by Ash Masters
*
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul...
If that’s the case, then why is it that we can’t all see through them?Why is it that people can’t see other people’s true intentions? What makes them, them? Are eyes tinted? Is that the problem? In that case, people must naturally be secretive and deceptive if their our bodies are born so that others can never know who we truly are and what we truly want.
That is why when we catch a glimpse of someone’s true self it makes us feel so strongly.
Miyako walked down the school hall, bag clutched tightly against her body as she made her way out, deep in thought. Besides her students passed, some with a similar distracted look that she had yet, different all the same; a gaze that showed that they were mentally far away but in the present at the same time. The eyes of the Deprived – those who haven’t been able to feel their souls for a long time. Their faces were in pain though this display was subtle. One had to really look at their faces to see the distress.
That morning she had paid attention to the teenagers she had passed and saw that few had that far away, hypnotised look that most of the adults had but just as many didn’t, few like Kioshi, Kouji, Aki, Seito, Hido and herself. The teenagers who were Deprived must have been individuals who had lost the will to live but hadn’t decided to kill themselves. In time, perhaps we can call on others to help us. It would be nice having a family of sorts, our own world where the hands of the many join together. My own Paradise. Miyako’s pig-tails bounced on the back of her shoulders as she walked on.
But if I want to create Paradise I need to recover the Deprived’s souls. According to Miyabi, they have been transported to a world beyond our reach. Miyako paused in the now empty corridor, gently pushing her round spectacles so that they rested better on her nose.
No, a world out of others reach but not my own. But... Just what is a soul? What does it exactly mean to us? It doesn’t matter how it’s explained, it still feels odd. Before all of this started, I believed that who were had to do with what went on in our brain; the choices we make that define our character. But now... What if who we are is defined by our soul?
One thing that is true is that this world that we thought was so simple is actually more complicated – there are secrets and mysteries lost to not only this generation but those who knew the world as it was before: ‘Shibuya, Akihabara, Shinjuku and others who’s names have faded into a myth in favour of Zones.’ A hand supported her head heavy with thought. I have to save them if there is any chance of restoring this world. Kioshi doesn’t full know what he’s doing and Hido, Kouji and I now know that the world is bigger than we thought. Only I have the power to stop this – I am a Key. I’m not Human like them. Still... Miyabi’s hand slid down her face slightly and she peered through her fingers into space. What about that other world? The Nightmares’ home?
Black... Darkness. I saw it. I felt it. Is that really where the Deprived souls live? Through the eyes and in blackness? They say that they eyes are the window to the soul but if the soul isn’t a physical part of our bodies then where is it? But if the soul doesn’t physically exist then what did I feel when all of those eyes were looking into me.
It doesn’t matter... I have the power to help and so I must. You can’t try to comprehend what can’t be comprehended.
Miyako thought back to herself clutching the photo of the collective staff with looks so plain, so dead that it broke her heart and started the chain of thoughts that weighed her mind down and held her heart captive.
Darkness...
She closed her eyes and her mind brought her back to the world she was in before...
Darkness...
There Miyako was, hovering in the darkness, this new world stripping her of her identity; her clothing, her voice, her name. She was just a vessel floating in the darkness. Her skin shone like a light in the dark and her eyes were closed, head tilted back and body arched back with arms behind her. Slowly her eyes parted open but not fully.
A bubble left her lips.
Where am I? She thought. Another bubble escaped her lips. Who am I?
A pain erupted in her breast and she curled into a ball, clutching her chest in a vein attempt to hold her heart in her hand. Her thoughts then went to a documentary she watched where a surgeon had a man’s chest opened up and during the surgery he died on the table. In a desperate attempt to save him the surgeon reached into his chest, took his heart in his hand and began to pump it.
Miyako thought that someone was pulling on her heart.
Black fingers slid over her body, first one hand then another, then another, black hands extending from the darkness to claim her. Hand after hand reached for her, taking over another area of her flesh, hand holding onto hands so that they could be taken too – until Miyako’s body was overrun and their collective force so powerful that they were dragging her down.
Miyako could hear moaning; sick, demented, orgasmic moaning, moaning for her help to help bring them out of the darkness. Their moans filled her ears and then her heart and then finally her identity returned to her.
I will save all of you. Miyako thought. With all my strength I will return you to your homes! I will take you all inside my heart and carry you home!
More hands came from the darkness to hold her, grabbing her wrists, arms, torso and breasts, grabbing her head and covering her eyes so only her mouth was visible.
I can’t let you make me one of you. I can’t let you corrupt me. Who am I if I can’t help you!? Without you how can I make my Paradise!? A world filled with smiles! A world where the young don’t kill themselves! A world where everyone are friends!
Miyako’s eyes opened, returning her to reality where she was breathing heavily. Before with the door open was the staff room where she watched the teachers go about their duties so mechanically. Where is the enthusiasm? Where is the passion? I felt your feelings and know that this isn’t how you want to live! I understand your feelings but I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to return your souls. ‘Somebody tell me how!’ She screamed.
Just like before the teachers stopped what they were doing in mid-gesture, simultaneously turning to look at Miyako.
She flinched; the feeling returned; darkness all around her, hands clinging onto her groping and caressing her skin like multiple lovers. Her mouth opened but words wouldn’t leave her as many feelings clashed and conflicted: fear, desperation, longing and many others emotions including ones that felt wrong but good at the same time. What is this? Why does this feel so different? Her body wouldn’t move to her will and the sensation of hands on her body pleased her in a way she couldn’t describe; it brought warmth and made her feel pleasant and weak at the knees.
Feeling all of these hands it feels... It feels... Miyako’s eyes closed. Embrace the feeling... Find comfort in it and use it.
She began to swim, struggling under the weight of her seducers, kicking her legs back and forth as she tried to rise upwards instead of being dragged down by the mass of souls. Is there even anything up here? How do I know that by swimming I can escape with these souls? She kicked harder, bringing herself and the legion of souls further upwards in the darkness of the Nightmares’ world.
Be strong Miyako! You’re a Key – You can do this! You’re going to save these people and create Paradise! You’re a superhero! Yes! A superhero! Miyako smiled.
‘No.’ A voice spoke from somewhere in the darkness.
Miyako stopped in shock, steadily beginning to sink again into the darkness. No?
‘No. You’re just a girl. A stupid, pathetic girl.’
Stupid? Pathetic?
‘When will you realize, Miyako, that your efforts are in vein? You may save these people but there is nothing stopping Akira from taking them again. What use is your power then when you’re faced with your failure?’
I... I...
‘See, you understand now don’t you? Idiot.’ The voice laughed, a
feminine laugh.
You’re wrong! I can stop all of this! I can–!
‘You think that you can change the world?’ The voice laughed again. ‘You’ve always been like this haven’t you, Miyako? You’ve always tried to be the voice of reason that can soften conflict and bring people together and created bonds. I know this from your memories. But, you are a liar.’
N-No way...
‘Yes! Where was your kindness when Kioshi was being beaten up? Where was your friendship when your peers blamed him for your teacher’s death?’
Miyako sunk further into the darkness. I... I...
‘You’re a hypocrite, Miyako. Worse, you’re not a good girl. No matter how many souls you may fight to save, if you can’t extend your hand to those around you you will never truly have humanity. And if you don’t have humanity then you may as well kill yourself.’
Outside the staff room Miyako had fallen onto her knees. Eyes and nose bleeding from the mental strain she was forcing onto herself – so heavy and painful that it felt like a hammer being thrown continuously down on her skull but she had forgotten how to scream so she sat with lips partially agape, flickering between open and closed.
The teachers all rushed out of their seats, sprinting towards her and vault over their desks to swarm Miyako like Vultures. In moments she was overrun, pinned to the floor by her arms and legs, staring at the bright lights above her without the power to even blink.
‘Stupid girl.’ Ayumi stood amongst the crowd, staring down accusingly at her. ‘So this is what you fear. You long to help those who desperately need saving even at the cost of your own sanity.’ Ayumi chuckled as she crawled on top of Miyako, sitting on her abdomen to stare into her eyes as they bleed but didn’t blink. ‘Are you still there, Miyako?’ Ayumi chuckled mockingly again.
Miyako’s eyes bore into Ayumi who though couldn’t move could still feel her heart.
‘Argh!’ Ayumi exclaimed holding her chest but then smiled, strangling Miyako. ‘Oh no!’ She shook her head, red hair flailing around. ‘There’s no soul in this body, there’s nothing to save! It buried under pain and hatred!’ She spoke venomously. ‘You can say that it is the soul of a Ghost.’ She smiled to herself. 'Those eyes! Those eyes that glisten seductively with judgement determination – that-that tries to read me, that try to be free. I hate them! Who are you to be free huh!?’ She wrapped her hands around Miyako’s neck, digging her thumbnail into her throat to draw blood. ‘Who makes you better than me!?’
Still Miyako tried to read Ayumi.
‘You just don’t listen do you girl!’ Ayumi slammed Mikayo’s head hard onto the floor. ‘No matter... You like surgery don’t you? Tell me, have you ever played doctor?’ Ayumi smiled sinisterly, a sweet, innocent smile filled with madness. ‘What do you think will happen if I got this nice pointy object,’ from nowhere Ayumi retrieved a long, silver spike that shone in the bright light, ‘and played around with those beautiful eyes? I’m a girl of reason though, so all you have to do is blink if you don’t want me to.’
Unable to move all Miyako could do was stare up at Ayumi.
‘I’m glad that I’ve got your consent.’ Ayumi bounced up and down Miyako’s stomach for a few moments like an excited child. ‘This is going to be interesting.’