MOONSHINE
By: Regina Bartley
Cover Art and Design
By: Regina Wamba at
www.maeidesign.com
Copyright
Moonshine
Copyright © 2013 Regina Bartley
All rights reserved.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity between actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any use of locales, or events are used fictitiously.
For my Mother
The strongest woman I know.
She taught me the meaning of strength and showed me that life goes on!
I love you Momma!
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” -Unknown
Prologue
Dear Mom and Dad,
I can’t go on living this way with all of these lies. It’s time for me to say goodbye to this life. No one will understand why I have to do this. For me there is no way out of this darkness, except death. I’m so sorry. I know that an apology is not what you want to hear and you will never understand what has caused me this grief. But please know that it had nothing in the world to do with you. Sometimes when something bad happens we just can’t escape it, and sometimes people are strong enough to go on. I’m not, and I know that now.
I wanted so badly to be the daughter I used to be. I hate what my pain has caused you. I know that when I am gone you will be less miserable. Everyone will be able to go on without the worry they have been carrying for me. I never meant to hurt you or disappoint you, but there is no other way to take away this pain I feel inside my heart. I am just not strong enough. I am suffocating and I can’t breathe. Please forgive me. I love you both and I will see you again someday.
All my love,
Shine
Dear Moon,
I hope one day you will understand why I’m doing this. I have been a shitty friend for quite some time now and nothing that I can say will change that. I love you beyond words. You will always be my best friend, my very best friend in the whole world. I just can’t go on living this way. I’m sorry it has to end like this, and I am sorry that I have blocked you from my life these past few months. Something tragic happened in my life and I didn’t have the strength to overcome it. I used to picture my life and every moment with you in it. I’m so sorry, Moon. There’s no other way. I want you to know that nothing was your fault. My death will be solely on my shoulders alone. It’s because I am weak and can’t take the pressure. It’s because all of this pain has filled up my chest so tight that I can’t breathe for another minute.
I know that you will feel responsible and blame yourself, but I don’t want you to do that. It was me that pushed you away. Me!! Please forgive me, and live the life that you were meant to live. Love the one that you were meant to love. You will be much better off without me in it. Goodbye my moon!
All my love,
Shine
1
April 21, 2011
This is the day my life changed. I lost my best friend, my innocence, and my mind. My name is Shine Craven, and I am from Davis County, Arkansas and this is my story…
Shine
“Shine, would you get your ass in gear and come on? You’re gonna make us late for school again!” Ryker yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
“I’m coming. Don’t get your panties in a wad. Geez,” I pulled my skinny jeans up onto my hips, and put on a navy blue tank top that was a little too tight, but oh well. I slipped my cowboy boots over my jeans and bounced down the stairs to meet him.
“Took you long enough, Shorty,” he pulled on my braid. I swatted his hand.
“Aren’t you sweet,” I pinched his cheeks tightly.
“Let’s go.”
“What about breakfast?”
“Covered,” he pulled an un-open pack of strawberry Pop Tarts from his loosely fitted jeans.
“Thanks Moon.” I slugged his arm. “Bye Mom,” I yelled as we hurried through the kitchen and out the back door.
“Bye kids. Drive safely with my baby, Moon.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
The drive to school was just like every other day. Moon drove, I nagged, and we fought over the stereo, but I always won. Or maybe he just agreed with me to shut me up. As long as I didn’t make him listen to girly pop songs, I could usually persuade him.
Ryker Morgan is my very best friend in the world. He has lived next door to me since 4th grade. He moved there with his mom and dad. I still remember that first day they moved into the house across the street. My parents had invited the Morgan’s over for a barbeque to welcome them to the neighborhood. He was an only child like me, and they wanted us to be friends. At the time, awkward would be the best word to describe him. He spent the whole barbeque staring at me. I kept asking my mom if he was a freak, but she said that boys his age did that, and that he must have thought I was pretty. I pointed my finger to the back of my throat and made a gagging sound. Later that night we sat side by side on the swing set, of course it was not by my choice. He followed me everywhere I went. I remember he got up and stood in front of me, blocking me from swinging. He said, “I know why your name is Shine. It’s because your eyes shine as bright as the stars.” Then he kissed my cheek.
I pushed him as hard as I could and he fell into the grass. “Well your head is as big as the moon, Freako,” I yelled right before I kicked him in the shin and ran into the house crying. It took me weeks to forgive the little knobby knee boy, but I did. He has been Moon -my best friend, ever since.
Moon and I ride to school together every day. I have a license, but he has a Mustang, so it’s a no brainer.
“I know you have cheerleading practice, but I have to work. Papaw wants me to work every night this week at the farm. I won’t be able to pick you up from practice.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“No problem.” I shut the car door behind me. “I’ll text mom. She’ll come and get me.”
“Okay,” he answered.
The entire cheer squad hangs out by the side of the school every morning. I knew exactly where I’d find them, doing what they do best, nothing. I know I am one of them, you know, part of the team, but there was no doubt that I carried the brains of this operation. Ten girls whose I.Q. combined didn’t equal mine, yet they were still my friends, at least most of them.
“I’ll see you in 2nd period Moon,” I called over my shoulder as I headed to my girls.
The girls always have something to say about Moon and me. Usually it is just a load of crap, so I try not to pay much attention to them. They swear he is in love with me, but I know better. He’s my best friend, and nothing else. I guess the thought of being with him romantically doesn’t bother me, per say. Who am I kidding? I’ve had a crush on that boy for as long as I can remember. I would never tell him that. I know he doesn’t think of me that way. We have been friends far too long, and if he loved me like that he would tell me.
“Ryker sure looks good today. It’s a real shame that he only has eyes for Shine,” Melody glared at me over the top of her designer sunglasses. Just because I love Moon doesn’t mean that anyone else needs to know that. It’s my secret and I wouldn’t share it with these loud mouth girls. Not in a New York minute.
“Whatever. You are so wrong. Ask him out. I am sure he’ll take you.” Not that I want him too. She is not his type. He is a 6’3” farmer tanned, brown hair, blue eyed, country boy. I am talking Red Wing work boots and all. She is a 5’5” fake tan, fake blonde hair, boobs are questionable, and never worked a day in her life, city girl.
“I’d love to take his fine ass out.”
“Go ahead and ask him. I
t won’t bother me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Okay, I will.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and followed the rest of the girls inside.
The thought of her and Moon being together for any reason makes me sick, but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing. I have seen him date girls before, just a few and nothing real serious. He isn’t a virgin anymore either. It bothered me a lot at first, but now we can laugh about it. He was only fifteen. He didn’t love Beth, but after three weeks of dating they were quick to jump in the sack. They were together for two months before they broke up. He said that she was clingy and that she was jealous of our friendship. Beth didn’t bother me, not like Melody does. I know that it’s because Melody is superficial and only wants him for a piece of ass. And maybe I am jealous because Melody is so pretty despite her fakeness. She is everything I am not. I am only 5’3”, brown hair, and blue eyes, and I am definitely no beauty queen. I can’t compete with her and I will be late for class if I keep thinking about it.
The first half of the day went by quickly. I warned Moon that Melody was going to ask him out. He said she was too easy for him, and that was all the reassuring I needed. I couldn’t wait for her to ask him now. This shit was going to be funny.
At lunch she decided to attack. I saw it in her eyes. She was a lion ready to pounce, and I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she got rejected.
“E-Z Melody is making her way to you, Stud Muffin.” I wagged my eyebrows, and shook my ass as I walked away to our table. When I looked back over my shoulder his eyes were still glued to my ass, and he didn’t care a bit that I caught him. My face heated up and so did my southern regions. If that boy only knew what he could do to me, just with his eyes?
Melody stomped off in the direction of the doors, and I loved every minute of it. I sang “We are the Champions” in my head, and wanted so badly to get up and do a victory dance. If I couldn’t have him, I certainly didn’t want her to either.
He rolled his big blue eyes when he sat down next to me, swallowing the seat up. He was a big guy. Not fat, but built, and a farmer tan that I would like to lick right off him. “Did you see her? She looked like a damn raccoon with all that black crap around her eyes.” He shook the loose strands of his dark hair out of his face.
“She thinks that makes her look pretty.” I batted my lashes at him. He just laughed.
“Well, it looked ridiculous.”
“Did you let her down gently?”
“I tried, but she wasn’t taking no for an answer. So, I had to be not so gentle and flat-ass tell her no, and you saw what happened. Chicks,” he huffed shaking his head. “Then she said I told her no, because I was in love with you.”
I nearly choked on my water. I wasn’t expecting those words. This was territory we never crossed. Don’t get me wrong, there were times when I could jump on top of him and take serious advantage, but I didn’t for fear that he wouldn’t love me back. He has no clue that this is the way I feel about him, and I am too chicken to tell.
“What did you say to that?” I asked never taking my eyes off my tray of food.
2
Moon
What did I say to that? Well, I know what I wanted to say, but I sure as hell didn’t. “I told her not to be jealous.” I elbowed Shine. She never looked at me, but she had a big smile on her face. This girl doesn’t know what she does to me. I have tried to make her jealous by dating other girls, but that didn’t work. I know it would work with Melody, but I wouldn’t do that. Shine can’t stand her, and there was no way in hell that I was dating Melody, easy screw or not. I don’t care. The girl is nasty.
I wish I had enough balls to just tell Shine that I love her and I have since day one, but I don’t. I should have Pansy tattooed on my ass cheek, right under stupid ass-hat. I guess after so many years of being friends I just don’t want to jack things up. Again, I am a pansy ass-hat.
Shine continued eating not saying much to me, but she didn’t have to. I was aware of her; at least I know my body was. I love this girl, I mean really love her, but damn her fine body has a way to make me weak at the knees. I try not to act like a dog in heat and drool all over her, but she makes it so hard; literally. Every time her leg brushed mine I would groan under my breath, while silently singing “Sweet Home Alabama.” It was my go-to song for the hard on. Lately I would have to sing it twice to tame it. Traitor…
We finished our lunch with no more stupid talks about Melody. I was glad. I followed Shine out of the lunch room and walked her to her next class. We only had one more period together which wasn’t until the end of the day and it was Advanced French which we wouldn’t even be allowed to talk English in. It. Sucked. Ass. I only took the stupid class so that I would get to be with her. I took French every year with her and barely passed. Now we are taking advanced French. All I know is she better start freaking tutoring me soon or I’ll never make it. Shine has always talked about going to Europe the summer after high school. It’s always been a dream of hers. So we have now succeeded three glorious years of French. Yippee!
I left her to her next class and headed towards mine. I couldn’t wait for this week to end. I had been working on Papaw’s farm so much lately that I wasn’t getting to spend any time with her. I planned on changing that, come Saturday. She would be mine for the whole weekend. I’d make sure of it.
When I got into next period I took my seat, which because I was late was in the front row. Guess who sat next to me? Yep, Melody… This day just keeps getting better and better.
“Melody,” I spoke, keeping my eyes ahead as I took my seat.
“Hey Ryker,” she said twisting in her seat to face me. I cringed when I heard her say my name. I was trying to just ignore her but she wouldn’t back down. She was pretty nice to look at, I will admit. Those big tits that jumped out of the top of her shirt were a definite weakness, but as soon as she would open that mouth of hers it was like nails on a chalkboard. Ugh… She was still talking and I just wanted her to shut her face. She finally did when the bell rang, and I ignored her the rest of the period. She needs a serious reality check.
I spent most of the period texting Josh about everybody’s plans for the weekend. The more attention I gave my phone the less I would have to give Melody.
Josh has been a good buddy of mine since I moved here. He’s my best bud, besides Shine. He sometimes helps out with the farm work if Papaw needs the extra hands. He got himself a scholarship playing baseball and would be leaving me behind next year for some big city, and college. Shine would be leaving me too, but I try not to think about it. I don’t have plans yet for after graduation. I know that I need to go to school, but my grades suck. Who knows what will happen? My father has always been on my ass about making a name for myself. He is a prosecuting attorney, and I guess he expects me to follow in his footsteps. I am definitely not law school material, and even if I was he would be the last set of footsteps that I’d want to follow in. The only thing that I seem to do best is farm, and that’s not good enough for him. He told me just the other day to get the stick out of my ass and do something with my life. You know what that made me want to do? Jack Shit!
3
Shine
I walked into French class, and took the seat next to Moon. He saved me a spot. He was smiling so big with those straight, white teeth. I loved it. Everything about this boy screams sexy. He has a set of abs that you could wash clothes on, and just thinking about them made me hot all over. I smiled back at him as I slid into my seat. I couldn’t help but think of the tattoo that set under that shirt. A couple of months ago he had gotten a half moon tattooed on his chest on the side where his heart is. I love it. I haven’t told him yet but I plan on getting a matching one this weekend.
“How has your day been?” I asked him.
“Long,” he sighed, stretching out as far as he could. His legs were so long that his feet nearly touched the girls feet who sat in front of him. I couldn’t help but to
stare at him. Even the way that he leaned back in his chair was sexy. “Checking out the goods, Shine baby?” He asked.
“Of course I am. Don’t lay it all out there and expect me not to look.” I flirted. I always flirted. He always started it.
“You can look all you want, I have no shame.”
I just rolled my eyes. “You better set your ass up and pay attention, and quit speaking English. You know that Mrs. Vail will send you home with a dozen extra homework sheets if you don’t speak French.”
“Damn that woman,” he sighed. “I am so far behind, and with Papaw working me all these extra hours, I can barely handle the work I have.”
“Quit fussing, you big baby. You know you barely passed French last year so why are you taking it again?”
“I knew that you would miss me too much.”
“Uh-huh, we know who would be missing whom.” I replied. He was actually right, but I wouldn’t tell him that.
He rolled his eyes. “So are you gonna help me or not?”
“I suppose, but you will owe me big time. Got it buster?”
“Yes ma’am,” he winked at me. “I will repay you this weekend. Don’t make any plans for Saturday because that’s my day. It’s just gonna be me and you, okay?”
“Sounds good to me, but you will have to go with me someplace.”
“Where?” he asked.
“I had planned on getting a tattoo.” I technically had a month before I turned eighteen, but mom agreed to sign for me. She knew that I would go back in a month and do it anyway.
“Really?” his eyes got really big and he scanned my body like I was a juicy steak and he was a hungry bear. “What are you getting, and where on that body are you going to put it?”
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