by Carrie Elks
‘You hogging the snacks?’ he whispered, sitting down on the floor next to her. Unlike Kitty, sitting cross-legged wasn’t a natural position for Adam. Instead he stretched his long legs in front of him, taking up much more floor space than she did. Without asking, he grabbed a handful of her popcorn, putting the salty sweet kernels into his mouth. She huffed indignantly and he tried not to grin.
‘Get your own popcorn, you snack thief,’ she whispered, batting his hand away when he went in for more. On his second attempt, she grabbed hold of his hand, and he automatically found himself circling his fingers around hers. Like the rest of their bodies, his hand dominated hers, and he watched with fascination as she tried without success to escape his grasp. There was something about the way her palm fitted so perfectly within his that meant he couldn’t tear his eyes away.
Then the opening credits began and she used his distraction to pull away from his hold, swatting him softly on the wrist when he tried to grab her again. It was strange, but there was an emptiness in him, as if he’d already gotten used to the feeling of her hand. He wanted it back, that sweet feeling of contentment, of her soft, warm skin against his.
Like a teenage boy, he started to plot, working out how best he could maintain contact between them. Between the cloak of darkness, and the fact they were on the floor out of everybody’s view, it was as though they were the only two people in the room.
Each time she reached for more popcorn, Adam did the same, using the opportunity to brush his hands against hers. Sometimes he’d grab the handful she was going for, forcing a sigh of aggravation from her lips that made him want to kiss them hard and long.
He was like a kid pulling braids. Annoying her seemed the only thing he could do, and if he was being honest, he was enjoying it immensely. So when she finally picked up the bowl and moved it to her other side, far away from his grasp, he happily used the opportunity to snake his arm around her waist and dip his hand into the bowl.
‘What are you doing?’ Her soft voice was a rush of warmth against his ear. He hadn’t realised they were quite so close.
‘I’m hungry,’ he whispered back, unable to keep the smile from his face. ‘You can’t waft all that goodness in front of me and then take it away.’
‘Get your own snack.’
‘I like yours better.’ He took another few kernels, using the opportunity to brush his hand against her back, causing her to shiver in a way that made him want more.
‘You’re so annoying.’ Kitty dug her elbow into his waist. But she didn’t sound annoyed at all. Instead she sounded a little breathless, and when he looked at her face, illuminated by the flickering screen, he could see her eyes were wide and her lips plump. If only there were more light he’d have sworn her cheeks were flushed, too.
She had no business being so goddamned pretty, but he was glad she was. Silhouetted against the opening scene of the movie, he could see her thick eyelashes flutter as she blinked, and the way her lips opened slightly when she breathed in. He felt the urge to touch them, to trace a finger along the swollen skin, to watch her eyes widen as he pushed a thumb into her mouth.
‘Can we thread some popcorn now, Kitty?’ Jonas threw himself down next to them. Adam hadn’t noticed him getting up. Not that he had been paying any attention to anybody but Kitty. ‘We can loop it around the tree like you said.’
The interruption should have relieved the tension that had been building up between them, but when Adam glanced over at her again, Kitty was staring right back at him. She had her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. He could see the reflection of the big screen in her shining eyes, as James Stewart threw a lasso around the moon, promising to bring it down for his sweetheart.
In the movie, George wanted to give the girl of his dreams anything she wanted.
Even if Adam had a rope long enough, he never could have done the same.
13
Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye
– Love’s Labour’s Lost
Kitty lay awake in her bed long after the rest of the family had gone to sleep. She’d listened to the sounds of the creaking house, hearing the clicking pipes, the groaning shingles, and a collection of other noises that formed the soul of the mansion. Each house she’d lived in had its own soundtrack, as distinctive as a fingerprint would be to a human, but this was the closest she’d ever heard to her childhood home. It could have been the age of the house, or the fact it was filled with people. Or perhaps it was simply a coincidence that the tap-tap of the water in the old pipes seemed to have the same rhythm as her father’s London house.
There was another similarity, too. As a child she’d lived in the attic room, part of the house originally intended for servants. Now here she was again, nestled under the roof of another house, feeling thoughtful and alone. Unlike this one, though, her London bedroom had been cramped, with a low roof, but the magical feeling of being on top of the world grabbed a young Kitty every time she climbed the three flights of stairs to get up there. It was a refuge from her family, from her noisy, nosy sisters who could sometimes be too much. It was her haven from problems at school, and somewhere she could hide from her kind yet befuddled father, who when he was busy concentrating on his work would often mistake her for Cesca or Juliet.
Right now her bedroom was somewhere she could lie and think about what happened earlier, when Adam had kept grabbing her hand and stealing her popcorn, wearing a huge grin that stole her breath away. She’d called him annoying but he was anything but. Everything about him had been alluring.
Even when Jonas came and sat with them, she could still feel Adam’s stare. It burned her skin and sped up her heartbeat, and she hadn’t wanted it to end.
Of course it had, and he’d stood up to kiss his now-sleeping mother, telling Annie he had to leave because he had ‘something waiting for him’ back at the cabin. They’d all known he was talking about the dog, well, all of them save Jonas, yet Kitty couldn’t help but feel disappointed at his departure. He’d shot her a final look, and mouthed that he’d see her in the morning, and her chest constricted all over again.
It was hard to understand how somebody so infuriating could also be so completely attractive. When they’d sat together watching that movie it was as though a chemical reaction was taking place between them. It left her breathless and aching, wondering if he was going to touch her every time he reached for more popcorn. And if she was honest, every cell in her body was hoping he would. He was like an addiction.
She spent the night tossing and turning with nervous anticipation, replaying the scenes of the evening in her mind into the early hours. Was it really only a few days since she’d first met him? She’d been so afraid as he’d grabbed his gun and stalked towards her, his face grim even though his only concern had been for the suffering animal. Then so angry when he chewed her out by the lake, his mouth drawn into a tight, bleached line.
From the first moment they’d met, the two of them had clashed, like they were drawn together by a magnet. And now she didn’t seem able to escape the attraction.
Maybe she didn’t want to.
She slept through her alarm, not waking until it was gone six. Panic immediately gripped her chest as she realised the hour. In a tangle of fresh clothes and toiletries she somehow managed to make herself look decent, before running downstairs to find Jonas colouring at the old kitchen table. Crayons were scattered over the table, red, green and yellow scrawls across the paper. He was filling in the outline of a Christmas tree, drawing the baubles, making the star stand out. Why did he have to be up so early today of all days?
‘There you are. We weren’t expecting you so early.’ Annie’s smile was warm as she looked up from the table. ‘We figured you deserved a lie-in after all your hard work.’
Kitty reached out to ruffle Jonas’s hair. ‘I should have been up earlier,’ she said, then shot Annie a pointed look. ‘I’ve got that errand to run, and things to do this morning.’
Annie beckoned Kit
ty over to the corner of the kitchen, pulling her into the pantry and closing the door so Jonas couldn’t hear them. ‘If you’re going down to the cabin, I found a box of decorations we didn’t use yesterday. Could you take them down and offer them to Adam?’
Annie knew all about the arrangement between Kitty and Adam, and the fact she was due to go down to the cabin each day. Though her eyebrows had risen up when Kitty recounted the story, it had seemed more in surprise than in judgement.
‘Does he want to decorate his house?’ Kitty couldn’t disguise the disbelief in her voice.
Annie grinned. ‘He may not realise he does, but with a little gentle persuasion…’
Kitty’s eyes widened. She’d heard all this before. What made Annie think she could make Adam do anything? ‘He won’t listen to me. The last time I went down there the dog had messed all over his floor.’
‘You’d be surprised.’ Annie was having none of it. ‘You persuaded him to look after the dog, not to mention getting him to agree to a movie night with his mother. I’m thinking bringing a little festive cheer to his cabin is all in a morning’s work for you.’
Were they talking about the same person here?
‘You’ve got it wrong,’ Kitty protested. ‘He doesn’t like me at all. Remember how he treated me when I totalled my car on the way here? He made me walk up the drive in the most useless pair of shoes.’
Annie shook her head. ‘I saw how he looked at you last night. Believe me, there’s nothing that can make Adam do something he doesn’t want to. But when he was looking at you, oh boy, there were some serious pheromones flying through the air.’
Kitty spluttered with laughter. ‘Pheromones?’ She wasn’t expecting that. Annie had a way of surprising her.
‘Pah, you know what I mean. When that boy looks at you, it brings me in mind of the day Mr Drewer asked my daddy for my hand in marriage. And back then my parents had a party line, he had to send them a telegram to arrange a time. He had seven days to stew about that conversation with my father.’
Kitty couldn’t help but smile at the sweetness of Annie’s story. There was a timelessness to the old housekeeper that made it hard to believe she was once a young girl filled with romantic hopes and dreams. Yet hope was timeless, just like love. Kitty needed them both. Craved them, even. Not that she was sure she’d ever find them.
‘OK, I’ll take the decorations down with me,’ she agreed. ‘But if he shouts at me, it was your idea.’
Annie laughed. ‘I can take that. Now shoo, it’s not long until Christmas. You and I have a lot to do.’
It felt so lovely to be included in a plan that it brought tears to Kitty’s eyes. The Kleins may not have been family – nor was Annie come to that – yet there was something about staying in this house that made her feel like she’d come home.
Right then, in an old mansion in the middle of the West Virginian mountains, covered with snow, icicles and a thousand twinkling lights, it felt as though she was starring in a holiday special all of her own.
Adam had been awake for most of the night. His inability to sleep reminded him of those times when he was filming in a foreign country, his mind full of questions, his body on high alert. Even in his downtime he hadn’t allowed himself to wind down. Now, cooped up in his cabin in the middle of a West Virginia winter, he felt as though he was getting ready for battle.
Except this time, it was with himself.
There was no way he should have flirted with Kitty last night. It was as though somebody else had taken hold of him, let his guard down, until all that was left was the boy he’d once been. Hopeful, honest, vulnerable even. Not the world-weary man he’d become.
More than most he knew where vulnerability got him.
He’d been sitting in his running gear for hours, ready to leave just as soon as she walked through the door. He couldn’t even spend ten minutes cooped up with her in here. Didn’t trust himself to behave the way he knew he should. If he could put some distance between them, maybe he could control the attraction that kept drawing him toward her.
The puppy came padding over to him, sniffing at his hand. Adam had already washed the floor once that morning, grumbling at the dog as he did so, and was rewarded with a wagging tail and a hopeful nuzzle for his efforts.
Growing up, he’d never had a pet. His parents had been too busy when he was small, and when he was a teenager he’d been a boarder at school, only visiting home during vacations. That itinerant lifestyle was no place for a beloved dog. Then, of course, as an adult he’d been even worse, leaving the country at a moment’s notice, his work taking him all over the world. These past few months had been the first time he’d settled down in one place for any amount of time, and only now was it dawning on him just how lonely a lifestyle he’d made for himself.
The puppy started panting, his tongue lolling as he came to a stop. Adam reached out to pet him, running a hand down his thick, curly fur, and the puppy breathed out a contented sigh. The next moment his back stiffened, his ears turning up as if on high alert. Running to the door, he barked loudly at the dark wood, his tail wagging.
It came as no surprise to Adam when there was a soft knock on the door. He tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair, pushed himself up to standing and then strode across the wooden floor. His heart was beating furiously by the time he reached the entranceway, and he had to take a deep breath before reaching out to open the latch.
Centre himself, that’s what he needed to do. She wasn’t anybody special, just a pretty British girl who’d taken his fancy. He’d faced bigger demons than her before and still come out alive.
His mouth went dry as soon as he opened the door. Kitty was standing on his porch, her blonde hair half-hidden beneath a red woollen cap, and a matching scarf wrapped warmly around her neck. She was carrying a box full of what looked like tinsel and ornaments, but the thing he really noticed was the huge grin on her face.
She looked so pleased to see him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so disarmed. Half of him wanted to scoop her up in his arms and swing her around the room, while the other half wanted to run far, far away, where he wouldn’t have to be entranced by her.
The second half won. He grabbed his running shoes, pulling them on while successfully avoiding her stare. Ignoring the gentleman inside him who wanted to take the box out of her hands and relieve her of her burden, he cleared his throat.
‘You only just caught me. I’m off out for my run.’ Did he sound nonchalant enough? Adam wasn’t sure.
‘Oh.’
Only a single syllable, yet he could hear every emotion contained within it. Disappointment, surprise, sadness. It made him feel even more of an asshole than he already did, but it also strengthened his resolve to avoid her. She didn’t deserve his mood swings.
‘Annie gave me this,’ she said, still holding the box. ‘She wants us to decorate the cabin.’
He felt even worse. ‘You can do it while I’m out. You’ll probably be gone before I get back, just be sure to slip the door on the latch and make certain the dog is inside. I don’t want to have to search for him in the snow.’
He felt, rather than saw, her flinch.
‘You’re not staying? Annie sent down some hot chocolate, too.’ Kitty pulled a flask from the box, lifting it in front of her like it was a prize. ‘Knowing Annie it will taste fabulous.’
Could she make him feel any worse?
He could take off his shoes right now. He could lift the flask out of her hands, grab a couple of mugs and pour out the sweet liquid, giving her a smile as they clinked their cups together. They could pull out the decorations, sharing laughter as he recounted tales of his childhood holidays, telling her the provenance of the old baubles that were sticking out of the box.
If he was any kind of a man, that’s exactly what he would do. But he wasn’t that man, and as sure as ice would melt in springtime, he knew she deserved more than that.
‘I’m not a big one for the holidays.’ He
couldn’t look at her face. ‘Decorate if you want, or don’t bother. I won’t tell Annie either way.’
With a shrug, he pulled open the door and turned to look at her one last time. Her expression of disappointment seared its way into his mind, imprinting itself like a brand.
Adam stepped out on the porch, closing the door behind him. He tried to wipe out the memory of her distress as he started to warm up his muscles. Jumping to the ground, not bothering to use the steps, he let the spikes in his shoes steady his gait. The run would do him good, make him forget about everything except the air in his lungs. He’d run faster, harder, further. Do whatever it took to erase her face from his memory.
To forget how she’d stared at him, her eyes wide, her pretty mouth open. The way her forehead creased as she still held tightly to the box was still so clear in his mind even when he’d crossed the wide-open space of the meadow and made it to the treeline.