Gabriel was getting careless with his reputation lately. If another heavenly host spotted him mingling with the offspring of the fallen, he’d never hear the end of it from Peter. He’d be stuck with cherub tasks for a decade.
“I was just telling Bob here,” Gabriel slobbered, “how I can do whatever I want, because when people get to Heaven, who do they wanna see? Me! Right after Jesus and Mary, but still. I’m not gonna lose my job. I’ve been busting my halo for thousands of years. Thousands! I think I deserve a little fun now and then. Don’t I Lala?” His head rolled onto my shoulder.
Lala wasn’t exactly a nickname. Gabriel only used it when he was tanked, which was about half the time.
I sighed. “Gabriel, Josie will leave us both here and take my commission if we don’t go now.”
“Fine, party-pooper. See you boys later.”
The half-breeds nodded and went back to their drinks.
Gabriel left his arm around my waist as we made our way back to the ship. I didn’t stop him because I didn’t think he could walk upright otherwise. We got plenty of strange looks. A reaper and an archangel walked out of a bar. I almost had to laugh.
“About time!” Josie shouted at us from the deck where she untied the ropes holding our ship to the dock.
It was quieter now. Most of the reaper ferries had already departed for the afterlives. Gabriel spread his wings and flew up ahead of me. Feathers rained down as he ran into a mast and fluttered like a spooked chicken to catch himself.
“Don’t fly on my ship while you’re drunk!” Josie was still in a sour mood. She turned her hostile glare to me.
I grinned at her. “Told you I’d make it back in time.”
“With the state he’s in, I wish you hadn’t.” She turned away to pull up one of the sails. “A little help would be nice.”
I stomped over to the next mast and untangled a web of ropes.
Once we were out of the harbor and the noise faded behind us, I went to check on Lial. He was curled up on a couch next to James, who looked relieved to see me.
“Miss Lana, I don’t know if I have enough time to prepare him,” he said, nervously tugging the cuffs of his robe.
I nodded. “Just do your best. I’ll take care of it when we get there.”
I hadn’t told James that I had a coin, and obviously Lial hadn’t mentioned it to him either. It wouldn’t have done much good, seeing as neither of them knew how our coin worked.
Our coin wasn’t just used as currency to make purchases. It held a doorway to the other realms. It would have been nice to just transport the souls to their afterlives with a coin, but if we did that, our boss would take it out of our commission. So we sailed the Sea of Eternity.
“I’m the king of the world!” Gabriel shouted at the head of the boat, nearly falling overboard. Only the flutter of his wings saved him.
“Gabriel!” Josie growled.
“He’s already paid, so let’s just get this over with,” I said as she shot me another nasty look.
“Next time, we’re charging more. I like order on my ship-“
“Our ship,” I corrected her.
We were both possessive of O’Malley’s boat. It’s not every day that you come by a legendary female pirate’s ship.
The sails were open and gently tugged us along towards our first stop, Summerland, my favorite of the afterlives. Not too crowded. Lots of nature to take in. It was a nice break from the bustling city life in Limbo. The Pagans were friendly and didn’t seem to mind the occasional reaper on vacation.
“You wanna go out for a beer when we get home?” I tried to smooth things over with Josie. Her scrunched up face lightened a little and then flushed.
“I can’t.”
“Look, I’m sorry for messing up your schedule.”
“It’s not that. I have a date,” she whispered so Gabriel wouldn’t overhear.
“Oh, really? With who?”
“It’s not a big deal.” She toyed with the ropes of the nearest sail.
“Come on, who?”
She blushed and leaned over the railing. “Horus.”
“Josie.” It was my turn to lecture her. “You know he’s just going to try to bribe you into sneaking more souls into Duat.”
Duat was the Egyptian underworld, but its flow of souls has been steadily decreasing for some time.
“No he won’t! They get enough to keep them happy,” she argued.
“When’s the last time we made a delivery there?”
“He doesn’t care about more souls. Osiris is watching over Duat, and Horus has been vacationing for almost a decade now.”
“Just be careful.”
It wasn’t like Josie to go after one of the old gods. The laws were more lenient these days, but most of society still frowned on reapers dating outside the corporation.
“Hate to interrupt ladies, but we have company,” Gabriel sang out to us.
“What now?” Josie stormed off to the front of the ship with me close behind. We were an hour from Summerland, with three more stops to go. We didn’t need trouble this early.
“Shit.” I frowned at the horizon.
A ship approached us from the north. Clusters of dog-faced demons scaled the masts and sides of the black boat, and a dark-winged man stood on the main deck, holding a leash attached to a soul.
“Caim, that bastard. He’s snatched a clairvoyant soul.” I squeezed my eyes shut. The day just kept getting better.
Caim was enjoying his exile from Hell a little too much, especially since he left with two legions of demons. After his impeachment, he had gone underground for half a century. Now he was out stalking reaper ferries to loot souls.
“I’ll get my bow. You better go find your scythe.” Josie took off for our cabin.
My scythe lay next to the hatch where I had left it the last time I had to terrorize a group of Hell-bound souls down in the hold. There were thirty of them that day. Grim had given me an extra miserable lot after he found out I had snuck a boy, destined for the sea, into Summerland. The Hell-bounds were plotting an escape until my scythe flashed before them.
I grabbed my weapon and headed back to the front of the ship with Josie, who now carried her bow. She had a scythe too but rarely used it. The bow was a gift from Artemis for delivering a message to her twin brother, Apollo. Artemis set up an archery shop after she saw what a hit Athena’s Boutique was, but her brother still resided on Mount Olympus in Summerland.
“We should really get that soul back.” I sighed over Gabriel’s shoulder.
“I wasn’t planning on getting that close.” Josie’s eyes widened with concern as her fingers twitched over the arrows in her quiver.
“You wouldn’t have to,” Gabriel offered. “Distract him, and I’ll go over and get the soul.”
“Do you really think you should be flying under the influence?”
“I’m an archangel. Give me some credit here.”
Josie frowned and lifted her bow. “Fine. You ready Lana?”
“Ready and armed.”
I couldn’t use my scythe long range, but as soon as she let loose an arrow, the demons that could fly would be on us. I could see Caim’s cocky grin now and the sullen expression of the female soul he had captured.
“Go Gabriel!” Josie shouted as she unleashed an arrow.
It was a perfect shot through Caim’s wing. He twisted in agony and dropped the leash. Josie strung another arrow as I lashed out at two demons hovering above us. I didn’t want them to land on our deck. We’d just had it washed. Demon guts were acidic and would burn holes in our new ship if they weren’t cleaned up right away.
Three more of the creatures appeared in mid-air, snapping and snarling. I swung to behead them, only missing one. It landed on the deck and scrambled towards Josie as she pumped Caim full of arrows. I lashed out, catching the creature’s underside with my blade, and flung it overboard with a shriek. Sticky demon pieces splattered my leather pants.
“Lana! They�
�re coming over the side!” Josie backed into me.
Four more demons clawed up the side of the ship and circled us. They were smaller than the others. Three sets of leathery wings scaled down their boney spines. One inched closer, dragging its talons along the deck with a squeal that rivaled a dozen chalkboards.
Josie cringed. “Now that’s uncalled for.” She lifted her bow and popped an arrow through the little devil’s head.
The rest of the litter rushed us. Josie nodded to me, and we attacked together. She darted one with an arrow while I gutted another, splashing the deck with steaming gore. The last demon latched onto my boot just as Josie put an arrow through its head, pinning the toe of my boot to the deck floor in the process.
I sucked in a breath, anticipating a sharp pain that thankfully didn’t follow. The arrow had wedged itself between my toes.
“Nice shot.” I rolled my eyes and reached down to jerk the arrow free.
“Please, you’ve had those boots for nearly a century. It’s time you invest in a new pair anyway.” Josie took the arrow from me and stuffed it back in her quiver. “We’re going to have to file a report now.”
“I’ll do it,” I groaned. “I have an evaluation with Grim in the morning anyway.”
Attacks on reaper ferries had tripled in the past week. Where Limbo City was the ultimate free world, the Sea of Eternity was an aged battlefield, just as hostile as Limbo was neutral. The attacks were the big news of the week, headlining on the covers of Limbo Weekly and the Daily Reaper Report. Channel Nine, Council Street Live, had even issued a cautionary warning to sea travelers and transporters.
Gabriel landed on the deck behind us. The captive soul trembled in his arms. I wondered if she could smell the alcohol on his breath. She stared at us, as though trying to decide if we were any better than the creep we’d just rescued her from.
At a more comfortable distance away, Caim was busy yanking arrows out of his bloodied wings.
“Jerk,” I muttered and wiped my hands off on my pants. They were ruined.
“So, where do we take you?” Josie cooed at the soul. The woman pulled away from Gabriel and looked up at him.
“It’s okay,” he said. “They’ll get you where you need to be.”
She turned back to us and smiled. “Do you travel to Summerland?”
Chapter 2
“Seeing death as the end of life
is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”
-David Searls
Funeral Home Chic. That’s how I’d describe Grim’s office. It was painted the most innocent shade of black with a matte finish. A pot of daisies sat on either side of his coffin-shaped desk. Awards and framed photos covered the three interior walls, while a glossy window overlooking most of the city swallowed the far wall. I could see the harbor, tiny in the distance, and wondered how much longer Grim would keep me waiting.
Grim was the mayor of Limbo City and owner of Reapers Incorporated. As if being mayor and owning the most successful business in Eternity wasn’t enough, he was also the president of the Afterlife Council, and the only member with an indefinite term, because no one else in Limbo had half as much power or influence.
Some thought that the Fates were powerful enough to take his place, but Grim had the Fates wrapped around his finger. He saved them from going out of business and helped them establish their factory in Limbo City. They were indebted to him and supported his position of power.
“Sorry to keep you.” Grim’s gravelly voice made me jump.
I turned to watch him walk into the room. He wore his usual slate gray suit with a black tie. His hair was shiny and neatly combed. He reminded me of a forty-something lawyer, even though he was well over two thousand. The lines around his eyes and mouth were the only signs of aging I could see, and they seemed to deepen as he looked me over. He cleared his throat and smoothed down the folds of his jacket before sitting.
“There’s a position that will be available soon. Someone on the Afterlife Council strongly suggested you. Do you know anything about this?” He didn’t seem pleased.
“No. What kind of position?” I asked, wondering which council member it could have been. I didn’t know any of them well, and aside from shaking their hands after they were voted in, I couldn’t recall meeting one of them at any other time.
“That’s not important. You’ll get all the details when and if you get the job. Until then, your work will be closely reviewed. You should follow the rules if you have any desire to obtain this promotion or any promotion in the future.”
“Of course.” I couldn’t help but smile now. Someone thought I was worthy of a promotion. So what if it wasn’t Grim.
He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned back in his chair. “You know, for as long as you’ve been working for me, it is very surprising that you’re still a low-risk harvester. You’ve accumulated just enough soul violations to delay any possibility of promotion, but not so many that you would be considered for termination.”
He folded his hands on top of his desk and sneered at me like an IRS auditor who had just caught wind of an illegal operation. Death and taxes, not only certain, but cocky as ever. I squirmed in my seat.
I’d only known of one reaper who had suffered termination, which is a fluffier way of saying he was executed. His name was Vince Hare. He got caught selling souls on the ghost market after reporting them CNH, Currently Not Harvestable. After that, anyone who reported more than two unharvestables in a year went through a meticulous investigation, during which they were demoted to low-risk status.
I was already a low-risk harvester, even though I had never been considered for investigation. My soul violations were all classified as transfer errors, and since the souls in question were only destined for the already overflowing sea, I got off with a slap on the scythe.
Grim stared at me a few seconds longer, prolonging my anxiety as long as his schedule would allow, and then let go of his iron gaze and sighed. “Take tomorrow off. If you do happen to get this promotion, the opportunity for a vacation day will be suspended for an undetermined time.”
I raised an eyebrow. Something wasn’t making sense. Only high-risk harvesters had to worry about suspended vacation privileges. The importance of their work required them to be available at a moment’s notice. They took care of the more important souls, harvesting them at the time of death rather than pre-burial like I did. A low-risk harvester like me never jumped that far up the totem pole.
“Ellen has your soul docket waiting out front.” Grim gave me a nod and started going through his mail. I didn’t bother saying goodbye as I slipped out of his office.
“Here you go, Ms. Harvey,” Ellen chirped, handing me a sheet of crisp paper.
I pulled my clipboard out of my robe and fastened the page to it. There were thirty-six names, and nine of them were destined for the sea. Grim knew I hated dumping souls in the sea, but since I was being watched, now I had to. Part of me wondered if he hoped I would break the rules.
I frowned and turned back to Ellen. “I’m gonna need a report form too. My ship was attacked yesterday.”
“Oh, dear.” Ellen took a sip of her coffee and opened a desk drawer. She shuffled through a pile of candy bar wrappers before finding a new pad of blank report forms.
The latest form revision condensed everything into two pages, which was fine by me. No one wants to fill out eight pages of random questions, especially if there isn’t even enough damage done to be compensated for.
“Do you need a claim form too?” Ellen asked.
“No, we took care of the demons before they did any harm to the ship, and no souls were lost.”
“That’s a relief.” She pulled a candy bar out of her purse and unwrapped it before blushing and setting it back down on her desk. “You can drop that form off tomorrow morning if you want.”
“Yeah, sure.” I clipped it under my soul docket and gave her a nod. “See you tomorrow.”
“Have a nice day, sweetie.�
�
Chapter 3
“We have enough religion to make us hate,
but not enough to make us love one another.”
-Jonathan Swift
“Let me guess, another funeral?” Once again, Josie met me on the deck of our ship with her arms folded. It was becoming a daily ritual.
“No,” I sighed. “My evaluation didn’t go so well, and there were thirty-six names on my docket.”
I pushed past her with my last soul. He was a punk in his twenties who had overdosed on speed. He thought it was cool that he was going to Hell, but I put him down in the hold anyway. If I was being watched, I wasn’t taking any chances.
“Oh.” Josie’s critical sneer melted into a frown as she followed me, waiting for all the details.
“It appears that I’m being reviewed for a promotion.”
“What?” She didn’t even try to hide her disgust. “You’re joking,” she said, putting her hands on her hips as her kitten gray eyes shifted into storm clouds.
“Grim’s not happy about it either, so join the club.”
“Then why is he offering you a promotion?” She still wasn’t buying it.
“One of the council members suggested me.” Hearing it aloud brought a smile to my lips.
Normally, I couldn’t have cared less about a promotion. Hell, who am I kidding? I’ve been avoiding promotions for as long as I can remember. Grim obviously had me figured out. I hated my job. But knowing that a council member had suggested me made me feel obligated to perform. Pride is a tricky little bitch.
“Which one?” Josie looked pained as she realized I was telling the truth.
“He wouldn’t say. He wouldn’t even tell me what the position was, just that I was being reviewed and that I should follow the rules.”
“Oh.” It was barely a whisper. “Well, congratulations.”
She gave me a weak smile before turning to yank up a sail. I started on the next one over.
“I know you’re a better reaper than I am, and I’m sorry you weren’t interviewed.”
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