Behind Closed Doors
Page 30
As Andee listened, absorbing each word as though it were a balm for the grief and confusion of the past twenty years, the buried guilt and devastation that Sophie’s passing had shown her she must now start to deal with, she was holding on to Martin’s hand and remembering the memorial service her parents had held for Penny seven years after she’d gone. They’d thought, truly hoped, that it would bring some sort of closure to their suffering, but it never had.
Was her mother thinking about Penny now as she sat here saying goodbye to Sophie?
Of course, she must be, and Andee squeezed the hand Maureen had tucked into her arm.
Though Andee had feared that asking her family to attend two funerals in as many weeks would be asking too much, as it turned out not one of them had stayed away. Even Frank and Jane had made the journey from London, and Martin’s sister Hilary and her husband had also come.
In fact the quaint candlelit hall of the Memorial Woodland was full to capacity. Most of CID were somewhere near the back, while Leo, Jemma, Gould and DCI Spender were in the row behind Andee and her family. Taking up most of the pews, however, were those from the campsite who’d wanted to say their goodbyes, and sixty or more pupils from Sophie’s year at school with half a dozen teachers. Whether or not the bullies were amongst them Andee had no idea; if they were she hoped they were taking some pause to reflect, and perhaps to ask for forgiveness.
Sitting on the other side of her mother were Luke and Grandma Carol. Estelle and her mother, Marian, were at the end of the row. Alayna was with the school choir getting ready to sing.
The gentle humour and compassion Fern Gosling was injecting into the service now was turning out to be as moving as the thought of how surprised, and probably delighted, Sophie would have been if she could see how many had come to say farewell. Maybe she could. Maybe she was watching from somewhere, with her mother, feeling quietly elated by how wonderful it was to be at the centre of all this.
We planted a tree for her mother at the Memorial Woodland, Gavin had written in his letter. I’m sure Sophie would want to be with her, and perhaps she could have a Christian ceremony if you’re able to arrange it. There is a white dress of her mother’s that she always kept in her room; if it’s possible perhaps she could wear that.
If it’s not too much to ask, do you think someone might read the following poem.
If tears could build a stairway
And thoughts a memory lane
I’d walk right up to heaven
And bring you home again.
It’s much longer than that, of course, but I will leave it to you and the minister to decide how much more to include.
Thank you, DS Lawrence, for caring about her. It’s good to know she has a friend at this time.
Yours, Gavin Monroe
Gould had read Gavin’s chosen poem at the cremation two days ago, when they’d tucked the rag doll and original diary into the coffin to go along with her. The ashes were now on a candlelit table in front of the Reverend, contained in a white marble urn and next to a school photograph of Sophie.
It soon came time for Estelle’s reading, and as she walked to the lectern Andee felt for how badly she was shaking. It was so brave of her to do this, but she’d insisted.
‘I’ve written a poem for Sophie,’ she told everyone, speaking quietly into the microphone. ‘It doesn’t always rhyme properly or anything, but . . .’ She shrugged awkwardly, and looked down at the page in front of her.
‘Sophes, it’s not going to be the same without you
No more laughing at things we’re not supposed to
No more shopping for stuff we can’t afford,
Please take care of my friend dear Lord.
Sophes, when I look around at everyone’s face,
Where yours should be there’s only a space
You’re in my heart though, be assured,
Please take care of my friend dear Lord.
Sophie, when I think of all the dreams we had
And the fun we shared, it makes me glad
And I’ll always be glad that you were my best friend,
Please keep her safe, dear Lord here at the end.’
As she started to break down Marian went to bring her back to her seat, and Andee knew without turning round that, like her, the entire gathering was deeply moved by the awkward but heartfelt tribute.
‘Before we go outside to plant a tree for Sophie,’ Fern Gosling was saying as she returned to the stand, ‘the choir from Kesterly High School is going to sing a song that was chosen by Estelle. Apparently Westlife was one of Sophie’s favourite bands, and the song we’re about to hear was also one of her favourites. So it seems very fitting that we should enjoy it now and perhaps, as we’re listening, we can allow the beauty of the words and melody to help us imagine Sophie being carried to our Lord’s, and to her mother’s, side.’
There was a moment before the music teacher struck the opening chords. When she did Andee felt emotion stirring in the hall as though it were a small flock of birds preparing to take flight. Her eyes found Alayna, and her heart swelled with more feeling than she could contain. It wasn’t that she’d never been aware that anything could change at any time, and that only a fool took their blessings for granted, but being here today was reminding her of just how important it was never to forget.
Then her head went down and she thought of both Sophie and Penny as the choir began to sing ‘In the Arms of an Angel’.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
For their invaluable help with the research and crafting of this book I would like to express my sincere thanks to Carl Gadd, Martin Williams, Dr Helen Lewis, Joanna Miller in Poland, Ian Kelcey, Rev David Russell, Dr Julia Verne of the South West Public Health Observatory, and Andy Hamilton of the Bristol Coroner’s office.
Please note, should there be any discrepancies in police procedure the responsibility is entirely mine.
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Epub ISBN: 9781448183845
Version 1.0
www.randomhouse.co.uk
Published by Century 2014
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
Copyright © Susan Lewis Ltd 2014
Susan Lewis has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
First published in Great Britain in 2014 by
Century
Random House, 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road,
London SW1V 2SA
www.randomhouse.co.uk
Addresses for companies within The Random House Group Limited can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk/offices.htm
The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009
ISBN 9781780891767
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library