Maalik gave a small bow and winked. I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, escaping back into the empty streets of Limbo. Suddenly, I didn’t feel like shopping anymore.
Chapter 5
“You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your
own image when it turns out that God hates all the
same people you do.” -Anne Lamott
“Poisoned.”
“Drowned.”
“Stabbed. I win!”
Gabriel, Josie, and I sat around my kitchen table. On Tuesday nights, we played poker at my apartment. Gabriel usually crashed at my place when he stayed in Limbo, and Josie’s roommate was busy studying to get a license for collecting high-risk souls in China. So my tiny apartment was the designated gathering place.
The round kitchen table was just big enough for the three of us. It was meant to seat four, but every time Gabriel had a good hand, his wings twitched uncontrollably. We were still working with him on his poker-wings.
Josie was winning tonight, but I had been letting her. I figured if I put her in a good enough mood, she might agree to go out with me Wednesday night so Apollo could surprise her.
The game we played was a modified version of poker. A Fates employee had taught us one night at Purgatory Lounge. I had liked it so well that I paid the Muses to paint us a deck with a reaper theme.
The hearts had been replaced with lost souls. Spades were transformed into scythes. Coffins took over the diamonds, and the clubs were now wilting daisies. My favorite card had to be the Queen of Coffins, displaying a sultry Bride of Dracula knock-off, posing like a pin-up in her earthbound grave.
Josie dubbed the set our Death Deck, and together we renamed the winning hands with forms of dying.
“My deal.” Gabriel sighed as he gathered the cards and began shuffling. He seemed bummed tonight. Peter had probably given him some humiliating task as punishment for showing up drunk again. I hadn’t asked him about the ball yet, but I knew I would have to soon. I didn’t think I’d get another chance before Saturday.
“Hey Gabe?”
“Hmm?” He glanced up from the table.
“Are you going the Oracle Ball this year?”
“Yeah, I guess I should since they’re voting in new members on the council,” he groaned and began dealing.
A cloaked skeleton posed in the center of each card, our proud little mascot.
“Are you taking anyone with you?” I felt myself blush as Josie looked up and cocked an eyebrow.
Gabriel frowned. “Like who?”
I shrugged. “You wanna go with me?”
“Like a date?” He gave me a strange look and tossed his head back to sweep the curls out of his face.
“Just as friends.” This wasn’t going well.
“Since when do you feel the need to have a date for the ball?” Josie chuckled.
I had gone solo for the past twenty years at least. Josie and Gabriel both stared at me, waiting for an explanation.
“Maalik asked me to go, and I told him I already had a date.” I hid behind my fan of cards.
“What?” Gabriel fumbled with the deck. “That snake! Ever since he got promoted to gate duty, I’ve been getting it in my face. All I hear from Peter anymore is ‘Maalik is responsible enough to watch the gate.’ or ‘Maalik doesn’t drink. Why can’t you be more like Maalik?’ He makes me sick. He probably thinks you’re my girl and is trying to whisk you away, just to prove he’s better than me.”
I peeked around my cards. “Does that mean you’ll go with me then?”
“You bet your pretty, little, soul-sailing ass I will.” He smacked the deck in the middle of the table.
Josie looked from Gabriel to me and laughed before taking the top three cards.
“You got a date Josie?” I asked, hoping she wouldn’t say Horus.
“Nah, unless you’re wanting a threesome.” She winked.
“My reputation’s bad enough, thank you,” Gabriel said as I took a card from the deck.
There was still one thing left to take care of. I was going to have to invite Gabriel to Purgatory Lounge along with Josie. If I didn’t, she would know I was setting her up.
“What are you guys doing tomorrow night?”
Gabriel snorted and grabbed two cards. “I’m delivering the message of God to a man in prison around seven, but after that I’m free.”
“I told Athena I’d pick my dress up by eight.” Josie smiled softly, probably as excited about her gown as I was about mine.
“Wanna meet me at Purgatory for a drink around nine?”
“Sure thang, darling,” Gabriel answered with an obnoxious drawl.
I swatted his arm. A few years back he had crashed on my couch after a night of heavy drinking. The next day, while I was at work, he distracted himself from his hangover by helping himself to my collection of western movies. Don’t get me wrong. Seeing an angel impersonate John Wayne is quite hilarious… the first ten times. After that, I resorted to violent threats.
“What do you say, Josie? You up for a few drinks tomorrow?”
She tilted her head to one side and arranged her cards. “Yeah, I’ll go.”
“Good.” I grinned. “What have you got?”
“Car Crash,” Gabriel answered, tossing his pair down in defeat.
“Stabbed again,” Josie cheered, laying out her hand of daisies in a fan.
I raised an eyebrow and placed my cards on the table, one at a time, four nines and my lucky fanged queen.
“Electric Chair. Pay up suckers.” I had the answers I wanted. No need to play nice anymore.
Chapter 6
“Men rarely invent gods superior to themselves.
Most gods have the morals and manners of a spoiled child.”
-Robert Heinlein
Purgatory Lounge was packed. At least fifty souls and lesser deities swayed and bumped against each other on the dance floor to the beat of Rob Zombie’s Living Dead Girl. The city’s population had double overnight because of the upcoming ball, but it was nearing ten o’clock, and there was still no sign of Apollo.
Gabriel fussed with his sleeves. He was still wearing his work robe, because the genius he’d delivered God’s message to needed it explained in small words and four different ways. Josie and I had found time to change after work.
I wore black, leather pants and a gray silk blouse Josie had given me along with the snotty advice, “The expression dress to kill wasn’t meant to be taken literally.” My black ringlets were artfully piled atop my head, and I had exchanged the hooker lipstick for a glossy gray that matched my blouse.
Josie sparkled in a slinky, black cocktail dress and skyscraper heels. Her short, black locks were sculpted into playful spikes and a pair of feather earrings brushed the tops of her shoulders. She had gone all out. I didn’t blame her. It had been at least a month since she’d come out for drinks with us.
We were seated at one of the booths across from the bar. The tables were made of withered oak, and the benches were pews that the owner, a retired demon, had salvaged from a church as it burned down. You could tell by their blackened corners and sooty odor. The brick walls were plastered with fliers for the ball and posters of Rock bands, illuminated by a web of red lights hanging from the ceiling.
I sat up taller to look around the room. A pack of demons huddled near the pool table. They didn’t bother me here as much as they did in the other realms. If they put a talon out of line in Limbo, Grim would personally execute them. I’d seen him do it before. Other than the demons, I spied a cluster of angels, a Roman god and goddess arguing at the bar, and the rest of the crowd consisted of reapers and factory souls.
Josie rapped her fingers on the table, watching me scan the room for the tenth time. “Okay, Lana, give it up. Who’s coming?”
“I’m just looking,” I said.
“Right, and I visit Hell to ice skate.”
“Josie?” Apollo’s smooth voice carried over the chattering crowd. He had sn
uck in without detection. Soft, gold curls framed his smiling face. The woodsy smell of his leather pants and jacket let me know the outfit was new and probably from his twin sister’s store. Josie jumped up from the booth and threw her arms around his neck.
“When did you get here?” she asked, laughing as she pecked his cheek.
“Just now.” He tugged her closer and leaned down for a real kiss. When he pulled away, Josie looked surprised and reached up to tug nervously on her ear lobe, a cute little habit of hers.
“You know Maalik already, I’m sure.” Apollo turned and waved for the angel to join us. I grit my teeth.
“Hello, Lana.” He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of black leather pants. His dark curls hung just past his shoulders, brushing a bare and muscled chest that immediately took my eyes hostage.
“Hello,” I replied, remembering he had spoken to me. I had a hard time thinking around him, and he knew it. Hell, he enjoyed it. That was part of the reason I couldn’t stand him.
“Not on gate duty anymore?” Gabriel snapped with a grin.
“No. I’m needed elsewhere,” he answered.
Gabriel nodded and gently rested his hand on mine. Relieved, I scooted closer to him. I could think again. He was my savior.
“That’s too bad,” sighed Gabriel. “I bet you’ll miss the income.”
“I don’t work for the income. I work to serve Allah. What are you drinking? I’ll buy the next round,” he added before Gabriel had a chance to think of a witty comeback. From his sour expression, I doubted he had one.
“Long Island,” I answered first. I was going to need something strong if I was expected to put up with him.
“Water,” Gabriel muttered. He was working harder on his image lately. I suspected Peter was keeping a close eye on him.
“I’ve got Josie’s,” Apollo laughed and tugged her away to the bar. She looked over her shoulder with a worried expression and mouthed be nice at me.
Maalik waved down a waitress and placed our orders, adding a cranberry juice. I had forgotten he didn’t drink. Super. I was stuck at a table with two bitter, sober angels. Perfect.
“So.” Maalik sat down across from us. “Will you be taking an apprentice this year?” His tone had switched from flirty to friendly as soon as he noticed my hand in Gabriel’s.
“No. Maybe next time.”
I didn’t even want to think about an apprentice. Josie tested my nerves enough as it was. The idea of having an amateur tag along behind me for a hundred years wasn’t appealing in the least. I could deal with Josie lecturing me on the rules, but a novice? Hell no.
“This is the third generation after you. Grim hasn’t asked you to take even one?” Maalik looked surprised.
“I don’t think Grim wants me showing anyone the ropes. He’s too afraid I’d corrupt them. I don’t follow the rules as closely as he would like.” I crossed my legs and leaned back in the booth.
“Now, darling.” Gabriel donned his John Wayne voice. “You’re an excellent reaper. They should let you make your own rules.”
“Rules are made for a purpose.” Maalik lifted his chin. I’d never heard him sound so justified. It made me wonder if he was being serious, or if he was just trying to agitate Gabriel. “This city wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the rules the gods agreed to follow in the peace treaty,” he added.
“Yeah?” I shot back, “and I wouldn’t exist if it hadn’t been for Grim breaking one of those rules.”
He gave a small nod. “True, but he broke it with permission from the council. If he hadn’t, he’d be dead right now, and so would you.” His face was blank, but his words had a bite to them. I shivered.
Gabriel stood. “Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about you breaking any rules while I’m in the can then. I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” He pulled my hand up to kiss the tops of my fingers and grinned before strutting away. He was enjoying this way too much. I just hoped he didn’t take it too far.
“I assume he’s your date for the ball?” Maalik smiled at me, his chocolate eyes sparkling with mischief again.
The waitress appeared with our drinks and I gulped down half of my tea before answering. “Yes.”
“He seems very fond of you.”
“And I’m very fond of him.”
“Funny, in all the times I’ve seen you two together, I would have never guessed you were a couple.” He grinned knowingly, but I wouldn’t give up that easy.
“I may bend the rules, but I still take my job seriously. It would be unprofessional to display our affections while working.”
“Does that mean you are a couple then?”
He had me there. Lying isn’t a talent of mine. Where was Josie when I needed her? She knew how to twist the truth to say whatever she wanted.
“He’s my date for the ball, and he’s staying the night with me. Is that enough personal information for you?” I snapped.
His flirty grin drooped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Yes, you did.” I scowled at him.
Gabriel plopped down next to me before realizing something was wrong.
“What’d I miss?” He looked from me to Maalik.
“I’m ready. Let’s go.” I took Gabriel’s hand and stood. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Maalik sighed.
“Where are you two going?” Josie asked, tilting back her martini. She and Apollo had finally made it back to the table.
“Home, home on the range,” Gabriel sang and pulled me closer.
“No way! I never get to go out, and Apollo’s here. You can’t leave now. We’re going to dance and play pool and drink shots.”
“Next time, I promise we’ll stay until they kick us out. I just had to get you out here tonight so Apollo could surprise you.” I grabbed my leather jacket off the back of the booth and folded it over my arm.
“I knew you were looking for someone,” Josie laughed.
“Come over Friday, and I’ll make you dinner,” I offered. She seemed content enough being with Apollo.
“Okay.” She gave me a quick hug before chasing Apollo out on the dance floor. When I glanced back, Maalik was gone. Gabriel took my hand and led me out of the lounge.
“Your place or mine,” he teased in a sultry voice.
“You really don’t like him, huh?”
“Was it that obvious?” He swung our held hands up in the air.
“You don’t plan on being this giddy during the ball do you?” I was being reviewed for a promotion. I didn’t think it would help my chances if two angels went at it with me in the middle, especially in front of all of Eternity.
“I’ll be subtle,” he whispered close to my ear and slapped my ass.
“Gabriel!” I popped him on the shoulder. “I mean it. I’m up for promotion, and Grim’s watching me like a hawk.”
“I’m just kidding, Lana. Geesh! You’re going to be worse than Josie at this rate.”
“You’re an archangel. You’re supposed to be worse than both of us put together. How is it we’ve become the good influence on you?”
“I have my suspicions.” He winked at me. “Peter’s paying you. Isn’t he?”
“Get out.” I chuckled and gave his shoulder another punch.
Chapter 7
“Pale Death with impartial tread beats at the poor man’s cottage door and at the palaces of kings.”
-Horace
Josie leaned back on my bed and set her container of Thai noodles on her stomach. I said I’d make dinner, but I should have known better. It was the day before the ball. We were swamped at work, and Athena’s package took us another hour to unload at Summerland’s gate. Just a few things turned out to be about a dozen trunks, heavy enough to make me wonder if there were a few dead bodies in them. After getting off three hours later than usual, we decided to grab some take-out instead.
Grim had worked out a deal with the Fates so that there was a minimum number of souls to harvest on the day of the ball.
It made it easier for everyone to prepare for and travel to the Oracle Ball, but it also meant we had to work extra hard the day before.
“Today sucked,” Josie said out loud what I was thinking.
“I have a feeling tomorrow won’t be much better.”
“Yeah,” she sighed. “We’ll probably have a huge lot of souls that all have to go to Hell.”
“That sounds like something Grim would do.” I stuffed my chop sticks down in my container of noodles and yawned as I leaned back on my couch and propped my ankles up on the coffee table.
My apartment was a mess. The kitchen table was covered in back issues of Limbo Weekly and Reaper Reports, so we ate in the living room slash bedroom. I had a studio apartment. The rent was cheap, so I didn’t mind.
“Who do you think they’re voting in this year?”
“I don’t know,” Josie said. “I asked Horus, but he doesn’t seem to know either. I wonder if he’ll be voted in. Isis is leaving this year.”
“From the way you’ve been talking about him, I was sure he would ask you to the ball.” I smiled, still glad he hadn’t.
“I don’t think Horus is interested in me. I thought he was at first, but the more time I spend with him, the more I get the feeling that he thinks he’s too good for me.” Josie laughed, trying to brush it off, but I could tell her feelings had been hurt. “It doesn’t matter though.” She hopped off my bed and faced me. “Because Apollo is taking me.”
“I knew he would ask you. He’s so much nicer than Horus, anyway.”
“You have to see my dress! I’ll be right back.” She darted out of my apartment and down the hall. The elevator pinged. We lived in the same building, but her apartment was a floor above mine. I went to fish my dress out of the closet before she got back.
Even with a tiny apartment, I did have a nice walk-in closet. The souls who worked at the factory only stayed in Limbo for twenty to thirty years, but reapers lived here considerably longer. You can acquire a lot of clothing in three hundred years, especially if you like to shop as much as I do.
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