Fate

by Wylder, Tia

  “God, Daniel, I could stay in bed with you all day,” she hummed, burying her face in his pillow. His heart gave another pang, and he offered her an awkward smile.

  “Well, we do have to prepare the house for my daughter, tomorrow. Today, it’s just us, but... I’ll prepare breakfast for the two of us in the meantime,” he offered, shifting towards the door. Tiffany chuckled, sitting upright and allowing the sheet to fall away from her. Her breasts swayed temptingly as she leaned forward, crossing her arms under her chest.

  “Isn’t that my job? I have become something of a homemaker after all. Seems you’ve put me in my rightful place after all,” she teased. He chuckled, a rather humorless sound.

  "Oh, it's no trouble. You simply… get dressed and meet me downstairs," he forced out, turning his back on the woman and slipping out of the bedroom. He knew he was being unbearably awkward, but he wasn't sure how to approach the woman the day after their lovemaking-- sex. Their sex. What they had done wasn’t making love, because they were not in love with each other… despite the feeling in his heart. Despite the words, Tiffany had uttered when she thought him fast asleep. He shuffled downstairs, feeling a familiar emptiness at not seeing his daughter already flitting around the house. He knew she was simply with her mother, and he would be picking her up tomorrow at the latest, but he couldn’t help the ache that nearly overcame him at the thought of losing her altogether. Though that seemed an unlikely prospect with the arrangement he and Tiffany had, he was beginning to have second thoughts about the entire facade. He sighed, cracking some eggs into a pan to fry. He could hear Tiffany beginning to meander down the stairs, though he tried to pay her little mind as he prepared their breakfast. He shuffled away from the stove, slipping two pieces of bread in the toaster. He felt her approaching him from behind, unable to stop himself from stiffening as she wrapped her arms around him.

  “What are we going to do today, without Amanda here?” Tiffany inquired teasingly, and Daniel couldn’t help but stiffen in her grip.

  “I need to do some grocery shopping, maybe just take some time to relax and read a book I’ve been meaning to catch up on,” he answered vaguely. He could only hope it wasn’t painfully obvious that he intended to do these daily activities along, but Tiffany caught the hint, allowing her arms to slip away from him.

  “That sounds… fun,” she muttered, not bothering to mask her scorn. “But if you really want to sell this relationship thing, you’ll have to step your game up a bit.” She taunted. It was obviously an attempt to tease him, but something about the words struck him entirely the wrong way. He wheeled around to face her, narrowing his eyes critically.

  “Seems I did that well enough last night, wouldn’t you say?” Daniel bit out snidely. Tiffany’s eyes widened, and she looked briefly wounded. However, she soon recovered, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were already having regrets about the entire thing,” she retorted. Daniel remained silent, continuing to prepare breakfast. Tiffany exhaled a weary sigh, stepping away from him and slipping into the dining room. He knew he should comfort her, he knew he should assure her that his regrets were certainly not due to a lack of attraction. However, it was all he could do to focus on preparing breakfast. Once the eggs were done, he plated them and carried them into the dining room. Tiffany sat at the opposite end of the table, resting her head in her hands. Guilt sank its gnarled claws into him, and he parted his lips to speak. “I didn’t expect you to regret something as simple as sex. I know you're attracted to me. What difference does it make if there's no emotion behind it?" He smirked with biting remarks, “It would be just as well, were there a mutual lack of emotion.” She looked up at him, eyes wide with an emotion he couldn't quite recognize.

  “What are you even talking about?” She demanded, and he chuckled hollowly, serving up her eggs and toast.

  “Nothing. Just eat your breakfast,” he bit out. She stared at him through soulful eyes, and he cursed the fact that it seemed as if she could see into his very soul as well. Just then, his cellphone began to ring. He glanced towards her, unable to tear his eyes away for a moment. The phone jingled obnoxiously, and he gritted his teeth, turning his back on her to go grab his phone from where he had left it the night before. The battery was reading low, and it was fortunate he could manage to even get a call at any rate. Recognizing the number as Melody's phone, he answered in a gruff voice. "What is it, Melody?" He groused. He heard an uncomfortably shuffling on the other line and a soft voice hum uncertainly.

  “Daddy, are you okay?” His little girl inquired awkwardly, sounding almost afraid. He cursed himself internally, cursed Tiffany as well, before pulling himself together.

  “I’m fine, sweetheart. What do you need?” Daniel replied gently, gripping the phone tightly in his hand. Amanda hesitated, and he swallowed a sigh as she hummed a moment before speaking.

  “Momma wanted to invite you and Miss Tiffany over for dinner tonight. She said something about an olive branch, but I don’t really know what that means,” she admitted shyly. Daniel tensed despite himself, knowing that they were supposed to be on better terms with his ex-wife from this point out. However, the thought of dealing with the awkwardness with his fake lover as well as his ex-wife seemed nearly too much to bear. “Please, Daddy? I really want to see you," Amanda whispered, and his heart nearly broke in his chest. Of course, he would do whatever his daughter asked him, he was wrapped around her delicate little finger. He decided not to give the argument with Tiffany another thought, forcing a smile although Amanda couldn’t see it.

  “We’ll be there later, honey. Don’t you worry. Tell your mom we thank her for inviting us,” he replied amicably, suddenly aware of Tiffany’s eyes upon him from the doorway of the dining room. He gritted his teeth, feeling inexplicably angry at how awkward the entire situation had become. All because the foolish woman had developed feelings for him. Who cared if he had developed feelings of his own, he had never intended upon acting on them. “Bye honey,” he muttered to his young daughter, voice strained. She sweetly bid him a good day as well, before they both hung up.

  “So, I take it we have plans,” Tiffany mused quietly. Daniel turned to face her, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Assuming you can hold yourself together,” he retorted. She narrowed her eyes at him, the smallest of tears pricking at the corners. He felt a grim sense of satisfaction, knowing that the only solution for dealing with her feelings for him was to nip them in the bud, so to speak.

  “Why would I have a problem holding myself together? Just because you agreed to take my virginity?” She asked hoarsely. Anger and guilt surged through him, melding together in an uncomfortable combination. He stepped towards her, eyes narrowed intensely.

  “I’m more concerned with the reason you allowed it in the first place. It was obviously a mistake, rooted in misplaced feelings. I had expected to go into this entire thing with a grown woman, not someone childish,” he gritted out. She glared, reaching out to jab her finger against his chest.

  “Why are you being such a dick suddenly? Just because I wanted to wait to lose my virginity doesn’t make me a child. You’re the one acting like a child. Amanda is more mature than you are when the two of you are angry. I’m beginning to understand why Melody felt the way she did,” she hissed. Daniel’s heart felt as if it were breaking, but his brain buzzed with sheer fury. He stepped towards her, smiling a saccharine sweet but quite obviously fake smile. He gripped her by the chin, and she struggled against him, pushing against his chest.

  “You want to know what the difference is between those two situations, Tiffany? You want to know why you’re different than Melody?” He inquired icily, his heart pounding in his chest. Tiffany’s eyes widened in primal fear, and she struggled even harder to get away from him. It was as if she knew the venom he was prepared to spit, and wanted to shield herself before it killed her. "I loved Melody. We loved each other. Melody wasn't a foolish wo
man with a foolish crush,” he sneered, getting right in her face. He watched as her face crumpled, and though his chest ached at the sight, he knew it had to be done. At least, he had thought it had to be done. He was beginning to question himself now that the wind was slipping from his sails.

  “I…,” Tiffany began, jerking away from him and drawing her hands to her chest. It was as if she was feeling a sudden pain in her chest, and Daniel could only assume it was heartbreak. His anger dissipated, and he parted his lips to sputter an apology. Tiffany did not give him the chance. “I was wrong about you. I thought you… I thought you were a nice guy. I thought you were a good guy. But I was mistaken. I fell in love with someone who truly doesn’t exist,” she muttered. He stared at her, watching quietly as she edged past him and towards the door. She grabbed her keys, and fear washed over him as she opened the door.

  “Tiffany, you absolutely cannot quit on me now. What about my daughter? What about this whole charade,” he cried out, desperately trying to backpedal.

  “I need to think,” she murmured. She looked towards him, a heartbreaking pain shining in her eyes. Then, she slipped out the door and towards her car. He watched her go for a moment, pondering all the things he could say to remedy the situation. He gritted his teeth, lurching towards the door of her car.

  “If you won’t talk to me and handle this like adults, I have no desire for you to come back tonight. If this is truly over, I never want to see you again. I won’t have you break my,” he paused, catching her gaze. He swallowed, steeling himself. “I won’t have you break my daughter’s heart,” he muttered. She met his gaze, holding it for a long moment. Tears streamed down her face, but the look in her eyes is what truly startled him. It held an emptiness, a sheer lack of emotion that he had never seen in the woman’s eyes before.

  “Goodbye, Daniel,” she whispered, shifting the car into gear. He had to leap away from the car as it lurched backward out of the driveway, just to avoid being struck. He watched her go, his heart pounding in his chest as bile rose in his throat. What had he done? Was this what he had wanted? Had he truly wanted to push her away? He watched as her car raced down the road, disappearing into the distance with the sound of squealing tires. Concern washed over him, but it was quickly replaced with self-righteous anger. If she was so willing to throw this all away, if she had been willing to throw it away just for a chance to sleep with him, he couldn’t blame himself for her leaving. He turned his back, a sense of dread washing over him as he stepped back into the house.

  He had to distract himself from what had happened, but first he had to break the news to his beloved little girl. He knew how dearly she had loved the woman he shared a fake relationship with, but knew that he couldn’t let her believe that Tiffany was going to come back. Not after what she’d said. Not after what they had said to each other. Deciding to get dressed and break the news to his daughter in person, he got dressed, trying to mask his misery by washing his face with cold water. He grabbed his own keys before stepping back outside, looking at the burnt rubber along the asphalt of his driveway. He swallowed thickly, slipping into his car and turning the ignition. The radio played a sorrowful love ballad, but he quickly switched it off. He reasoned that being alone with his thoughts certainly had to be a better option than listening to tales of love gone wrong. That’s not what this was, and it wouldn’t benefit him to entertain that idea. To think it was love gone wrong would require admitting his feelings for Tiffany. She was the poor girl who had caught feelings for the wrong person, not him.

  He swallowed his pride, turning the radio back up and belting out the lyrics to the song. Tears pricked at his eyes, but he would not allow them to fall. In the distance, he could hear the wail of a siren, nearly drowning out the radio. However, he simply turned up the volume, turning the bass up full blast. He screamed along with the song, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He knew he was being ridiculous, knew he shouldn’t feel as if his heart was breaking within his chest. He had to focus on his daughter, and how he would comfort her.

  Melody's apartment complex soon came into sight, and he pulled into the parking lot. His little girl was riding her bike back and forth on the sidewalk, and he could spot his ex-wife lingering towards the side of the building. He opened the car door quietly, slipping towards Melody before Amanda could spot him.

  “Can I have a smoke?” He inquired gruffly, and Melody quirked a brow, looking as if she had something snide to say. She seemed to rethink it, however, as he felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

  “Goddammit, Daniel,” she muttered, giving him a menthol cigarette. She lit it for him and he took a long drag before exhaling the plume of smoke. Melody looked fully prepared to give him a piece of her mind, apparently able to piece things together to an extent from the fact that Tiffany was not with him. However, she fell silent as their daughter leaped off her bike, rushing towards the two of them.

  “Daddy! I’ve never seen you smoke before. Are you alright? ...Where’s Miss Tiffany?” She asked in a rush, her words coming faster and faster. He felt a sense of shame wash over him as tears pooled in the young girl’s eyes and she wrapped her arms around him before burying her face in his stomach.

  “Miss Tiffany is gone, honey. I… I don’t think she’s coming back,” he managed, wrapping an arm around his daughter’s shoulders. She sobbed against his stomach, gripping him tighter.

  “But you said it wouldn’t be like with mommy. You said Miss Tiffany would be different. I thought… I thought… she said she loved me,” the girl wept.

  “I know, honey. I thought it… I thought it would be different. But she… no, I screwed up,” he admitted, the guilt washing over him in full force. His daughter drew away, and she looked to her mother imploringly.

  “Can daddy stay here with us tonight, mommy? Please?” She implored, and before Daniel could argue, Melody rested a hand on his arm.

  “You’re in no shape to be driving like this. You messed up, Danny, but I won’t see Amanda lose her father over this. Stay and have dinner with us at least, I want you to pull yourself together before you drive home,” Melody gently maintained her gaze into his eyes. He wanted to argue, wanted to argue that he had to find Tiffany. If he was in no shape to drive, he could only imagine the shape she was in. However, the protest died on his lips as his daughter sobbed out another cry, clinging to his leg.

  “What do I do, Melody?” He implored. “I know I have no right to ask for your help, but… I love her. I really do,” he admitted, more to himself than the woman before him. She took another long drag of her cigarette before stomping it out, taking Amanda by the hand.

  “We’ll have dinner, the three of us, and tomorrow you can go looking for her. Tell her you’re sorry. Just make sure she knows how much you love her. Shithead or not, you’re not an altogether bad guy, Danny. I’m sure she loves you as much as you love her, if not more so. And, as much as I hate to say it, things just wouldn’t feel right without her around. Not just for Amanda’s sake, but for yours as well,” Melody muttered, looking torn between wanting to smack and embrace her weeping ex-husband. He nodded, and Melody led both him and their daughter into her apartment, where the scent of home fried chicken wafted freely through the air. The scent was tantalizing, but sadness gripped Daniel’s heart at the thought that he could not share it with the woman he loved. The sentiment seemed shared by the others in the apartment, and Melody gently soothed Amanda’s tears before moving about setting out plates for everyone. The meal was eaten in silence. Despite wanting to begin searching for Tiffany, Daniel knew he had an obligation to see that his daughter was alright. Melody threw a sheet and a pillow on the couch, and although he and her mother were getting along, Daniel mused that Amanda seemed no more soothed for it.

  “Daddy, you have to find her. You just gotta. Tell her we love her,” she sobbed, curling up on the couch with him. He wrapped his arms around his sweet baby girl, muttering soothing word into her ear.

  “We’ll find her, baby g
irl. Everything will be okay. I promise,” he murmured. She drifted off into a restless slumber, and it was all Daniel could do to follow suit. He had no idea if the words he’d said were true. He had no idea if they would find Tiffany, or if she would even want anything to do with him. He shuddered to even consider the alternative: never seeing her again and him never getting the chance to reveal his feelings. If only he had been up front, instead of trying to fight what they both knew was right. If only he had been forthcoming with her, instead of afraid of his feelings. Now his daughter was left to suffer, and he only had himself to blame. Shifting carefully, he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed Tiffany’s number. He allowed hope to well in his chest as the phone rang, waiting for her to answer. However, after what seemed an eternity of ringing, her voicemail answered. Tears sprung to his eyes at the sound of her sweet voice, and he spoke shakily into the phone. “Tiffany… please come home. Please,” he pleaded, before hanging up the phone. He could only hope that somehow she would hear it. He could only hope that tomorrow would somehow be a better day. However, something deep within him told him that things may not be so simple. Shaking off that thought, he allowed his eyes to flutter shut. With his daughter gripped tightly into his arms, he drifted into the most fitful slumber of his life. His dreams were haunted by images of Tiffany rejecting him, laughing at him, telling him how much she hated him. When he woke up the next morning, he had no idea that the matter would be so much worse than his dream. So much worse.

  Chapter Seven

  Despite wanting to spend the next day searching for Tiffany, Daniel knew his obligations lie with his job and his young clients. He kissed his little girl on the forehead before bidding her goodbye, thanking Melody for allowing him to stay the night. She still considered him with a familiar disdain, but there was also a rather haunted expression in her eyes. It seemed she was rather put off by Tiffany’s disappearance as well. Daniel’s heart ached at the thought of the curvy woman, and how she managed to make everyone fall in love with her. Specifically, his heart ached at the way she had managed to make him fall for her charms. He started the ignition of his car, driving to the private pediatric clinic he worked for. The drive was a long and lonely one. The fact that there would be no one waiting for him at home really troubled him. He had let down his daughter, he had even managed to disappoint his ex-wife one last time. More than anything, however, he had pushed away the one woman who could salvage his broken heart. He would begin searching for her as soon as his shift was over. Maybe if he was lucky, his boss would even allow him to take off early. He had checked his schedule, and if he recalled correctly, he didn't have too many patients today. However, even one patient seemed one patient too many.