by Koko Brown
Tam’s thoughts strayed to her mother who time and time again chose the random men in her life over her own daughter. Tam had only seen her mother once since she was kicked out of her house and frankly that had been too many times. Tam never really thought about the woman who’d given birth to her because honestly, she’d never been much of a mother in the first place. Some of Tam’s earliest memories were being left home alone to fend for herself while her mother was out getting drunk. Often there was no food in the house and Tam had resorted to digging food out of the garbage because she was so hungry, which is why living on the streets wasn’t as big a hardship as it would have been for most people. She was used to being cold, hungry and uncared for.
Seamus must have been reflecting as well because he’d gone silent and neither spoke for the remainder of the drive to their destination. A half an hour later, they pulled up to a little diner that was situated by the docks just as Seamus had said it would be.
After he helped Tam out of the car, he led her into an unassuming diner. Tam had dressed for a night of entertaining at the Devil’s Den so the sequined black cocktail dress that exposed her entire back seemed out of place. “I feel a little overdressed.” She looked around, noticing that the few other diners around wore casual clothing.
“It doesn’t matter. You look beautiful.”
“Seamus! Having seen you around, my boy!” An older portly man came up to greet them.
“I’ve been traveling a lot lately. I’m finally back in the city for a while.”
Roy patted Seamus on the shoulder. “I hope you stop by more often. And who is this lovely young lady?”
Seamus looked at Tam and hesitated for a moment. “Uh, this is Tamryn. A friend.”
Roy smiled and took Tam’s hand. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you Tamryn. Any friend of Seamus’s is a friend of mine. Let me get you two seated and I’ll bring you two menus. The special tonight is your favorite: seafood potpie.”
Tam hadn’t known what to expect from this night but this certainly wasn’t it. It seemed Seamus was full of surprises, and she had a feeling this night was going to be one she wouldn’t soon forget.
EIGHT
Things were getting out of hand with Tamryn. It was bad enough that once hadn’t been enough for Seamus, but he had to have her all the time. She invaded his thoughts morning, noon and night, and every night he’d go to the club in hopes that it would be the time when his obsession had come to an end. But here he was, five months later and he was nowhere close to being done with her. Before she’d entered his life, the longest he’d ever been with any of the girls at the Devil’s Den was a couple months tops, one girl having lasted three, but only because he’d done a lot of traveling during that time and visited the club sporadically.
Normally he didn’t interfere with their work schedules when he wasn’t there, but he’d left strict instructions with Natalia that Tamryn wasn’t to entertain any other guests. He found himself leaving his office early to go visit the building just to take Tamryn for meals or shopping. She never seemed particularly impressed with the gifts he showered on her and maybe that was why he was so generous with his time and money when it came to her. There was no other woman he’d met at the Devil’s Den that he’d wanted to spend this much time with. In fact, there wasn’t any woman who’d gotten under his skin the way she had. Not since his first love, who’d put him off the idea of commitment in the first place.
And this made Tamryn dangerous.
He couldn’t figure out the type of hold she had on him. But finally, he decided that when it came right down to it, he saw something within her that he must have recognized the first time he saw her standing outside staring at him in the restaurant. She was a kindred spirit.
His mind drifted to that dinner on the docks a few months back. Seamus had secretly been impressed that where he’d taken her didn’t seem to bother Tamryn. That was one of the things that he liked about her. She remained unbothered about a lot of things, probably because like him she’d suffered real hardship. Most people assumed that because of where he was today, he didn’t have to scrape and fight for everything he had. He found himself opening up to her in ways he’d never done with anyone else and that scared the fuck out of him.
“How did you find this place?” Tamryn looked around the diner as they waited for their orders.
Seamus observed the expression on her face to gauge if he read disgust but he thankfully saw none. Natalia had been the only other woman he’d brought here and she’d complained the entire time. He couldn’t understand why but he wanted her to like this place as much as he did because Roy’s diner meant a lot to him. He owed much of his survival to this unassuming little restaurant.
“I went to this fancy private school not too far away from here when I was younger. I fucking hated it so I’d skip classes a lot and I wound up here. Roy and his wife took pity on me and would feed me every time I visited. And I’d always sit in this booth because I could see the ships come in and out of port. It was just kind of soothing, you know.”
“Why did you hate school so much?” Tamryn asked softly.
Normally, he would have shut most people down when they asked him lots of questions about his personal life, but Tamryn seemed to ask out of obvious interest rather than to be a busybody. “My father was a well-known figure in the Irish mob. My grandfather had built up a pretty large bootlegging empire, but after prohibition, it was harder to turn a profit. It was my father who moved his interests into racketeering, drugs, and guns. Had the Feds on his back for years but they could never pin anything on him.”
“So the kids at school knew who your father was and gave you a hard time?” Tamryn guessed correctly.
Seamus nodded. He’d gotten into so many fights when he was younger; the only thing that had kept him from getting expelled was the generous donations his father would make.
“That’s sad. Kids can be cruel.”
Seamus shrugged. “The kids I could handle. After they realized that I was willing to get physical they left me alone. It was the adults who were the worst.”
“What did your parents say about it?”
“My mother died in childbirth. Never knew her. My old man told me I needed to toughen up.”
“If they were the ones giving you a hard time, I can’t exactly blame you for skipping so much. And it’s too bad your father never had your back. I can relate. My mother wouldn’t exactly win Parent of the Year.”
“Your mother?”
She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t always live on the streets. My mother is one of those people who should have never procreated. I think she only had me because she waited too long to get an abortion or at least that’s what she used to tell me. I was always an afterthought to her, and….” When her voice trailed off, she looked down at her lap and shivered as if she was reliving a particularly painful memory. “…and to the parade of men she’d bring around. The men left me alone for the most part until I started to develop and a few of them would come on to me. The couple of times I tried to tell my mother she’d say I did something to get that attention. I was just a child. Her last boyfriend was the worst. He’d walk into the bathroom when I was taking a shower. The lock was broken so I resorted to putting a stopper beneath the door so he couldn’t open it all the way. He’d pop my bra straps and do all kinds of weird and creepy shit. I knew it was useless telling my mother because she’d blame me. But then one day when he crossed the line. He tried to rape me and he might have gotten away with it if my mother didn’t catch him.”
“And let me guess, she blamed you.”
“Not only that, she kicked me out afterward. I’m just lucky I was able to collect some personal belongings before I left otherwise I would have had nothing.”
“Did you ever see her again?”
“Once, I was working a job at a restaurant bussing tables. I saw her with a different boyfriend. I know she saw me, but then she pretended like she didn’t know me.”
Seamus could see the pain on Tamryn’s beautiful face as she relived that memory. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “Don’t be. It’s really hard to feel something for a person that never really gave a damn about you in the first place. In a way, I have her neglect and callousness to thank for making me stronger. I don’t think I would have survived the streets if it hadn’t been for that.”
“That’s an interesting way of looking at things.”
“My father never gave a damn about me until I started acting out. He thought that throwing me in a fancy private school and having ‘keepers’ watch over me was sufficient parenting. In a rare moment he said that he’d tried to keep me out of the life as a promise to my mother but after his enemies came after me, he told me he was doing me a disservice because I was too soft and didn’t know how to protect myself. I’ve been in the life ever since.”
By then Roy had come by to take their orders. “You’ve been here a lot, why don’t you order something for me,” Tamryn suggested.
Once their orders were taken they fell silent. Seamus had never been this open with anyone about his past before but somehow it just felt natural talking to Tamryn like this. Having dealt with struggles of her own she understood the fundamentals of survival.
She was the one to break the silence. “It’s funny that you mention being raised in this area because every time you talk, I detect a bit of an accent.”
“You do. I lived in Ireland for about ten years. When my dad was getting a lot of heat from his rivals and the feds, he thought it would be best to ship me off to stay with some distant relatives. I was twelve. And in that time I was overseas, I became even more immersed in the family business. By sixteen, I was running my own rackets. But this lifestyle can’t sustain a person forever. You either die young, end up locked away or live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. That’s no fucking way to live.”
“But from what I’ve heard the others say about you at the club is that you’re a pretty respected businessman.”
“Businessman, yes. Respected? Not so much if you think fear and respect are interchangeable. Most people in my business circles tolerate me because of my money. Without it, they would relegate me to nothing but a two-bit thug. I’d be no better than Darrius, who by the way would have had you on a street corner by the end of the day had I not shown up.”
She leaned back in her seat. “But are you any different from Darrius? The women at the Devil’s Den are paid to entertain rich people. Those girls on the streets are also earning their living on their backs.”
“Let me ask you this? Are those women at the Devil’s Den free to come and go as they please?”
Tamryn crinkled her forehead as if his question gave her pause. “Yes, but—”
“And are they given comfortable living quarters and a generous monthly allowance on top of what they bring in for entertaining clients?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not—”
“And is anyone being forced, beaten or being threatened with harm?”
“No.”
“And that’s the difference between me and Darrius. Sweetheart, for someone who’s lived on and off the streets as you have, I’m surprised you haven’t realized that we’re all prostitutes in our own way. The only difference between the women who sell their bodies for money and everyone else is that they’re honest about what they’re doing. Now I understand why you may think that I’m no better than a pimp, and some may agree with you but to do things in exchange for something is essentially what a prostitute is. She gives her body in exchange for money. Her john gets sex or a thrill or whatever else it is they’re looking for. And wives they want a ring in exchange for a respectable title, while husbands are willing to give it to them for unfettered access to said wives’ bodies. Everyone is, for lack of better word, a whore for something.”
She raised a brow. “And what are you a whore for?”
“Freedom,” he answered simply.
That night had started something Seamus had not intended. He and Tamryn had somehow formed a silent bond that he couldn’t quite explain. They’d sat in that diner well past closing and when Roy finally kicked him out so that he could lock up, Seamus and Tam had walked along the docks and talked. She told him about her ambitions to get her degree and to be independent. Her eventual goal was to work with at-risk kids so that they wouldn’t end up on the street like her. He surprisingly found her a great conversationalist and highly intelligent. He confided things in her that he’d never told anyone and she listened. Not just pretended to but he could tell that she actually took in everything he said from her responses and how when he just wanted to vent, she never interrupted.
Despite where he was now in life he’d struggled, and Tamryn seemed to understand and empathize because she’d had her own trials. Around her, he could let his guard down. He was certain it wouldn’t be long before his heart would be engaged and he couldn’t allow that to happen. If life had taught him anything it was that people and women, in particular, would let him down, which is why he’d made up his mind.
He’d have to cut her off. Or whatever it was between them. It was bad enough that he’d allowed things to go on this long.
By the time he entered the club there was a lot of activity buzzing around him. Tamryn was by the bar, taking a sip from a colorful drink as she chatted with the bartender. Seamus pushed away the twinge of jealousy he felt seeing her talking to another man. That fleeting feeling only firmed his resolve. He had to do what he had to do or risk losing his head over someone who would eventually be his downfall.
She must have noticed him staring because she smiled at him. When Tamryn looked as if she would walk toward him, he purposely turned his back to her and scanned the room. He saw an attractive redhead saunter his way. She must have been new because he didn’t recognize her or she wasn’t someone Seamus had ever noticed.
“Mr. Haggerty. How are you tonight?” She boldly placed her hand on his chest and offered him a seductive smile. It left him cold but that didn’t matter. She would be perfect for what he had in mind.
He smiled back. “Better now that you’re here. How about we get a drink at the bar?”
She linked her arm through his. “I thought you’d never ask. I’m surprised you’re even talking to little ol’ me.”
“Oh? Why is that? You’re a beautiful woman. Why wouldn’t I be talking to you?”
“Well, maybe because you seem to have a type.” Her green gaze strayed toward the bar and Seamus realized she was looking at Tamryn from the self-satisfied smirk that curved her painted lips.
“Well, you’re my type tonight and to be frank, I’m not interested in beating around the bush. How about we take this upstairs?”
His companion’s grin widened. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Seamus didn’t bother to turn to see if Tamryn was watching as he led the redhead out the room.
Tam had prepared herself for this moment but she didn’t think it would happen in such a humiliating way. It didn’t help that she felt several pairs of eyes turned in her direction. She was well aware that a lot of the hostesses were inwardly celebrating the fact that Seamus had shunned her. What was worse, he’d gone off with one of the very women who made her time here miserable. Truth be told, she probably would have left the Devil’s Den a few months back. Julie was the only one who talked to her with regularity and a couple of the other girls were civil but the rest were downright bitches. They seemed to go out of their way to exclude Tam from anything they did together. They’d talk behind her back and whenever she would approach them all conversation would stop. It didn’t help that Natalia seemed to hate her guts, getting her sly digs about Tam’s past in whenever she could.
Seamus had been the only ‘client’ she’d entertained, but Tam had gotten a huge bump in her allowance. It was more money than she’d ever made in her life. In fact, it was more than enough to put down a security deposit and first and last month rent on a reasonably priced r
ental and have a modest savings account to tide her over until she found stable employment elsewhere. In addition to that, she could also focus on the continuation of her education. She’d been taking some online courses during the day over the last several weeks, but for what Tam wanted to do with her future career she needed clinical hours. In order to get those, she’d actually have to get some kind of internship through the local college.
Though she’d come to the Devil’s Den under questionable circumstances, Tam doubted that Natalia would stop her if she decided to quit and it seemed as if Seamus wouldn’t care either.
Whenever she’d been with Seamus, Tam told herself that he was just a client and not to get attached, but each time they were together, another layer was peeled and she saw so much in him that she never expected. He was damaged liked her. She saw a man who for all his expensive suits and fancy cars was still that vulnerable kid who’d been kidnapped and tortured, wondering if he’d live to see another day. When Seamus had shared that experience with her, she silently wept for the child that he was. It hurt her that he’d experienced so much grief from a young age. And it didn’t help that he had a neglectful parent on top of that. Even though their lives had taken different paths, with Seamus delving into the underworld and Tam’s life on the streets, they both wanted something different for themselves. Tam wanted to be independent and use her experience to help children. Seamus, on the other hand, had been working for the last handful of years to distance himself from the legacy his father had left behind.
Outside of the incredible, earth-shattering sex, she felt as if they’d developed somewhat of a friendship. He’d take her out on his boat, on shopping sprees, and sometimes, they’d simply take a stroll down by the docks. And they’d talk. That was her favorite part. She learned so much about him and she’d opened up about herself. The fact that he didn’t extend the courtesy of telling Tam that he was done with her underlined how little she’d meant to him all along.