by Kit Morgan
He looked pensive. “I’ve seen my fair share.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “You’re in a questioning mood tonight.”
“I told you I was curious.” She took on a wide grin. “And you are my husband, after all. Don’t I have a right to know about you?”
He closed his eyes in resignation and chuckled. “You’re resorting to that, are you?”
Touché, she thought. “Why not? It’s true.”
“‘In name only’ doesn’t mean you get to find out everything about me,” he stated.
“I don’t mind if you find out all about me.”
“Is that so?” he said with a sly smile. “Hmmm, maybe I should ask you a thing or two.”
She giggled again and bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing. “Go ahead.”
“All right.” He put his hands on his knees. “How many hours’ sleep do you need?”
“What? Why are you …”
“Just answer the question.”
She shook her head. “I really don’t know. Six, eight?”
“Good. Then we best turn in if you want to get enough sleep before sunup.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Sure it is. I found out something useful about you, and now I get to see it in action.”
Her mouth dropped open and she laughed. “You tricked me!”
“It was an honest question, Emma,” he said as his eyes darted to her mouth. She’d seen him do that before, and wondered if he wanted to kiss her. But why would he?
“I suppose that’s fair,” she said, her eyes drifting to his lips. Her mouth suddenly went dry and she realized she’d leaned toward him a few inches. And he leaned back just as much. How embarrassing. He probably thought she wanted to kiss him! Of course, he’d be right …
He swallowed hard. She liked the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “It’s time to turn in, Emma,” he rasped. “Go to bed.”
She nodded, but couldn’t manage to get up and go to her bedroll. She glanced at it and realized how close it was to his. They’d been sleeping about six feet apart before – but then, they’d been in much friendlier terrain. Maybe he thought she’d be safer with him closer by.
“Emma?”
She jumped and almost fell off the log. “What?”
“Go to bed.” It was not a request.
She nodded vigorously, got up and hurried to her bedroll. He rose too, but headed for the surrounding trees. “Where are you going?”
“To take a look around.”
“In the dark?”
He glanced at the half-moon. “I can see well enough. Get some sleep.”
“But … but …”
“But what?”
“I can’t go to sleep without you here.” Good grief, what was she saying?
He straightened, a slight smile on his face. “Oh?”
“I mean … what if a wild animal comes?”
“Then shoot it.”
“What? Me?!”
He pulled his pistol out of its holster and held it out to her.
“No, no, you keep it – I’ll be fine.”
“Suit yourself.” He re-holstered the weapon. “I’ll be back.” He turned and strode into the darkness.
Emma was now alone with more than just thoughts of wild animals, but her ever-growing feelings for Lucius Judrow. “Oh, Emma … what are you doing?”
Lucius stomped into the woods, not caring how much noise he made. Besides, it would comfort Emma if she knew where he was. But he couldn’t stay too close to camp lest temptation get the better of him.
It was all he could do not pull her into his arms and kiss her. From now on he’d make sure she slept on one side of the campfire and he on the other. It was the only way to keep her safe. He’d agreed to this plan of Mrs. White’s to save her reputation. What would the Whites do when they found out he was the one that had destroyed it, married or no?
He growled in frustration and headed for the stream they’d filled their canteens at before it got dark. He should be able to find it again without a problem. Maybe he should toss himself in when he got there – at least that would cool off his … he shuddered to think about it. But think about it he did.
Tarnation, how could he have let this happen? He didn’t think he was capable of feeling so strongly about a woman – it was one of the reasons he’d let Mrs. White talk him into this in the first place. Come to think of it, he was surprised she’d come up with the idea, considering her strong morals. How on earth had she – or he, for that matter – thought this would work?
He growled in frustration as he continued toward the water. Married or not, he was still in the middle of nowhere alone with this woman, not even halfway through their journey, and he was so wound up he could barely think straight – not because he wanted to bed his charge, but because he was working so hard not to. He felt oddly protective toward her, more so than any other woman whose company he’d shared.
He’d found himself doing little things for her the last few days - not just the usual gentlemanly things like filling her canteen for her, but stuff like making sure she had the best spot to sleep, or giving her a little extra time to see to her business in the mornings before they left. Heck, he even let her have the last cookie! That, more than anything else, said a lot.
He reached the stream, sat on the grassy bank and took his boots and socks off. He plunged his feet into the icy water and shivered. Maybe he should ease the rest of himself in. Another shiver went up his spine at the thought. Having to take on Walt Mattson and his gang would be less trouble than this one slip of a girl. Especially when every time he looked at her, his brain went to mush.
They had a lot of miles between here and Cutter’s Creek. He’d have to distract himself from her the rest of their journey or he’d be in a heap of trouble. Jack Carlson might be blind, but he wasn’t a man one could easily cross either. He wanted this assignment to go smoothly. Having his heart involved would only complicate things. Besides, Emma didn’t look at him the same way he was looking at her.
Until tonight, that is.
“Mrs. White, what have you done?” Lucius had the feeling the woman had something else in mind when she came up with this crazy idea. He’d heard of this sort of thing before – people got married for convenience all the time, especially since the war. Women needed to survive, and as long as a man was half-decent morally and could provide, he had himself a wife.
But Emma wasn’t like that. She had spirit and was full of life. She wasn’t one to settle for just any man – she could pick and choose whom she wanted. She was … special.
Lucius yanked his feet out of the water, stood and stripped off his clothes. Best jump in now or he’d have a harder time later. Besides, given the life he’d led, he was the last sort of man Emma Carlson would want to marry. With any luck, the icy water would cool his passion – and wash it away.
13
Five days later …
He hated her. There was no other explanation. Why else wouldn’t he utter more than two words at a time to her? Not that he was impolite – the words could be pleasant, like “good morning” or “here’s breakfast,” or instructions such as “wait here” or “mount up.” But that was all – no conversation. And whenever she tried to start one, his only answer was a curt shake of his head.
And clearly he was trying to get them to their destination as quickly as possible – they were probably out of Idaho and into Montana by now. What was the hurry? The weather was fine, the trek peaceful, but apparently he didn’t like the company. For the life of her, Emma couldn’t figure out what she’d done to upset him. He’d been so playful just a few days before. What had changed?
She studied his back as they rode. He seemed to be on the alert, his back straight as he kept a wary eye on their surroundings. Maybe he wasn’t telling her something. Maybe, just maybe, there were outlaws in these parts, or bears or some other wild animal that
thought they were, as he put it, “good eating.”
She shuddered at the thought and glanced nervously at their surroundings. The trees and brush were thick, the trail they were on barely noticeable. Come to think of it, why were they traveling through the middle of nowhere? Surely there were decent roads that led to Cutter’s Creek? “Mr. Judrow?”
No answer.
“Lucius?”
He stopped his horse but didn’t turn around.
She brought Pearl to a stop directly behind him. “Why are we here?”
He stiffened. “What sort of question is that?”
She rolled her eyes. At least it was more than two words. “What I mean is, aren’t there normal roads going to Cutter’s Creek?”
“Yes.”
She glared at his back. “Why aren’t we on one?”
He didn’t even turn in the saddle. “Shortcut.”
“Shortcut?!”
“Yes.” He gave his horse a kick and started off again.
She did the same, trying to pull alongside him, but there wasn’t space. “Are you in a hurry?”
“I have things to do.”
That stung. She’d thought he was attracted to her, that a few times he’d wanted to kiss her. Apparently not, considering he now acted like he couldn’t stand the sight of her. “When will we get there?” she asked in a small voice.
“Four or five days, with any luck.”
“With any luck,” she whispered to herself. “For whom, you or me?” His silence had plunged her into melancholy, and she didn’t like it one bit. Now he probably wouldn’t say another word the rest of the day – and it wasn’t even noon yet. She thought for a moment that two could play at this game – she’d simply ignore him as well. But she knew it wasn’t a game she was any good at. She felt lonely when he wasn’t talking to her, and the last few days had been torture.
She brought Pearl to a stop as her eyes misted with tears. Why was she having such a hard time with this? Hadn’t he annoyed her enough since they met? Didn’t she decide he wasn’t what she originally thought? Yes, she did. That is, until he started to act wonderful. She smiled. Until the cookies.
Emma’s lower lip trembled. Had she fallen in love with Lucius Judrow because of some cookies? She put a hand to her mouth as she gasped at the realization. “No,” she said with a shake of her head. No, it wasn’t the cookies. It was the whole package.
She watched him continue up the faint trail. What could she do now? She’d never been in love before. Oh, Mrs. White, where are you when I need you?
Lucius stopped his horse, listened, and turned to look at her. “Keep up,” he called. He faced front and started up the trail again.
The terse sound of his voice only fueled her angst. She was a job to him, nothing more. As soon as they got to Cutter’s Creek Jack would pay him whatever he was owed and she’d never see him again. After they got the annulment, of course. She glared at him. Maybe she’d refuse to get one – that would show him!
“Miss Carlson!”
“Coming.” Emma gave Pearl a kick to catch up. “What am I thinking?” she muttered to herself. “Not give him the annulment. Like I’d want to stay married to him!”
“What did you say?”
Emma swallowed hard. “Just talking to myself.”
“What for?”
She couldn’t pass that opening up, not when he’d handed it to her like that. “You won’t talk to me, so I’m forced to have conversations with myself.”
He still didn’t look at her, but kept moving. “Is that so?”
“Yes, that’s so! What do you expect when you’ve been so uncivil?”
Silence.
If she had a rock, she’d throw it at him. “Case in point.”
He stopped. Uh-oh.
He dismounted. Oh, dear …
He smiled slyly as he walked to her horse, looking like he was wound tighter than piano wire. Her eyes widened. “What are you doing?”
“Get off your horse,” he said evenly.
She had a sudden vision of him turning her over his knee and spanking her like she was a disobedient five-year old. “I will not.”
“I won’t tell you again.”
She gulped. “What do you want?”
“I want you to get off the horse.”
She shivered as an odd warmth stirred in her belly. “Why?”
His breathing had gone ragged. “Now.”
She studied him. His eyes were hooded, his muscles tensed, his jaw twitching. She gulped again. “What are you going to do?”
“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.” With lightning speed, he grabbed her and expertly pulled her out of the saddle and into his arms.
“Lucius!”
“Quiet.”
“Quiet! You want me to be quiet? You’re the one that won’mmp!”
He cut her off, his lips descended on hers before her feet even touched the ground. His arms held her prisoner as he pressed her against the full length of his body. The scream forming in her throat quickly turned to a moan as she realized what he was doing. He was kissing her! And oh my stars and garters, what a kiss it was!
Every thought she’d had about him as the mysterious, dark stranger rushed forward. Now that she was over the initial shock, she began kissing him back full-force. She managed to pry one arm loose and tangled her fingers in his hair, holding his face to hers.
After a minute, he set her down and pulled back a few inches. He was breathing hard, and his entire body shook with such power that it scared her a little. “Lucius?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It was … wrong.”
Her body shuddered at his words and all she could manage was, “Lucius.”
“Get back on your horse.”
“What?” she said, her voice almost nothing. “But …”
“It was wrong, Emma!”
Her lower lip trembled. And then weeks’ worth of romantic frustration exploded. “No, it wasn’t!” she shouted back.
He stopped dead, unable to do anything except let his jaw drop.
“No, it wasn’t,” she repeated more softly. But she meant it no less.
He blinked, sighed … and turned away. “Just … mount up.” He went back to his horse and swung himself up into the saddle with ease. Without waiting for her, he started up the trail again.
Emma stood there in shock. His powerful kiss had been like nothing she’d ever imagined for her first. She’d always pictured some soft little brush of his lips against hers, had fantasized it enough while staring at the back of his head. But the reality had gone far beyond her daydreams. She wanted more!
And unfortunately, he didn’t. In fact, he seemed angry about it. Egads, did all men make so little sense?!
With a huff she climbed up into the saddle and got Pearl moving. She’d hang back for a while, not wanting Lucius to see how hurt she was that her kiss had disappointed him. Why else would he be so mad? She again thought of refusing an annulment, just to make him squirm. But it was a stupid idea, born of hurt and rejection. The sooner they got to Cutter’s Creek, the sooner she could be rid of Lucius Judrow.
Emma wiped away her tears, kicked Pearl into a trot and went to catch up to her so-called husband.
“Of all the stupid, idiotic, moonstruck things you could do!” Lucius scolded himself as he trotted his horse up the trail. He’d hurt her – he could see it in her eyes. “It was just a kiss,” he told himself. But he was wrong. To her, it had been her whole world in that moment. And what had he done? Run away, that’s what. What would she think of him? “Cad,” he said. “Coward.”
He glanced over his shoulder to make sure she was still following close enough that he could protect her in case of trouble. She was, but she didn’t look happy – as if that single kiss had drained the life from her. And maybe it had. He was so angry at himself, he could barely see straight.
Guilt sunk its teeth into his gut, and he twisted in the saddle in r
esponse. He’d let his attraction to her get the best of him. He’d have to really keep his distance now. Bad enough he’d bridled his tongue this long, but when she’d started asking silly questions, when she’d started their usual game, he couldn’t stand it any longer. He’d had to have her.
I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please …
Lucius unconsciously pulled on the reins and brought his horse to a stop. Now where had that come from? He hadn’t cracked open a Bible in ages, let alone read the Song of Songs where that verse was from. It had popped into his head like the tiny flame of a match being struck. Someone must have recited it to him, but for the life of him he couldn’t think whom …
“What’s the matter?” Emma asked softly as she caught up to him.
He swallowed hard and turned to face her. “Nothing. Just giving you a chance to get closer … I mean, to catch up.”
Her eyes roved over their surroundings. “Isn’t it safe here?”
“Depends. Should be safe enough, but one never knows.”
She stared at him blankly, nodded and looked away.
She was still angry, hurt. He’d have to do something and fast before things started to fester between them. “Emma …”
“Don’t say anything. Please.”
Well, that didn’t give him much room to maneuver. He sighed. “I’m sorry.”
She kept her eyes fixed on the ground. “I know.”
That could be interpreted several ways – all of them bad. But he didn’t know what he could do about it. “We’ll ride for a few more hours, then set up camp.” He turned in the saddle, gave a low whistle, and his horse started moving again. Emma’s horse automatically followed, as he knew it would.
Just as Emma would likely have followed him down any path he’d chosen to take her – even to his bedroll if he wanted. And he wanted to, badly. But he couldn’t. He’d ruin her, take from her the one thing that would ensure she found a good husband. Some lucky sap would have her – someone respectable like a grocer, farmer or banker, who could give her a house and a home.