by Susan Lewis
Andee had lost count of the number of times she’d heard that phrase from frightened, desperate people, trying to make some sense of their tra-gedies when there was no sense to be found.
After leaving Blue Ocean Park she took a longer route into town, past the haulage firm that Gavin occasionally worked for, where she paused for a moment. The yard was all locked up, with not a soul in sight, only an emergency number printed on a board over the chains and padlocks of the gates.
From there she drove on to the Poynters’ mansion where she stopped again, though apart from the high pink walls and black iron gates there was nothing to see. After making a few notes, she put the car in reverse and turned around to head back to Kesterly.
‘Here are the times of the crossings from Dover,’ Leo told her, handing her a printout as she entered the incident room. ‘As we’re not sure what time Sikora set out from Krakow, and the girlfriend isn’t either – this is presuming that he did set out . . .’
‘You’ve tried ringing him?’
‘Of course, but he’s not answering.’
‘You’ve got Kasia to try?’
‘Yes, but he’s not picking up for her either, so there’s nothing to say that he actually is on the way. We’re only going to know for certain once he shows up, and when that’s going to be . . . The window’s about as big as they come, but all the ports have been alerted, so if he does come through he’ll be taken in straight away.’
‘Do they know how important the van is? We need to find out if she was ever in it.’
‘Yes, they know.’ He regarded her curiously. ‘Are you OK? You seem a bit . . .’ He shrugged.
‘A bit what?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’m fine. Just listening.’ Glancing at her mobile as it rang she saw it was Martin and decided she really didn’t want to speak to him now, so left the call to go to messages.
‘The boxes you found in the Poynters’ study,’ she said, calling up the case notes, ‘what was in them?’
Clearly surprised by the question, Leo replied, ‘Some new-fangled locking devices. Apparently they’re for the higher-end caravans.’
As she found the entry for his first visit to the Poynters her mobile rang again, and again a few minutes later. Accepting that Martin wasn’t going to stop until she answered, she finally clicked on. ‘Martin, I’m at work . . .’
‘I know, Alayna told me, but this won’t take long. What I said last night about Brigitte . . .’
‘For goodness sake, I really don’t want to discuss it now . . .’
‘What you didn’t give me the chance to say was that if I was ever going to marry anyone, it would be you.’
As the words hit her she froze. Then, getting up from her chair, she marched into the corridor, found a free office and closed the door. ‘How dare you?’ she seethed. ‘That you have the audacity to presume I’d marry you after everything you’ve done . . .’
‘I didn’t ask you,’ he laughed over her. ‘I said, if I was going to . . .’
Her mouth opened and closed.
‘That’s how you leap to conclusions,’ he told her.
‘I’m going to ring off now,’ she said stiffly, ‘and we’ll pretend this conversation never happened.’
By the time she returned to the incident room she was trying not to laugh herself. He’d always had a way of doing that to her, taking the wind right out of her sails and leaving her with nowhere to go, or feeling foolish, or ready to throttle him.
What would Brigitte say if she knew that was how he felt?
It wasn’t until she started down to her car, much later in the day, that she realised he hadn’t commented on the fact that she’d met someone else. Maybe he hadn’t heard. Or, knowing him, he’d decided not to take it seriously. He’d tell himself it was simply something she’d said to try and save face, or to get him worried. Maybe he was worried. It could explain why he’d made the call. She wondered what Alayna had said to him, or indeed what he had told Alayna.
She guessed she’d find out when she got home.
‘Is Luke back yet?’ she asked as she walked into the kitchen to find her mother with a recipe book balanced on a table-top easel and pans everywhere. ‘I thought we were going over to the pub tonight?’
Maureen frowned as she blinked. ‘Did we arrange that?’ she asked, seeming perplexed.
‘This morning,’ Andee reminded her. ‘You said you were going to book a table . . .’ Noticing that the memory lapse was starting to bother her mother, she quickly said, ‘Listen, it doesn’t matter. I probably just assumed I’d suggested it, and ended up forgetting. It’ll be lovely to eat at home. What have we got?’
Maureen looked at her cooking as she said, ‘Stroganoff. Martin’s always been keen on it, and Carol’s bringing one of her lovely vanilla cheesecakes.’
It was Andee’s turn to blink. ‘I didn’t realise they were coming this evening,’ she said, not thrilled by the idea of spending any time with Martin right now. ‘What time are we expecting them?’
Still seeming slightly worried, Maureen glanced at the clock. ‘In about ten minutes,’ she replied, making it sound more like a question. ‘I haven’t got the day wrong, have I?’
Sounding more impatient than she intended, Andee said, ‘I don’t know, because I wasn’t there when you made the arrangement. I’m sure you haven’t.’
Maureen pulled a face. ‘You’d better give Carol a call to check. My memory’s definitely not what it used to be.’
‘Hey Mum,’ Alayna chirped, bouncing into the kitchen and treating Andee to a hug and kiss. ‘Grandma, Dad just rang to say he and Grandma Carol are on their way. He hopes they won’t be too early.’
‘I hope you told him that any time is fine,’ Maureen responded.
‘Something like that. OMG, Grandma, this is like amazing,’ Alayna gushed, as she helped herself to a taste of the fillet steak. ‘Is it a Jamie Oliver?’
‘Yes, it is,’ Maureen replied, seeming pleased Alayna would know that, in spite of the book being right in front of them. ‘Your dad told me about it. He said it’s very good, so I thought I’d give it a go.’
‘Try it, Mum,’ Alayna insisted, bringing a sliver of meat to Andee.
Feeling all her tastebuds zing as she tasted it, Andee murmured a note of ecstasy, not having realised until then just how hungry she was.
‘Is Luke home?’ she asked Alayna.
Shaking her head as she picked at the sauce again, Alayna said, ‘I don’t think so. Did he come in, Grandma?’
‘I haven’t see him,’ Maureen replied. ‘I hope he’ll be back in time for dinner.’
‘Oh God,’ Alayna gasped, spinning round. ‘You don’t think Dad’s bringing Brigitte, do you?’ Her eyes went from Maureen’s to Andee’s.
‘Did he say he was?’ Andee asked her mother.
‘Not that I recall. No, I’m sure he isn’t. It wouldn’t be right to bring her here, would it?’
‘It’s not right that she’s here at all,’ Alayna put in.
‘No, he wouldn’t do that to us, or to her,’ Andee declared confidently. ‘Now will one of you please tell me when you last spoke to Luke.’
Alayna’s shoulders went up as she thought. ‘I think it must have been Friday.’
Feeling a dark beat of alarm, Andee said, ‘Try ringing him now,’ and she turned to her mother. ‘Did you see him or speak to him yesterday?’ she demanded.
Maureen’s eyes were wide as she shook her head. ‘I’m sure he’s still at Jake’s,’ she murmured.
Andee was already dialling Jake’s number.
‘I’ve just got his voicemail,’ Alayna announced.
‘Hey Mrs Stone,’ Jake drawled down the line, ‘how are you?’
Not bothering to remind him she was a Lawrence, not a Stone, Andee asked, ‘Is Luke with you?’
‘No, I’ve only just got back from London, but I’ll tell him you’re looking for him if he calls.’
London? ‘Jake, when did y
ou go to London?’
‘Friday. Why? Is there a problem?’
‘I’m not sure, I’ll get back to you,’ and clicking off the line she tried three more of Luke’s friends, only to be told that Luke wasn’t with them either, nor had any of them seen him since Friday.
Andee was trying very hard to stay calm. Her son had been gone for two days and she was only just noticing. What the hell kind of parent was she? What in God’s name could have happened to him?
‘It’s not like him to go off without saying anything,’ Alayna mumbled worriedly.
It hadn’t been like Penny either, at first, or Sophie, as far as Andee could tell.
There’s no comparison, she told herself forcefully. Luke’s a boy, a young man, who’s in a funk, not a depression, and he knows how to take care of himself.
Connecting to his number, she spoke fiercely to his voicemail. ‘Luke, you are to ring me the instant you get this. You know very well the kind of case I’m working on at the moment, so you’ll understand why it’s important to me that you make contact. I need to know you’re all right.’
Seeing how alarmed her mother and Alayna looked after this outburst, she tried lightening her tone as she said, ‘He needs to learn that it’s not OK to disappear without saying anything. It’s inconsiderate, and causes people to worry when they might have better things to do.’
‘That’ll be Dad,’ Alayna cried, starting down the hall as someone knocked at the front door.
Maureen was still staring at Andee.
‘I’m sure he’s fine,’ Andee said, wishing she believed it. ‘He’s probably trying to punish me, or his father . . . Actually, I don’t know what he’s trying to do . . .’ She felt sick with fear, unable to think past it.
Luke, her precious boy, her baby!
She hadn’t been paying attention.
‘What’s going on?’ Martin demanded as he and Carol came into the kitchen. ‘How can you not have spoken to him since Friday?’
Thanks, Alayna. ‘I assumed someone else had,’ Andee shot back. ‘He’s seventeen, for God’s sake . . .’
‘I know how old he is, and I also know he’s not in a great frame of mind.’ He was dialling Luke’s number. ‘Son, I need to hear from you. Pull it together now and get in touch.’
‘Dad, I’m scared,’ Alayna wailed. ‘You don’t think something’s happened to him, do you?’
Seeing clifftops, jagged rocks, lonely figures on empty skylines, Andee dropped her head in her hands. ‘No, of course it hasn’t,’ she cried. She had to control her imagination. ‘He’s probably with a friend we don’t know and his phone’s run out of battery.’
‘Still, he should find a way to get in touch to let us know where he is,’ Carol declared, her papery-soft complexion seeming starkly white in contrast to her inky-black hair.
‘Have you checked in his room?’ Martin demanded.
‘Of course,’ Andee replied, realising that actually no one had.
Instantly on the case, Alayna flew up the stairs. ‘He’s not here,’ she shouted from the landing. ‘Oh Mum, what are we going to do?’ she cried, running back down again.
‘Sit down,’ Carol told Maureen, whose colour had completely vanished. ‘It’s going to be all right. We’ll find him.’
Acutely aware of what this was doing to her mother, Andee said tersely, ‘I’m so angry with him. He knows better than to do this to us.’ He wouldn’t do it purposely. He wasn’t insensitive that way. ‘Where are you going?’ she asked Martin, as he headed for the back door.
‘I’ll be just a moment,’ he told her.
As she watched him run down the garden, seeming oblivious to the sudden downpour of rain, she was aware of Alayna coming to stand with her.
‘Why’s he going into the shed?’ Alayna wanted to know. ‘Luke won’t be in there.’
Bewildered, angry, terrified, but thankful Martin was there, Andee simply watched, praying that he was going to come back with something helpful.
‘He’s taken his camping gear,’ Martin announced, stamping his feet on the mat as he returned.
More alarmed by that than comforted, Andee cried, ‘That still doesn’t tell us where he is.’
‘But it gives me a fairly good idea,’ Martin informed her. ‘You guys go ahead and eat. I’ll call when I’ve found him.’
Go ahead and eat! Was he crazy? ‘I’m coming with you,’ Andee declared, reaching for her bag.
‘No, you stay put. He’ll be on Exmoor. I think I probably know where, and if I’m right we have this pact, no girls allowed.’
Andee started to protest, ran after him down the hall, but he was driving off before she could reach the car, leaving her panicked and furious and wishing she knew how the hell she was going to cope with the others.
They were looking to her for reassurance, waiting for her to tell them that Luke would be exactly where Martin expected him to be, that he hadn’t got lost on the moor, or somehow fallen into a ravine and was even now lying unconscious, unable to let anyone know where he was.
Please God don’t let history be repeating itself. He’s a good boy and we love him so much. My mother and I will never survive it.
Martin had been gone for over an hour, and though Andee had tried his number several times he still wasn’t answering. He’d be on the moor by now and all she could see, almost feel in her bones, were the endless stretches of nowhere, a vast, uncompromising landscape filled with hidden hollows and streams, gushing rivers, rocks, thickets, marshes and some of the highest cliffs in the country on the coastal edge. The wind gusted that rugged terrain like packs of demons on the prowl, while lightning storms tore the sky apart. It would be possible for Luke to walk for miles and miles without seeing another living soul, to shout and scream from the bottom of a gully never to be heard.
Her eyes closed as she tried to hear him. Tried with all her motherly instincts to connect with where he was.
Starting as her phone rang, she quickly clicked on. ‘Have you got him?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘Yes, he’s here,’ Martin told her. ‘Cold, hungry, and ready to come home.’
Unravelling with relief, she cried, ‘Where are you?’
‘Just coming off the moor, about twenty minutes away. I’d have called sooner, but I couldn’t get a signal. Here, I’ll put him on.’
‘Hey Mum,’ Luke said sheepishly. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.’
‘You must never ever go off without telling someone where you’re going,’ she responded fiercely. ‘If Dad hadn’t been around we’d never even have known where to look.’
‘I was OK, I promise. I just needed to chill for a while.’
‘On your own? In the middle of Exmoor? Luke, there have got to be safer places.’
‘I knew where I was. Dad and I have been there tons of times.’
‘Tell him,’ her mother said, ‘that there’s plenty of stroganoff. We’re keeping it warm for him.’
‘Thanks, Grandma,’ he called out, ‘I’m starving.’
Realising her mother was trembling with relief, Andee took her hand and squeezed it tight. Luke had no idea how lucky he was to have so many people who cared about him. He must learn to appreciate this, and realise that such a precious gift didn’t come without responsibilities.
By the time father and son walked in through the door, damp from their dash through the rain, and looking ridiculously pleased with themselves, Andee was ready to forgive anything as long as her son was safe in her arms.
‘You fool,’ she murmured, taking in his dirt-smeared face and malodorous clothes. ‘What on earth were you trying to prove? Didn’t it occur to you that we’d be trying to get hold of you?’
He gave an awkward shrug and glanced at his father.
‘He’s got something to tell you,’ Martin informed her, ‘but let him clean up and have a bite to eat first.’
As Luke left the room with Alayna hot on his heels, Andee’s eyes went to Martin.
‘He’s OK
,’ Martin assured her. ‘He’s been having a rough time over losing his grandad, and he’s not very happy about Brigitte being here either.’
‘I told you,’ his mother said.
‘I know you did, but what was I to do? She was trying to be supportive, and the way you lot have closed ranks against her . . .’
Carol threw out her hands in protest. ‘What does she expect? We’re a bereaved family trying to come to terms with our loss, and none of us even knew she existed before she just decided to turn up.’
‘It was poor judgement, I admit,’ he responded, ‘but you don’t have to worry, she’s leaving tomorrow . . .’
‘Oh, well now I feel rotten,’ Carol exclaimed. ‘It’s not that we don’t want her here . . . Well, actually, we don’t. In case it’s escaped your notice we’re a very close family and the mother of your children is right at the heart of it. Have you given any thought at all to what this has been like for Andee?’
‘It’s OK, I’m fine,’ Andee assured her.
‘That’s not true,’ Maureen argued. ‘It came as a terrible blow when you found out she was here . . .’
‘Mum!’
‘No, it’s high time we cleared the air around here,’ her mother insisted. ‘You know very well that you two belong together.’
Martin’s head was in his hands.
‘I thought you’d got over all your nonsense by now,’ his mother said sharply. ‘It’s been long enough. If I were Andee I wouldn’t even . . .’
‘Stop!’ Andee cut in loudly. ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but this really isn’t any of your business.’
‘Mum!’ Alayna shouted from upstairs, ‘Luke wants you.’
Thankful for the timely interruption, Andee ignored Martin’s stare, treated their mothers to a warning look and ran upstairs to sort out her son.