I religiously kept helping in the kitchen, dragging myself between my room and the mess hall. Other than that I didn’t leave my room. I holed myself up in the colorless cubicle of a room. I didn’t even visit my mother’s photo. Somehow even that was too painful for me to endure.
I headed to my room, feeling exhausted. My birthday was coming up in three days and I was running out of excuses to not have a birthday party. I didn’t feel like celebrating my birthday. The door to my room slid open and I looked with surprise at the people inside the room waiting for me.
Eric was sprawled over my bed and Arianna was perched on the side. Gaios sat on the chair next to the table and straightened when he saw me.
“What’s going on?” I asked suspiciously. It couldn’t be good if Erich and two aliens were waiting for me.
“This is an intervention,” Arianna announced and I gave Erich a death- stare. This was all his doing; I could smell it from a mile away.
“I’m not doing drugs,” I said annoyed and swatted Erich’s legs away, so that I could sit on the bed.
“Lexie, we’re worried about you.” Gaios was always the reasonable one.
“I’m fine,” I groaned. I knew I wasn’t going to like what they were going to say.
“You’re not fine,” Erich said smugly and I felt like punching him.
“Look at you! You’re as pale as a freaking ghost and you’re so thin, I swear people thinks Gaios is eating all your food,” Arianna said.
“Okay, you’re here to tell me how bad I look. I have a mirror.”
“We want to help you. We care about you. Erich isn’t your only brother in this room. You are our family too. And by the gods, I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself.” I stared in shock at Gaios. I had never heard him speak so passionately. I didn’t realize he felt like this about me. There was a lump in my throat.
“Gaios is right. You are family, like it or not. So stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
Arianna was right. I was feeling sorry for myself. The Targon mind meld had brought back so many painful memories and adding Chai to the equation, I felt like dying. I felt ashamed. I had given up hope when there was so many that cared about me. I couldn’t explain to them how broken I felt. It wasn’t just Chai, it was facing all the hate I grew up with, losing my mother, feeling so helpless to help the people around me. I needed something to make me feel whole again.
“I’m sorry,” I said and tears welled in my eyes.
“No more crying,” Erich said and gave me a kick. “Today you’re coming with us. So get changed.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’re going with us on patrol today.” Erich answered and I inhaled sharply. The idea of seeing the outside world again, to feel the sun on my skin was exhilarating. Maybe it was not a bad idea to go on patrol.
“It could be dangerous,” Gaios said as the voice of reason. “We don’t want you in any danger. We’re just going to take a look around at one of the buildings outside of Palasium. They noticed some movement of the Guard in that area earlier this week. You’re going to tag along. You’ll be careful and you won’t do anything stupid. If anything goes wrong, you’ll get out of there. Is that clear?”
“Yes sir,” I answered and giggled at the pained face he pulled at me.
Erich insisted that I wore a bulletproof vest. He gave me a gun and a knife that I had to wear on me and made me promise to stay near the group at all times. Arianna had me put on the Epsilon uniform and I had to admit I looked badass. Black suited me. I struggled to fasten the clasps of the bulletproof vest as we waited at the truck for the rest of the group. Slim fingers took the clasps from mine and Chai pulled the straps tight and fastened them. My heart fluttered. Gaios conveniently forgot to mention that Chai was coming too. I looked up and immediately realized my mistake. I looked straight into his eyes and there was so much emotion in them that I couldn’t look away. I kept staring at him and it felt like I was lost at sea and he was the only thing keeping me afloat.
“Stay close to me today, little one.” I wanted to say something, anything to bridge this gaping hole between us, but the moment was instantaneously lost when Emily’s shrill voice rang through the cavern calling his name. Of course she was going too. Chai looked extremely annoyed and muttered something under his breath, before he reluctantly strolled over to her. He said something to her and her face contorted in anger. He stalked off and Emily wandered over to me.
“He’s mine,” she hissed at me and kicked the bag I was about to pick up, under the truck.
“You can have him. I’ll l even provide the silver platter,” I retorted. She quickly moved away as Arianna appeared around the corner.
The sun shone bright in the sky and I practically hung out of the window trying to soak up every ray. Erich laughed at me and shook his head. It’s been weeks since I last saw the sun or felt the wind on my skin and I felt like laughing with pleasure. Not even Chai’s presence could damper my spirit as I watched the endless dunes we passed. I never thought I would miss seeing them every day. Chai was driving and I caught him staring at me in the rear view mirror. I quickly looked away and focused on the rays of sun dancing on my arm. There was another truck behind us and Emily was very verbal in her annoyance when Chai ushered her inside the other truck. She didn’t want to be separated from him. We were heading towards a half-finished warehouse a few miles from Palasium. I couldn’t imagine why the Guard was suddenly so interested in the building. Chai pulled the car to a stop and I couldn’t wait to get out of the truck. I sighed in pleasure and scooped up a handful of sand and let it run through my fingers. I tilted my head back and soaked up the sun on my face.
Emily gave an unladylike snort behind me, but I ignored her. Nothing could spoil this moment for me. Erich gave me a playful shove and I smiled at him. It was the first time I smiled in days and I was glad they let me come with them. Chai gave a few orders and they inspected the perimeter. There were no Guards and the building looked totally deserted. Chai and a couple of rebels went inside and when he returned he was frowning.
“They were definitely here. The place is stacked with boxes of food and other supplies.”
Erich and the others followed him inside to take a look. For the first time the sun didn’t feel so warm anymore. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something about this place wasn’t right. I knew Robert better than anyone else. He would never leave supplies out here in the middle of nowhere and unguarded on top of it. Something caught my eye and I wandered across the sand to where the sun glinted brightly of a silver object lying in the sand. I bent and picked up a knife. I turned it in my hand and squinted around me. Someone dropped it. I examined the sand around me and I saw drag marks leading towards the nearest dune. Whatever made it, had to be still around. The wind would have covered the tracks with sand by now. I turned around to look at the building, but everyone was still inside. They hadn’t notice that I wasn’t with them. For a moment I considered going back and telling them what I found, but then I thought of Emily’s smug face and I turned back to follow the tracks.
I followed the drag marks over several sand dunes when I stumbled over something sticking out of the sand. I bent and wiped the sand away with my hand from the object and then I jerked my arm away. Half buried in the sand was the body of a Palasium soldier. His throat was slit and sand stuck to the dried blood at his neck. I covered my mouth with my hand and swirled around. I could see another half-buried body sticking out of the sand a few inches away and I wanted to scream, but no sound came from my dry throat. I needed to run away, to get far away from here, but I couldn’t move. I just kept staring at the lifeless bodies of the soldier.
“What do we have here?”
I whirled and came face to face with a Scavenger. His face was wrinkled and sunburnt and his chapped lips revealed a set of rotting teeth. Long brown hair hung in oily streaks down his face and I swore I could smell him from where I stood.
“It
’s the Minister’s daughter,” he continued. I felt terrified as I noticed more Scavengers appearing from behind the dunes. It was a trap and I walked straight into it.
I pulled the gun from its holster, but the Scavenger already took a step closer and slapped it from my hand and it flew across the sand, too far for me to reach. There were at least five of them and I didn’t stand a chance, not even with the training I had. I glanced at the sand dunes. I couldn’t see the building anymore. Nobody knew where I was.
“If you let me go I can get you anything you want.” It was worth a try to negotiate with them. I noted in my peripheral vision that the others moved closer as I spoke.
“We want you, honey. There’s nice reward waiting for us.” He grinned viciously at me and I shuddered. Of course Robert had something to do with this.
“Don’t do this.” I couldn’t go back to Palasium. I couldn’t go back to Robert and the Vandelrizi.
Laughter sounded around me. “Don’t worry honey. Your father doesn’t care if you’re dead or alive. We will do you the favor and kill you first.” He looked greedily at me. “But first we are going to have some fun with you.” The others jeered in agreement.
I didn’t wait a second longer and sprinted towards the dune I came from. His body slammed into mine and I hid the sand with a thud. I spit out the sand in my mouth. The Scavenger laughed thunderously as he stood over me. I crawled into a sitting position and my hand went to the knife sheathed at my side.
“You are a pretty little thing,” he said with a snarl and he bent toward me. I could smell the stench of his breath on my face. I closed my eyes for a brief second before I slammed the blade of the knife into his chest. His eyes went wide and he looked at me in surprise as if he didn’t believe I actually had the guts to stab him. He grabbed the hilt of the knife and pulled it from his chest, blood dripping from the blade.
“You’re going to pay for that!” he growled at me and his fist connected with my jaw.
Bright spots danced in front of my eyes and I had a metallic taste in my mouth. He lunged at me and I felt the oppressing weight of his body on mine and I closed my eyes. I gagged on the stench coming from him so close to my face. I did the only thing I could think of. I thought of Chai, conjuring up his face in my mind and I sent him a message. My only hope was that we could still communicate with each other. Chai, please help me.
One moment the Scavenger was still on top of me and the next moment he was gone. I was too scared to open my eyes and I carefully peeked through my lashes. Chai was standing a couple of feet in front of me. His back was turned to me and the lifeless body of the Scavenger lay next to him. He heard me. I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. The other Scavengers were circling him, armed with knives and sharpened metal pipes. Chai stood perfectly still and waited for them to attack. When the first one came at him, he was ready and moved with deadly precision and snapped his neck.
He wasn’t alone for long. Erich came sprinting over a dune. He gave me a quick look and rushed to help Chai, shooting a Scavenger in the chest. Arianna and Gaios with the rest of the rebels appeared and I pulled myself upright. I looked straight into Emily’s face. She stood with one hand on her hip and watched the others fight the scavengers irately.
“If you want something done right, do it yourself,” she muttered and gave me a look of pure hatred.
“You had something to do with this!” I stammered. It couldn’t be true. Emily hated me, but she would never betray us like this.
“Who do you think set this whole thing up?” she asked and smiled slyly. “You were supposed to be dead by now. I guess I’ll have to do it myself.”
“Why?” I couldn’t believe she hated me this much to have me killed.
“Because Minister Miller asked me to kill you.” Her words slammed into me like a fist. She was working with Robert and the Vandelrizi. She was the informant.
“You are the one that gave him the info on the patrol. All those people died! How could you?” Emily shrugged and gave me a look as if I was an idiot.
“I’m loyal to the Vandelrizi, more than I can say of you. The first chance you got, you betrayed the New Order. All these years I had to watch you, always complaining, always sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong. Always trying to help. You had everything. The nice house…everything. And you threw it away.”
“You have a family. You have Rosa! She loves you.”
“You stole that from me too! Every day I had to listen to how brave and good you were. My mother forgot that I was her daughter. You took her from me!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I carefully stood. “Why didn’t you tell me this before? We’re best friends.”
“You were never my friend! I hate you!” She pulled a gun from the holster on her hip.
I stormed her. She saw me coming and gave me a spin kick in the stomach, sending me flying from her. She laughed bitterly and I heard a click as she cocked the gun.
“Now I’m first going to shoot your darling Chai, so you can watch him die. It’s a pity, I really liked him.” She shook her head and the brown curls bounced around her head. “Then I’m going to kill you.”
She lifted her arm and aimed the gun to where Chai had just hit a Scavenger in the face with his fist, letting him crumple to the ground. Her finger curled around the trigger. Screams escaped from my mouth as I scrambled to my feet and rushed to Chai. My feet couldn’t move fast enough and I was sure I wasn’t going to make it in time. The shot rang out at the same moment I reached Chai and shoved him out of the way with all the strength I could gather inside me. Something smashed into my chest, lifting my feet of the sand and I crashed into the sand. A second shot rang out and I prayed that I wasn’t too slow, that she didn’t shoot Chai.
“Lexie, look at me!” Chai knelt beside me and grabbed my face between the palms of his hands. I couldn’t breathe; it felt as if the vest was pressing down so hard on my chest that I was suffocating. I clawed at the clasps to get it off me. Chai took over and unclasped the latches and took it off. I took deep gulps of air.
“Emily tried to shoot you,” I stammered and tried to sit up. Chai’s strong arms circled me and pulled me against him.
“I know, little one,” he said huskily.
“No, you don’t understand. She’s got a gun!” I pushed him away. He was not listening to me.
“It’s okay, Lexie,” Erich said and I looked at his pale face. He clasped the gun in his hand so hard that his knuckles turned white. I turned my head to where Emily had stood minutes before. She lay stretched out on the sand. She wasn’t moving. My gaze wandered between her lifeless body and the gun in Erich’s hand. After I shoved Chai out of the way, I remembered hearing a second shot. Erich had shot her. My whole body shook. I clamped my fists over my mouth.
“I had to do it,” Erich said grimly.
“Take her back to the base,” Chai ordered and gave me a concerned look. “We’ll finish up here.” I didn’t argue with him. I wanted to get away from here as fast as I could. Erich helped me up and led me to the truck. I didn’t look at Emily as we passed her. I never wanted her to die, no matter what she did.
Chapter 15
Erich sloshed water over the bonnet of the truck, vigorously rubbing the brown metal with a sponge. His shoulders sagged. I had never seen him so sad. I cleared my throat.
He kept washing the truck, not looking at me.
“Erich.” His hand froze and he wiped the sheen of sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary?” he asked. His voice was lifeless.
“Bill and Sylvain fussed a bit, but let me leave.” I wished he would look at me. “Erich…you know you had no other choice.”
“Dammit Lexie! I killed her!” He threw the sponge against the rock wall of the cave. It left a wet smudge as it slid down to the floor.
“You didn’t have a choice. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.” Finally he looked at me and the pain in h
is eyes cut through me.
“You didn’t do anything,” he said and ran a wet hand through his hair.
“Precisely. I shouldn’t have gotten her involved in this. I should’ve seen it coming. I was her best friend and I let her down.” Erich closed the distance between us and pulled me to his chest.
“She made her choice, Lexie. Who knows why, but she chose the Vandelrizi.” A lump was stuck in my throat. I couldn’t understand what made her turn her back on Rosa.
“What am I going to tell her mother? She was all the family Rosa had left. How do I explain to her…?” My voice broke.
“We’ll tell her the truth. All of it. We owe it to her.” I knew he was right. But how did you tell someone their only daughter betrayed human kind?
“I’m sorry you had to shoot her.”
“Stop apologizing.” He tilted my head to look into my eyes. “You must stop blaming yourself for everything that happens.” I tried to blink away the tears. “Have you talked to Chai yet?”
“No. I haven’t seen him since we got back.”
“You should. Go talk to him.”
“I don’t think it’s a good time. He and Emily…he must be very upset.”
“Lexie, you’re in love with him.” My eyes widened. Was it that obvious?
“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me.” Erich gave a dry laugh.
“Of course he does. Go to him.”
“Since when are you pushing me towards Chai?”
“Lexie, you love him. You were prepared to take a bullet for him.” Erich pulled me closer. “I want you to be happy.” The tears were flowing down my cheeks and I pressed my face into his shirt.
“I can’t. Not after what happened. Nothing will ever be the same between us.”
“Shit.” Erich mumbled the words into my hair and I lifted my head. Chai stood in the entrance to the cave, his body rigid. He stared at us, emotion flickering over his face. I didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but from the look on his face he had heard every word I said.
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