Broken & Burned

by A. J. Downey

  “Okay.” I said carefully and the mask simply snapped back into place. Reaver was all smiles again and quipped,

  “Glad you understand!” he shut the door to Dray’s Trans Am firmly and jogged around the front. He got in and fired it up. I didn’t know what to say to him so I stayed silent for the entire trip home. He pulled the Trans Am into the driveway and killed the engine when we got to the house. He handed me the keys.

  “Don’t know which one gets us in the house.” He said and smoothed his hair down out of what looked like habit. I selected the correct one and he smiled.

  “Excellent!” he got out and I did too, heels clacking against the cement as I went up the steps. I pulled my phone out of my sweater pocket and gripped it tightly. Reaver opened the front door and I went in, he followed and went for the fridge.

  “If I gotta sit bitch with Trigger for a ride back to the club I’m gonna drink Dray’s beer.” He declared. I shrugged. “You do whatever it is you do. It’s your home now for all intents and purposes.” He said rooting around looking through bottles. I went into Dray’s room and slipped off the heels. I changed into my pajamas and went into the bathroom to wash my face. I patted it dry and got my phone off the bed and went over, firing up my laptop. Reaver flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, he flipped through channels and finally landed on MTV and Ridiculousness. I chewed my lip as I waited for it to finish starting up then sat staring at my desktop. I didn’t know what to do. My leg bounced under the dining room table and I gusted out a sigh. I was too keyed up and too damned tipsy to do homework. I shut the laptop down.

  I knew what I needed to do, I needed to blow off steam. I went into the bedroom and changed into tights and a leotard. I tied on a light chiffon short skirt in gray and pulled on my hard shoes. Reaver was cracking up in the living room over whatever was on television. This wasn’t going to be good for the shoes, but whatever.

  I snatched my phone off the table and went carefully across the kitchen floor. I clattered down the steps and put on some music from my phone. It wasn’t real loud but it was enough. I set my phone on the railing and went over to the patch of driveway in front of the garage. I hadn’t needed to do this since I was a kid. Whenever my da’ and me got into a fight I would go out to our drive and dance until I fell down.

  I listened to the measures and stood ready and let everything I was feeling flow from the crown of my head down and out through my feet. Fast, fast, fast and faster I tapped, until my muscles burned with weariness. I almost missed it when the music cut and a ringtone took over. I dashed for the phone and answered the unfamiliar number.

  “Dray?” I asked, secretly hoping that I was the more important person he was saving his phone call for.

  “Hey Em, how you doing?” he asked and I could hear the smile in his voice. Reaver and Trigger were sitting on the top step watching me. I blinked. When had he gotten here? I turned my back on them for some semblance of privacy.

  “Look at you all badass.” I said smiling, “You’re the one in jail and you’re asking how I’m doing?” I said a bit breathlessly.

  “Why are you out of breath?” he asked alarmed.

  “Dancing in the driveway. Got my hard shoes on. Pounding out some frustration.” I said. A towel flopped over my shoulder and I startled. It was cool bordering on cold out here and I was sweating pretty hard. I turned and Trigger smiled down at me. I smiled and patted my face and chest.

  “Reaver and Trig there?” he asked.

  “Yeah. You want to talk to them?” I asked.

  “No I want to talk to you. I just wanted to make sure they’re treating you all right.” he said.

  “Yeah no, they’re being great.” I heard a chuckle behind me and my shoes made loud metallic clacks as I took some paces forward.

  “So I’ll probably get out Monday. Maybe Tuesday, can I trust you to take care of Sadie?” he asked me, “I want you to be able to get to work and school and pick up your results if you get me.” He said.

  “I get you.” I said softly.

  “Never been kissed like that.” He grunted.

  “Me either.” I said softly.

  “I’m nobody’s rebound.” He said and I bit my lip nervously.

  “I don’t do rebounds,” I said, “I’m a good Irish Catholic girl.” He snorted and laughed into the phone.

  “What!? I am!” I said and I was smiling broadly.

  “Okay Em. Look I gotta go, hang tight, stay safe and I’ll see you when I see you.” He said.

  “Is it wrong that I’m picturing you in one of those awful orange jumpsuits and I think it’s kind of hot?” I asked. He laughed.

  “It’s not a good look for anybody, I don’t care what you say.” He said.

  “Dray?” I said after a moment of silence.

  “Yeah Em?”

  “Be careful?” I said and couldn’t keep the anxiety from tinging my voice if I wanted to.

  “Always.” He promised.

  “K, bye for now.” I whispered.

  “Bye Babe.” The line went dead and I ended the call, the music picking up right where it left of, drifting out of the small speakers of the phone in my hand. I sucked in a strong, slow, steady breath.

  “He’ll be okay.” Trigger said quietly, I turned around and tapped the screen to shut off the music.

  “When did you get here?” I asked.

  “About twenty minutes ago. You were tearing it up.” He said it like he was impressed and sucked on the end of an e-cigarette, the end glowing blue in the darkness.

  “Trying to work off some aggression.” I stated simply. Reaver snorted. He was turning a knife over and over in his long slender fingers and I felt a shiver go down my spine.

  “Cold?” Trigger asked, eyeing me.

  “No.” I said simply and I pointed at Reaver, “He’s scary.” I opted for the truth. It had never served me wrong before. Reaver looked at me as if I had done something interesting. “I had an ‘uncle’ like you growing up.” I put the uncle in air quotes. “He killed for the IRA, except he couldn’t turn the cold and creepy off. He just was what he was and made no apologies for it. You,” I shook my head and looked at him plainly. “You can hide it. He was scary but you two, you two are terrifying because you can blend in so well.” I wiped more sweat off the back of my neck. Reaver’s smile was gone, and he looked at me with a predator’s assessing gaze. Trigger was looking at me like I was an interesting specimen.

  “Guessing by the nickname you’re some kind gun fanatic.” My voice slid into the brogue of my people. He nodded slowly.

  “United States Marine Corps sniper.” He said. I nodded, I didn’t want to press either of them any further.

  “You don’t have a problem with it.” Reaver stated. I shook my head.

  “I grew up at the knee of men like you.” I said, “Good men who fought for what they believed in. I just thought you should know that I know. I’m not judging, I’m not scared, at most I am unnerved a little, but that’s healthy. I just thought you’d like to know you don’t have to hide from me. I won’t pretend to understand it but it’s the way I grew up, and I’ve seen a thing or two in my time.” Trigger and Reaver exchanged looks again, Reaver smiled, then Trigger did too.

  “No hiding from you is there?” Reaver asked. I shrugged.

  “Shit, Dray has his hands full.” Trigger laughed. Of the two of them he was the more human.

  “Are you sure that isn’t the other way ‘round?” I asked.

  “Pretty sure.” Trigger grinned.

  “Dray gets uncomfortable around perceptive people.” Reaver said.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” I murmured.

  “Don’t, he needs a shove or two here and there.” Trigger said.

  I nodded and stretched. I was starting to stiffen up already. I made for the house and Reaver got up and out of my way.

  “Hot shower and bed for me.” I said and they both waved.

  “Night.” Trigger said.

  “G’n
ight.” Reaver echoed.

  “It was nice meeting you both.” I said and it was. They reminded me so much of my eclectic family growing up.

  “It was nice meeting you too Irish.” Reaver said and smiled. I smiled back. I think we were on the same page. He knew that I knew what he was and that I was cool. As a result, he wouldn’t stab me or slit my throat in my sleep. It was a pretty even trade as far as I was concerned.

  I closed the back door behind me and locked it and went for a shower and Dray’s bed in that order. Reaver had left Dray’s keys on the dining table by my laptop. I’d seen them when I’d come in. As I was stripping to get into the bath, I heard a motorcycle start outside. I showered and crawled nude between Dray’s sheets, breathing in deeply. I sighed in exasperation and frustration with Jerry. I hoped this would be it with him, a last hurdle. I closed my eyes and felt my cheeks burn with the memory of the way Dray had kissed me on the dance floor.

  He’d as good as promised more to come on the phone and I felt my body tremble with an unspoken but resolute ‘yes please!’ and I sighed. I needed to make sure Jerry hadn’t given me anything before I took a single step in that direction. With as much as my mind was turning it would be a long time before sleep came.

  Chapter 8

  Dray…

  Spending the weekend in jail sucked balls. What sucked even more was being stuck in jail for the whole weekend with nothing but thoughts of Everett on my mind. I sure as fuck hoped that ass-bag hadn’t given her anything because if he did, I was pretty much going to kill him.

  God Everett… She was different. She knew. She didn’t go through life with a pair of blinders on. She’d grown up at the knees of killers, hell, even her dad may have been one. I stared at the underside of the bunk I’d been assigned and dared to hope. I mean, I have never been kissed like that. Never… and I wanted more. She’d agreed, before my lips touched hers that it didn’t have to mean anything but as soon as I’d tasted her I’d tasted the lie just as surely. As much as I hated liars, I couldn’t blame her for it when I’d been lying to myself just as hard.

  There was something about Everett Moran that I’d been missing. I craved having a girl like that in my life. She was sweet and flexible but she had an inner core of steel in there somewhere. I could see it in her eyes. She looked at you and you just knew her eyes cut right through all the bullshit. Ashton was like that, but she was softer than Everett and that made Everett so much more attractive to me.

  It was Tuesday and I was waiting to be released. My club had posted my modest bail and I had a court date according to my lawyer. We were going to try and plea bargain it down so I wouldn’t have a record for assault. We had a pretty good chance if I paid restitution, stayed out of trouble and volunteered to do some community service. The circumstances helped. My lawyer said that Everett agreed to enter in a sworn statement on my behalf. I was going to kiss her again just for that, but first I needed to get out of here.

  “Draven Trujillo?” I looked up.

  “Yeah that’s me.” I said and got up.

  “Bond’s been posted, come with me.” The correctional officer held open the door for me and I went for it.

  “Thanks man.” I said as I passed him.

  “No problem, right this way and we’ll get you processed out.” Home, shower, Everett in that order.

  Around two hours later I had two accomplished and I was resolutely heading for the third. I pulled up to a stop at a light and put my feet down walking myself and the bike up to the line. I could see her coffee stand up the block, Sadie parked nearby. I figured I’d be clever and I pulled up to the window. A blonde with way too much cleavage leaned out.

  “What can I get you honey?” She asked and I looked passed her. Everett was at the coffee machine chatting at a customer through the window opposite the one I was at. I smiled when I caught sight of her tight jean clad ass and I thrust my chin in her direction.

  “I’m here for her.” I said and the blonde looked over her shoulder. She scowled at me.

  “She’s not on the menu.” She said flatly and I laughed.

  “She is for me.” I revved my engine and I made it loud. Everett startled and whirled around. She quickly handed the coffee off to her customer on the other side and dove for the window. The blonde side stepped and Everett leaned her entire upper body out and grabbed my face, she planted one on me and I laughed, kissing her back.

  “Miss me?” I asked and my heart glowed at the expressive way her eyes lit up.

  “Hell yes!” she said, “Haven’t been able to get you off my mind.” She bounded backwards through the window said something to the blonde and motioned for me to pull around. I parked over by Sadie and shut off the bike. A minute later she came jogging across the parking lot. She had an hour left on her shift.

  “My boss would kill me if he saw this.” She said and hugged herself

  “Don’t get caught or in trouble on my account.” I told her.

  “No I wanted to tell you, our results are in at the clinic.” She was smiling.

  “They tell you?” I asked, she was nodding and her smile got bigger.

  “I’m clean.” She did a little dance right there in her sneakers and it was the cutest damned thing I’d ever seen. I left my phone back at the house charging.

  “We’ll go get mine when you’re off.” I said. She nodded and I jerked my chin in the direction of the coffee shack.

  “Go on get.” I said and she smiled and dashed back across the parking lot. I sat on my bike and people watched. It was crisp but not too cold, overcast but not raining. Soon enough she was off work and coming back my way. She had a sexy damned walk. I realized.

  “Follow me to the house and then we’ll drive out to get our papers.” I told her and she nodded.

  I fired up the bike and waited for her to start up Sadie. What I hadn’t said was that I had every intention of taking my time with her. Treating her right. I didn’t want a quick fuck out of her I wanted to go slow and easy and I wanted her right god damned now. I knew how important having these results in hand was to her and I wanted her to know that I was clean too. I hadn’t taken the test with that intent but now I was glad I had. I didn’t want her to ever have to worry about me. I pulled Matilda into the garage and locked her up tight and safe inside.

  “I don’t have class today, only on Monday and Wednesday.” She said and I felt myself smile. I got into Sadie’s driver’s seat, Everett settling into the passenger side. I backed out of the drive fluidly and headed for the clinic.

  “Was it bad?” she asked quietly, midway there.

  “No.” I told her and I covered her hand with mine. She gripped my fingers and searched my face, nodding.

  “Couldn’t stop thinking about you either.” I confessed.

  “What did you think about?” she asked.

  “I like you Em. I do casual sex but for some reason I don’t want to be that with you. I want it to mean something.” I put it out there and she nodded, her steel blue eyes calculating.

  “Who was she?” she asked and I blinked. Wait what?

  “What?” I asked.

  “You keep telling me you’re nobody’s rebound, someone hurt you. Who was she?” she asked. Crap. I gave myself away.

  “Veronica. She and I hooked up when I was a club prospect back around when I was eighteen. I thought it was love, turns out it was for me but I was just a way for her to get over the guy that dumped her.” I tightened my hand on the wheel and she nodded slowly.

  “I don’t want you to be a rebound.” She said softly.

  “But?” I asked, sensing one coming.

  “I’ve never done this before, but at the same time… You, me… I have never felt anything like what I felt on that dance floor. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m afraid.” I turned onto Twentieth and stopped behind some traffic and thought about it. But she was afraid…

  “Tell you what.” I said gently.

  “What?” she asked and she looked confused, hurt, worried
, and scared all rolled into one stricken expression.

  “Let’s get these results. I’m going to take you out to dinner and let’s let things fall into place, go with what’s comfortable. Minute by minute, day by day, we’ll play it by ear and see where we’re at every step of the way.” I didn’t want this to be complicated. I just wanted a shot at her, with her.

  She thought about it and I waited, holding my breath. Finally she smiled and it was sweet and beautiful and her lips parted and she said what I wanted so desperately to hear.

  “Okay, sounds good… except.” I smiled and turned into the clinic’s lot.

  “Except?”

  “I’d rather stay in and cook.” She bit her bottom lip and waited.

  “Good deal. Probably better for us anyways.” I said. She smiled and I felt pretty damned good about it.

  We went in together and collected our results from the front desk. This was not the most awesome way to start anything but at the same time it sort of was, at least we would know, could be sure. No secrets no surprises. I liked that. It kept things simple.

  I opened my results and as expected they were negative. She was looking over hers and she closed her eyes. Tears coated her lashes.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked and felt a fission of anxiety. She handed me the paper and took mine from me. Her results were all negative. I frowned. Why was she crying? She looked over mine and broke into a sob and reached for me. I pulled her against me and she cried against my shoulder. “What’s wrong!?” I repeated a little more urgently, unsure of what was going on, on if I could fix it.

  “I’m just so relieved.” She sobbed and I got it. I really understood just how bad she had been freaking out about this inside.

  “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” I said, “I’ve got you now.” I let her cry it out, helpless to do anything else. I wanted to knock out more of his teeth, chipping one hadn’t been enough. I held her to me and breathed in her delicate lilac scent. She finally settled down and sniffed wiping at her eyes. I pulled a bandana out of my back pocket and handed it to her. She mopped up and I looked her over. She was even pretty when she cried, I realized.