the final round.”
“My parents don’t think tech is a big deal,” Noah admitted. He was eating cookies with both hands. “My dad’s an organic carrot farmer, and my mom raises llamas and weaves caps from their wool. They don’t even own a computer.”
Batgirl understood. Though her father had a turbocharged computer, thanks to Batgirl, it was clear that TechTalkTV wasn’t a big deal to him. If it were, he’d be there, right?
Both Noah and Batgirl were silent for a moment.
A familiar voice from above announced, “We’re back on the air live in one minute. Places, everyone!”
There was complete silence in the studio, except for a nervous ping coming from inside Cyborg. The celebrity judges sat stone-faced. Nebble Bytes raised his hand in the air. “The final round is a computer conundrum,” he said. “That’s right! Our competitors must break a complex code virus, upload it onto their computers, and neutralize it, under stressful conditions. Not only will they be timed and scored for accuracy, but the celebrity judges will also cast their votes. Wait! And there’s more, because we’re asking our studio and television audiences to weigh in as well!”
The audience cheered wildly, until Nebble Bytes demanded, “SILENCE, PLEASE!”
When the audience wouldn’t stop cheering, Cyborg let out a sonic blast from his cybernetic arm that instantly quieted the room. Alicia Chen took his name and handed Cyborg her card as Nebble Bytes nodded his appreciation.
The contestants were serious as they approached a state-of-the-art computer station. This was their big chance to win. Cameras recorded from every angle. As a confusion of letters, numbers, and symbols scrolled onto each computer screen, the audience gasped. The code was so dense it looked like a block of black. Batgirl and the others leaned forward and squinted to get a better look.
This is going to be tough, Batgirl thought. She glanced at Noah, who was hunched over, typing furiously, his brow knotted and his teeth clenched. Suddenly, there was the squall of a baby crying. Then the menace of a dog barking, then the smash of vehicles crashing. That was just the first wave of distractions.
The temperature in the studio plummeted to freezing cold, and suddenly the Wi-Fi connection started going in and out as a team of mimes entered with chalkboards and ran their fingernails down them.
“We are simulating less-than-ideal conditions,” Nebble Bytes said gleefully as the distraction ramped up to epic proportions.
Finally, one of the competitors yelled, “I GOT IT! I FIGURED IT OUT!”
Batgirl looked at Noah Kuttler as he did an awkward victory dance back and forth across the stage, all traces of his stage fright gone. Almighty Delores Dollar frowned, and Alpha Numeric shook his head. The audience slowly went silent as Noah continued to dance.
Nebble Bytes took to the podium and broke the silence. “Noah Kuttler has solved the computer conundrum!” he announced. “He has broken apart the complex code and boiled it down to its essence. Therefore, he takes the third and final round.”
“I’m number one!” Noah cried, breaking into an awkward moonwalk and then spiking his calculator so that it shattered, sending parts flying into the first row and hitting some audience members. “Noah Kuttler is in da room!”
Nebble Bytes cleared his throat and tried to get the attention of some of the disgruntled audience members. “And now it is time for you, celebrity judges”—he motioned to them—“to cast your vote for the TechTalkTV champion. And for you, TV audience”—he motioned to the camera and winked—“to cast your vote for the TechTalkTV champion. And for you, studio audience”—he motioned to them—“to record your pick on the panel in front of you and help select the TechTalkTV champion.”
Supergirl hit the Batgirl button so hard she destroyed it and had to ask for a new one.
Nebble Bytes continued. “TV viewers, we are counting on you to log in or call and vote for your favorite TechTalkTV competitor! A team of accountants and I will also tabulate the scores and, using an algorithm too advanced for you to ever understand, we will crown the TechTalkTV champion and winner of the mega money. But first, this important message from our sponsor, CoffeeCoffee, with twice the caffeine for half the price!”
Backstage, the adults were reluctantly congratulating Noah Kuttler. All signs pointed to him as the champion. He and Batgirl had won the team competition, and he had won the final round. Still, the celebrity judges, audience, and viewer votes had to be tabulated.
“You were a great teammate,” Noah said to Batgirl.
“I can learn so much from you,” she told him. “Congratulations!”
He blushed. “I hope my little dance didn’t cost me too many points,” he said, looking sheepish. “But you’re right, I’ve got this in the bag. If my parents are even watching, maybe they’ll finally take notice of what I’m capable of.”
Batgirl wondered if her father was watching—he was on a big case that seemed to be keeping him busy. Even though she was sure she didn’t win, Batgirl knew she had done her best.
The competitors stood onstage. Nebble Bytes held up a sealed envelope as a spotlight shone on it. Noah Kuttler tried not to look too happy, but it was difficult for him. The adults looked like they had eaten slugs. Batgirl was happy the competition was over and she could get back to school.
“And the winner is…,” Nebble Bytes said, opening the envelope, then leaning into the microphone, “BATGIRL!”
As confetti fell from the rafters, the audience went crazy. Batgirl could hear Supergirl cheering louder than the rest, which was no mean feat, considering how loud Cyborg and Harley were. Even Principal Waller got in a “Woot woot!” before she composed herself. Doc Magnus looked so proud that Batgirl thought he might burst. Batgirl herself stood frozen, not knowing how to react.
Master Miser threw a hissy fit, storming off the stage. Dr. Eloise Lee congratulated Batgirl, but her handshake was weak and insincere. Alpha Numeric looked directly at her and said, “You won—this time.” And Almighty Delores Dollar turned her back on Batgirl.
“Noah?” Batgirl said as they were led offstage. She was carrying a giant check for $25,000. “Are you okay?”
“Of course I’m not okay. YOU JUST STOLE MY WIN!” he yelled, his eyes flashing. He looked scary but instantly calmed down before slumping over. “I’m sorry, Batgirl,” he said then. “It’s just that I thought I had done well. I thought I was going to win.”
“You did! More than good, you were amazing,” she consoled him. “It should have been you holding this.” She handed him the golden circuitry-board trophy she’d been given in addition to the prize money.
Noah held it gently, then reluctantly passed it back to Batgirl. “It’s yours,” he said. “The people have spoken. They liked you more than me. Story of my life. The end.”
Batgirl was unsettled. Luckily, she had Batty to confide in. “All the interviews, all the attention, all the everything,” she told the little bat. “It’s overwhelming.”
Batty flew around the Bat-Bunker, then hung upside down on the lamp on the corner of Batgirl’s desk. If only life were as calm everywhere as it was in the Bat-Bunker, Batgirl thought. She loved being alone with her tech. Just that afternoon at Capes & Cowls Café, Captain Cold had frozen Batgirl’s chair right before she sat down, causing her to slide off and fall on the floor.
“Now, is that a way for a champion to behave?” he asked as Batgirl picked herself up.
“Leave her alone!” Katana demanded, instantly at her side. She only had to put her hand on the hilt of her sword to make Captain Cold and his CAD Academy cohorts, Ratcatcher and Magpie, back away.
“It’s okay,” Batgirl assured her. “Really.”
Katana stood still, sword in hand as her eyes narrowed.
“Oops,” Cyborg said, spilling his chocolate milk shake all over Captain Cold’s plate. “My bad!”
He high-fived Katana as Ratcatcher howled with laughter and Captain Col
d seethed.
Batgirl smiled, but inside she felt awful. Why did people like Captain Cold have to be jerks? And did her friends really think they had to defend her?
Batgirl found herself on the covers of Tech and Superstar Super Heroes magazines. Plus, there was a huge feature interview by Lois Lane on the reporter’s vlog. Batgirl was the talk of the broadcast media. But it was all talk about her. Few in the media bothered to talk to her. Super Hero Hotline, featuring two former child super heroes as hosts, led with her story.
“It’s all about Batgirl,” said the woman with the tall orange hair. Her teeth were a blinding white, offset by her bright red lipstick.
“The year of the Bat!” her cohost chimed in. With a few deft moves, he fashioned his impressive mustache to look like a bat.
The weekend rushed toward her. Soon it was time for her to head home. As she hauled her laundry bag through the side door, she wondered if her father would even mention the competition.
“Congratulations!” Commissioner Gordon beamed.
She smiled. So he did know after all! “Thanks, Dad!”
“You know what that means, don’t you?” he asked, handing her the detergent.
“What?”
“With the TechTalkTV win, everyone knows how great you are. Now you can probably snag any high-tech job you want after college.”
Batgirl turned on the washing machine. It made a comforting chug-chug, chug-chug sound. “Dad,” she said, feeling deflated, “I don’t want to work in an office or a lab, I want to be a super hero. Wasn’t there something you really wanted when you were a kid?”
He nodded. “Yes. I always wanted to be a police officer.”
“Okay, then!” Batgirl said. They were finally getting somewhere. “Your job is dangerous, so I don’t see why you don’t want me to have one that could be, too.”
“This is different,” he said. “Barbara, we’ve talked about this.”
Both were silent.
“Barda is doing really well in my class,” her father finally said. “Her last paper, ‘Crime and Punishment and Perps,’ was excellent!”
Finally, Batgirl grumbled, “Great. Applause for Big Barda.”
Batgirl didn’t want to admit it, but she was happy to be back at school and in the dorms on Monday. Batty seemed more content in the Bat-Bunker, too.
“She’s pretty much the best bat in the world,” Beast Boy said. Batgirl had to agree. He changed into a bat and started playing tag with Batty.
Batgirl logged on to her computer as the two whooshed above and around her. Some of the girls thought Beast Boy was a total goofball, but Batgirl didn’t feel that way. She especially liked that he could keep a secret about Batty. She would eventually get Batty officially sanctioned as a pet, but she was just too busy right now.
What Batgirl didn’t like, however, was all the attention that kept coming her way. Nor did Cheetah, Sapphire, Frost, and some of the others. Batgirl was not immune to the rumors that she believed her own press and was starting to get full of herself.
“An amazing feat!” Doc Magnus exclaimed. He had replayed Batgirl’s triumphant win for the class. Many yawned. “Truly, incredibly amazing. We could all learn from her.”
Batgirl felt her stomach tighten. The subjective votes had put her over the top, not the hard numbers. Had it not been for the audience, Noah Kuttler would have been champ and the spotlight would be on him.
After class, Batgirl retreated to the library. She was supervising the digitization of the cross-reference index, incorporating books and other media. With the help of Supergirl’s lightning-fast speed, Batgirl was able to do a clean sweep of duplicate and antiquated books, coming across several written by current teachers, like Dr. Arkham. The school therapist had autographed his books with a large, flashy signature punctuated with a happy face.
Other Supers pitched in to help. Amassing volunteer hours was part of the Super Hero High curriculum, and many preferred working in the library to mowing the hero ball field or relocating old buildings. Several of the binders contained time-sensitive material, so Katana set about slicing and dicing those that had expired by using her sword as a shredder, then handing the piles of paper to Poison Ivy for recycling. Meanwhile, Green Lantern and Supergirl rearranged the bookshelves as Batgirl installed the new media tracking system Star Sapphire’s parents had donated.
“Pretty impressive,” Harley said as she videoed the library transformation. “Hey, Batgirl, can you help me out with something?”
Batgirl finished installing a new circuit board into one of the older computers. “Sure,” she said. “What can I do for you?”
“I want you to help me take Harley’s Quinntessentials to the next level,” Harley said as she started pressing random buttons on the keyboard. “Beep-beep! Beep-beep!” she said, laughing.
“Please don’t do that,” Batgirl said, moving the keyboard away from her. “What do you mean by ‘the next level’?”
“Total world media domination,” Harley said modestly. “We can work on the rest of the universe after that. Can you help get me there? I thought if I did something high-tech-y, it would give me an edge.”
Batgirl thought about it. Total world media domination was a lot to ask. “Maybe,” she said, “I can increase your Web channel’s popularity threefold.”
“That’ll do for now,” Harley said.
Batgirl was nervous. A boy in a Gotham High jacket at Capes & Cowls kept staring at her.
“Hi, Batgirl!” Steve Trevor called. “Care for a free sample of our new organic carrot cake?”
She took a sample from his tray. It was delish.
“I’ll have a slice and a glass of milk,” she said.
After Steve brought it over, Batgirl noticed the boy across the room still looking at her. She bent her head when he headed toward her table.
“Don’t I know you?” the boy asked.
Batgirl recognized Phil Baker. She had tutored him in math when she went to Gotham High. Despite his fear of complex equations, she helped him bring his grade up from a C- to a B+.
“I don’t think so,” Batgirl said. She wondered what he wanted.
“It is you!” Phil exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“Eating?” She hunched over, hoping there weren’t any other Gotham High students around.
“Hey, everyone, look who’s here!” Phil yelled excitedly. He pointed right at her. “It’s Batgirl from that TV show!”
Batgirl tried unsuccessfully not to blush as she waved at the students and even signed a few autographs. She still wasn’t used to being in the public eye. Though it was flattering to be recognized, she preferred her Barbara Gordon days, when she could drop by Capes & Cowls and sip a smoothie in peace. Batgirl had to laugh at this memory, though. Because back then, she was probably the only person to never go completely gaga over seeing the super heroes in person, often sitting at the next table.
“Want to join us?” Cyborg asked Batgirl. He was sitting in a booth with Green Lantern and Hawkgirl.
“No thanks,” Batgirl said, scanning the room. “I’m meeting someone.” She waved at the boy standing in the doorway. “Over here.”
“Hey!” he called as he made his way across the café.
“Everyone, this is Noah Kuttler. He was on TechTalkTV,” Batgirl said, introducing him to some of her fans. “I’ve never met anyone as tech smart as him. Maybe you’d like his autograph, too!”
Noah lit up, but his smile disappeared as quickly as the fans did. Apparently, they didn’t want to meet the guy who’d come in second.
“I’m sure they’re busy,” Batgirl said quickly.
Both looked at the kids lingering at the doorway. Neither said anything as they took seats.
Noah Kuttler’s mass of curly hair was shoved under a dark green baseball cap. Batgirl noticed that his T-shirt was on inside out and backward.
“What can I do for you, Batgirl?” he asked as he sat across from her.
“I’m working
on a little project that could use your help,” she said.
“If it’s electronic equipment you need, you could just spend your prize money,” Noah reminded her.
“While I still have it,” Batgirl said, laughing. “You know how much computer and tech equipment costs!”
Noah nodded. He did know.
A girl’s voice from a nearby table floated over to them. “And so I told my mom, why just get one new car when you can get three, each in a different color to match your outfits?”
Cheetah and Frost, who were sitting with Star Sapphire, nodded.
At another table Big Barda and Lady Shiva rolled their eyes.
“Noah, I’m stuck on some of this code,” Batgirl said, opening up her tablet. Numbers marched across the screen. “Can you take a look? I’m jumping off from what we created on TechTalkTV.”
Noah smiled. “I got you covered!” he assured her.
“HarleyGrams will take me to the next level!” Harley said excitedly.
Katana and Bumblebee had stopped by their table at dinner on their way to the library. Wonder Woman was digging into her third helping of lasagna, and Hawkgirl had just finished her tropical-fruit salad, leaving a pile of kiwi on the edge of her plate.
“The patented HarleyGrams will put Harley Quinn right in the room with you,” Harley continued. “A tiny 3-D hologram version of me! What could be better than that?”
“I can think of a dozen—” Beast Boy started to say, before Batgirl shushed him.
“Noah helped with the part of the code I couldn’t figure out. Now all I have to do is apply it,” Batgirl said. “I may also need some special tech, too. To stay on the cutting edge, you’ve got to keep up with the latest trends and equipment. Creativity can only take you so far. Then you have to have the hardware.”
“Please lower your voices,” Star Sapphire said from a nearby table. “No one wants to hear about your hammer and nails.”