by Nancy Gray
He grinned at Mercy. “Isn’t she beautiful?”
“No. There’s nothing about her that’s beautiful at all.”
The young woman looked shocked and glanced down at her body. “But we look so much alike. You don’t find yourself attractive? I believe Erebus thinks differently.”
“The real Erebus wouldn’t have anything to do with you.”
She ran a hand through the hair of Erebus’ shadow. “But he already does. You might not want to admit it, but you and I are intertwined. You can’t have one without the other.”
Mercy frowned. She knew what the creature meant. If this version of herself was anything like Erebus’ shadow, then she was the side of Mercy’s personality that was always hidden under the surface. It was the side that was a coward, running through the jungle while her village was attacked. It was also the side of herself that was so blinded by hate and rage that she could justify doing horrible things, as she had when she realized that Ailfrius was dead. This part of her that was what her father originally wanted her to be - someone who could be ruthless and cruel if it served some sort of benefit.
Mercy felt ashamed as she realized that looking at this creature was really just holding up a mirror. There was something she had never told anyone, and her shadow was blatantly mocking her about it. Mercy was secretly glad that she had been banished from her tribe when she found out how easily her people were fooled by the Blood Wings, and how the elders deliberately wanted to continue not to see the truth if it meant things didn’t change. It was the part of her that believed her tribe was ruled by stupid old men. Mercy always knew that she had a tendency to rage against turning a blind eye to the truth. Even so, she never realized that she felt strongly enough about it that somewhere, deep down, she actually hated her own people, and she was starting to feel the ambition to change her tribe.
This hidden shadow of herself was what she was trying to overcome, and Mercy wasn’t about to let it take control. “Well, I’m not afraid of you.”
Her darker side laughed, and it was a sound like a dying bird. “You’ve always been afraid of me. I should know, since I’m your cowardice. I know your deepest fears, and you fear yourself most of all. It’s really quite natural.”
The shadow Erebus chuckled, “You know, she and my host really are quite alike. They’re both afraid of themselves, afraid of ambition.”
Mercy snapped, “I’m not afraid of ambition anymore. And, you’re right. Currently, you’re part of me, but that also means, whether you like it or not, I’m part of you.”
“You don’t have to be. Trust me; I would prefer us to be separate almost as much as you would.”
“I don’t trust you at all, which is why I’m not going to listen to anything you say.”
Shadow Erebus snorted, “Heh, smart girl!”
Mercy’s alternate self slapped him, leaving gashes on his face. He hissed, and his countenance became more bestial. But then she stroked him lovingly on the chin, and he gazed up at her with the same adoring expression on his face.
“Come now. Consider it, Mercy. You would have more control over me. Stealer of Secrets would only come out to play when you used your abilities. You’ve already decided that you don’t want to use them very often so you wouldn’t see me much at all.”
“Well, Stealer of Secrets, right now I’m the one with the control. We’re a part of each other. I make my own choices.”
Stealer of Secrets took a threatening step forward. “You had trouble controlling me during the fight. Aren’t you afraid that maybe next time you won’t be able to?”
Mercy didn’t even flinch. “I don’t need to chain you up in a cave to overcome you. I think doing that would be giving you too much credit.”
The look on Stealer of Secrets face was a sneer of contempt. For a moment, her features did look primal but still did not look like the features of one of the Blood Wings. Mercy couldn’t place what animal the face reminded her of, and that was when she realized that Stealer of Secrets’ countenance didn’t remind her of an animal at all. Her skin was like the smooth bark of a gum tree. Those yellow eyes were the color of blighted leaves. The antlers sticking out of her head were actually small tree limbs. She wasn’t an animal at all. She was a plant.
Mercy gasped. “What are you?”
“What indeed? There’s so little that you know about yourself or at least that you’ll admit. Erebus and the other Beast People know more about you than you can ever hope to imagine. I’ve discussed it with Erebus’ darker side. It seems that you’re a rare breed, Mind of Mercy, one of the Wood Kin.”
Mercy felt physically ill. “That’s not possible. The Wood Kin are just a legend. You’re lying!”
“You seem so certain, and yet I wonder. You remember Mother, how she moved with such fluid, unnatural grace. The way Father was always so proud to have her, and you’re one of the few people in our village with auburn hair like the bloom of a…”
Mercy shoved Stealer of Secrets away. She liked the look of stunned surprise on her nemesis’ face, as though she thought that Mercy wasn’t strong enough to physically push her back.
“Never mock me or the traditions of my people again! I don’t care what you want me to think I am. I know who I am. I’m Mind of Mercy, I’m a seeker of truth, one of the Green People, the person holding my friends together, and until I acknowledge you, you’re nothing but a passing thought. That’s what you’re afraid of, that you’ll never be more than a phantom.”
As Mercy said the words, the young woman moaned. It was the sound of wind making sorrowful sounds through the branches of a dying tree. Then, the woman vanished, leaving nothing but a shallow puddle of blood behind.
Erebus’ shadow gasped in horror and snarled, “What have you done with her? Bring her back!”
“She was never here to begin with. I wonder if Erebus knows that you’ve been playing in my mind. Should I tell him?”
The shadow demon paced in the little amount of space that the chains would allow him, “She was real. She’s still here in you. One day you will be forced to confront her. When that day comes, I hope she thrashes you until all you can remember is your thoughts as a mewling baby.”
Mercy raised an eyebrow. “Why, shadow Erebus, are you in love? Is my bad side perfect for you? How ironic. Don’t worry. She’s still here, and right now I’m thinking of giving her just enough control to take her rage out on you.”
Mercy took a threatening step towards him and Erebus’ shadow began to back away from her until his body was halfway in the pool of blood. He glared at her in rage, but she also thought there was something else about his expression that seemed almost respectful. It was as though he was looking right into her inner being, and he liked what he saw. He was gazing into the eyes of her hidden monster, and despite the fact she didn’t want to admit it, Mercy was glad that someone loved that part of her as well. However, this wasn’t a restful dream, and she was tired of fighting especially when it came to battling within herself.
She said, “Go back to your own prison and leave me alone.”
“Very well, Mind of Mercy. Before I go, though, I want to ask you one question.”
“Then hurry up. I at least want to feel like I’ve gotten some rest.”
He laughed. “Not to worry. You will. While you’ve been talking to us, your body has been healing itself and using your magic to aid it. You’ll be on your feet when you awaken.”
Mercy suppressed a curse and a shudder. She managed to fix him with an impassive expression. She didn’t want him to know how worried it made her that she couldn’t entirely control her abilities. In the short time that she had learned to use them she felt like they were becoming second nature to her. It even seemed that she was already on the way to mastering basic magic. From his knowing smile, she was sure he knew the thoughts that she was trying to hide.
Mercy took another threatening step towards him and the smile quickly disappeared and he stumbled until he was chest deep in the bloody wa
ter as she shouted, “Get on with your question!”
“Fine. I believe that you already knew who your ancestors were, but you just didn’t want to accept it. So, my question is, now that you know for sure and you also know that drinking my blood has corrupted you, in your culture what does that make you?”
Mercy looked at the pool of red liquid at her feet. Her reflection on the blood pool was the darker side of herself with black tree limbs growing from her hair that looked like antlers and yellow eyes like those of a render. Mercy’s face was sullen, but the face in the pool was smiling up at her in smug satisfaction, as though it had won the argument after all.
“It would make me a blighted spirit. My people say that the goddess of the forest hated that part of herself so much that she split into two forms, the Creator and the Destructor. I guess that makes me her enemy now and the enemy of my people.”
The shadow version of Erebus cocked his head to the side as though he didn’t understand. “But, Mercy, don’t you see what you’ve become? You’re the perfect bridge between my people and yours. Why would they hate what you are when your magical nature personifies another part of their goddess? Think on it. You are a rarity and you’re powerful enough to make a difference.”
Mercy looked up from her reflection of the water, about to shout at him that he didn’t know anything about it, that he didn’t know anything about how her people would respond to what she was. But Erebus’ shadow was gone. She sighed and sunk down next to the water, burying her face in her hands and weeping. Was she really descended from one of the Wood Kin? If she was, then becoming corrupted was about the worst thing that she could do. The Wood Kin were considered the goddess’ children, the spirits of the forest and of creation itself. If she had defiled that part of her nature, she didn’t know if she was strong enough to confront her people with the truth despite the good it could do.
18
For a moment Mercy wasn’t sure where she was, but as she glanced around the cramped space, she realized that she was back in the girl’s quarters on the ship and in her hammock. She wasn’t alone. Kylas was sitting on a stool next to her staring at her as though he was afraid she was some sort of dangerous animal that was about to bite him. Despite his fear, there was something else that she could was sensing from him. He was worried, and he was sympathetic.
He had a wet cloth in a bowl next to her, making her wonder if she had a fever. For a moment, she almost convinced herself that her dream wasn’t real, just delusions brought about from a fevered sleep. But then she felt the moisture on her cheeks and realized she had been crying while she slept. If it was just a fever dream she would be able to forget it, but she could remember every detail. Kylas soaked the rag in fresh water and wrung it out, using it to wipe the tears off of her face. She was so grateful that she reached out and hugged him, holding on like a frightened little girl, weeping harder.
He whispered, “You were crying in your sleep and I heard most of what you said. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“How much did you hear?”
“I heard most of it. You were shouting as though you were having an argument with someone. Erebus was here with you for the first part of the dream, but then he had to go and check on Beryl. His people can see blood flow. He wanted to make sure that Beryl was still hanging on. I was here for the second part of the dream. I could kill him for what he did to you!”
“He didn’t do this to me! I made the decision on my own. He tried to talk me out of it, but I didn’t listen. I really need to talk to him.”
“Mercy, do you really think you’re responsible for this? He was blighting your soul from the moment he met you. I could see it. Darkness clings to him like a broken spider web and it sticks just as easily to anyone that gets close to him. He was playing with you all along.”
Mercy pushed Kylas away. “Don’t you dare talk about him like that! Erebus nearly killed himself to save my life. He can’t help the way he was born.”
“But he can help the way he acts right now. He could break away from his demon if he would let me help him, but he won’t. He doesn’t want to be rid of that disgusting creature. He’s so addicted to the power it gives him that he’s willing to let it hurt you to get it.”
Kylas was shaking with rage. Mercy had never seen such a furious expression on his face and it distressed her. His enraged emotions were the building pressure as roiling flood waters rise behind an earthen dam. If something didn’t happen quickly to calm Kylas down, he was going to find Erebus and all hell would break loose. His hands were balled into fists and suddenly he without warning he slammed one into the wood next to the hammock. The force of the blow nearly knocked the lamp off of the wall.
Mercy snapped, “Do you feel better? Why don’t you break your hand while you’re at it? After all, we don’t have enough injuries that you couldn’t add one more to the mix.”
“I’m sorry, but I just hate seeing you like this. What if he does this to someone else too?”
Mercy rolled her eyes and scowled at him. “I see. So this isn’t even about me. It’s about Mirilee. Well, you don’t need to worry. Erebus and I are together, so he won’t be spreading his darkness to her.”
She grabbed Kylas arm and slowly got out of the hammock. For a moment she was dizzy, but she felt amazingly alert for someone with such bad injuries. It made her wonder just how bad her wounds actually were. She began pulling at the bandage around her chest just enough so that she could see under it. Sure enough, the gash there was hardly even worth the bandages around it. It would leave a scar, but it looked as though it was almost entirely closed. There were no small cuts on her hands anymore either.
As she began to walk away Kylas asked, “So making you drink blood was just out of the goodness of his heart too?”
Mercy paused. She was hoping that the coppery taste in her mouth was part of the dream as well, but somehow deep down she knew better. Erebus fed her a cup of blood before she was entirely asleep. She remembered the pressure of it against her lips and struggling to spit it out. She was sure there had to be a good reason so she had to find Erebus. But it wouldn’t do to let Kylas have the final word either.
“Well, look at my injuries, Kylas. Do you think maybe, just maybe, Erebus fed me that blood so that I would heal up faster? We’re fighting against forces that haven’t been seen in this world for centuries. I for one am glad that he gave me a small advantage. Otherwise I might not be alive right now.”
Kylas sighed heavily. “Whatever you say, Mercy. I’ll be here if you decide that you need me. Just, please, don’t tell Mirilee how you got these powers. You know how she is.”
Mercy sighed and leaned against the door. She felt as though the fatigue of the day was finally catching up with her, and as much as she wanted to be angry at Kylas, he was just looking out for someone he cared about as well.
“I would never encourage Mirilee to make the choice that I did. To be honest, in some ways I do regret it. I just need you to trust me for now. Can you do that, Kylas?”
“Yes. I do trust you.”
“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to check on Beryl. Is he okay?”
Mercy held her breath a moment, feeling Kylas’ concern and grief.
“I don’t know. The last time I checked up on him, he was still unconscious. I think Erebus was going to try to do something to make him heal up faster. He didn’t want anyone in there with him while he was ‘working,’ and I didn’t want to see.”
“Well, hopefully he’ll make an exception for me. Thank you for watching over me while I was sleeping.”
Kylas nodded as Mercy turned and walked away. Across the hall the door to the men’s quarters was slightly ajar. She saw Erebus sitting in a stool in the corner drinking from a wine bottle, and she could smell the blood before she even saw the bright red of it on his lips. There were deep circles under his eyes, but he was in his human form.
On the hammock next to him, Beryl was lying very still. He was sh
irtless, but she saw the waistband of a pair of pants on him. There was a long silk bandage wrapped around the stub where his forearm used to be, but at least it looked fresh and there was no blood seeping through. She felt her heart flutter with excitement when she realized that Beryl’s eyes were open, and he was looking around the room. She gently pushed the door open and closed it behind after stepping into the room.
Beryl said in a pained whisper, “Mercy.”
Erebus looked up from the wine bottle and grinned. She could feel his relief and joy seeing she was awake; and she could tell he wanted to get up and hug her, but he just leaned against the wall and took another long drink. His exhaustion was like a physical weight on his shoulders, and he was almost too tired to speak. But Mercy rushed up to Erebus, hugged him gently, and then ran to Beryl’s side taking his good hand, squeezing it tightly.
Beryl smiled faintly up at her. “You saved my life. Thank you. I’ll never forget it. You know, you’re full of surprises.”
Mercy squeezed his hand a little harder. “I’m so glad to see that you’re okay. I thought when we pulled you out of the water that I was too late.”
Beryl shook his head. “I was in shock. I can’t tell you how grateful I am. I managed to mostly stop the bleeding while I was inside of it, but if you hadn’t come for me, it wouldn’t have mattered. I could’ve been awake in that shark’s stomach for days - days, Mercy, with everything else that it ate!”
Mercy shivered. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks before she even knew that she was crying. Erebus put his hands on her shoulders. With her other hand she reached up and touched his face. He nuzzled his head into her neck, and she began to cry harder.
Beryl entwined his fingers with hers and said, “Thank you both. Erebus, I take it you’re somehow responsible for giving Mercy those powers?”
Erebus said in a low whisper, “Yes, but it wasn’t what I wanted for her.”