Earlier in the day, I talked with Lexi about the football opener, the first game of the season. We’re going tonight with Casey and Autumn. I really want to go with Brent, but I already made plans with the girls. Plus, he and I have been spending a lot of time together. They’re my friends now, too, and I don’t want to be one of those girls who only has a boyfriend. So, it’s time to hang out with my friends instead of just him, starting tonight.
I say good-bye to my dad and then walk outside to wait for Lexi to arrive. The sun is just starting to set, and a late summer chill is in the air. I tried to dress appropriately in skinny jeans and a tank, but as I sit outside, I think that I should have grabbed a jacket. At five minutes after six o’clock, she pulls into my driveway in her late model Accord.
“Hey, Ruby. Cute outfit,” Lexi tells me as I sit in the front seat.
“Thanks. Let’s go.”
We head out, picking up Autumn and Casey. They both decided to opt for a jacket, and I’m jealous. Pulling into the crowded school lot, I feel somewhat anxious, considering my new friends, new boyfriend, new family, and I guess, a new me. I’ve been coming to this school for almost two years, but I can’t help looking around like I’ve never seen the place. Although I’m in familiar surroundings, I feel somewhat lost in my own skin.
“Ruby!” Lexi shouts, waving at me while walking toward the field entrance. “C’mon, I want to eat!”
I try to dissipate some of the nerves as I jog up to join them.
We buy our tickets, pass through the gate, and head straight for the concession stand. After a few minutes, we’re at the front of the line, getting ready to order. I’m at the back of our group, but I can overhear Lexi placing an order for everyone. As she turns to look in my direction, asking me what I want, her eyes focus on something over my left shoulder. Turning around to see who or what has caught her attention, I spot Owen about three feet away, walking toward Lexi. When Owen passes by me, his hand reaches for Lexi’s back as he leans down to kiss her on the cheek.
Then, I feel hands circle around my waist, causing me to jump. I turn around until I am face to face with Brent. Pulling me in close, his face gleams as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Found you,” he says. “Liam and Callum are holding seats for all of us.”
After getting our food, we head over to our seats. We sit and watch the game for a while, making small conversation here and there. Before the end of the first quarter, Lexi and I head to the restroom. As we’re rearranging our hair since a bit of wind decided to stir it in multiple directions, I see Frankie walk in with April. They take one look at us and walk back out the door. Lexi just looks at me and shrugs, so I try not to read anything into it.
“So, what’s up with you and Owen?” I ask Lexi.
“What are you talking about?”
“When did you get serious? Don’t deny that you aren’t. I’m not blind.”
She turns and looks at me, her face revealing that she’s hiding a secret. She begins fussing with her hair some more as she says, “We just clicked, I guess.”
I move closer toward her. With her twitching lips, I know there’s something she isn’t telling me. “Clicked how?”
While raising her brow, she bites her lip. “Just clicked.”
I step closer, examining her face in the mirror. “Did you sleep with him?” I whisper.
When her cheeks tinge pink, I have my answer.
“Shhh,” she says, pulling me by my forearm into an empty stall. “It just happened.”
“How does it just happen? You just started seeing each other.”
She rolls her eyes at me.
“Wait, this wasn’t your first time?” I ask.
“Of course, it wasn’t. It was my first time with Owen though. I really like him.”
“Yeah, but did you use protection? Are you on the pill? Are you exclusive?”
“Ruby, what is up with you? Are you like the sex police or something?” she asks, eyeing me with skepticism. Then, she whispers, “Shit, Ruby! Are you a virgin?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” I try to whisper but nearly shout instead.
“Of course, it isn’t. I just thought…well, who’s a virgin by senior year? Are you waiting for marriage or something?”
“No!” I feel like I’m being attacked a little. “It just never came up before.”
“Huh? What does that mean? It never came up? Like a guy couldn’t get it up?”
“Oh. My. God! No! You aren’t serious, right? Really? I guess I just never had the opportunity, not that I’ve been on the hunt though.”
“You‘ve never even dated someone that wanted to? I know that’s not it. There’s no way that’s it.”
“No, nothing like that. I just…well, I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve been on a few dates here and there, but nothing’s ever gotten to that point.” I nervously start chewing my nail. “Is Owen your boyfriend then?”
“I guess so. I think so.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“Have you ever thought about it with Brent?” She bites her lower lip for a moment. “‘Cause…well…I mean, he and Frankie were together for about three years. I’m pretty sure they…well, you know. So, I’m pretty sure he’s not…well, you know.”
“I figured he wasn’t. We haven’t really talked about it. I like him, but…we haven’t gotten that far.”
How did we get off the subject of her sexual escapades with Owen and onto my utter lack of experience hitting the sheets?
“Do you think you want to?” She looks at me expectantly.
“Maybe. Hell, I don’t know. How do you know?”
“I don’t know.” She chews on her lip for a minute. “What do you think you would do if it did go that far? With Brent?”
“With Brent? I’d probably bang his brains out and make him scream my name. Maybe tie him to the bed? Or use a pair of those fuzzy handcuffs? It’s the obvious answer. I’d likely video record the memory as well.”
Lexi busts up laughing. “I’m sorry, Ruby. It’s none of my business.” She then hugs me, whispering in my ear, “I’m here though if you ever want to talk about it.”
“Well, I’ll call you if I need any whips or a leather corset.”
“Stop it. I’m serious.”
“I know. Thank you,” I tell her with deep sincerity.
With that, we leave the restroom and head back to the bleachers. Lexi leads the way as we climb the steps to our friends. Staring at her feet, I’m lost in thought about the idea of being naked with Brent, and it gives me chills. When we reach our row in the grandstand, Lexi comes to a halt. Running into her, I glance up to see the look on her face is not good.
Tentatively, I follow her gaze and notice Frankie and April are now sitting with our group. Frankie, of course, is seated right next to Brent.
I don’t think it should bother me too much, but the proximity of Frankie’s body to Brent’s leaves me feeling threatened and angry. With Brent’s back facing us, I watch as he talks to his ex. They seem to be having an intimate conversation. She leans in to whisper in his ear, the same ear I was whispering in just yesterday. The sight leaves me motionless as all of my insecurities start rushing in.
“Ruby?” Lexi questions as she touches my arm.
Jostling me from my downward spiral of insecurity, I pull my gaze away from the horror in front of me, looking toward Lexi.
She says, “Let’s go to our seats. I promise we can leave if this goes bad.”
I just close my eyes and swallow.
When we walk down the row toward everyone, my eyes zero in on Brent’s back. He hasn’t done anything wrong, but I feel like I should fight Frankie for him, like I need to unsheathe my claws for a territorial battle.
As we approach, Frankie skims her eyes in our direction, and then she leans in closer to Brent, putting her arm over his shoulder. My blood drains from my hairline to my toes as she marks him as her territory. When her skin makes contact
with his shoulder, Brent turns toward us, causing her arm to drop off of him. He looks pissed.
“Hey, Ruby, you wanna go?” he asks.
I glance in Frankie’s direction as she straightens, sweeping a hand through her hair.
Lexi offers me a sad smile with no answers, but her eyes are telling me a silent good luck.
“Yeah, sure,” I say to Brent as he rises.
Giving a general good-bye wave to our party, I walk out to the aisle, sensing Brent behind me as I descend the stairs.
As I reach the bottom of the bleachers, I can feel the tension is thick between us. Part of me wants to touch him to relieve the anxiety, and another part of me is raging mad at what just happened. I feel dazed and ill. Then there is another part that thinks I may be a fool.
“C’mon,” Brent says blankly.
He grabs my hand, leading me to his car. Wordlessly, we walk together across the lot. When we get to his car, he opens the door for me before he gets in as well. We both stare out the front windshield without saying a word. Something’s on his mind, but I don’t know what to say or what to ask. It’s obvious that whatever he’s thinking about is related to Frankie. The very thought of her makes my skin crawl. Now, I’m getting pissed.
Brent takes in a deep breath, closing his eyes. Turning over the ignition, he looks at me briefly. “You up for a little ride?”
“Sure.” What else can I say?
I settle into the seat, internally shaking, as we pull out of the parking lot. I feel pissed, threatened, and confused. Most of all, I feel scared. I’m scared that his lack of emotion means the we that I’ve become accustomed to might quickly turn into a me.
Thirteen
Driving away in absolute silence, we head down the dark and familiar roads toward the lake. I should have known where we are going since he wants to talk. If something were on my mind, I would go there, too. It’s my place of solace, and I get the feeling it’s his as well.
I think we must be heading to the boat club, but then we pass the entrance and go farther down the road. I’m feeling even more nervous. Where’s he taking me? Looking over at him, I notice the tense features on his face, but he seems unaffected by my gaze. Finally, we pull down a dirt road that I’ve never been on before. It extends almost to the lake itself.
Brent stops the car and puts it into park at the end of the dirt path as he blankly stares across the dark inky lake.
The silence is killing me, so I try to start a conversation with a neutral topic.
“Where are we?” I ask.
He closes his eyes and then leans back. Opening them, he stares at the steering wheel. “My parents own this property. They’ve wanted to put a dock here for years, but they never got around to it. They’re actually thinking about selling it since I’ll be out of the house soon.” Raising his eyebrows, he glances in my direction.
“Oh,” I offer weakly.
As he doesn’t seem to want to talk about this either, I fidget with my hands in my lap while staring at the glove box.
“Hey,” he says, clasping a hand in my lap. “Are you okay?”
Um, hello? No, obviously.
“No,” I say, looking up to his face, which has softened considerably. “So, what’s going on? I mean, you haven’t said a word until just now.”
He takes in a huge gulp of air and then slowly blows it out. While running his free hand through his hair, he sadly smiles at me. “You don’t really want to talk about this, do you?”
Shit. What the hell is going on?
“What do you mean by this? Us?”
“I mean, what you saw with Frankie.”
Well, hell.
“I don’t know. Should I? Am I missing something? You’re acting really weird.”
“I don’t think we should talk about it,” he says, sounding resolved.
I don’t like this. My inner alarm bells are ringing loudly, clanging away the message that he’s hiding something. It’s likely some secret that he’s keeping for his own interest. I think the secret is related to the pretty redhead I saw him sitting with at the game.
Screw this. I’m not opening my heart just to get it dragged through the mud while he figures out whether or not he’s getting back together with Frankie. Wait. Am I a fool? Are they already back together?
I pull my hand from his grasp and get out of the car. I start to head back up the path toward to the road. The air has turned chilly, causing goose bumps to take over my body, but with a good two-mile walk ahead of me, I’m sure I can warm up along the way. I hear a door close before Brent runs up behind me.
“Where are you going?” he asks from just behind my shoulder.
Speed walking forward, I huff with finality, “Home.”
“What? Wait. Crap. Ruby.”
He runs up in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. I scoot around him. I’m on a mission to get away from this—another wannabe relationship based on false hopes and secrets. I’m all too familiar with those.
Quickening my pace to a jog, I can hear his footsteps catching up behind me. As I’m about to turn around to tell him to leave me alone, his strong arms wrap around me across my chest, immobilizing my flight.
“Brent, let me go,” I tell him, heaving through clenched teeth.
“I can’t,” he whispers in my ear.
I struggle in his embrace.
“It’s too late for that. Maybe I could have let you go before, but not now,” he admits.
I close my eyes, trying to process what he’s saying, while his moist breath floats across the sensitive skin behind my ear. I lean back into his familiar chest, allowing him to hold me tighter. I’m savoring the security even though I fear it’s false.
“Brent.” I wiggle a little, loosening his grip. “You aren’t making any sense right now.”
“Let me talk. I didn’t want to talk about Frankie because I thought it would upset you. I—”
“Upset me? What about you? You won’t even talk to me about it. You’re some kind of mute all of sudden, like you’re hiding a secret from me.”
“I know.” He turns me in his arms to face him. “I know. I’m not doing this right. You’re cold. Can we go back to the car to talk? Just talk?”
I can see he’s not angry. He’s something else, but I can’t tell what it is exactly. I might have overreacted, so I try to calm down as we walk back to the car.
After we settle into the seats, Brent starts the engine and turns on the heat. He then reaches into the backseat and pulls a jacket over the center console.
“Here,” he says, handing me his jacket.
I put it on, swimming in it, of course. I breathe in deeply, loving the way it smells. “Thanks.”
His eyes don’t leave mine. “Sure.”
I’m so pissed and confused. This ex thing is not settling well, and I think we need to get it all out, right here and now. I don’t want to play games. I want to trust him, but I can’t when there’s something he’s not telling me. I can’t just let it go and ignore what’s obviously coming between us.
“Why don’t you just tell me what’s up with Frankie?” I ask, raising my brows. I’m fully prepared for a punch in the gut.
“Nothing. Believe me, it’s nothing.”
“Brent, I’m not accusing you of anything. Really, I’m not. I just don’t understand why you’re acting this way. Why are you not talking to me? It’s obviously a secret or something.”
“She heard about us and wanted to talk to me about it,” he says, rubbing his hand across his face. “She’s…I don’t know. She’s not happy, I guess.”
“Oh…so, um, does she miss you?” I ask, directing my question to my lap.
“I guess so.”
“Do you miss her?” Why am I torturing myself like this?
“I’m pissed at her. She’s acting like she gives a shit, like she gives a shit now!”
“I don’t understand. Does she want you back?”
“I don’t know.”
Long-ass
pause as I sit here, feeling like a fool.
“Maybe,” he whispers.
My confidence is dwindling. Not knowing what to say, I stare out the window. She likely wants to get back together with him, and I wonder if he’s thinking about how to deal with me. I’m not Frankie. Not even close. I should have known better than to fall for all his blatant charms.
“Ruby, can you please look at me?”
Sucking in a big breath, I brace myself to look at the boy who has stolen my heart without his knowledge, knowing he is about to break it. Through the dim light, I look into his beautiful green-gray eyes.
Brent explains, “Frankie and I dated for years. We started dating in middle school. Our families are close, I guess. We practically grew up together. She’s always around, and she’ll probably always be in some way. Of course—”
“It’s okay. I understand,” I say, feeling a tear run down my right cheek. I quickly rub away the wetness with the heel of my hand. Traitor tear. I close my eyes and lick my lips before I reveal what I fear. “You want to get back together with her.”
I turn to look out the windshield, staring across the glassy lake where the moon shimmers along the dark surface. “Can you take me home now?” I ask.
He lets out an exasperated sigh, laying his head on the steering wheel. “Damn it. This is why I didn’t want to talk about her. I knew you’d get upset. There’s no way to explain it.”
In my peripheral vision, I see him straighten, turning to look at me dead-on.
He says, “It’s not what you think. It’s not what anyone thinks.”
Shaking his head, he mutters something under his breath that I can’t make out.
“What?” I question, looking at him through my glassy eyes.
These Days Series: After Tuesday | Forgotten Yesterday | Deciding Tomorrow Page 11