“I don’t blame you,” he replied. “I would have been mad too if…y’know…the roles were reversed.”
Alicia nodded. “Clarabelle is a great girl.”
“You don’t believe that,” James replied amused. “You don’t like her at all, do you?”
“I’m indifferent to her,” Alicia replied shrugging. “Ever since she slept with Jane’s boyfriend, I don’t think too highly of her.”
“She’s trying to change,” James defended his girlfriend.
“As are you, I’ve noticed.” She raised her eyebrows.
James shrugged as if to wave off what she had said. Because Alicia did not know the true reason, James was trying to change. She may think the credit goes to Clarabelle, but the truth could not be farther.
“So,” Alicia stared. “Can we still hang out like before or does girlfriend have an objection?”
James rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t own me.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Alicia agreed. “Why are you inside on a Saturday night?”
James shrugged again. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently.
“I would expect you to be out there, getting some girls with Blake, getting drunk to the point of passing out. You know, living your life.”
James raised his eyebrows. “You know I don’t do that anymore. Not too much at least.”
“Not too much but enough to do it on a Saturday night.”
“Well, I don’t know. I guess I didn’t feel like it.”
“Why?” Alicia asked curiously. “I never asked you this. I know you’ve been holding back for the last couple of months but, I mean, what made you do that?””
You.
“Growing up, I guess. I should become more responsible.”
“Please knock some responsibility into Blake too,” she replied lightly. “He needs some. I was dropping Mia to the party and Blake was already drunk.”
“He doesn’t have any reason to not to that.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Right. Responsibility and all that.”
“Mmm.”
“But the same ‘responsibility theory’ can apply to him too.”
“Well, I guess everyone comes to terms with the ‘responsibility theory’ at different times. You, for instance, have always been responsible. I came to terms with it about a year ago. Blake will probably never come to terms with it. Liam was born with it. Clarabelle…well, she’s different.”
“How so?”
“She isn’t responsible the way you are, or Liam is. But in her own way, she’s a sensible one.”
“Agreed.”
As if on cue, the door opened, and Clarabelle entered. She was holding a sling bag and wearing her pajamas. She was to stay over today, but that had completely slipped James’s mind when Alicia had come into the picture. Clarabelle stopped at the sight in front of her. How strange it must look to her, the other two thought. Alicia sitting with her legs crossed on James’ bed while he lay there. It looked casual to suspect anything but considering their history, no one would blame Clarabelle for feeling uncomfortable.
Clarabelle wasn’t the kind of girl who felt jealous. Jealousy was beneath her. Jealousy showed attachment, and that was one thing she actively avoided in all her relationships, be it, friends or men.
“James, Alicia,” Clarabelle said, a smile forced on her lips.
“Hey,” Alicia replied. She turned to James. “You never told me Clarabelle was coming over. I would’ve made myself scarce if I knew.”
“It’s alright. It’s nothing…y’know…new.”
“Right.” Alicia stood up as Clarabelle deposited her bag on the sofa.
“You don’t have to leave…” James said, but Alicia shook her head.
“It’s late. Jane will get worried.”
“Right.”
Clarabelle was rummaging through her bag for something and did not look up until James called out Alicia’s name again when she was already out the door.
“How are you getting home?” James asked.
“Walking.”
“It’s late. I’ll drive you home.”
Clarabelle stared at the exchange taking place in front of her. It was a normal exchange between two friends, one of them being concerned for the safety of the other, but to a girl who had, for the first time, felt anything remotely close to attachment to another human being, it was strange and disconcerting.
“I can go on my own,” Alicia replied.
“No, I’ll take you.” James threw the cover off him and stood up. “It’s not safe walking around this late. We should drive.”
“I like the night air.”
“We can walk then.”
“James, it’s fine…”
“No, it isn’t.”
By now, Clarabelle was starting to feel ignored. James hadn’t so much as looked at her ever since she had got there.
“I’m sure Alicia will be fine,” Clarabelle said. “You don’t need to walk her home.”
Alicia snorted discreetly. “James, I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll take her home,” a voice called behind her. Alicia could have hugged Liam right there and then.
“You, Liam, are a life saver,” Alicia said five minutes later as they walked down the empty campus streets. “Did you know that?”
“I’m aware,” Liam replied.
“Wait, I’m supposed to be angry at you for neglecting to tell me about James’s new relationship.”
“I told James to tell you himself. He’s an idiot at times.”
“At times?”
“All the time.”
“I shouldn’t have come over. That encounter was extremely awkward.”
“You can come over anytime. Clarabelle being there doesn’t change anything.”
“It does, though. She wouldn’t like the way James and I are.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “You could’ve been over to meet Blake or me. Loads of possibilities. If her mind jumps to the possibility which would bother her the most, you shouldn’t be the one to blame.”
Alicia sighed. “Dear me, I’ll have to see a lot of Clarabelle now, won’t I?”
Meanwhile, Clarabelle was trying very hard not to think of the encounter she had just had while she made out with her boyfriend. And God, he was good at this. She went a little weak in the knees as he kissed her. This could mean nothing good because she was normally the one who was in control.
“Did you lock the door?” James muttered against her lips.
“Mhm.”
“Good, because I don’t think we’ll be done anytime soon,” he said winking before he captured her lips again. All annoyance at him disappeared; he was too good a kisser.
She moved her lips to the space below his ear, and as she did, a strange thought occurred to her. Who else? Who else had kissed him at the exact same spot? Who else had he made to feel so weak and helpless with his wonderful kisses?
She withdrew suddenly.
“What’s wrong?” James asked.
“N-nothing,” Clarabelle stammered. She kissed him again but pulled back.
“Did I do something wrong?” James asked.
“No no no,” Clarabelle shook her head. “You did nothing wrong. Of course not.”
He frowned. “Are you alright?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m fine.”
“Um, okay,” James said, unsure of what to do next.
This is ridiculous, Clarabelle thought. I’m supposed to be making out with my boyfriend, not thinking of where I can find the previous women in his life and how to murder them.
She was being a hypocrite, and she knew it. If James had a history with women, it was nothing short of the history she had. She pushed these thoughts out of her head and soon, found herself on his bed, moaning helplessly when he entered her. She had slept with more people than she can remember but James Carter was too damn good at this. She clung to his back and raised her hips to meet his thrusts. Profanities tumbled from
her mouth as she tried to come to terms with the intense pleasure he was making her feel.
When she finally drifted off to sleep, she did not think of anything besides James. James kissing her, James smiling, James charming her with his wit and humor. James wouldn’t be disloyal to her, she told herself. She was Clarabelle Angie. Men lined up for her. He was lucky to have her.
Chapter Five
Winter of freshmen year and Alicia had just started to feel the holiday spirit. There were Christmas trees everywhere, and end of exams was approaching fast. She only had one exam left, and it was one of her good subjects, so she was already off the hook. In a desire to appreciate the snowy blanket covering the roads, she decided to take a stroll along one of the most scenic paths of college. Nothing could ruin her mood.
Except for James Carter. And he appeared as if on cue to ruin her day.
“James,” she greeted.
“What are you doing out here on a day like this?”
“Appreciating the cold.”
“If you feel cold, I can help you out,” he had said suggestively.
She smiled sweetly. “I’d rather freeze to death, James.”
“All this hate isn’t good,” he said. “You’ll forget all the hate if you agree to go on a date with me.”
“I wouldn’t go on a date with you if we were the last two people left on this planet.”
Alicia smiled at the memory as she suddenly remembered it, walking down the same path. The snowy roads from her memory were covered in orange autumn leaves. There were a few changes in the scenery here and there, but for the most part, the snow was the only thing that was missing. And other things had changed too. James no longer wanted her, and she no longer disliked James. The tables had turned so brutally that she had to laugh at it; there was no other way to deal with it.
As if on cue again, James appeared by her side which startled her.
He grinned his stupid grin when she jumped at his sudden appearance.
“What are you doing here on a day like this?” he asked casually. Alicia was momentarily caught off guard at the strange resemblance to the question he had asked her three years ago. She wondered if he remembered too.
“I was…appreciating the cold…” she said. She wanted to know if he too was thinking of that evening three years ago.
He frowned, however. “Cold? It isn’t cold.”
Apparently, he wasn’t thinking of any such thing.
Alicia shook her head. “Never mind. Where are you headed?”
“Nowhere in particular. I saw you and decided to come along.”
“Your girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate that.”
He looked amused. “You really don’t like her, do you?”
“I’m indifferent to her,” she repeated for the second time.
“I feel like you’ve been indifferent to me too for the past few days.”
Alicia turned to look at him. “I’m never indifferent to you,” she said with more intensity than she intended.
“Well, I wouldn’t say never. I remember first year when I was completely mad about you and you would break my heart every time.” His smile was teasing as if he did not care for it much but only wanted to bring back a happy memory. Alicia’s heart broke.
“So when did you stop being mad at me?” she asked hesitantly.
He shrugged. “When I realized it was pointless.”
She forced a smile.
“And I got into too much trouble trying to impress you and to no end,” he grinned again.
“You could’ve just tried being nice,” she replied.
“Ah, but what’s the fun in that?”
Alicia was quiet as his words sunk in. If there were no fun in it, James would probably never have chased her at all. That was all he was looking for perhaps. A bit of fun. And now that he had found a girl who held the patent on fun, he had no reason to focus on her at all. She was just a girl he chased once for the fun of it.
“It’s cold,” she said just to cover up the awkward silence which had been a result of her overthinking.
“Let’s go inside,” he said.
They found a café, and as they sat in there sipping hot chocolates and talking about anything and everything, for a minute, Alicia forgot that James was with Clarabelle. She forgot about it all, and it was almost like old times. Almost.
Maybe she would eventually come to terms with the strange new developments in her life. The fact that James Carter no longer liked her. The fact that he was dating Clarabelle Angie now. Maybe very soon, none of this will matter, and she will move on.
If she thought things were getting better though, she was wrong. The next morning, in the breakfast hall, she saw Paige kissing Gavin, and she instantly knew that Mia would not take it well.
She was wrong.
Mia took it worse than she imagined.
As Alicia was exiting the dinner hall, she heard screaming and hearing Mia’s voice, she ran towards it.
“You lying, cheating bastard!” Mia shrieked. “You were kissing her? You were kissing her?”
Paige and Gavin stood in front of her and onlookers started to gather around to see what the commotion was about. Gavin’s top button was undone, and there was lipstick smeared on his cheeks; the same orange lipstick that Paige was wearing.
“Mia, I…” Gavin stammered.
“And you!” Mia turned to Paige. “Who do you think you are?”
“Mia, please…” Gavin attempted again. Mia lunged at Gavin this time with the intention of hitting him, but Jane and Hannah stepped in before she could reach him.
“Gavin, it’s best you leave,” Alicia told him. She noticed that Clarabelle and James were among the onlookers too. Clarabelle was staring at her best friend in disbelief but did not make any attempts to step in.
“I can’t believe you!” Mia was shouting, and Jane and Hannah attempted to calm her down.
“Mia, let’s go…” Jane said, but Mia struggled to free herself from Jane’s grip.
“In the entrance hall! In front of everyone! I can’t even fathom… you are disgusting Gavin-”
Hannah managed to pull her along, and they were on their way. Alicia gave one last sympathetic look to Gavin and Paige before she followed her friends.
Clarabelle lagged behind as her boyfriend, and his friends returned to their classes. She was looking for Paige but could not seem to find her. When she finally located her, she saw that Paige was standing near the window and looking out at the clear night sky.
“Paige…” Clarabelle began.
“Go away.” Paige’s voice was harsh, and her tone was unlike Clarabelle had ever heard. In fact, Clarabelle thought it impossible for Paige to speak unkindly to anyone.
“Please Paige…” Clarabelle attempted again.
“I don’t want to talk right now.”
“Is it true? What Mia said?”
“Yes, it’s true. Now leave me alone.”
“You can talk to me, Paige. What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” Paige replied viciously. “You’re the worst friend anyone can ever have. Leave me alone!”
“P-Paige-”
“I said leave me!”
Tears were rolling down Paige’s cheeks now.
“You’ll be back home soon?” Clarabelle said, attempting one last time.
“Yes,” Paige said with finality before turning away.
In the evening, when Clarabelle returned to the dorm house she shared with the other girls, she heard Mia’s screams from outside the front door.
“THAT LYING BASTARD! THAT CHEATING SON OF A BICTH!”
Clarabelle hesitantly entered the house, closing the door behind her. The four girls were in the living room. Paige was nowhere to be seen. Even though Clarabelle shared the house with these four girls, she had never gotten along with them too well. Clarabelle barely got on with any girl beside Paige. Unofficially, the house was split between them. The top portion belonged to Paige and Clarabelle,
and the bottom one belonged to Mia, Hannah, Jane and Alicia. Clarabelle joined them in the living room.
As soon as Clarabelle came into the picture, Mia, who had been pacing around previously, rounded on her.
“Oh, it’s you,” she said when recognition dawned. “I thought it might be that bitch of a friend you have.”
She resumed her pacing. Alicia was propped on the sofa, typing away on her laptop and Jane was trying to get Mia to sit down. Hannah was sorting out a pile of books.
“What happened?” Clarabelle asked hesitantly.
“What happened,” Mia begun. “Is that your whore of a friend was kissing my whore of a boyfriend. It’s so humiliating!” Mia was talking to herself now. “In the entrance hall! Everyone saw. Oh-”
“Honey,” Jane said. “Please calm down. This isn’t doing you any good.”
“Are you sure?” Clarabelle asked.
“Of course I’m fucking sure!” Mia yelled. “Half the college saw them!”
“Half the college doesn’t care, Mia,” Hannah replied without any emotions.
“Maybe Paige didn’t know…” Clarabelle said.
“Of course she fucking knew!” Mia yelled.
The door opened, and the girl in question entered.
“Get OUT!” Mia yelled at her.
Paige’s eyes were red, and her mascara was smeared.
“Mia,” Alicia said, standing up. “That’s enough.”
“Make her LEAVE!” Mia yelled.
“This is her house too,” Alicia said firmly.
“She can try the Delta Sigma Phi dorms. They aren’t very picky.”
Gavin was a member of Delta Sigma Phi.
“Paige,” Alicia sighed. “Please go upstairs. I’ll take care of her.”
Paige threw one last scared look at Mia before conceding.
Mia turned to Clarabelle, a triumphant look on her face. “There’s something you should know,” she said.
“Mia, leave it,” Jane said, but her voice was resigned.
“Paige is going to try to sleep with James,” Mia said, smiling viciously.
“What?”
“She told us this morning.”
“N-no,” Clarabelle said. “Paige is fine with us dating.”
“Nope. She wants him, and she is adamant.”
Mia was smiling vindictively now.
The Campus Jock: A College Bad Boy Romance Page 3