Dash shrugged. “No.”
OH GOD YES!
FUCK ME!
I’M COMING!
I couldn’t think straight, “Could you please turn that off?”
Dash hit stop, the room finally going blissfully silent. I wished a hole would open under my feet and swallow me, the tips of my ears down to my toes flared bright red.
Dash sensed my distress. Jumping to his feet, concern etched across his features. “Did I do something wrong?”
I willed my body to calm, my embarrassment wasn’t Dash’s fault. He didn’t see anything wrong with it, just like waltzing around bare-ass naked. It was all he had known.
“No. There is nothing wrong with watching that if you want too. I mean sex is completely natural, right? Obviously, you found that in my collection so you know I like watching them from time to time. If you like watching them, then go ahead.” I plastered a smile on my face. If Dash enjoyed watching porn then I wasn’t going to stop him. He was free. He could watch whatever the hell he wanted.
“I’ve never seen anything else,” Dash said softly.
My heart sank deeper into my chest. “I have some favorite entertainment files that aren’t...” Say the word, Iris, “...porn. Would you like to watch one of those instead? We could watch it together.”
Dash’s eyes glowed. “I would like that.”
“Have you ever tasted popcorn?”
Dash shook his head.
“Get prepared for some deliciousness.”
“I will try my best.”
I snorted, laughter bubbled from my lips. I discovered every drop of embarrassment disappeared with the need to introduce Dash to some fun.
And popcorn.
Chapter Eight
*Iris*
Dash had been with me for two weeks. During that time, we had demolished every entertainment file that wasn’t porn, found pants that mostly fit, and managed to keep our hands to ourselves which was a practically impossible feat when we spent every night in the same bed.
I had discovered Dash hated to be alone. The second night we spent together I had, once again, tried to offer him the bed without me. The look of anxiety on his face at the idea caused me to tell him we could share.
It was good for making Dash feel better. It was bad when it came to my sanity.
Dash had also panicked slightly the first night I informed him that I needed to go out treasure hunting. A girl, and the cyborg she was currently housing, needed to eat.
Well, I needed to, Dash just enjoyed it. Cyborgs replenished their energy levels wirelessly, tapping into the energy pods that powered human’s electronics.
They could ingest food but it wasn’t necessary for their survival. My heart broke when Dash told me that he often got to smell food, wondering what it would taste like, but his owners never allowed him to taste it.
Honestly, my heart broke every time Dash brought up something from his past. He would casually toss out bits of information—all the norm for him but completely horrific to me.
Still, I felt shocked at how fast Dash adapted to becoming his own man. He now had more opinions than I had boxes of stuff and he was no longer afraid to share them. He also no longer worried about getting permission to do something.
Which is why he was currently swinging from the rafters in some abandoned building, his body launched itself from rafter to rafter, his hands grabbed steel as he laughed.
“That’s not funny, Dash. Get down from there!” I tried making the words sound like I meant them, but they came out with a small giggle.
Dash is one insane cyborg. He is also the best damn partner I never knew I needed. He’s taken to digging through abandoned buildings and searching for hidden treasures like he was born...well okay, created for it.
“Iris. I’m a cyborg. Even if I fell from this height I would suffer very little damage.”
“You aren’t indestructible, Dash, and I would prefer to keep you in one piece. Besides, you are just showing off. Now get down, Blueberry.”
A hard thud sounded as he landed beside me. Dusting his hands on his pants, he raised an eyebrow then frowned. “Why do you insist on calling me that? I am not a fruit.”
My laughter exploded inside the empty space and echoed off the walls. For all his trying to fit in, Dash still struggled with things that he referred to as odd human behavior. He was often far too literal to find the humor in sarcastic quips or jokes. It provided endless entertainment for me so I sort-of hoped he wouldn’t ever change. I liked my very literal cyborg.
I also loved the way he filled out those black cargo pants he was rocking. The soft fabric molded to his muscular thighs and beefy ass. There wasn’t an inch of space between the pants and his body. The dark gray t-shirt he was sporting hugged his massive arms and didn’t quite reach the top of his pants. Every time he raised his arms, it revealed a peek of his magnificent abs. He could put male models to shame. He was delicious perfection and I wanted a taste, his blue skin tempted me to try a lick.
I shook my head trying to recall the question. I was having difficulty focusing on anything except how sexy he was. Spending time with him had only increased my lust.
I tilted my head to him. “What did you ask again?”
Come on brain, get it together, I silently begged.
Dash crossed his arms over his chest. “I asked you why you insist on calling me Blueberry. Are you ever going to tell me, or are you going to keep scrambling my processors every time they try to figure out why you use it?”
I smile at him. “It’s a nickname. Something cute to call you.” Words. Holy hell I managed words! Go me!
“I am not cute. Cyborgs are not cute.” Dash’s mouth settled into a thin line as his eyes narrowed. I wonder if I offended him in some way.
“I’m sorry if you think cute is bad, Dash. To me being cute is a good thing, but if it makes you feel better, you are the hottest man I have ever laid eyes on.”
Oh, shit did I that just pop out of my mouth?
“I am appealing to you, Iris?” his voice lowered as he stepped closer.
My skin flared, skipping pink and going directly to burning, bright red.
“Of course, you are. You were made to be appealing,” as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them.
Dash took two large steps backward putting space between us. His eyes blazed with hurt.
I opened my mouth but he cut me off. “You are correct, Iris,” My name rolling bitter off his tongue, “I was created to be appealing, so appealing my owners couldn’t keep their hands off me. It didn’t matter if I wanted it. It didn’t matter if they used me with violence, forcing screams from my lips from the pain.” His jaw clenched, blue skin bunching around his eyes, his stare pained. “Do you know how much abuse it takes to truly hurt a cyborg? To leave lasting scars? My owners invented numerous and vicious ways to make it happen. I didn’t ask for someone to create me. I didn’t ask to be considered no more than a plaything for any sick human who could afford me,” his voice hardened to the point that I thought it might shatter me on the spot.
His shoulders fell. “I thought you were different. I dared to hope you found me appealing because you saw me, not the thing they created me to be.”
His every word was a barb to my chest, digging in painfully and without mercy.
Turning on his heel, he left me there standing like a fool. Mouth gaping, my hand clutched to my chest as shame burned its way through every part of me.
*Dash*
I left her there, her frantic heartbeat pounding in my circuits.
I spent weeks watching her when she thought I wasn’t paying attention, continuously smelling arousal she had tried to hide in my presence. My cock was hard ninety percent of my day. I found myself stroking myself in the bathroom every night like a human adolescent male.
I never wanted anything more than I wanted Iris. It bordered on madness. I still felt her arms around me and the way it felt to press next to her softness and warmt
h. No commands to touch her only made me want to touch her more. My hands itched to explore her pale skin. My eyes longed to see her skin slick with sweat and shared passion. My ears desperate to hear her scream my name as I brought her to climax again and again. My treacherous cock was growing hard right now at the thought. It had always betrayed me, but I had never felt more like a fool. I believed she wanted me for me, not because of my designation, that maybe I could truly be free. I had embraced that seed of rebellion, letting it grow under her smiles and welcoming words. Now it withered under the weight of the truth.
Iris had given me a name but she only found me appealing because of what I was. A fucking machine. An attractive sex toy prohibited from thinking about anything other than what my owner required.
I began to believe I was more. How could I revert to my original programming now?
I couldn’t go back. I didn’t want to. I also couldn’t walk away from Iris.
So, I did the only thing I knew to do. With pain zinging through my sensors, I closed my eyes and ordered my circuits to shut down.
Blackness swallowed me whole as I went offline.
Chapter Nine
*Iris*
I majorly fucked up. I had to find Dash and hoped I could convince him I hadn’t meant what I said. The appealing part yes, but I didn’t want him because of what he was. I wanted him because he was something special. A rare and unique man that I knew, even if I traveled to the ends of the earth and beyond, I would never find anywhere else.
I didn’t care about what he was. I didn’t give a fuck that he was blue or that his insides were metal instead of bone. He was sweet and thoughtful, smart, and kind, even in a world that had shown him nothing but torment and darkness.
He had a heart. He had a soul, I saw it whenever I looked at him. Now he thought I was like all the rest. I had to fix this.
Time to get your shit together, Iris. Time to stop fighting what you’ve felt since the moment you cracked open the box.
Dash was worth more than my pride. Dash was worth the risk.
I ran, chasing his footprints on the dusty floor. I rounded a corner and rushed into a back room and suddenly skidded to a halt. Dash’s outline met my eyes. His back turned to me; he stood entirely too still. He didn’t whip around to confront me. He didn’t spew more barbs to lodge in my chest. He simply stood there. It was almost as if he had shut himself down.
Oh god, what if he had? I had no clue how to turn him back on. Even if I could figure it out, how could I go against what he obviously wanted? I told him he was free to choose.
What if this was his choice?
The knowledge that I waited too long washed over me. Clutching my side, I wrapped one arm around my waist in horror and disbelief. My feet moved towards him slowly; my fingers shook as I reached out for his shoulder.
“Dash? I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I do think you are appealing but not because of what you are. I find you appealing because of who you are. You’re Dash. Stubborn and sweet. Kind and smart. I don’t care about what you used to be. The only thing I care about is you. Dash?” His name perched on my lips, my heart desperate for a response.
I hadn’t felt him move even the slightest under my touch. My fear of being too late appeared to come true right before my eyes.
“Dash? Say something please,” I whispered, my voice shaky and cold.
Still only silence.
Gathering my courage, I slowly stepped around his body. Maybe he was just not ready to talk. Maybe he was thinking about what to say in response.
Seeing his eyes, I knew the truth. His eyes were lifeless. The light inside them gone, replaced by only darkness.
I stumbled backward, my feet slipping through the dust before my back hit a wall, the stone pressing cold and smooth against me. It was as silent as my cyborg.
What the hell was I going to do now? I couldn’t toss a sheet over him and leave him here. Fucked again. Dash weighed more than I could carry. His still body towered over me. A giant blue problem he left me to handle on my own. All the hurt vanished as anger took its place. My fists clenched at my sides as I glared at Dash knowing he couldn’t see it.
To hell with it. Glaring made me feel better. “I’m pretty sure you can’t hear me but I’m going to talk anyway. Fuck you! And I don’t mean the get naked and get busy kind of fuck, Dash. How the hell do you think I can get you out of here? And you didn’t even give me a chance to explain! Normal people don’t have an off switch. They punch a wall or storm out and slam a door. Then they cool down and, when they are ready, they talk it out. Guess what, Blueberry? I will get you home, turn your ass back on, and when those pretty, blue eyes of yours open, you will listen to me. After, if you want to shut down again, fine. But we aren’t ending this way, you got it?”
My rant only echoed off the walls but it somehow helped clear my mind. I could resume being angry and hurt later. Right now, I had to find a way to get Dash out of here. Waiting around any longer than necessary was dangerous.
Two hours later, I managed to lug what felt like a half-ton cyborg to my truck and inside the back. Making a kind of sled, I pulled him outside. Even using the makeshift sled, it took every bit of my strength. Getting him on the sled required me to take a running tackle, knocking him to the floor. At first, I tried a nice push, but it was like pushing against steel. Mr. Blueberry refused to budge even an inch. After multiple attempts, I finally rushed him, slamming my body into his, the force just enough to topple him over.
The next problem, getting him into the truck. To make room, I had to unload every box in the entire thing; leaving all my collected treasures behind. I felt a wave of sadness as I stacked box after box into the abandoned building, but it was Dash or my things. He was more important than stuff.
Once my engine started up, I finally felt a sense of relief. I did it! My body collapsed into the driver’s seat as muscles I had never used groaned in protest.
“Destination home,” I gave the command as I sunk into the seat. The worn, synthetic leather molding around my exhausted body.
Once home, I dragged my tired ass out of the truck and spent ten minutes trying to get Dash from the back, but my strength finally failed. I had nothing left. I needed sleep before I could attempt another round.
My heart tugged at seeing Dash’s still body laying awkwardly against the cold metal floor. I hating to leave him. By the time I reached my bedroom, I knew I couldn’t do it. Every step made my stomach churn. My entire body protested at leaving him alone. I grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed and went back to the truck. I tossed the doors open and hopped in, crawling up next to Dash. I tucked my body tightly against his, giving me just enough room to lay beside him. It wasn’t going to be the most comfortable way to sleep, but I’ve had worse.
My fingers sought out his cheek, amazed it was still warm even in shutdown mode. What if he never woke up? I shook my head to banish those thoughts. If I could haul his half-ton ass all the way inside, I would find a way to bring him back online.
I needed a distraction. My gaze dropped to his lips. What would it feel like to kiss him? Of course, in all my fantasies Dash was participating not just lying there. Still, I couldn’t help myself. Just one kiss. On the cheek. That’s not creepy, right? Okay maybe it’s a tad creepy, but I needed something—a reassurance that he was beside me. Even with my body pressed against him, he still felt so far away. I leaned over and pressed my lips to his cheek, his skin warm and soft.
Somehow, he had become my cyborg and without him, I felt lost. I closed my eyes. “Goodnight Dash,” I said it knowing there would be no reply.
Chapter Ten
*Iris*
I spent the next few days trying to research everything I could about cyborgs. Created in 2217, technology finally developed to the level that allowed for advanced artificial intelligence. The cyborgs had turned out to be so much more. They weren’t simply computer programming stuffed into a human-looking body like older versions had been. These had a
spark; that elusive bit of magic that created life. These cyborgs had souls. The scientists had no idea what caused it. In their mind, the cyborgs were defective. They should act human but not truly be human. Something that can think for itself is dangerous. A group of stronger, smarter beings with that ability is terrifying.
The government and the organization that created them gave the order to destroy them. The destroyers provided designated places where owners could drop them off like they were discarding a piece of undesirable trash. They hunted down anyone who resisted. Raids were a daily occurrence. Some just wanted to keep what they viewed as their property. Others tried to protect them once they realized they were thinking and feeling beings. They forced anyone caught trying to protect them to watch while they destroyed their cyborgs in front of them.
I exhausted myself pouring over every bit of information I could find. Most of it made me sick instead of getting any me closer to discovering how to awaken Dash. Every night, I ended up curled against him, wishing him a goodnight before falling into an uneasy sleep.
This night was no different. Laying on my side, my fingers brushed against his cheek. His wide-open eyes stared at me, causing me to shiver slightly.
I longed for his never-ending questions and prickly replies. I wanted to see him hanging from the ceiling like a goddamn fool again.
“It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t found a way to bring you back,” I sighed, my fingers tracing over his frozen lips before I caught myself. It felt a little wrong, but I was growing desperate, beginning to think I would never find a way to bring him back online again.
Hopelessness settled heavy in my chest. I wanted to scream. I thought to grab his shoulders and shake him back into consciousness and rattle every circuit and piece of programming until the light was back in his eyes.
I curled my body tighter against him before gripping his cheeks softly. “I’m not giving up. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Even if the next time those eyes open I’m old and gray. I probably won’t be high up on your fuckable list, but it won’t matter. You will know I never stopped trying.”
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