by C. M. Marin
“There are no signs of head trauma, which means her drowsiness isn’t due to a concussion, and that’s good. It looks like her temperature and exhaustion were the main problems. You did good with the bath, although supposing that there had been traces of seminal fluids, the water most likely wiped them off,” he says and goes on in a rush when my jaw ticks. “There is not a single physical sign of rape, though, which is a very good thing because when the victim fights back, signs are always visible, even if it’s only slightly.”
“You think she could have been drugged?” Jayce steps in.
Which would easily explain why there are no physical signs of rape. No need to be a doctor to understand that. Under the influence of a drug, she wouldn’t have been able to fight the fuckers back.
“There’s a possibility, yes. That’s why she’s now the only one who can give you a sure answer about whether she was sexually assaulted. It would also explain why she can’t stay alert. I took some blood to test it,” he adds. “I’ll keep you updated on what I find. There is no fever or allergic reaction of any sort, which is also good.”
Inhaling deeply through my nose, I rub a hand on my face, barely able to master my volatile fury.
“What about the bruises? Her stomach?”
“Superficial. The one on her ribs is the worst. I don’t think anything is cracked, but an x-ray would be the only way to be sure. Overall, her breathing is solid, her heartbeat strong and steady. I think she’s mostly exhausted. If she’s in any pain when she wakes up, I left some painkillers on the nightstand. As for the blood on her shirt, you were right, it can’t be hers.”
“And her feet?” Jayce asks.
“The cuts and scratches show that she ran outside, so does her body temperature. We all know the temperature can drop around here at night, and the downpour we’ve had all night didn’t help. In my opinion, she spent a couple of hours outside. Either running or kept somewhere large enough for her to have tried to escape, I couldn’t say, but she definitely spent some time outside.”
Jayce shakes his head. “They wouldn’t have taken her anywhere but to their clubhouse. That’s where they’re untouchable.”
“You think she escaped before they got there?” I ask him.
“Sounds logical. It’s been about four hours since her house flared up. If she ran to the point of grazing hypothermia, she must have started running early on.”
I nod, all of it making sense. “Take the guys, search the desert between here and the Spiders’―”
“Before you say anything else, that’s where my duty ends,” Doc barges in, discreetly pointing out the fact I’ve started to say too much in front of him.
I’m losing focus here.
“Yeah, okay,” I mutter.
“No more than four painkillers a day, and only if she can’t go without. Also, if she starts having a fever, it could be an infection brought on from the scratches on her feet. I disinfected the grazes and small cuts, and since they aren’t deep by any means, it’s unlikely she’ll develop a fever. But if it happens, give me a call and I’ll be back with antibiotics.”
I give him one curt nod to agree to what he all said. “Thanks.”
Just as he walks away and down the stairs, I turn back to Jayce. “Not sure what you should look for, but the blood on her shirt doesn’t sit well with me. Besides, they might still be looking for her, probably in our territory, and they don’t have shit to do here.”
“Grant will be here soon. I called him to tell him they could go back, but he said they’d come anyway.”
“Good. You’ll have some backup if needed. Be careful anyway. Spiders have gotten reckless for some reason. I don’t know what’s up with Rod, so be careful.”
Rod is not only the president of a club that despises us, he’s also the sickest man I’ve come to meet. Even sicker than my father, which is saying something.
“Sure,” he answers, turning away.
“I’d come, but―”
“Don’t,” he cuts me off. “I’ll keep you posted.”
Jogging down the stairs, he shouts orders, and a ruffle of movements comes from downstairs as everyone launches into action.
Normally, I’d be right beside my brothers in such a situation. Then again, this exact situation is a damn first. So, tonight, I let them rush out as I don’t waste another moment and go back to the girl I haven’t been able to protect.
My breath hitches to see her lying there. She looks so fragile, buried under the covers, only her bruised face peeking out. I’m torn between racing toward the bed to wrap myself around her and going after the motherfuckers who did this to her so I can have the pleasure of burning them alive. But in the end, I can’t leave her. I need to stay here until I know she’s going to be fine.
As quietly as I possibly can, I grab some jeans in my drawer since mine are still damp from the bath, and I swing by the bathroom to quickly dry myself before going back to Cam. But despite my furious need to join her and nestle her wounded body into my arms, I restrain myself. First because I’m afraid I’d only hurt her more, but also because I have no idea whether she’d want anyone touching her right now.
Chapter 13
Camryn
Panic is what first crashes into me when I come back to enough consciousness for my brain to process where I am and what happened before sleep took me away. It’s like my breathing realizes that it shouldn’t be working so calmly and forces itself to engage in a crazy cadence as my body jolt upright. At the same time, my heart jumps into my chest, but only until a voice I remember having been dying to hear soothes it some.
“It’s okay, Camryn. You’re safe now. It’s okay.”
My gaze jerks to my right to see Nate rushing toward the bed, apparently coming from somewhere near the window. Some peace washes over me at the sight of him. I do feel safe when he’s near me.
A panic of his own is painted all over his face, so I’m surprised by the delicateness he puts into sitting down on his bed next to me. I’m only jostled a little by his cautious motions, but even that reveals how sore I am. Although less than I was before falling asleep.
My eyes lower to land on the shirt I’m wearing, and even though I’m relieved that the top I had on before is gone, the memory of it bullies the panic I just started to let go of into strengthening back full force as images of last night flash through my mind repeatedly. Vividly. Bloody images that asphyxiate me with the need to scream. But my hand coming up to cover my mouth keeps the cries locked in.
“Cam, what’s…”
I think that Nate’s voice follows me, but it’s like blood is all that thumps clearly into my ears as I fumble with the covers, my eyes already set on the bathroom door. As it was left slightly open, I push through it without slowing my pace down. Then I stagger all the way to the toilet before finally reaching it. Thank God the lid isn’t shut, because I barely have the time to fall on my knees before I vomit. My eyes water instantly, and even when I got rid of everything that was left in my stomach, nausea keeps making me dry heave forever.
At some point, once the sickness lets me breathe again, I discern the patterns drawn on my back by a soothing hand.
“It’s alright, baby,” Nate says, his voice strangely wavering.
I already had a peek at his vulnerability the day he confessed to me his sorrowful childhood, but he never showed even a glimpse of the emotion that seems to be controlling him now.
“Breathe slowly, you’re gonna be okay,” he goes on, his promise ending on a whisper.
There’s no doubt in my mind he believes that, but he also doesn’t know what happened. He wouldn’t sound so sure if he knew.
Despite being already on my knees, I can feel the moment my legs give way. As if they were made of jelly, they fail to support me altogether, and I end up sort of sitting right beside the toilet, my face half hovering over the bowl. My head is dizzy as the sickness lingers. The images of last night have taken a steady place in my mind. They’re impossible to erase.
I can’t get them to leave me alone. I just can’t.
My tears are hot and profuse as they course down my cheeks, preceding the sobs I fought tooth and nail but can’t hold back any longer. Now that the stinging cold stopped paralyzing my body and mind, what happened becomes too real again to be tolerable. So is the fear of what my future is going to be after last night.
Oh God, what am I going to do?
“Camryn, please, you need to calm down and talk to me,” Nate pleads with me. “I can help you, but you need to talk to me.”
Help me? How could he? No one can. It’s too late now.
“It’s…it’s too la…late,” I hiccup.
A deep breath later, I’m only shortly proud of myself for finally gathering enough courage to look at him. On his knees next to me, he’s white as a sheet and his eyes are closed as he seems to be processing the ugliness of what happened and can’t stomach the truth.
But it doesn’t make sense. He can’t possibly have guessed it.
“What did they do?” Somehow, he gets the words out without actually moving his lips, his jaw so tight I’m sure I’d hear his teeth grind if my heartbeat wasn’t still echoing in my ears.
When he opens his eyes, rather reluctantly, his brown irises scream a deep pain with a dark wrath simmering behind it.
Words are hanging on the tip of my tongue but shaking my head in repetitive slow motions is all I can do. I can’t hear myself say what those men wanted to do to me, let alone what I did to them. Somehow, he knows I was kidnapped by the Spiders, but I can’t probe for details about that either.
Fighting to keep my gaze on his, I implore him instead. “Can you hold me?”
His touch is the only thing that can quiet my thoughts at the moment. I can’t think of anything else to help me.
At first, he doesn’t move as some sort of surprise crosses his face. But then he sits down, his back going to rest against the shower panel right before he pulls me to him with a carefulness that has my tears leaking again.
I’m glad he’s shirtless. The skin of his chest is warm against my cheek when I lean into him, and he smells like this leather and mint scent of his even though he doesn’t even have his cut on. I breathe him in, hoping it’ll be enough for me to push away every splashing of red from behind my eyes.
“Are you hurting? Are you in pain?” he asks.
“I’m really sore, I guess, but I’m okay.”
My left cheek and my ribs are where the pain registers the most, but it’s in no way unbearable. Maybe when my brain starts to assimilate something other than the horrific events of last night, I will curse at my bruised body, but thankfully my numbness helps me put that aside for now.
“You want to tell me what happened?” His voice is quiet, almost like even him isn’t sure he wants me to relate that ghastly story. “You can tell me anything, baby,” he swears just as softly.
As his knuckles graze my unharmed cheek in a tender gesture, I can only wish it were true. I wish I could tell him everything, even that. But I can’t bring myself to do it, so I stay silent and wind my arms around his waist, holding on to him as tight as I possibly can.
“We’ve been thinking you ran at some point. Because of your feet,” he goes on. “Did they take you to their club?” he probes for an explanation, not giving up.
My attention shifts down to my bare feet. Scratches do cover them, but again, there’s no real pain.
“I ran away when they…when they veered off the road and stopped the car somewhere in the desert,” I tell him as my gaze rakes up my equally bare legs before settling on the long-sleeved shirt I’m wearing. “Is this your shirt?” I ask him, though I don’t know who else it’d belong to.
“Yeah. You were drenched and cold, so I warmed you up in a bath and put something dry on you.”
And dirty. I was drenched, cold and dirty. I swallow at the memory of how barely dressed I was when I got here. Shame at how many people saw me wearing so little grows instantly. The fact that those people were probably all guys doesn’t help.
“Is it where you ran? Did you run through the desert?”
I nod. “I ran toward here, because I wanted to get to you,” I admit. And not only because I had nowhere else to go, but because I knew I’d be safe once I found him. “But it was so dark, and I didn’t know where I was exactly. I just knew what direction I had to take, but it took me fifteen or maybe twenty minutes to find the road, and when I finally found it, I had to stay away from it because I was so afraid someone would come for me again.” I pause when my breathing speeds up again, but only very shortly because I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell him everything if I don’t get it out now. “At some point, I was so tired I had no choice but walk. I even sat down for a while when I realized I wouldn’t find you and―”
“Hey, hey,” Nate blurts out as his hands come to press softly on either side of my face, bringing me to look at him. “I’m here, you found me, okay? You found me.”
Blinking away the tears that blur my vision, I nod around an inelegant sniffle and put my story on hold. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stave off the sobs for long if I resume talking.
“The guys are still out there, mostly watching for Spiders around our territory and checking abandoned warehouses and stuff to try to find out what happened to you.”
“You think they’re still looking for me?”
The murmur I can manage wavers with a lingering fear I don’t even try to hide.
“They’re not getting near you again, Camryn,” he affirms, his voice so fierce and hard I can only believe him.
When his phone buzzes in the pocket of his jeans, torment dances on his features. For a long moment, he seems to want to let the call go to his voicemail, but with a heavy breath, he finally decides to tear his phone out.
“Yeah,” he snaps at whoever is on the other side of the line. “Camryn’s awake…” he adds, but he’s most likely cut short, because he then only listens for a moment before hanging up, no goodbyes exchanged. His voice softens all over again when he addresses me. “Baby, that was Jayce. Said they found a SUV with what could be your pajamas inside, and two dead Spiders. Baby, what happened?”
Two dead Spiders. If I hadn’t been in that desert last night, I could easily pretend that two actual spiders died. But it’s not spiders that died, and the tears flow harder down my face as I can’t bear to keep my eyes on Nate.
“Camryn, no. Don’t. Look at me,” he gently commands, and I comply even though I know I won’t be able to handle his disgust staring at me once he knows. “I meant it earlier. You can tell me anything.”
I’m not convinced of that, but at this point, he’s the only one who can possibly help me.
“Those two men…” I already trail off to swallow hard. “What they…” A whimper leaves me before I take one huge breath to give me the courage to say it once and for all. “They said they’d bring me to their clubhouse, but that before doing that, they wanted…” Once again, the words hang in the air, but considering the patchwork of pain and rage darkening his features, Nate got my unsaid thought just fine.
Anguished sobs seize me then. “I’m so sorry, Nate. I didn’t want to…it’s not…I didn’t have a choice. I would rather have died than let them do what they wanted to do to me,” I say, and I mean it.
I would rather have died than endure that.
“Wait, wait, wait,” he steps in while I’m busy catching my breath. “Does that mean… Are you saying they didn’t…”
He doesn’t seem to be more inclined than I am to voice that.
I shake my head swiftly several times, and his whole body relaxes against mine.
Was that what he thought had happened to me? Apparently, it was.
“The guy in the back seat with me didn’t hold a weapon, and when he ordered me to take off my yoga pants all the way…” I pause when my voice breaks, but I go on quickly, firing the words like I can’t get them out fast enough. “I had to bend over to do it, and there was a gu
n right there, between the two front seats. I used my pants to hide myself grabbing it. I didn’t know if it was loaded. I didn’t even know if I’d know how to use it or if I’d find the courage to use it, but I had to try. I was so sick thinking about what they wanted to do. My hands were shaking so badly, and I was so scared, but I remembered what you said about them being dangerous, and I just knew that it was them or me. So, when the one beside me realized what I had done, he tried to reach for his gun, but I shot him before he could. And then I shot the driver. I’m so sorry, Nate. I swear I didn’t want to do that, and then I ran. I didn’t even get my pants back, I was so scared, I just ran,” I sob. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Chapter 14
Nate
Fucking hell.
For the longest time, no words can form in my mouth. All I can manage to do is draw Camryn even closer to me and let her cry into my chest. Cradling her face against me, I drop the softest kisses on her hair while my brain works on processing what she just confessed to me.
Fucking hell.
Out of all the scenarios that tortured my head for a handful of hours while I watched her fragile body get some brief rest, this one never even grazed my mind. And it’s a damn hard one to picture.
The murderous fury that’s been swirling inside me since she went missing is no longer directed at the Spiders. It’s me I could beat the shit out of right now. I let her go back home because I dreaded her feeling trapped by a guy she met a week ago and who belongs to an MC. And what good did that do? This sweet, kind girl had to press the trigger of a gun and take two lives because of that guy.
Because of me.
This is something she won’t ever forget. Every detail of last night is going to stay etched in her mind forever. Every word, every touch, every smell, is going to follow her. And she’ll probably never realize she did something so fucking brave. Instead, she’ll blame herself and live with a tormenting guilt gnawing at her. An unwarranted one, but she’ll never see that.