by Joy Redmond
Finally, it was over. He was so weak, he just sat on the floor for a few minutes. The smell from the pot was penetrating the room. Oh, no! I’ve gotta get this out of here. He dressed. How am I going to get back downstairs and back up to my room again? Miss Marylee will hear me for sure. He walked over to his window and looked down. It’s too far to jump. He decided he’d open the window and empty the pot. The ground would soak up the puke. The window slid up easily and he poured the vomit on the ground. Damn, the smell will still be in the room even with the pot empty. He didn’t keep a pitcher of water in a washstand like Miss Marylee did. I’ll throw the pot to the ground, climb down the trellis, then rinse the pot and try to climb back up. He was half way down the trellis when he heard a loud crack and he knew it was going to break in two. He let go and landed on the ground. He hit with a hard thud but he didn’t think he was hurt, though his head was pounding.
Slowly he stood. He took a step. Where’s that confounded pot? He backed up and fell over it. He picked himself up again. He took the pot over to the well and pumped it full of water. He swished the water around a couple times and emptied it on the ground. I gotta piss. That beer is running straight through me. He set the pot by the well.
Just as he reached for the outhouse door handle, it seemed to open on its own. He let out a yell and backed up.
Jim Bob yelled and fell back inside the outhouse.
“Shit fire! Jim Bob, you almost caused me to shit my britches.
“You almost caused me to have a heart attack. Whatcha doin’ sneakin’ around out here?”
“I wasn’t sneaking. I had to pee. I didn’t figure anybody would be out here at this time of night.”
“Do I smell liquor on yer breath, boy? I knowed when you left with them Brown boys, you was gonna be doin’ sumpin’ stupid. I done warned ya ‘bout’ em.”
“Yeah, I know. And I shouldn’t have been drinking, but I whipped the shit out of those Brown boys. Knocked them out cold!”
“You whooped them two Brown boys?”
“I whipped four of them.”
“Four?” Jim Bob yelled.
“Yep. Sure did. Do you want to hear about it?”
“Yer darn tootin’. Boy ya done made me so proud I might bust my seams. C’mon over here and we’ll sit under the old walnut tree and ya tell me the whole dang story. Don’t leave out nary a word!”
Will told Jim Bob the story and his own excitement built as he recalled the sight of them sprawled on the ground. “I had them big bad-asses out cold.”
“Well, I swanee. That be the funniest and best story I ever heered. Ya be one heckuva man! Ya done knocked the puddin’ outta them fools. I’s so proud of ya, I feel like I might cry like a sissy myself.”
“I was just defending myself. I’m not bragging. But I have to tell you, it sure feels good, and I can’t remember feeling as proud of myself as I do this minute. But this story stays between us. Well, we’ll tell Mr. Tom. He’ll get a kick out of it. Dang, my eye hurts. I banged it coming up the porch steps.” He rubbed under his eye and felt a knot. I’m going to have a shiner for sure. What am I going tell Miss Marylee?”
“Tell’er you runned into sumpin’. Ain’t no lie.”
“How are we going to get back inside, Jim Bob?”
“We gonna go through the back door like we always do.”
“I can’t sneak back upstairs. I’ll wake Miss Marylee. I was thinking about sleeping in the garden shed, but I don’t know how I’ll explain it tomorrow.”
“I’ll tell ya what. We’ll both sleep in the garden shed. We’ll put down some burlap sacks and I’ve got an old overcoat on a nail. If we get cold we’ll put it over us. C’mon. This’ll be fun. I ain’t done nothin’ like this since I was a pup. You shore knows how to keep an old man feelin’ young.”
They fixed a pallet with burlap sacks and Jim Bob did his best to stretch the overcoat over them. “It’s a bit short but I don’t think we’ll freeze. Leave that door open so’s we’ll know when the sun comes up.”
“What are we going to tell Berta? You know if she wakes up first – and she always does, she’s going to come looking for us.”
“We’ll tell ’er that we got up early to go pee and we bumped into each other at the outhouse. Then we thought it’d be a good idea to get a basket outta the shed and start pickin’ up them black walnuts ‘fore she started yellin’ at us. It won’t be a lie. Just not the whole dang truth. Be sure to grab a basket the first thing when ya wake up.”
“Jim Bob. You’re one smart man. If you wake up before I do, just shake me. I’ve gotta get some sleep. My head is hurting.”
Jim Bob laughed. “It ain’t nothin’ to what it’s gonna feel like come mornin’. But ya can’t slack off on yer chores. That’d be a dead giveaway. The first thing you do when ya wake up is crack a walnut and eat it. That’ll get the left over beer smell off yer breath. I hope.”
Just as Will shut his eyes, he felt something wet touch his arm. “Jim Bob! What the—oh, it’s you, Red. Well, snuggle up with us.”
The next morning, they stuck with the plan. All was fine.
Winter arrived with a lot of snow. Will hit the books and his studies were all that was on his mind. The Brown boys didn’t come around when he was outside playing in the snow with Red. He figured he’d proven to them that he was a man, and since he’d turned down their offer to go gang fighting, they had no use for him. Good riddance!
Spring finally arrived and Will wanted to give his brain a rest. He had gone as far as he could with the correspondence courses. When and how he would ever make it to a university, he had no idea.
May was still his favorite month. All the flowers were in bloom, the grass was a beautiful green, and the leaves were spread out like beautiful fans blowing in the breeze. He just wanted to walk and enjoy nature. He walked uptown to Woolworths, his taste buds yearning for chocolate malt. If he was lucky, he might see Becky Moore. If he could get his tongue untied, he might be able to ask her out on a date.
Red ate his biscuit, then stayed at Will’s heels as he worked. By noon, the chores were done. Will took a bath, shaved, and splashed Old Spice aftershave over his face. He’d never worn the red shirt he had gotten for his birthday the year before. Today seemed like the perfect time. He combed Brylcreem through his hair. “Just a dab’ll do ya—all the girls will pursue ya,” he sang as he made sure every hair was in place. He thought he looked handsome, smelled good, and was ready to face Becky.
When he reached Woolworths, he patted Red’s head. “You can’t come in with me. You stay right here and wait. I probably won’t be in there very long.” He walked inside. His heart quickened when he saw Becky sitting on a stool at the counter. He made his way over and took a stool next to her. “Hi, Becky. You sure look pretty today.”
“Hi, Will. You’re looking dapper yourself.”
Hot damn. She’s talking to me. She thinks I look good. Now what do I say?
Before Will could continue the conversation, Dave Sawyer walked up, hugged Becky and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he said. He nodded at Will.
Will’s heart sank. I guess that takes care of me asking her for a date. She’s all smitten with the hotshot basketball player. So be it. I think I just lost my desire for chocolate malt.
He walked back outside, shielding his eyes from the bright sun. “C’mon, Red. We’ll go to the bakery and get us a bag of do-nuts.”
Will was walking back home, eating do-nuts and wondering if there would ever be anything in life for him except his studies and the boredom of the boarding house. As they were walking past the Brown’s house, Will noticed Nellie sitting on the top step of the lopsided stoop, her head buried in her hands and hard sobs shaking her body. Poor, Nellie. She has no life either. She probably just took a licking from her Pa.
Will walked through the yard and stood in front of her. “Hi, Nellie. What’s got you bawling this morning?”
Nellie jumped as if Will had goosed her. “Oh, hi,
Will. I didn’t know anybody was around,” she said, raising her dress tail and wiping her eyes. “I just wanna die!”
Will sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. “Did your pa beat up on you?”
“Nah. I’d rather he did. A whoopin’ wouldn’t hurt as bad as the pain in my heart.”
“Who hurt your feelings? Were your brothers calling you names? I know how ugly they talk to people.”
“I don’t pay no never mind to my stupid brothers. It ain’t that.” She wiped her tears with her hands, leaving dirty streaks across her face. “Next week is prom night. No boy will ask me to go. I’m just white trash to all of ’em. I’ve listened to all the other girls talkin’ about goin’ shoppin’ fer their fancy dresses and shoes and all the stuff that goes with being purdy fer the prom. And they just can’t resist mockin’ me by sayin’ ‘who’s takin’ you to the prom?’ They know I ain’t goin’. They just like to taunt me and make me feel worse than I already do.”
“That’s just mean. That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to attend regular school. All the cliques. Everybody making fun of you if you’re different. Does a boy have to attend the school to be able to take a girl to the prom?”
“Nah. Anybody can be yer date. But like I said, no boy is interested in me. I ain’t got no fancy clothes to wear. I ain’t purdy. I’m just plain white trash.”
“Nellie, you listen to me. You’re as pretty as any girl in that school. Beauty comes from the inside. Miss Marylee taught me that a long time ago. If you want, I’ll take you to the prom. I’ll be proud to be your date.”
Nellie squealed. “You will?” Then her face seemed to wilt. “I don’t have nothin’ to wear. All I got is rags. Ah, just forget it! But thank ya for the offer.” She burst into tears again.
Will didn’t know what else to say, and crying girls really got on his nerves. “I’m sorry for you, Nellie. I really am. I hope you cheer up. I better be going on my way.”
As Will walked across the front yard, Nellie yelled, “That’s right. Go on yer way. Don’t spend no time with trashy Nellie. Ain’t nobody got no time fer me!” A rock flew past Will’s head.
“Damn, crazy girl! Red, there just isn’t any understanding women. I might as well just stay at the boarding house and argue with Berta. At least I’m used to her.”
Will walked through the back door and found Berta and Miss Marylee sitting at the table, drinking coffee. “Howdy, ladies. Who wants to yell at me today, or start bawling over something?”
Miss Marylee said, “What on earth is eating at you today, Will? Nobody is going to yell at you and nobody is bawling. Have a seat and calm down. Then tell me what’s got you all out of sorts.”
Will told them about his day.
Miss Marylee said, “I’m sorry about Becky. I know that had to be disappointing. As for Nellie, she’s got every right to be crying and mad. I’m proud of you for offering to escort her to the prom. If you’re serious about being her date for the night, then I’ll have a talk with her. I think I can help her. Women have to stick together.”
“Well, good luck. She’s crazy. All I was trying to do was comfort her and all I got in return was a rock thrown at me. I was serious when I said I’d be her escort.”
“Would you please go ask her to come have a talk with me?”
“Oh, no! One rock is enough. I’m going to start switching bedroom furniture. Berta, didn’t you say that you and Jim Bob would trade bedrooms with Mr. Tom so he’ll be downstairs and you won’t have to carry his food and other stuff up to him all the time? I need to work off my frustrations.”
“Yes, Will. Me and Jim Bob will trade bedrooms with Tom. I’m plum worn to a frazzle with running up and down those stairs every day. Poor ol’ soul. He’s about as helpless as a two-year-old. I sure would appreciate you luggin’ the furniture for me. Ya know I ain’t gonna get any work out of that confounded ol’ cuss.”
“Berta!” Will yelled, his face reddening.
“I know! I know!” Berta said, holding her hands in the air. “He’s sick and can’t help bein’ the way he is. Don’t go gettin’ all riled at me.”
Miss Marylee said, “If you two will excuse me, I think I’ll walk down and have a talk with Nellie. The walk will do me good. I’ll get my purse and be on my way.”
“Like I said, Miss Marylee. Good luck.” He looked at Berta. “Show me what you want me to move first. Let’s get this done so Red and I can go fishing.”
By 5:00 pm, Will had the bedroom furniture swapped. He couldn’t count how many times he had lugged things up and down the stairs. He was tired and hungry. He helped Mr. Tom get settled in. “I got it fixed for you the best I can. How do you like it?”
“I don’t like it. It stinks!”
“Stinks?”
“Yeah, it smells like Berta and Jim Bob. Arm pits and bacon grease. Plum sickenin’”
“I’ll open the windows, then I’ll get Miss Marylee’s oscillating fan and blow out the stink.” He walked out of the room and mumbled, “Confounded ol’ cuss!”
By the time he had Mr. Tom satisfied, he heard Miss Marylee talking to Berta. He went into the kitchen. “Well, you sure had a long talk with Nellie. You’ve been gone for hours. Did you get her calmed down?”
“I did more than that. I took her shopping. I bought her a fancy dress, shoes to match, a pair of white gloves, and a handbag. I’m going to make an appointment at the beauty parlor the day before the prom. She’s going to get a fancy hairdo. Then I’m going to order a corsage the day of the prom. You’ll have to pick it up and I’ll show you how to pin it on her dress. That girl is walking on a cloud. Now, we have to go shopping and buy you a new suit and a pair of shoes.”
Holy shit! I’ve got to take her to the prom. There’s no way out now. Miss Marylee, you just sealed my coffin. Will ran outside, feeling like he was about to take his last breath.
He looked toward the heavens. Lord, deliver me from crazy women and contrary, ornery old people. I can’t take much more. Thank you.
Chapter Thirteen
Will and Miss Marylee were walking home from church. Sweat was running in rivulets from every pore of Will’s body. “It’s sure a scorcher today. I think when I get home I’m going to open the icebox and stick my head in it like Jim Bob does.”
Miss Marylee laughed. “Well, the iceman brought a fifty-pound block yesterday, and I’m sure it hasn’t melted that much, but please don’t do that. Berta will raise cain.”
Will wiped his face with his handkerchief. “Miss Marylee. Do you know what today is?”
“It’s Sunday.”
“I know it’s Sunday, but—never mind.” I do believe her memory is getting as bad as Mr. Tom’s.
When they got back to the boarding house, Miss Marylee said, “Will, stay out on the front porch with Mr. Tom for a few minutes. I know it’s hot, but he needs a little company. He rarely gets out of his room anymore, and when he does, it would be nice for someone to spend some time with him.”
“Ah, criminently! Do I have to? I’m going to have a heat stroke. I need to get in front of a fan. Mr. Tom doesn’t have any circulation and he can stand the heat. His toes stay purple when it’s a hundred degrees, and he thinks it comfy.”
“Will, please do as I ask.”
Will sat down beside Mr. Tom. “Is it warm enough for you, old timer?”
“It’s a bit hot today. I think I need to get inside and let the fan blow on me. Gimme a hand, will ya?”
“You bet. A fan sounds good to me. Berta is going to yell at everybody for running up her electric bill, but you can bet her fat ass will be as close to a fan as she can get it.”
Mr. Tom burst out laughing. “I’ll bet on that one, too. She gets meaner by the day. Jim Bob gets deefer by the day. Miss Marylee gets sweeter by the day. If I was still a young man, I’d have her in my bedroom. Yesirree!”
“Mr. Tom, that kind of talk is disrespectful! I’m asking you kindly not to talk that way about Miss Marylee. She’
s the only mother that I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t talk about your mother in that fashion.”
“Ah, I didn’t mean no disrespect. I just like to talk out the side of my neck now and then. It makes me feel young to just dream of such things. I’m sorry.”
“Okay. Come on. We need to see what Berta’s going to yell about today.”
Mr. Tom leaned on Will’s arm and they went through the front door.
“Tell him to come on in and get it done. We’ve got all the heat in here we need!” Berta said.
Will and Mr. Tom walked into the dining room just as Berta finished her sentence. Will grinned from ear to ear. In the middle of the table was a cake. He and Mr. Tom made their way to the table and Will pulled out a chair for his old friend.
He eyed the cake, again. It came from the bakery, I’m sure. The cake had fancy decorations around the edges and Happy Birthday Will was written in the center. Lighted candles were around the scalloped icing edges.
Miss Marylee said, “You thought I forgot, didn’t you? I wasn’t about to give away the surprise when you asked me what day it was. I gotcha, my big hunk of man! Today is also the tenth anniversary of you being a boarder at BERTA’S BOARDING HOUSE. It’s a double celebration. I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed. Eighteen-years-old!”
“Blow them blasted candles out. They’re heatin’ up the room. I had to turn the fan off so I could keep ‘em lit,” Berta said.
Will blew out the candles. He looked around for a present, but none was on the table.
“I’ll go get some plates and forks,” Berta said. “Today’s Sunday, you know I don’t cook. Everybody find what ya can. Of course, with my new gas stove it wouldn’t be that hard, but I need a day of rest.”
“We know the drill, Berta! We always fend for ourselves on Sunday. Then everybody sleeps all afternoon. And that’s the only time you’re not griping about something!” Will said.
“That boy is gettin’ too big for his britches, Miss Marylee. You need to take him down a notch or two. Always sassin’.” She shot Will a hard look. “Just ‘cause you ain’t no little boy anymore—”