by Nicola Rose
“She found us,” I whispered. “She came in and found him with his cock out. She tried to call the police. And he hit her. He…”
“I know,” Constance soothed, sitting beside me and resting a hand on my knee.
I pushed it away.
“I don’t need sympathy, but I need your help. Show me how to control this energy. I won’t ever be weak again.”
I was well aware how many times I’d told myself that – how I was going to suck it up and get a grip. It was like my daily mantra. I only hoped, prayed, that one of these days it would actually come true.
It might help if life would calm the fuck down for a second and stop throwing new crap my way. Sofia, Constance, Anna, Zac, Alex… I felt like a used rag being tossed back and forth between them, soaking up their bullshit and wringing my emotions dry in response.
Right then, it was Constance who had my attention, suddenly bursting with urgency that time was running out and we hadn’t trained enough. She didn’t seem particularly bothered about her failure to protect Sofia, which left a niggle in the back of my mind about what kind of woman she really was.
She was an ancient witch with her own agenda, firm in her belief that we were all just there to follow her lead. She might be insisting that my place in this puzzle was extremely important, but I shouldn’t trust her.
I didn’t trust anyone any longer. Not even my own heart which was aching and breaking, missing Zac and simultaneously wanting to kill and fuck Alex.
I refused Constance’s offer to drive, forcing her onto my bike, and smiling at how it must have looked to have a power-suited granny on the back of a Ducati Monster. I rode us to our decrepit training ground and we spent hours practicing. Hours and hours, going round and round. We finally progressed from the basics and she taught me new things – like closing a door with my will alone. At least, that was what she wanted me to do – but actually making it happen was another matter.
It was all very well having strength and extremely violent outbursts when threatened – I’d incinerated that cop on the spot! – but what good was it if I couldn’t summon that energy at will? I couldn’t see how closing a door was going to protect me from my enemies, but Constance insisted I wasn’t ready for anything big until I could manage the small.
At least I could light candles pretty easily now. Yeah, I was definitely getting somewhere.
I wanted to keep going, but in the end she booted me out, telling me that three hundred year old witches needed their beauty sleep. That she was extra tired these last few weeks, perhaps because of the adrenalin of finally finding me.
Before leaving, she handed me a dagger in a leather sheath, holding it out like it was a treasured artefact.
“It’s pure silver,” she’d said. “Keep it close at all times, for emergency vampire encounters.”
I laughed at the idea, but then remembered how effective William’s silver had been. I mean, it was his spells that caused the main problems, but the silver had hurt them. So I took the knife, and she sighed with relief.
After I saw her safely back to her new apartment, I wandered outside and found Alex leaning against my bike – looking bored, like he was waiting for a bus.
“Fun lesson?” he asked.
“What do you want?”
“I’m taking you for your other lesson. That’s the deal. If you’re going to train with her, then you’re sure as shit going to keep training with me too. You need strength and speed to go along with that door slamming and candle lighting if you really want to annihilate your enemies.” His grin was infectious. I bit my tongue to hide my own.
“You heard everything we said?”
“Vampire ears, sorry.” He shrugged away from my bike and waited for me to mount. Then, to my utter surprise, he hopped on the back.
“What are you doing?”
“Letting you drive. If Constance can handle your riding skills, then I can. Come on, let’s see what you’ve got.” He pressed against me, arms sliding around my waist. I could feel his grin against my ear.
I pulled on my helmet and gave up trying to stifle my smile. The relief of letting go was overwhelming. I set it free and nearly split my damned cheeks as I wheelied away and raced us down the highway.
18
Jess
Alex was the embodiment of raw sexual energy.
In his presence you could literally feel his power charge the air. His every movement spoke of confident dominance, of a man who would not be defied… ever.
He had sat at my feet once, when he summoned me to his mansion with the threat of killing Anna, and his subservient posture had disarmed me. It didn’t feel right. It aroused me, and disgusted me, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Now he’d sat behind me on the bike, and it felt similar. Wrong, and right. Maybe I was reading too much into it. He was just being a pillion passenger, nothing unusual. But he’d given me control, and it seemed to have meaning. It was something that Zac always tried to keep in check. He told me what to do and blamed me for his own issues. Alex was different. He still held all the power, but sometimes he let my own slip through his cracks. He wanted me under his command, but he also wanted me to be strong.
That didn’t change the fact that he was still a complete asshole, with a lot of explaining to do.
Zac is an asshole, who avoids explaining anything… and you let him get away with it. So why not Alex?
I stepped into the training garage, grateful that he had a better location than Constance. An old air-con unit buzzed angrily, bringing welcome relief from the sun outside. I shivered, goose bumps breaking out on my skin – admittedly, not entirely due to the air temperature. Anticipation of releasing my anger in a fight with him had my heart racing.
Alex stripped off his t-shirt and made a show of warming up, stretching out his muscles, every inch of him tightened and toned to perfection. Black, tribal tattoos rippled and danced with his movements. I gawked with an eyebrow quirked.
“What?” he asked, all feigned innocence. “You should relieve yourself of some clothing too. It’s easier to train when you feel free.”
Shaking my head, I stepped over to the punch bag, pulled on some gloves, and started hammering the shit out of it. I’d already warmed up my muscles plenty with the energy that Constance had me use. And as if the fucking vampire needed to warm up. Jerk.
“Save some fight for me,” he commented, pausing to observe my attack on the bag.
“Oh, I have plenty for you, and I’ll have even more after you try again to explain why you let me believe all this time that Anna was dead?” I whacked the bag with bad form and my knuckle cracked.
“She was feral. You’d have lost it if I’d shown you. Plus, she’d have tried to kill you. Newly turned vampires are often more drawn to loved ones in their bloodlust.”
“And now?” I was getting myself out of breath already. I reluctantly slowed my pace – side-step, punch, repeat.
“Now… she’s a little better, but I’m not Zachariah, I’m not training her to hold back. I’ll train her to be free, not restrained by the boundaries of morality.”
I stopped, glaring at him. He’d made Anna – my sweet little sex-geek – into a killer.
I killed Carter… and I liked it.
“How do you feel when you think about the people you’ve killed?” I asked quickly before I could swallow the question back down.
“I think you know the answer to that. Are you looking for reasons to forgive yourself for how you feel?”
Of course he was indifferent and had no remorse. He was a vampire. But I was human. I should feel differently.
“Were you really planning on killing the other cop, all along?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d like to think I meant it, but you’re fucking with my badass scales. I keep tipping towards wanting to please you. I’m losing my balls, right?”
I glanced him up and down. There was no way the man before me could be accused of being weak. He was any
thing but. The darkness flowed around him in a thick, tangible wave… alluring, seductive.
“They probably deserved it anyway,” I shrugged back. “But if they deserved it, then what of you?”
He moved slowly toward me, predatory. On purpose, no doubt. My heart thrashed against my ribs.
“I might have a penchant for taking women any way I want them, and yes…” he took hold of my hand and pulled the glove free. “Sometimes I take their life, but I usually make it enjoyable for them.”
“Are you serious? You think that makes it OK?” I stepped away, throwing the other glove down.
“No, I don’t pretend to be redeemable. I’m just pointing out that I do have some empathy. Zachariah has made you believe I’m pure evil, but that’s the Bael, that’s other vampires, not me.”
He closed the distance between us again, letting me know that no matter how much I side-stepped, he was coming back for more.
“If we want to, our bite releases endorphins into the prey to disable them. They quite literally feel on cloud nine whilst we’re sucking them dry.”
I had no idea how he managed to make those words sound so erotic, but I pressed my thighs together against the unsolicited desire. Ever had a vampire suck on your inner thigh?
“What did you do with them? The dead cops?” I gasped, trying in vain to remove my thoughts from those of reaching out the small distance between us and touching him.
“Dealt with it. Spirited the bodies away and messed with a few minds – anyone who had seen you that night, the store guy who had you entering the alley on CCTV – all the usual shit that needs fixing in a cover-up. It’s no big deal.”
No big deal. He did it all the time. He was a killer.
Zac is a killer. You are a fucking killer!
“Anyway, quit analysing my actions that night and take a look at your own,” he said. “What the hell was that about? What were you thinking? You’re OK with rape?”
“Of course not. I thought she was consenting at first. Then… it’s just… You know I’m into edgeplay. Sometimes I go too far. I have these self-destructive tendencies and I get some twisted kick out of situations that put me in danger. I used to think I was just sick. Now I know I’m sick, but at least I can partly blame my magic. The way it rises, the buzzing—”
“You chase it down.”
“Right.”
“Yet, there’s a dangerous vampire right here, ready to devour you, and you deny him?”
I tried to ignore the way my skin was tingling with the need for his touch. Really, how long could I keep up that denial? I knew it was bullshit. He knew it… “It wasn’t just Zac that warned me away from you. It was Eva, Leon… all of them.”
“And you trust the preachings of zealots? Zachariah’s Cell are a cult. They worship him.”
Was that right? They did seem to follow him without question.
“Where are your Cell? Zac was never apart from his men.”
“Like Anna said, some of them deserted – the ones I’d left behind on the island with her. It wasn’t hard to track them down and have them eradicated.”
“Eradicated by whom?”
“By the rest of my Cell. The loyal ones. They’ve been ordered to stay with the Unaligned. You could say they’re getting acquainted and ironing out some hierarchy issues.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“What? I don’t take orders. Syn is learning this. Slowly. Painfully.”
Was he now. And who was this Unaligned group really? Was it true that they meant to help us? “I don’t know what to think any more. I can’t tell what’s allowed and what isn’t,” my voice wobbled.
“So stop trying. Anything is allowed. You can have it all, you know. Every pleasure, yours for the taking.” His hand absently ran up my arm, settling on a firm grip near the top, and the goose bumps multiplied. “I hold the key to the shackles that bind you. I can set you free.”
Don’t trust him. Just because his blue eyes sparkle and his words whisper to your sick heart.
Do. Not. Trust. Him
I leant into him and let my lips graze the plane of his jaw, feather light. A low hiss escaped him. Heat ran straight down my spine. I wanted to press my lips harder, to taste him…
Getting my foot between his legs, I lifted my knee up hard and ducked free, bringing my guard up immediately, ready for the retaliation.
He smirked, barely fazed by the dirty move that would put most guys on the floor.
“Striking the enemy when they’re distracted and vulnerable? Good girl, there’s hope for you yet.” His finger lingered a second where my lips had been, but he didn’t give me any time to bask in his praise, he was already on me, feinting left and right, and throwing punches.
Only pretend, sparring hits of course. If he fought me the way he could then I’d have been plastered over the far wall. I kept my hands up to guard my face and tried to stay light on my feet, shifting around, looking for an opening to strike.
Futile. He struck me, gently, every time, and I never got another hit on him. But that didn’t stop me putting everything I had into trying. He chastised my every move, telling me what I was doing wrong and showing how to do it right. After half an hour I was drenched in sweat and barely able to breathe.
But I felt amazing. The burning ache in my muscles was welcome. It helped to lessen the ache in my heart.
Eventually he stepped back, thinking I was done.
Fuck that.
I hadn’t landed a single hit. I was dying from exhaustion, whilst he looked pristine, but I was in no way done. I launched at him, spinning to the side at the last moment and aiming a roundhouse kick for his head. He dodged, with a surprised laugh, and I went straight back in with a sidekick to the abdomen. He caught my heel and it was only his strength that stopped me landing on my backside.
I growled in frustration and let out a yell.
“Don’t get angry,” he said. “If you lose control, then you’ve lost the fight.”
I froze.
“What?” His brow furrowed.
“Those sounded like someone else’s words, not yours.”
“I’m not out of control, darlin’, I never have been. If I appear that way, then it’s because I choose to.”
“And do you want to lose control now?”
“You know that answer.” His eyes were like windows to another world, one I couldn’t understand. Still, I stood there, gazing into them, desperate to comprehend what lay beyond.
“So why haven’t you? Lost it?” I swiped at the sweat on my forehead. “You’re supposed to be the wild one that takes what he wants, especially now you’re all Legacy’d up. Zac isn’t here. Why don’t you just take me if you want me?” Was that pleading in my voice? I clamped my mouth shut. Too late, the words are out.
“That would be too easy. I’m enjoying having a challenge for the first time in my life. Perhaps I’m on the road to learning that some things taste better if you earn them first.”
“I’ll never choose you,” I muttered.
“I beg to differ.”
“I don’t want you.”
“You realise who you’re trying to lie to here, right? It’s no use lying to me, you can only kid yourself.”
I made for the door. Time to leave.
“Apologies, my vampire senses must be shot to shit. I could swear I can feel your heart hammering, hear your quickened breathing, sense the sweat in your palms.” He placed a hand on my hip, halting me. “The nuance in your voice, the way it’s gone deeper.” Pressing close to me. “I can smell the arousal between your legs.”
“Fuck you!” I wriggled free. He didn’t fight it, only laughed. “You’re a vampire and you cheat with your supernatural magnetism. That’s it, nothing deeper.”
19
Jess
In truth, my feelings for Alex were so deep I could get lost for years trying to reach the bottom to analyse them. So I used every bit of willpower I could find to force them deeper still. To bury them. As soo
n as I started thinking of him I’d use the adrenalin produced to practice my magic. That soon distracted me, and gave an outlet to all the anger, fear, and arousal.
I didn’t hear a single word from Zac. I thought that Eva might have called, to offer me something… some consolation. But she didn’t, and worse, she ignored all my attempts at calling her. Whilst I was trying to suppress my thoughts of Alex, I did the opposite with Zac. It wasn’t healthy, but I thought of him constantly, hoping he could hear, that he could feel.
I settled into a rhythm, meeting with Constance every other day to train and with Alex in between for physical training. Anna had disappeared. Alex told me not to be offended. He said she was figuring stuff out, learning who she was. She needed time, then I’d get my friend back.
I wasn’t sure I wanted her back any longer, and that made the guilt even sharper than when I thought I’d got her killed.
Weeks passed. I was feeling stronger and fitter than ever before. When I was with Alex I kept it strictly professional. I would leave the moment he tried any smooth-talking or Zac-bashing. He soon learned to keep quiet if he really wanted to help me.
Constance was pretty tight-lipped too, but I wanted different from her. I tried to get her to open up about the grand plan for bringing down the Bael – she just maintained that it was better, and safer, if I knew less at this point. She wanted to get me powerful first, then she’d let me in on the big Morena secrets. It was bullshit. I knew she was only keeping quiet because she knew I wouldn’t like what she had to say. Whatever she was planning, it was going to put Zac in danger, and Alex. But what choice did I have, other than to go along for now? At least it was some kind of plan, better than sitting around doing nothing.
She was acting increasingly weird. Tired, cranky, distracted. But then, I didn’t know her. Maybe that was normal for her. It seemed to be getting worse though. Her immaculate appearance was slipping, a slight dishevelled edge surfacing.