Rory hushed her. "Ruby, I think you should probably see somebody about this—a psychologist maybe. I mean, the miscarriage was nobody's fault; we can have more children in the future."
Ruby stilled and looked at Rory beseechingly. "Please Rory, we have to do something about her."
"About who?" Rory was on the verge of exhaustion. He had just come in from a grueling workday at his uncle's office and then had to deal with one more of Ruby's paranoid theories. Last week she was convinced that sour sop drink was the cause of the miscarriage; this week it was Sue-Ann.
"It's her," Ruby said faintly. "All this time she was pretending to be my friend when she just wanted to hurt me."
Rory shook Ruby a little. "Ruby, listen to me! You have to snap out of this. You had a miscarriage two months ago. Move on. It was probably for the best anyway. We were not where we wanted to be before we had a child together. Maybe you should go about finding a job instead of moping around the house. Sue-Ann had nothing to do with this."
"Why are you taking up for her?" Ruby hissed. "Don't let her kindly face fool you. She's evil!"
"Oh stop it, Ruby." Rory got up. "I am sleeping in my room tonight. You have to snap out of this. You are putting a strain on our relationship. I can't really take any more of this. Snap out of it!"
Ruby dried her eyes and watched him as he walked out. Snap out of it. Of all the cruel things to say. How could she prove what Sue-Ann did? She had to go and search her room.
She got up, determined to find even a shred of evidence that Sue-Ann was the culprit.
Sue-Ann's door was ajar when Ruby crossed the hallway. She pushed it and stepped inside. The room was incredibly neat. The bed was spread so that you could even bounce a coin off it. Even the bottles on her dresser were arranged according to size.
Somehow the neatness enraged her: orderly and neat Sue-Ann, the psycho killer. Ruby felt an urge to destroy her room like Sue-Ann destroyed her baby. She went to the closet first and she pulled out her clothes. She threw her gray student's uniforms to the floor and jumped on them. She swiped all her bottles from the dresser. Hearing them crash gave her a sense of satisfaction.
By the time Ruby had gotten to shaking out her textbooks and emptying her drawers Sue-Ann came and was standing at the door, watching her with a smirk on her face—no anger, no curiosity. She knew that Ruby had figured it out.
"Why?" Ruby asked her. She felt so broken looking into the face of such smugness.
"I don't know what you are talking about," Sue-Ann said cockily. When she heard Rory's door opening, her expression changed into one of anguish.
"What are you doing in here, Ruby?" she asked plaintively, like she was shocked.
Ruby shook her head. "You are such a great actress. I give up." She flung Sue-Ann's Anatomy and Physiology book that she was holding face-down and slammed her foot into it.
Rory came to the door and looked at the once-neat room, his eyes accusing. "Ruby, what are you doing?" The bedding was rumpled and various items from Sue-Ann's closet and dresser were strewn about the floor.
"She needs a psychiatrist," Sue-Ann said helpfully. "She is acting so weird, and she broke my perfume bottles. I never knew that Ruby was jealous of me."
"I'll buy back your perfume," Rory said hurriedly. He came into the room and held Ruby's hand.
"Let me go!" Ruby snarled. Her eyes flashed. "She killed my baby!"
"I did no such thing!" Sue-Ann said, looking beseechingly at Rory. "I would never do such a thing—that's sick!"
When Rory turned around and looked at her, Ruby could see that he was on Sue-Ann's side; he was even giving her that look, with a hint of dislike, like he didn't know her and he didn't love her anymore.
Ruby held up her hand and inhaled hoarsely, a deep dragging sound that did nothing to release sense of injustice that she felt.
"Okay, you win," she said to Sue-Ann, laughing hysterically. "I am out of here. Isn't that what you wanted? You can have a go with your precious Rory."
"Ruby," Rory said exasperation lacing his tone. "Please stop this madness."
"I will," Ruby said, marching to her room. "I will stop it." She took down her suitcase from the top of the closet and methodically packed every piece of her clothes in it.
"If you loved me, you would come with me," Ruby said, looking at Rory one last time. "But I can't stay here in this house with that woman anymore."
Rory stood at the door and looked at her.
"No." He shook his head. "I have had enough of you and this attitude. When you grow up you can come back from wherever you are going now."
****
"I guess I never did grow up," Ruby said to Alice and Cynth as she finished relating the whole scenario to them. "I never went back."
Cynth had her mouth opened and she snapped it shut. "And this guy is your pastor now?"
"Yup." Ruby looked at her watch. "Lunchtime is over. I have that meeting..."
Alice nodded. "And I have not even talked about my store."
"Oh yes," Cynth said absently. "Can you come by tomorrow? I'll work on it with you. You definitely need a big opening. We'll spread the word around, have a couple of give-aways, maybe get Mobay Radio 3 at the event, hand out souvenirs with your address on it, preferably something car-related."
She swung back around to Ruby. "Your pastor…and he married that repulsive girl?"
"Yup." Ruby got up. "See you all later."
"Do you still love him?" Alice asked.
Ruby was on the verge of getting her bag. She sighed. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Cynth gasped. "Ruby!"
"He wants us to leave our spouses and get back together."
"No! Oh no!" Alice said, shaking her head vigorously. "That would devastate Ian. Surely you can't be considering that."
"Surely not!" Cynth echoed. "I can see him wanting to leave his spouse; she's a piece of work, that one, but you leave Ian. Hell no!"
Ruby sank back in the seat. "I think it is ridiculous too, but I can't stop thinking about it. Rory and I were happy at one time. I just don't know. I feel kind of responsible for how I left and then he's saddled with this woman who... "
"No, not your responsibility for the choices he made in his life." Cynth shook her head vehemently. "I am no Christian, but I can tell you that this doesn't sound right. And you and Ian are happy now. So what if in the past you had fun bonking this guy?"
"I really do have to go," Ruby said. "It wouldn't look good to be at the venue and be late for my meeting, would it?"
Cynth and Alice glanced at each other.
Then Alice said, "I am going to have to pick up Mia."
"Please don't tell Carson," Cynth pleaded on behalf of Ruby when she walked away from the table. "He is super tight with Ian and..."
Alice nodded. "I won't say anything. You have no idea how good I am at keeping secrets. But I do know this; Ruby will have to tell Ian eventually. She should be dealing with this latest feeling of doubt with her spouse."
Chapter Twelve
"Do I have to go to this fundraiser?" Ruby asked from under the confines of her comforter. "I am bushed. We did four weddings this week, every single day with a high- strung bride. Today's bride was the best, thank God."
She had come home earlier than usual for a Thursday evening, headed to the bedroom and found that Ian was getting ready to go to a fundraiser that the church was putting on for the Golden Age Home with which it was going to be affiliated. The band was going to play and he had already showered.
She had completely forgotten about it.
He swatted her with his towel. "Come on, Ruby. I've hardly seen you this week. You come in and then collapse in bed every night. I am going to be working flat out for the next couple of months, too."
Ruby looked up at him. He was gazing at her with a twinkle in his eyes. "I miss you."
He looked ripped and delicious and Ruby felt a twinge of guilt that she had actually entertained having a relationship with Rory.
&
nbsp; Ruby sighed. "I miss you too." She reached for Ian. "Come here."
Ian leaned over her and took her mouth into a scorching kiss. "Now get up," he said to her playfully. "Put on your dress and let's go. I want you with me."
"That's so unfair," Ruby groaned. "I am tired and I won't see you much tonight anyway. I'll go because you'll be playing."
"Not all night," Ian said. "We have the first set and then there are other groups. I'll sit with you for the rest of the evening, and we'll pretend we are on a date." He snapped his fingers. "Let us role-play. We are both high-schools seniors who are on a date. Remember your senior dinner at high school?"
"Yes," Ruby said slowly. She loved when they role played but seniors from high school was a bit too raw, especially right now. "I remember it quite well. My mother made me wear a really ugly purple floral dress that she sewed herself from a material that could only be described as wooly."
Ian chuckled. "I didn't want to go to my senior dinner. The girl I really wanted to go with, Gabrielle Paul, went with Logan instead. She was the prettiest girl in school. I tell you, Ruby, it was a blow." He pressed his chest and feigned a pain in his heart region.
Ruby grinned. "Who did you go with instead?"
"Loretta Stanley—very nice girl. Her mother was a Math teacher and apparently she loved the subject as well. She talked about square roots and probability for the entire evening." Ian grimaced, "I think I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of that dinner. She later told me that I was really boring and that she was sorry for any girlfriend I might have in the future."
Ruby chuckled. "I promise, I will not talk about mathematics at all."
"So who did you go with?" Ian asked, turning away to look in the closet for his clothes.
"I... er..." Ruby paused. "Rory."
"Rory?" Ian looked at her. "He has the same name as our pastor."
"It is the same Rory," Ruby said, hopping out of bed. "I must take a shower first."
Ian looked at her contemplatively. "So you do know him? Why didn't you say?"
"We... er... are... were. I just didn't think it was important," Ruby said quickly. "It was a long time ago."
Ian opened his mouth in disbelief and then snapped it shut. "Why are you acting so suspiciously?"
"I am not," Ruby said, looking back at him. "I just realized that the time was going. We will be late."
Ian frowned. "You are lying, Ruby. Ten years ago for you is not that long ago and that day we met the pastor at church you were acting strange."
"It's nothing," Ruby said shortly.
Ian shook his head. "No it is not. You told me that his wife was evil; what's her name again…You know stuff."
Ruby sighed. "Rory was my first boyfriend."
Ian shrugged into his black shirt and then spun around to look at Ruby. "Your first boyfriend was your first lover; that's what you told me."
"Yes," Ruby said. She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Her heart was beating erratically. What had she just done? She shouldn't have told Ian anything. This was going to cause an eruption in their lives; she knew it. She could feel him thinking through the door.
Ian was dressed by the time she got out and he was sitting on the bed, his hand steepled under his chin.
She pulled out her underwear from the drawers and pulled them on hastily, Ian was looking at her and not saying a word. She pulled on her trusty little black dress. All the while she was waiting for Ian to react.
She glanced at him and he was still staring at her, with no expression whatsoever on his face.
"Ready?" she asked, after the silence had stretched for what seemed like hours.
Ian nodded and then observed inanely, "We are both wearing full black."
"That's why I am going to accessorize with red," she said, grabbing her red purse and putting on her red shoes.
Ian was still contemplative when they were in the car. Ruby was not going to volunteer any information, but she was madly curious as to what he was thinking. She scoured her mind. What had she told him about her first boyfriend in the past? She couldn't remember but she was pretty sure that Ian with his elephant memory would draw up everything and dust it all off and jump to conclusions.
"Is this how you treated your senior date?" Ruby asked when they had driven up to the church. "Gave her the silent treatment?"
Ian parked the car and turned to Ruby. "I had to process what I just heard. I can imagine why you didn't tell me that you two were lovers. It is ironic that he is now our pastor isn't it?"
Ruby nodded. "Very."
Ian mused, "I am not going to rummage around in your past and ask you questions. That would be very uncool."
Ruby breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. It could have gotten a little awkward if I went into detail."
"I feel a need to be reassured that I am still the only man that you love, though," Ian said, tapping the steering wheel.
Ruby grinned. "You are the only man that I love."
"Seriously?" Ian asked leaning into her and staring into her eyes.
"Seriously." Ruby nodded emphatically.
"Good." Ian ran his finger along her cheekbone. "Then I refuse to get jealous. Let's go on our senior date."
Ruby hesitated before she left the car. Was it true, though? This constant thinking about Rory and referring to Rory was making her doubtful. Did she still feel something for him?
She held Ian's hand, and they walked toward the church hall.
*****
Rory was sitting beside Sue-Ann when Ruby walked in with her husband. He was supposed to give the keynote speech. They had just introduced him and Sue-Ann when Ruby walked in. She headed to the circular table in the back with Ian and his band friends. They were all there tonight, with their spouses or girlfriends.
Rory watched her as she sat down in an empty chair and greeted her friends. As usual, she looked gorgeous and was sparkling. He tried to stop himself from wishing that she was up here with him, instead of Sue-Ann, who was holding herself tensely ever since Ruby walked in.
He had an active dislike for Sue-Ann now. He could barely look at her. He found her repulsive. This weekend with her had been tense and formal. He had found that he hadn't been as good an actor as he thought he was because when Jade arrived at the house, she had picked up on the tension between him and Sue-Ann and he believed that had caused her to be withdrawn and extremely sad; she had even developed a fever. His daughter was going to have a hard time with the divorce; he could feel that already.
He hadn't been able to crack not even a smile in Sue-Ann's direction at church last week. He found it quite ironic that he had stared in Ruby's direction several times, though. He even remembered what she had worn: a yellow dress with a black band around the waist area, emphasizing her fabulous shape.
He shouldn't be feeling this way. He was a minister of the gospel, not sinless, but he had a higher standard to maintain. He took a deep breath and tried to zone into what was being said from platform. The mayor was giving a speech and he clapped in the appropriate places but he didn't feel as if he was all there. He felt confused and so bone-crushingly sad. He had wasted the last six years of his life.
Why hadn't he stopped Ruby that day when she was packing? Because a part of him thought that she wouldn't have left. A part of him had arrogantly thought that there was absolutely no way that she could have survived without him because frankly, he hadn't thought that he could survive without her.
He had stupidly assumed that she had needed to let off some steam and then she would be back. She had left their pictures together, her old teddy bear Rex, the one that she had loved to cuddle up to, and all of her colorful lingerie.
He still had them, along with their photos. He had kept them, and some days when he was feeling absolutely down, even before Sue-Ann's confession, he had taken them out and looked at them, reliving the years he spent with Ruby.
He looked in Ruby's direction again and she looked at him at the same time. She had been
talking to the lady beside her and was in mid-laugh but their eyes connected and they clung. Above the heads of the people and the distance between them he could read the question in her eyes. What are we doing, Rory? And he just drank her in, her perfectly smooth features, those finely arched eyebrows and dusky lips, and he couldn't answer. Right now he just wanted them to be together.
He wished that at this moment they could just walk out of the building, hand in hand, and fling caution and propriety to the winds. He wished that they could turn back time and relive their lives. But then his gaze shifted from Ruby's and he instantly realized that what he was thinking of was not going to happen. Her husband was staring at him as well, a dark scowl on his face. Ian shook his head, a small imperceptible move that was a warning.
Stop looking at my wife, his eyes shouted.
Had Ruby told him that they were once together? It seemed so. He dragged his eyes from their table and when he got up to speak. His eyes were inevitably drawn back to Ruby. Her head was held downward but Ian had his hands folded and was staring at him with a definite challenge apparent in his body language.
Rory kept his speech short and sweet. He used the text about the Good Samaritan and their Godly duty toward all men, but he wasn't really feeling it. He now understood why people who ministered had to have their houses in order. He was imparting the word while burdened with a myriad of personal problems.
When he finished speaking and exited the stage for the band to start playing, he felt like just getting into his car and driving home. But where was home? The place where he was living now with Sue-Ann was not home. He had not had a home for years. He had not had a home since Ruby left his life.
A hit of nostalgia had him inhaling sharply.
"Are you all right, Pastor?" one silver haired elder asked him.
Rory shook his head. "No, I am just going to step out for a while."
Sue-Ann looked at him, concerned. "Is there something I can help you with?"
Duet on Fire Page 9