She ignored the giggling and the flirty comments from the other side of the table while trying to talk to one of the other girls in the group. Jenny? Audrey? She couldn't remember her name, but she needed the distraction.
But she was weak and in the midst of listening to this girl talk about only God knows what, she couldn't stop herself from glancing over at Liam on occasion.
It was when he was finally looking back at her that her blood boiled. He had the audacity to look confused by her behavior and Izzy couldn't take it anymore. She shot up like lightning, her chair flying back and slamming into the wall. She ignored the questioning looks from the few who weren't quite drunk yet and walked away from all of them.
Liam's eyes were on the back of her head, she could sense it, and her cheeks flamed with frustration. Forget about him, Izzy. Let him watch you walk away.
She needed to leave. She couldn't sit there and try to act like nothing was bothering her and she was horribly embarrassed by her behavior in the first place. She had no right to be jealous. No reason to get so upset when Liam wasn't even hers to have.
Pushing through the now crowded pub was difficult and by the time she'd made it to the empty back hallway, she was out of breath. Her head pounded and her lungs were on fire. As she leaned against the wall and pinched the bridge of her nose, it was clear to her that she was out of her depth.
That tight feeling of guilt and remorse twisted in her chest. This pain was the answer, wasn't it?
"Izzy?"
God, please no.
Liam stood behind her. She could practically feel his warm presence just a few feet away, and she didn't dare turn around. He would see the humiliation all over her face and call her out on it. She didn't have the strength to argue or try to explain herself.
She squared her shoulders and without turning around, said, "I think I'll find a taxi and head back to the house."
"Why?"
The bitterness in that short question took her by surprise. He'd never spoken to her with any animosity before. It was almost vengeful, as if she'd wronged him... which she had.
"I'm tired and I don't feel comfortable here. I don't belong here."
"Then where do ye belong?"
"I don't know."
"Where do ye belong, Isabelle?" he asked more insistently.
She whirled around to finally face him and shouted, "I don't know! Anywhere but here!"
Her outburst didn't shock him in the least. He didn't even flinch. In fact, it looked like he was expecting that exact answer from her.
His expression closed up until he looked completely impassive to anything and everything she had to say. "I understand. Anywhere but where I am."
"No, that's not what I meant." Her head was throbbing and everything shimmered in front of her eyes from the building emotion she just couldn't push back.
"Then what did ye mean? I've got to be honest, I thought we were headed to the same place, but we weren't. Were we?"
"Liam. You don't understand. I need to... I just need you to..." She had no idea what she needed from him. For him to give her space? To be patient with her? To somehow understand that she was helpless to stop what was about to happen to her in the next couple of months? What could she possibly do that she hadn't already tried?
He wouldn't believe it because Liam Brannock could do anything. He could have anyone.
In a flash, he was gripping her upper arms and his face was mere inches from hers. "What do ye want me to do, Izzy? Ye arena here for long and ye said yerself ye didna want me. Was I wrong, love?"
She took a deep breath and looked up into his heated blue eyes. Eyes she would never forget. Those were eyes she would see every night in her dreams. "I never said that I didn't want you."
He tugged her closer until their chests were almost touching and Izzy's breath caught somewhere between her throat and lungs. It was stuck in a place that kept her heart beating and her head swimming.
If she could only get the words to come out right, she could tell him exactly what she wanted. She could tell him that she wanted his arms around her, not some floozy that just wanted a night. She could tell him that she wanted more than one night, that she wanted a lifetime. A lifetime she just couldn't give. Not yet.
And there was the reminder. The slap in the face that made Izzy keep her distance from the one man that had made her live again.
Liam's fingers wrapped around her shoulders and held her steady. His deep blue eyes swirled with questions. God, if she only had the answers.
"Izzy..."
She couldn't catch her breath. He was too close, too warm, and she needed some space to think. "I can't, Liam. I just..."
"What is it, Izzy? Tell me what ye need and I swear on my life I'll give it to ye."
His words hit her like a freight train. It was an overwhelming feeling and she didn't know what to do with it. Never in her life had someone actually taken care of her the way he had, made her smile the way he could. It was as if Liam was made for her, but he was just put thousands of miles too far away, making their meeting a one in a million chance.
She wanted to tell him that she would stay here with him and never go back to her home. That all she could think about was being with him, right here, right now.
But she didn't tell him. Instead, she turned away from him and started running through the crowd of people dancing and drinking and having a good time.
This is the life she should have had back home. Carefree and full of friends and lust and love. She should have been able to act her age instead of being given to someone for a business deal. Instead of being tossed around like an object for the benefit of everyone else but her.
She should have done a lot of things differently, but it was too late for her now.
It was a challenge to push through the crowd, but then the front door came into view... and her relief was trivial . It opened and a young couple walked in, pressed together intimately, laughing like they didn't have a care in the world.
Her eyes caught a glimpse of a lone taxi, sitting out front just waiting for her. She could get away from all of this and get her bearings before she did something stupid. Then maybe once she took a night to sleep on it, she could make an educated decision...
Then it hit her. She really hadn't changed. This trip didn't do a damn thing to change what she wanted to change in herself. She was still running scared, still passing up an opportunity and weighing options that didn't matter.
Isabelle shook her head, cursing herself for her faults. It was too late now, so she darted for the door. Liam's deep voice called her name over and over. He cursed loudly and she imagined that he'd been blocked quite thoroughly in his pursuit of her. She would have a lengthy head start and maybe by some miracle, he would give her the night to catch her breath.
She didn't look back. It was time she accepted her fate. Time she realized that change just wasn't possible.
She climbed into that taxi and quickly gave the driver the address to her temporary home. A home in which she felt more comfortable than the one she grew up in back in Ohio. A home in which she had already made memories... with Liam.
"Shut up, Izzy."
"I'm sorry, Miss?"
She looked up at the rearview mirror and met the driver's eyes. He looked concerned, but no more concerned than he would be picking up any other woman talking to herself right after she ran away from the man of her dreams.
"Nothing. I'm short on time so..."
"I understand," he nodded and quickly turned onto the road, heading south. Away from the man who was now shouting her name from the front door of the pub.
She refused to look out the window. If she did that, she would turn into a blubbering mess. That or a melted puddle.
If mother could see me now, she huffed to herself.
The hour or so ride felt like three. She was sure Liam would have made it to the house before her and the driver grumbled a good night once the silent ride was over. She hadn't needed to spend much mo
ney up until now and the little she'd brought with her was all given to the, now irritable, driver. She could have been more patient with his back road driving, but she was so desperate to lock herself in the house and away from everyone else.
Once inside, it didn't take long for her to discover that she wouldn't be getting any sleep. She got herself ready for bed anyway, tossing her dress aside and dawning her nightgown. It was depressing to find herself alone once more.
"Start a fire and relax, Izzy. That's all you can do right now."
She had no idea how she was going to start a fire, but she would try. Liam was always the one to get it going the few times the fireplace was even used in the last two weeks. It was embarrassing, but he never made a comment about it. He seemed content to do those things for her and it was something she was going to miss when she left.
God, she was still leaving?
I am crazy!
It was no surprise to hear the squeaking slam of a car door a few minutes later, although her heart rate picked up to blazing speeds. She knew he would come even though she had hoped he wouldn't. He was always there, always making her question everything and changing her expectations.
And why was that the problem?
"You're a damned fool, Iz," she grumbled to herself.
The pounding on the door still startled her even if she was expecting it and she dropped the small pile of wood she'd been carrying to the fireplace. The sound of the pieces crashing to the floor was like a bomb going off.
Well, now he knows you are really here, dummy.
"Open the bloody door, Izzy. Let me know yer alright."
She moved to the door, checking and double checking the locks. He kept knocking, harder each time and the vibration of the wood made her hands tingle. She could almost feel his warmth through the worn wood.
"Isabelle..."
"Please go away, Liam. I can't do this anymore," she said and dropped her head against the rough door. She let out a harsh breath when he stopped pounding on the door and she could almost hear his own heavy breaths on the other side. He wasn't going to leave until she convinced him to. He was stubborn like that.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore. I'm not going to be here much longer and you need to leave me alone. I've come here for a break and once this trip is over, I'll move on with my life."
"What life?" he shouted. "The life where ye become a slave to a dangerous man that doesna appreciate a bloody thing ye do? Or the life where ye become a lonely and bitter woman because ye didna take a chance on a man that cares for ye more than he has ever cared for another."
She sucked in a sharp breath, hearing his words but wishing he hadn't said them. "Please..."
A long moment passed before he spoke again. She felt a thud on the other side of the door and knew he was leaning against it the same way she was, wanting the closeness but needing that barrier between them.
"I am sorry, Izzy. I didna mean for this night to end like this. I've wanted ye so badly that I took me some bad advice and played a game I swore I would never play. I tried to make ye jealous, but it only drove ye away. I don't play games, Izzy. I hate games, I hate being dishonest and more than anything, I hate not telling ye how I feel about ye because yer too scared of it. I am a level headed man, but around you..." He huffed and there was another thud against the door. "Ye make me crazy and I wasna thinking straight. "
Her mind raced, trying to hear what he was saying and understand it all at the same time. Liam's accent grew thicker with every word, his distress obvious the longer he spoke. Her heart soared knowing he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
So, what now?
It was time to make a decision and deal with whatever consequences she would encounter. Lord only knew how many times she made mistakes in her life, but this didn't feel like one. This felt like the only right thing she had ever done in her life.
She slowly released each lock on the door and pulled it open until she could just see his face. He looked hopeful and scared, but he still dominated the porch with his presence.
"How crazy?" she asked softly.
"I'm sorry?"
"How crazy do I make you?"
He smiled, that crooked smile that forced one of his dimples to appear.
There it is, she sighed.
His hands raised to the door and he pushed gently until it was opened enough to see her entire face. "Insane. To the point I can't decide if I want to run from ye or kiss ye until neither of us can breathe."
She opened the door a little more and he inched forward, taking over the small space and getting close enough that she could smell him and a faint hint of the pub they left behind tonight. His eyes roamed down her body, taking in her nightgown and flickering back up to her face. Those blue eyes darkened with hunger and her knees started to shake.
"I've never felt that way about anyone. It scares me, but that's how I know it is worth the fear. Ye make me so crazy that I can't stop thinking about ye day and night. When I see you, my chest aches, my lungs stop taking in air. Everything stops, Izzy."
He loomed closer until he was past the threshold of the door and Izzy took a small step back to let him in. Her hand immediately went to her hair, fingering the strands before dropping her fingers to her earlobe and tugging, hard. She wasn't dreaming, that was for sure.
Her eyes closed on their own once that familiar scent surrounded her. She wanted to bury her nose in his chest and take deep breaths until all she could feel was him. Her bottom lip immediately tucked under her teeth.
"So fantastically crazy that every time ye tug on that ear or bite down on that beautiful lip, I want to push ye against a wall and do it all for you. I don't see a future without you in it."
Liam's hands cupped her face, gently tugging her closer until she was pressed completely against him, from her toes to her shoulders. His sweet breath fanned her face and she felt his nose lightly nudge hers.
Her eyes were still closed. She was too afraid to open them and see that this wasn't really happening or that her imagination had run wild and Liam was just a dream.
"Open those eyes, love. I want ye to see who is about to kiss the daylights out of you."
The second her eyes fluttered open, his lips pressed against hers. This wasn't the slow and tender kiss that he would have given her at the river. No, this was something completely different. His mouth moved firmly against hers, forcing from her a soft moan when she felt his tongue trace the seam of her lips. His hands dropped to her waist, holding her body against his and gently lifting her off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he deepened the kiss, tongues tangling until both of them needed a breath.
"I'm desperate for you, Izzy," he murmured against her lips.
She nodded and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him into another deep and passionate kiss. She knew she was just as desperate and nothing was going to stop her from having him.
Two weeks and already she was out of control for him.
Gone for him.
It didn't make sense, but she didn't give a damn.
Liam started to move with her in his arms. He kissed down her chin to her neck and those lips never left her skin as he climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She held on tightly, throwing her head back and moaning again when Liam's hands dropped to her bottom to support her and he moved her hips against his.
"Bloody hell, Izzy," he groaned against her neck. "I can hardly keep from shaking with want for ye. Say that ye'll have me, love." They both fell to the bed and he lifted off of her for a moment, waiting for her to look at him. "Say it, Isabelle. Tell me I can have ye forever."
Isabelle's heart clamored as she looked up at him and saw his dark eyes pleading with her, begging for her to say the words he wanted to hear. The words she wanted to say. "And if I give you me, what happens then?" she asked raggedly.
"I'll protect you. I'll cherish you. I always will."
She cupped his face and gazed back at him, her eyes burning with unsh
ed tears that no longer needed to fall. Never in her life had she felt so right, exactly where she needed to be. "I'm yours, Liam. God, I've always been yours."
He kissed her again, tangling his tongue with hers as he shifted her up the bed and settled between her legs. She could feel every long inch of him as he moved against her, sending her heart into another frenzy.
His hands were everywhere. In her hair, on her neck, beneath her, running down her legs. When his fingers found the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs, she gasped and pulled him closer. "Liam..."
"Shhh, I've got you, love. I'm going to take care of you. I swear it."
His lips moved down her neck again and she couldn't hold back the moan. "That feels so amazing."
He pressed his lips to the sensitive swell of her breast, nudging her hair and collar aside with his nose and tasting her there. Her skin was on fire and she was practically clawing at him now, wanting more, needing more.
A hand slid under her nightgown and up her leg. She gasped as he brushed his fingers over her underwear and stopped at her hip. She felt him pause and tighten his grip on her flesh, pulling her against him. Her back arched off the bed as he scorched a path back up her neck.
"I've a mind to stop everything right now, Izzy," he mumbled against her skin. "I know ye've not been with anyone before and I..." He pressed a hard kiss to her neck and raised up on his elbow. "I've only been-"
Izzy covered his mouth with her hand. "I don't care, Liam. That's the past. This is now. I don't think it will matter because regardless of what you've done, I still want you."
His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, watching her cautiously, but he didn't argue. They both knew nothing else mattered in that moment but the two of them.
They kissed with renewed vigor and this time there was no pace to keep up with. Liam shoved her nightgown up over her head and tossed it aside. His eyes traced every inch of exposed skin and his body shook.
Protector (The Brannock Siblings Book 4) Page 14