Since they kicked me out I went to Gage’s room. The large master bedroom stretched across the house, views of both the street and the harbor. It was probably the best room to be in anyways, for lookout purposes. And it had a chair at least. The guest room was bare minimum but his room had style. A simple dark style, but some extras like a TV and large lounger type chairs. I scooted one to the window overlooking the street and sat with the gun in my lap, so wired I was in no danger of falling asleep.
Hours later the sun began to rise, and the sky turned a muted dark gray. Seeing the familiar headlights of Gage’s SUV, I hopped up, heart in my throat as the car pulled into the garage. There had only been one person driving; it was too dark to tell who, but there was no one in the passenger seat.
I was frozen in spot for a moment, not allowing myself to think anything. The stomping up the stairs got me moving. I gripped the gun and stepped out of the room, into the hallway.
All the tension in my muscles released, and my stomach spasmed, almost crumpling me, as Gage appeared at the top of the steps, in one piece. His ear was bloody, as well as the collar of his jacket, but he was standing.
I dropped the gun as we both moved to each other, wrapping each other up. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming and my body shook with relief. His solid warmth reassured me as his arms tightened around me.
“You’re alright?” I asked, pulling my head back to look at him. My hand went up to his ear, hovering over the dried blood.
He nodded and pressed his lips to mine, sucking me in, as necessary as air.
My hands roamed his body, more for reassurance that he was here than passion. He pressed me back to the wall, hands moving to either side of my face as he deepened the kiss.
He pressed his forehead to mine with little pecks on my lips and cheek. He gripped my hair and his breath hitched with his retrained effort.
“We’ve got to go. Get what you need, but we have to leave. Now.”
I would have stepped away if the wall wasn’t blocking me. I stiffened in his grip. “What?”
“We’re going to leave. Out of state, like you said.” His grip in my hair loosened and he petted me, moving one hand down my hair. A failed attempt to soothe me. “It’s only temporary.”
He stepped back and realeased me as he looked me over. “Change your clothes, take a shower. We have time. But we need to leave. I’ll get Dexter.”
My mind swam, trying to catch up. My thoughts were still stuck on the relief of him being here.
“I’ve got to work. I don’t have anything here. I can’t leave.”
He gripped my arms suddenly, an edge to his voice. “Don’t fight me on this. It’s only until next week. I’ll explain later, but listen to me. It has to be this way.”
His tone scared me and I still wasn’t clear on the situation, so I listened. I changed out of my blood-dried clothes and into Dexter’s shirt and sweatpants; Gage’s clothes were too large.
***
“Can we go to our place, to get some things?” Leona asked as she slid into the backseat of the SUV, Rocky, the cat, in her hands.
“No. I don’t want your roommates questioning anything. You can buy what you need when we get where we’re going.”
I buckled myself into the passenger seat and questioned, “Where are we going?”
“New York. My fight is there next Friday. I’ll get a hotel until then.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why? What happened tonight? What does it have to do with your fight?” I was surprised he was even thinking about it. For some reason I thought this night blew up both of our careers in boxing. But maybe it only ended mine, at least until I could find a manager I could trust, which may never happen.
“Where’s Silas?” I whispered my last question. I may not like him, but I didn’t want him dead.
“He’s fine, but he’s not coming with us.” Gage drove out of the neighborhood, and at a red light, he finally responded to my other questions. “I’ll explain, but not now.” His hand gripped the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. “I need some time with my thoughts before I explain.”
My panic was choking me. “So you can make up a story? I want the truth. I want to know now, before I go off with you.”
Dexter spoke up from the back, “Rea, he’s doing what he thinks is best. Leave him alone for now. We’ve got time to talk later, everyone’s exhausted.”
I turned on him. “Shut up. I’m not talking to you.” We were turning onto the ramp, crossing the bridge out of Baltimore. Reality settling in, I had been holding it in all night and I was cracking. “Tell me why we have to leave now.”
A low rumble, almost a growl, vibrated Gage. “Things aren’t over yet. It didn’t get resolved last night. So I’m getting you the fuck out of this city until it’s clear.” He breathed deeply pulling back in his anger. “I’ve had a rough fucking night. Can you give me some time to calm down before you ask all your damn questions?”
I crossed my arms and looked out the window, anger and dread pressing on me, making it hard to breathe.
Leona leaned her head on Dexter and they both fell asleep before we were out of Maryland.
Gage’s eyes flicked to me for about the millionth time when we crossed into New Jersey. “Have you slept yet?” He asked softly.
I gritted my teeth. “Oh, are we asking questions now?”
He sighed, “I’m sorry for that. I—you don’t know Regan. Last night was bad.”
I widened my eyes, but my voice was soft as I looked at him. “I know last night was bad. I don’t know the details, but I know that. I didn’t sleep; it was bad for me too. Not knowing is killing me.”
“It was cocaine. That’s what Silas and Dexter were holding. And lots of it. I went to Rusnak first, laid it all out, and we tried to get it back. But Rock, he had tonight planned and was hidden away somewhere. He made a new contact and cut Rusnak out of the deal. Rusnak found out last night, that’s why Rock sent his men out to collect anything owed that was connected to him. But his boys took more than they should when they cleared Silas’s safe.”
“So Silas and Dexter still owe Rusnak?” I tried to make sense of his story.
He glanced at me, before watching the road again. “Silas still owes, but not Dexter. I took his spot. I thought I had been keeping him out, by not telling him things. But he still saw these people; he knew them. I gave him the connection but never told him about the danger. It’s my fault.”
I shook my head. Dexter’s wasn’t a kid anymore, he should have realized. “What’s next?”
“I get you to New York and you stay until my fight. Then I can pay everything back.” He glanced at me. “You should try to rest now.”
“So should you,” I countered.
He smiled slightly and nodded. “When we get to the hotel, I will.”
I nodded. I would stay up until then too.
***
Dexter put his arm around Leona and walked her into one of the bedrooms of the hotel suite. I sat on the couch alone, unsure of what to do now.
Dexter and Leona seemed to be treating this as a vacation, they had pointed out buildings and signs as we had driven on the busy city streets. But they were crazy, and I knew better.
Gage came out of the washroom and approached me, hesitant, hand extended. “Lay down with me? We both need some sleep.”
I swallowed. My heart was stuck in my throat, and I stood without grabbing his hand.
We walked to the remaining bedroom, and I lay on the bed, head resting on the pillow without comfort. I turned to the side and stared at the wall.
The bed moved as Gage climbed in behind me. His arm circled around me, severing the hold on my emotions with a painful slice.
I turned around, facing him, burring my face in his shirt. He surrounded me with his warmth, smell, and body. Tears pricked at my eyes and I struggled to make sense of my churning emotions, they pulled every which way.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I said breathless, the one
thing I knew. “What happened? Here?” I put my hand to his ear, he had cleaned off the blood, but it was a marbled red and blue and there was a gash behind it. “And your back?” I asked, recalling the blood through his shirt before he left.
He pulled me in tighter, resting his head on top of mine. “I was hit with the butt of a gun in the ear. But I was cut in the back. When Silas and I went to our meeting, before everything, some guys attacked us as we left. Four of them, they tried to get us into the car. I disarmed one, but another tried to cut me from behind, only a graze. They underestimated us though. Silas and I got away without much damage besides my cut and Silas was hit in the head.” His body tightened in my arms. “I knew Silas was still involved with crap like this. I just ignored all the signs. I’m sorry.”
I nodded, wordless. I had seen the signs too with Gage, and had chosen to ignore them. I had walked into all this and now I was stuck, wanting to push him away, but unable to.
“What happened when you left?”
He pulled away to look into my eyes, hands moving down my hair and back. “No more questions. Not now. I want to rest and hold you, and feel like everything’s okay. Even just for a moment.”
The pleading and sadness in his eyes pulled at all my strings, undoing me. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but for now I wanted the same thing. I needed it too, even though I knew it was a lie. I knew nothing was okay and I could feel the unspoken words between us. He was holding back something important, but I’d let it go for now.
I curled into him and once he became heavy with sleep, his even breathing lulled me into unconsciousness.
I woke up to an empty bed. Evening light shone through the window. A note, with not enough words, on the nightstand table, written in Gage’s small, tidy print.
Stay here. I’ll call soon. Sorry.
27: Abandoned
I REREAD THE LETTER AND FLIPPED IT over, but it was blank. I looked around the bed and floor; there had to be more, but there wasn’t.
I grabbed my phone, heart in my throat when I saw the red icon’s notifying me of a missed call and message. But the screen turned black at my touch as it drained of power, and I didn’t have a charger.
Running into the room Dexter and Leona were staying in, I knocked briefly then opened the door.
“Do you have your phone charger?” I asked quickly, looking at the couple lying on the bed watching TV.
Dexter raised one arm, pointing to a black duffle bag. “In the front zipper there.”
I knelt by the bag, unzipping it. “Your brother left.”
“I know. He left us some money though. We can get dinner if you’re hungry,” Dexter spoke matter-of-fact.
My head whipped to him, charger abandoned. “You know? Where did he go?”
He sat up in bed, dropping his arm from Leona as he watched me. “He had to go back to B-more, he didn’t tell you?” He asked carefully.
I sucked in a breath, fighting the choking constriction of my muscles. “When did he tell you?”
He shifted his eyes then got out of bed to come over to the bag. He pulled the charger out and handed it to me with an uneasy smile.
“He told me before we left. He was only dropping us off. He’s coming back Thursday.”
I was sinking. Gage was keeping too much from me and I didn’t understand why. Moreover, I didn’t like it. He could tell Dexter, the boy he was risking his life for, why not me?
Dexter put a hand on my shoulder and I stood up, knocking it off.
“It’s alright. He’s going to be back in less than a week. In the meantime we can hang out here. Look.” Dexter popped up and went to the nightstand and picked up his wallet. He pulled out a card and extended it towards me. “He left us a credit card to get whatever we want.”
I stared at him. Was he serious right now?
Leona had been watching our exchange. She sat up on the bed with a large smile. “We can go shopping tomorrow Rea and get some clothes. It will be fun.”
“Don’t make me fuckin’ slap you.” I said, incredulous.
“What?” She snapped, straightening up in bed.
“Whoa.” Dexter exclaimed at the same time, dragging me out of the room by my arm.
I jerked free when he closed the door and brought my hand to my head, trying to grasp at any sane thought.
“Rea, calm down.” Dexter stood watching me.
“Calm down? What the hell is he doing? I thought he only had to fight this Friday and then everything would be done. But he wasn’t being honest. I feel like I was just kidnapped.” I paused to take a few breaths, but only succeeded in feeding the flames of my anger. “And you two expect me to be happy that we have money to spend? I thought that was the problem to begin with, not enough money to pay back. Where is this money coming from? And what is your brother doing now? What type of--”
“Rea stop.” Dexter grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly.
I couldn’t stand to look at his bruised face, but I did. “Tell. Me. Everything. Now,” I said between clenched teeth.
He dropped my shoulders and nodded. “I don’t know that much. Gage had to go back to deal with Silas and Rusnak.” He shrugged his shoulders. “But I don’t know what that means. As for the money... Rea, they owe over a hundred grand. What we spend isn’t touching that. And he didn’t kidnap any of us. Don’t you get it? He wants to keep us away from it all. It’s to protect us.”
I pulled my hair back with frustration, wishing for a hair band to secure it. Even my hair on my shoulders pissed me off.
“They owe? No Dexter, you owe but you’re letting your brother go clean up your mess and you don’t even care--”
“I do care.” He cut me off, anger clear in his bruised face. “That’s my brother Rea. I care. But I know him and I know he knows what he’s doing. He’s going to be alright.”
The way Dexter said the last part, a bit shaky, belied the confidence he was trying to show. And it sucked the anger out of me. I sat on the couch, hollow.
Dexter moved to sit next to me. “You’ll see. It’s all going to be alright. He’ll be back soon, only a few days.”
I could tell he was still trying to convince himself, he had no chance of convincing me that it would be okay. The phone charger in my hand reminded me of my missed call and dead phone. Leaving Dexter on the couch, I went back to my room and plugged it in.
I kept tapping on the screen, impatient as I tried to get it to light up. When it finally did, I froze. My missed call was from Nan. An all-new kind of fear started sliding down my spine. Before my mind went crazy with questions I pressed the voicemail button and listened. Her voice was a whisper.
“Regan, please be okay. I-- Damien’s fucking losing it, talking all kinds of crazy. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I hope you’re okay. Don’t call me back, I’ll call when I can.”
My fingers shook over my screen. I couldn’t call her back, she had said before Damien would be pissed to know we were talking. Even though she was calling because she was worried about me, that message made me worry about her.
I called Gage, hoping for more information, but it went straight to voice mail. I was a breath away from freaking out. My muscles were urging me to throw my phone, but I knew I needed it. Especially since all my money was left back at my house. I was stuck.
Punching the pillows and bed didn’t help; neither did the push-ups I hammered out. The night had already settled on the city, but it was still bright, lit up. I wanted out of the room, but that could wait till morning. Out of options, I put my headphones on and let music drown out my emotions enough for me to sleep.
***
They spent the weekend in the hotel room. Dexter and Leona were self-conscious of their bruises, so mostly ordered food up. And I was out as often as I could, doing nothing but walking around. I broke and used Gage’s card to buy essentials like underwear, toothbrush, and a change of clothes, but little else. I barely even ate. And Gage didn’t call me until Monday.
>
I was in my room, doing sit-ups in bed just for something to do, when Dexter knocked.
“Rea, you decent?” He called through the door.
I sat up, “Yeah, come in.”
His bright grin looked better today; the purple shadows of bruising were blending into a yellow and brown. But his smile still made me want to punch him.
“She’s been good. Out touring the city.” He was talking into his phone and I hopped off the bed. “Alright, Alright, here she is.” He extended it to me.
I took it and paused, swallowing my anxiety. “Hello?”
“You like the city?” Gage’s voice sounded casual and smooth.
My heart dropped, and I had to turn away from Dexter to hide the emotion hearing his voice had caused. He sounded fine and alive. And I let the relief wash over me for a second. The anger quickly followed.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? You left without saying anything!” I paused as I heard his rumble of a laugh. “What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t funny.”
“Sorry,” he swallowed his laughter, but his voice still held amusement. “I missed that fire of yours. I like hearing it. I’ll be there soon and when it’s all done I can explain everything. I promise.”
I shook my head, speechless. I didn’t believe him.
“Say something,” he requested softly.
“Why should I? You’re not going to tell me anything. You’re going to keep making decisions for me. I want this to be over.” I was desolate; nothing was in my control.
“I know and I’m doing what I can. I have to go, but I want you to know one thing,” His voice dropped as he said, “I love you.” Before I could respond he hung up.
With the phone still pressed to my ear, I took a few breaths, smoothing my face before turning back around to Dexter.
“What did he say? Is everything alright?” he asked as he took his phone back.
“He didn’t say anything. He never does. Did he tell you anything?”
Outside The Ropes Page 26