“Uh-oh. He’s terrific, isn’t he?”
Lauren, still half whispering, “Oh, my God, would you cut it out?”
Mrs. Coles says, sternly, “Laaauren.”
Lauren can see that keeping her feelings at bay with her mom is hopeless. She says, “Mom, I’m a professional, and this is not only the biggest case of my career so far, it might prove to be the biggest I’ll ever work on, okay? But I got to tell you, there’s something about this guy. He’s, I don’t know, he’s really special, Mom.”
“I knew it! I could tell. There was something in your voice, something I haven’t heard in a long time.”
“Mom, he’s some kind of special. I mean …”
“Yes?”
Lauren, now really whispering, “I reeaally like him. Is that wrong?”
“Laurie, sweetie, you know I think you work too much and need to spend more time with friends. If you have a new friend that makes you feel happy—truly happy—no, it’s not wrong for you to like him! Certainly you don’t let it interfere with your job. But on the other hand, truly happy people tend to be better workers, so you can’t neglect that side either.”
Lauren, exasperated says, “Oh, Mom! I think I’m even more confused.”
“You’re a good girl Laurie, I know you’ll do what’s right. I’m especially thrilled that you met him today!”
Lauren, taking a deep breath says, “Yeah … Thanks, Mom, I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. Oh-oh-oh, I almost forgot, I gave Kevin your cell number. Did he call?”
“Yes, but I can’t talk to him right now. I gotta go, Mom, love you.” Lauren then calls her office and gets the details of the case.
Danning tells her that, though her work has been terrific, and the progress she and Hinton are making is spot on, the case has been essentially elevated to National Security level. He explains in detail what Hinton meant by babysitters. Her new orders are to get to the house, figure out an excuse to stay there, and spend her time collecting any information she can from the mother and Joseph. NSA agents will be responsible for their safety. As an NSA project, a new timeline has been established. The luxury of secrecy has been curtailed and by 10:00 a.m. tomorrow they are all to release their covers and remand the family into protective custody. She is to protect her assignees with her life. As for command, she still reports to him, and he is still in charge, but oversight comes directly from NSA. Lauren will be in charge of the Middletown residence, but six NSA agents will be in town by the time she gets there and will have taken charge of researching church members, town’s people, local authorities, and the father’s business. He consoles her shock with:
“Agent Coles, you’ve done excellent work here, and it will be noted on your record, but our little mystery has grown to international significance.”
• • •
When Lauren exits the ladies room, James is again waiting to escort her to the car. He notices her slight change in disposition and assumes that at least one of her private conversations must have gone poorly. He opens the passenger door for her and then, for the first time, takes the wheel.
Attempting to lighten the mood he beams, “I hate to admit this, but this is my first time driving …” Lauren’s eyes grow wide, and just as she’s about to lodge protest he finishes his sentence with, “a convertible.” He smiles at her as if to say, gotcha, which she returns with an equally playful expression. He then adds, “Here’s the food, and I got two dressings ’cause you didn’t tell me which you wanted on your salad.”
“Thank you James,” and there it is again, a brief special moment between them—like they’d been friends for years, and this was very common. They both sense it, but choose not to delve into it.
James, “I hope your conversations went as planned?”
“Yeah, more or less, I actually didn’t call Kevin.”
As soon as she says it, she thinks, why in the world did I say that? What is it about the guy that makes me so candid? So honest! How would he read what I just said? Would he think I changed my mind about dumping Kevin; that I preferred Kevin to him? Agent Lauren is yet again struggling to get her mind back on the case. She decides to take a chance on James and tell him the truth—just not the whole truth. She justifies it thinking, “in about nineteen hours, he’s gonna discover that I’ve been lying to him and feel horrible. I can’t lose his friendship that way.” When she turns to tell him, she sees him clearly this time, head bowed, eyes closed; he is praying for his food. For McDonald’s food! She waits till he’s done and then says:
“James, I’d like to let you in on a little secret.”
James, starting the car and pulling out with a mouth full of cheeseburger says, “Bring it!”
Lauren, preparing her salad, “Well, there’s more to me going to New York than meets the eye. Um. I’m also working on a secret project.”
James says with intrigue, “Some extra curricular type stuff?”
“Exactly! At my level, you actually get to liaison with real law enforcement.”
James interrupts, “Cool!”
At that same time, Lauren gets an unexpected text message from the Secret Service. She half expects it to be her boss asking, What are you doing! But is in fact her research staff with new information. Continuing her conversation while texting, she says, “Yeah, and so … anyway, um, as a part of my assignment I’m doing a report on a perfect stranger, and …”
James, deciding to let her off the hook jokes with, “I’ve had lots of attractive women say nice things about me before, but rarely do they refer to me as perfect, at least not right to my face! I’m, I’m flattered really!”
She laughs as the tension releases. She is so taken by him at this moment she can barely control the urge to lean over and kiss him on the cheek! She says, “So you don’t mind then?” while at the same time writing to her team that they’ll have to present their findings directly to Danning. She gets a text back that reads “Deputy Director Danning?”
James, answering her other question says, “What do I care! You’re still giving me a ride aren’t you.”
Lauren thinks in reference to all the other lies, “In more ways than one!” but replies, “Yes, that’s true.” Then she continues her text conversation with the team, “u gz r gr8, u can doit, b neat, qik, ognzd!”
James continues, “No, I don’t mind at all. Is that why you were kinda down when you came out of McDonald’s? You felt bad about using me?”
Lauren, who is not dizzied by the simultaneous conversations, says, “Kinda.”
James takes a good look at her, then, shaking his head says, “Humph, who would have thought you’d be so nice. I mean when you floored me on campus, literally, I thought– I thought, Wow! But I would have never thought you’d be such a nice person, Miss Coles.”
Lauren blushes a little and kind of ducks her head with a smile.
He continues, “No I don’t mind at all. But doesn’t it ruin your project, me knowing that you’re studying me?”
Lauren is impressed, she thinks, wow, he’s right, but she covers quickly with, “No, not really, I’ve got all that I need on you. I’ve discerned your height, weight, home town, relatives, etc., I have your cell phone, and I’ll get your home phone and address when I’m there with some lame excuse about perhaps being your ride back to school, so I’m good.”
“Wow that’s great! You’re really terrific.” And there it was a third time, another sentence that at face value could mean little, but seems to mean much more. Was she terrific at her job? Or did he mean he thinks SHE is terrific?
Lauren then reaches over and pats him on the shoulder and says, “You’re terrific, and I hope we’ll keep in touch after this is over—this trip.”
James looks at her and follows suit with, “That would make me very happy.” and PHEW! They’d done it. Both had committed enough to establish a relationship that was to last beyond this first encounter. It had been in back of both of their minds since first mile, and the first smile.
/> • • •
With that out of the way, they both felt free to talk about anything. Lauren starts with a doozy. “So, do you always bless your food?”
James, again with a full mouth, “Umm hmm.”
“Even if it’s just McDonald’s fast food?”
“Why would that make it any less worthy of blessing?”
“Well, I always thought you blessed food like dinner or at Thanksgiving, not just everyday food.”
“I bless my food to say thank you God, it doesn’t have to be fancy, I’ve got something to eat, may it nourish me and keep me healthy. Considering that, people should bless their McDonald’s food even more!”
Lauren has something up her sleeve. She really likes James, but all the religious stuff has kinda gotten in the way. She feels the need to test some of his beliefs, perhaps to see if he could be a little less extreme … and a little more right for her. She thinks a moment then asks, “So, with all that praying I guess you never get sick?”
“Oh, I’ve been sick, perhaps not as often as some, but I’ve had my fair share of stomach aches.”
“Well, if you don’t mind me prying …”
James, seemingly very pleased says, “I don’t mind at all.”
“If you believe that blessing your food will keep you healthy, and you get sick, doesn’t that, you know, fly in the face of what you believe?”
“No. Just because I don’t understand why something happened doesn’t mean that it was: A, Necessarily bad, or B, Not my own doing. If you decide to drive to the store, and make a wrong turn, you still get to the store, and perhaps you learn of a gas station or something on the wrong street that you wouldn’t have otherwise. So the wrong turn ultimately wasn’t a bad thing. And it was you who didn’t ask the store for directions in the first place, so are you gonna beat yourself up over that, or be happy that when some day you need gas or someone asks you where’s the closest gas station you’ll know.”
Lauren, “Wow, the way you look at things! First of all, I’m gonna be too angry that I’m lost to even notice the gas station! But that’s totally different.”
“How is that totally different?”
“Because in your scenario it’s just me and my stupidity, but with blessing your food, you were actually trusting in a higher power to keep you from getting sick and he let you down. I mean what can you learn while making long distant phone calls to Earl on the porcelain telephone!”
James laughs so hard at her statement that he nearly has to pull over; which then makes her laugh! The two are cruising down the highway, in a Mustang convertible, laughing their heads off!
Lauren says, “You’ve never heard that one?”
James, catching his breath and with tears in his eyes “No, but …” He laughs some more, “when you puke, it does kinda sound like you’re saying Earl! Oh, my God that’s funny! Porcelain telephone. Oh, and long distance like you have to yell! That is just too funny!”
“Well, I’m glad you liked it!”
“That’s one I’ve got to tell Joey, it’ll kill him! Anyway, let’s see. Oh, you’re saying that since I got sick that God let me down, and,” with laughter, “you don’t learn anything by throwing up. Let’s start with the easier one.” Sobering up he continues, “I learn by getting sick, what makes me sick, how to sympathize with others when they become sick, and how to appreciate my good health. So no, I’d have to say that I definitely learn something in getting sick,” with a broad smile, “even if I wind up making long distance phone calls on the porcelain bowl. So, now that I don’t feel so bad about what happened, I’m not as inclined to feel like God let me down.”
Lauren just stares at him. She’s thinking, “Wow, what a great guy! How positive! Such simple honest faith; I’d hate to burst his bubble.” But something inside her pushes her forward, presses her to settle this matter. It’s as if she needs to test James, that he seems a little to good to be true. Perhaps she sees herself falling for him, and this one thing seems to stand in the way. Whatever the reason, she wants to know if he’s a potential Mr. Right or just Mr. Right-Wing Religious Nut. Now that he’s driving, she can really study his face and facial expressions. He’s so clean-cut and sincere and honest in his replies—and quite handsome.
Skillfully she concedes a little with, “I see your point. I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way.” But then, pondering a moment, she adds, “But what if you get really sick, and, like, miss school, and become a burden to your family?”
James actually didn’t see that one coming and says, “Wow. Okay, now we’ve waded into the deep waters, the waters of why does God allow human suffering.”
Lauren, still a little lost in her study of his face, leans toward him and asks, “Is that where we are?”
James, who catches sight of her out of the corner of his eye, says, “Yep. That’s the big one! And, let me be honest and say, I don’t really truly know. Okay? I mean I cannot remember in the Bible specifically God allows human suffering because, but I can tell you what I believe; some of which is from reading the Bible, some, just from life experiences.”
“And that is …”
“And that is that Godly results can actually be the end product of tragedy.”
Lauren, with a slight frown, “What?”
“If I got really sick, I know that it would be very, very hard—Very hard. I don’t make light of that at all; but even that is not necessarily as bad as we tend to see it. Sure, my understandings of my life, and the lives of those around me will be irrevocably altered, but like in my metaphorical going-to-the-store scenario, you’re still gonna get to the same place ultimately, it’s just a whole different set of circumstances along the way. So, change our scenario to match; instead of making a wrong turn, let’s say that you fell and broke your ankle–”
“Gee, thanks a lot!”
He continues, “You of course have to get it fixed and so forth, but now, instead of driving, you’ll have to take your crutches and walk. Along the way some people help you, some do not, but you’ll learn all sorts of things you wouldn’t know had this not happened. It’ll be much, much harder, and take much, much longer, but you will still get there. Maybe you take public transportation and meet nice people, but you do eventually arrive at the store. And if you are able, if you can find a way to be thankful for whatever you do have, even if it’s very, very little, then the trip will be better than you think. Better for you and better for everyone around you! Your courage, your strength—and your faith—will likely inspire others and touch them. You will change the lives you pass by on crutches that would have never seen you had you whizzed by at thirty-five miles an hour.”
Lauren is stunned. She was sure this would shred his naive beliefs, and perhaps even divide them a little. But quite the opposite; it seemed instead to invigorate him! He really does believe this stuff with conviction, and she finds that somewhat admirable—though she’s not finished yet. That thing that has been pressing her forward, causing her to push this question, is still alive in her, and exactly what it is, has becoming clear. It wasn’t about the case, which for the moment she’d all but forgotten; and it wasn’t even about their burgeoning relationship; it was something she needed for herself. It went back to a blow in her belief system, delivered by someone very much like James, very positive; very spiritual.
And now that she finally had one of them all to herself she was going to get some long awaited questions answered. “Well, what if I don’t want that life? What if I prefer to finish college and have a career and a family and all that stuff? What kind of God gives a person deep desires, desires in their heart, and then utterly ignores them?”
James, takes a deep breath and shaking his head says, “Lauren, I don’t think you’re gonna want to hear my thoughts on those kinds of questions.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I mean these are deep, deep questions.”
“Well, you said that you thought I was very together and deep did you not?”
Jame
s replies, “I think I said together and sincere.”
Lauren quips, “deep, sincere—close enough.”
James, with some hesitation, “Okay, you’re gonna have to bear with me on this because this is an area where even people who really believe and are committed sometimes run aground.”
“Really?”
“I’m talking ministers, and people who serve in the church! It’s just one of the hardest things to accept.”
Lauren, half playfully, “Spill it!”
James, with one last cautionary note, “You know this is crazy, real people don’t talk about all this kind of stuff, certainly not when they first meet. Are you sure you’re not still studying me or something?”
“Quit stalling, Market, give!”
“Alright, so your basic premise, if I follow you, is what if you don’t want your life’s course to change the way God’s changing it, if you don’t like the trials and hardships, and that he’s wrong to go against what you feel is right for you, is that right?”
She nods with a fading smile.
“Well, the answer, the short answer, the one that’s clear in the Bible is, Who are you to argue with God. And also, that he deserves at least the props that you gave your parents! You didn’t have much, if any, say in their decisions about your life; what you’d eat, what you would wear, how late you could stay up and where you could go, why can’t God have the same respect?”
Lauren, leaning back and a little disappointed, “That’s all you got? Come on, no wonder people in the church disagree. What kind of lame– First of all, my parents did care about what I wanted, they didn’t just force me to eat and wear whatever, because they loved me they at least tried to satisfy my desires. Second of all, parents don’t put desires in only to snatch their fulfillment! And third of all, my parents at least kept pace with what was going on in the world and adjusted for the circumstance. But God seems to be out of sync; sometimes in really big, life’s course, life-and-death circumstances.”
“Perhaps that’s the problem right there, well-meaning parents, who don’t make it clear to their children that what they say goes! Sure they’ll hear your desires, but only those which align with their decisions, get a yes. To you that seems like they’re doing what you want, but in fact if they are good parents they are doing the things you want that line up with their will! And that’s how it is with God. So in the scenario, you’re bummed because you went to college to become a doctor or something, which I can guarantee you, God did not lead you to be, because he can see that you’d be a lousy doc. So when he made adjustments to your life that lead you to be a great home town store owner, what’s your beef?”
The Journal: A Prophecy, A President & Death Page 13