Skye walked over to her window looking over the beautiful view from her room. It had been an adjustment at first to see nothing but trees, mountains, flowers, and just nature everywhere. She was so used to seeing tall buildings, gravel, concrete, and houses built so close that there was no such thing as privacy. Here there had been enough room for everyone to have plenty of land to themselves.
She had once asked how big this land was and her mother simply laughed and answered, “As big as it needs to be.” That had not really answered her question, but Skye figured that the way they looked at their world was different than the way everyone on Earth did. On Earth it was important to know how many miles it was from one place to another. It was important to know how many people existed there. It was totally different from this place. Here everyone was just content knowing that others did exist and that they were all happy.
Mike walked up behind her and stood silently behind her. She let herself lean into his body. He wrapped his arms around her softly, resting his head against hers. Skye knew that nature creatures like themselves liked the closeness of cuddling or even simply touching each other. She also had to admit she was afraid that she enjoyed it too much when it came to Mike.
“Mike… I don’t know if I can…” She began but was unable to say the words out loud to him. She felt him shake his head gently.
“You don’t have to say it, Skye. I know how you feel. I’m not here to pressure you into a relationship with me. I’m here because when you feel troubled or down I can feel it inside of me as if it were me feeling it. I just want to be here for you even if that means it can only be on a friendship type level.” His voice was understanding with no hint of sarcasm. She leaned her head back on his shoulder with a sigh.
“I am so comfortable when I am with you, yet I feel torn in two directions, Mike. I know I care for you and there’s a big part of me that just wants to be with you in that way.” she said.
“But?” he asked.
“But, I also know that I’m not able to give my all to you and you deserve better than that. I would be cheating you of the real experience of a girlfriend if I did. I can’t do that to you. I can’t hurt you like that.” He gave her a little squeeze and kissed her forehead.
“You do what makes you happy. If being with me makes you happy then of course I want you to be with me. Don’t decide not to be with me because you feel I won’t be getting what I deserve. All I want is to be with you Skye, so I could never feel cheated.”
His words struck her deep in her heart. She felt her bones turning to jelly as she imagined turning and taking his face in her hands. She imagined, once again, how soft his lips would feel on hers. She had once been kissed by him, but it was back on Earth and it had been rushed. He had kissed her out of jealousy because she had chosen to be with Maddox. This would be different and she knew that. She knew kissing him now would be an experience she would cherish. One that might leave a lasting impression on her heart.
The heat of his body was like a warm blanket around her on a cold winter’s night. She felt she could disappear into that heat and never regret it. Skye also knew she was never one to just make a decision because it felt right. She almost shook her head at the thought. She had done that once before and that decision ended up causing her more agony than she had known was possible. Maddox had ripped part of who she was right out and threw it away. She knew Mike would never do that to her.
Skye felt the battle inside of her raging and she almost turned to him. Suddenly she felt him let her go. She looked over her shoulder at him confused.
“I’m going out for a walk. I’ll see you for dinner.” He winked to her then left her room without another word.
Skye knew they had a connection due to what they were and what they were supposed to be to each other. Skye also worried that because of that connection he might have felt the inner struggle she had been fighting with herself. If he had, then he had done the only thing that made her feel free at that moment. He had walked away. She missed him immediately and couldn’t help but wonder if that had been part of his plan. She was thankful for the time to think.
Chapter Three
Skye sat at dinner that night feeling colder than normal. Mike wasn’t with them at dinner. He had told Gary he was going to explore the land a little more and wouldn’t be back until late that night. Skye couldn’t believe how much she felt like a piece of herself was missing with him gone. She had even placed her hand in his seat and frowned at one point.
“Skye, are you feeling unwell?” Cloud, unable to hold back any longer, asked. She had watched Skye throughout dinner and knew something was bothering her daughter. She had tried to give her space but the look on Skye’s face made her sad.
“I think I’m just tired. Is it okay if I go on to bed?” Skye had felt a bit surprised at asking to leave the dinner table. Growing up she had never had to ask permission. Her stepmother and stepfather had never had a real meal with her so she never had to worry about it. She knew she respected her parents enough to ask. It pleased her that she did have that connection with them.
“Of course sweetie. If you need anything please let us know.” Gary answered quickly.
He knew how kind hearted Cloud could be and she would want to make her some tea to help her. He knew his daughter enough by now to know when she needed to be alone. Skye smiled at them, took her plate to the kitchen and then rushed off to her room.
Skye stood out of her window as she did every day and looked out at the beauty before her. She felt like a rotten person. She was unable to appreciate the fact that she was surrounded by happiness and beauty. She couldn’t figure out why. She admitted to herself that she had missed Mike but that wasn’t the only thing.
“What’s wrong with me?” Skye muttered to herself frustrated.
“You’re still waiting.” She turned surprised to see Buck enter her room. Buck had become a great friend to her over the past year but he had never once entered her room. He paused to look over the room and laughed. “This room is so not you.” Skye made a face but couldn’t deny it.
“It’s who my mother thinks I am.” she said with a light shrug. “So what am I waiting on?” Skye asked remembering his statement when he had walked in her room interrupting her sulking.
“For the other shoe to drop.” Buck said as he sat on the edge of her bed looking up at her.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Skye said sitting on the edge of the window looking at him.
“Life has never been like this for you. You’ve fought and ran and fought some more. Your whole life had been one big battle either with demons, evil stepparents, or my wicked family.” Skye gave him a look of warning. He knew she did not like to talk about Maddox. It was hard enough to think of him, let alone hear his name.
“That’s not what life is like here though.” Skye stated the obvious.
“It doesn’t mean you aren’t waiting for it to change. Skye, just because things are going well now it doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept. I see the frustration behind your eyes and I know what it is because I feel the same way. In life when things are going well, there’s always some big evil around the corner waiting to destroy it. That’s the other shoe and we both have been waiting for it to drop.” Skye was amazed at how insightful he was being. He tried not to show that part of him to very many people.
“What if there is no other shoe? Then I’m just sulking around for no reason. What kind of person does that make me? I’m holding back on living my life and letting go of the past and moving towards a possible bright future because of a damned shoe!” she raised her voice and felt wonderful allowing herself to let it out.
“It makes you cautious. It makes you a person who has been through some hard shit in their life. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious.” He stood up to leave then paused turning back to her. “That is unless it’s costing you happiness.” She looked at him in shock.
“Buck, I think you’re about to overstep a line.” she war
ned him.
“If I do then so be it. You loved him, he hurt you. You have mourned him for over a year. I see a possible happy future here for you but you hold back because of the past.” He said the words in kindness yet she felt he was holding back. She wanted to ask why, then reminded herself it was better to not know sometimes.
“Are you encouraging me?” she asked.
“No, I’m not encouraging you. I am telling you to stop holding yourself back if it’s really something you want. You deserve to be happy Skye. No matter who that’s with.” Buck gave her a sad smile before walking out of her room.
Skye stood unmoving for several moments. Had the cousin of her former love just told her it was okay to move on? Had he seemed sad that she would? Or was he sad that he thought she wouldn’t? Skye knew he had been sad over one of the possibilities but she didn’t know which.
“I don’t know how to get back to happy.” she whispered to herself as she turned to look back out of her window.
“Hey, mind if I come in?” Kel asked at the entrance of the doorway. Skye laughed a little.
“Why not? Seems it’s a day for visiting.” Kel looked at her confused. Skye just shook her head. “Nevermind I’m just weird today.”
“I noticed that. Even more than usual I’d say.” Kel walked over to the window and put her arm around Skye. “Cloud is worried about you. She thinks you’re becoming depressed again.” Skye looked at Kel.
“Again? I know I was when I came here, I wasn’t aware that I stopped being depressed.” Skye said honestly.
“You did stop. You actually got much better. I think you forgot that you were supposed to feel sad for a while and you let yourself be happy.” Kel said.
“What does that even mean?” Skye asked.
“You have always been someone who takes everything so hard to their heart. He, who shall not be named, hurt you and you were miserable. You were under this fog and then you found your parents. You were so relieved to see them. It took you months before you were actually just a happy person, but you were happy.”
Skye thought on Kel’s words and wondered if they could be true. She had to admit to herself that it was hard at first meeting her parents. She had felt torn between extreme happiness and extreme sadness. Then she remembered crying every night for what felt like forever, but she did remember feeling a little lighter day by day until recently. She shook her head laughing.
“I’m stupid. How did I not notice I was happy? I was happy. I remember feeling sad and not letting it hold me back. I laughed and even danced with my parents.” Skye looked out her window to the beautiful meadow in front of it. “I danced with them there. That was the reason I first started coming to this window every day. I had been in such shock that night that I actually danced around happily like a…”
“Like an elf?” Kel teased her. “What the hell have you been doing this past year?”
“Is that a trick question?” Skye looked at her oddly.
“I’m serious, Skye. You’ve been learning your powers with your parents, dancing, laughing, and meeting so many new friends in your home that you’ve forgotten to be sad. Then the anniversary of ‘it’ came around.”
Kel didn’t need to say what the anniversary was out loud. Skye knew. It had been the anniversary of the day Maddox broke her heart. Skye felt silly for not noticing the correlation between her sudden sadness and the date. Skye looked to her dear friend with a sigh.
“I wasn’t a sad miserable shit this whole time then? Because I would feel really guilty about that. I have such great parents and have been so lucky to be with them along with some really great friends.” Skye said with a hopeful smile.
“You haven’t been a miserable shit until lately. Your mom doesn’t understand why but I’m certain your dad does. He was on Earth for a while and remembers what it’s like to be human. Buck, Mike, and I have talked about it and we knew it was coming. We had just hoped the date wouldn’t remind you of the sadness, but of other things.” Kel said softly.
“Other things… Like the fact I finally have a real family. Like the fact that I’m safe and cared for. Like I have the best friends in the world who care for me, even if one is a demon.” She raised her eyebrows playfully. Kel pushed her gently.
“Don’t talk about my man.” They both laughed.
“I really was a bad friend for a while. I knew you and Buck were getting close but then I missed out on you two finally getting together because I was busy feeling sorry for myself.”
“It’s okay we all get self-involved at times.” Kel was forgiving as always.
“Thank you. I needed someone to come here and pull me out of my self-pitying black hole.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Kel smiled.
“So… I know you and Buck got closer being here with me, but how did you two actually end up a couple?” Skye asked. Kel laughed at her.
“We were talking about you one night. We saw you staring out your window as always. I trash talked his… family member that caused your pain. He fought back and it was actually really hot. There’s something about an angry muscled demon trying to get me to stay quiet that actually turned me on.” Skye busted out laughing at her.
“Figures. Nice guys hit on you nonstop and never faze you, but it takes someone with a big mouth like yours to get your engines revving.” Kel’s mouth dropped open shocked, then she started laughing along with Skye.
“I need a real man. Someone who will fight with me and for me. Never thought it would be a demon.” As soon as Kel said it she regretted it. She hoped it wouldn’t hurt Skye. Instead Skye looked at her thoughtfully.
“I’m not built to be with a demon am I?” Skye asked. Kel knew she wasn’t being sarcastic, but truly curious about it.
“You could be built for anyone Skye, but I think you need someone who is going to be by your side to comfort you. I think you need someone that it’s not going to be a fight to be with. Your whole life was one big fight after another. I think you need to just feel cherished. Skye, you deserve to feel cherished.” Skye wanted to cry. Her friend was kinder than she felt she deserved. Instead, Skye just wrapped her arms around her beautiful friend and kissed her cheek.
“I can always count on you to put me in check.” Skye whispered as she held her friend.
“I am pretty awesome like that.” Kel whispered back. Skye laughed then pulled away from her friend and looked around her room trying to clear her mind then finally looked back at Kel.
“Where is he?” Skye asked.
“He goes to the same patch of flowers you go to when you’re sad. Over by the river.” Skye kissed her friend on the cheek once more and then rushed downstairs. She was about to go out the door until she saw her parents slowly dancing in the living room. There was no music, yet they held each other smiling. Skye walked into the living room and waited. Gary saw her first.
“Skye, are you alright?” he asked. Cloud turned to look at her daughter. Skye walked up to them with a smile on her face.
“I am now. I’m sorry that I’ve been out of sorts lately. I let some things from my past bother me and I shouldn’t have let that rule my mood.” Skye said to them both.
“Can we help?” Cloud asked concerned.
“No, I’m fine. Really I am. I had to work through some old emotions. I know that they are still there, but I’m not going to let them pull me down any longer. I’m going to live in the moment.”
Skye smiled to her parents. It amazed her how youthful and beautiful they both were. Gary’s bright eyes were enough to make anyone jealous and her mother’s smile was so genuine that if Skye hadn’t known better she would have thought Cloud had never been through anything bad in her life. She knew that wasn’t true though. Cloud had given up the man she loved and her only child at one point. Yet Cloud stood in front of her strong and resilient. Skye was thankful that her parents could be so wonderful. She wanted to always be deserving of them.
“Did you want to join us?” Cloud asked. “
There’s always room for one more.” Skye smiled to her parents.
“I might later. I need to go find Mike and see how he is.” Her parents simply nodded. Skye turned and walked out of the house feeling lighter than she had in months.
She walked slowly over to her favorite spot. It surprised her that he went to that spot as well, but then she realized it was just like him to do so. He was amazing, understanding, and warm. That was the thing about him that she couldn’t get over. He always made her feel warm. After a lifetime of feeling cold and alone, she didn’t feel that way with him.
Skye paused unable to move any further. She didn’t love him though. She shook her head arguing with herself. She did love him, but she didn’t love him like she had loved Maddox. The love she had with Maddox was all-consuming and left her feeling breathless. It took every part of herself away and filled it with pieces of him.
With Mike it was different. With Mike she kept who she was allowing him to share in that, as he did with her. She didn’t feel breathless, but comfortable. It was a feeling she never really understood until him. She had an energy that she hadn’t had with Maddox. She wondered which sort of love was the love you were supposed to have. Was it the love that left you breathless or the love that made you comfortable?
Skye started walking again trying to find the answer, but before she could come to a conclusion one way or the other he was there. He stood in the moonlight looking up at the full moon. The moon bathed his body in a radiant glow. Skye had always known he was handsome but at that moment he was brilliant. The elf in him was shining through. It was as if he were glowing.
Mike turned and looked into her eyes. She should have known he would have sensed her there. He always knew when she was around, the same way she always felt him. She knew a large part of that was because they were both elves. She felt similar when around other creatures like herself, but with him it went deeper. She could sense him with her eyes closed because he felt different to her. He felt warmer than others somehow.
Slivers of Skye (The Skye Chronicles Book 2) Page 3