“I know that look.” Nick smirked at me as he put his arm around my shoulder. “What are you upset about?”
“I’m not upset.” I pursed my lips. “It just would have been nice to have a little heads-up that your family friend was going to be here.”
“Ava.” Nick sighed exasperatedly. I hated the way he said my name like that, like I was overreacting and the one in the wrong.
“She’s more than that, isn’t she?” I narrowed my eyes at him, my frustration growing by the second. “You’ve slept with her.”
“Jesus, would you keep your voice down?” Nick leaned forward. “What has gotten into you?”
“Nothing has gotten into me. I’m just trying to figure out who she really is since I’m not really buying the whole family friend excuse. It’s an easy question: Have you had sex with Gina?”
Nick let out a heavy breath. “We dated, okay? But it was years ago. I didn’t think it was even worth mentioning.”
“So you lied to me about it instead?” I crossed my arms defensively over my chest. I wanted answers, and I felt like I deserved them. I had blindly trusted Nick in almost every aspect of my life yet he was still keeping secrets from me.
“Damn it, Ava.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I said she was a family friend because I didn’t want to get into anything in front of everyone. I am not doing this here. Can you just let it go?”
I frowned, unsure where his hostility was coming from, but it only made me more suspicious about who Gina really was to him. Would he get so damn defensive about an ex-girlfriend if she didn’t still mean something to him? He really had no right to be upset. He was the one who’d lied to me about who she really was. He was the one who hung on her every word, leaving me out of the conversation completely. He was the one who had a million opportunities to bring his ex-girlfriend up but hadn’t once.
“I’m going to the restroom.” I grabbed my purse and hightailed it into the house. I could feel his eyes searing into me the entire time. Not wanting to extend the confrontation inside, I ducked toward the bathroom, almost tripping over a woman on my way.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” I apologized, backing away and realizing it was Gina I had run into. If I had known, I probably wouldn’t have apologized.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s hard to see anything around that corner. I’ve run into people several times.” A wide grin spread across her face. Of course she had to throw in that she had been in Nick’s childhood home multiple times.
“Excuse me,” I said, trying to step around her and into the bathroom. I didn’t trust myself around her, and was already in trouble with Nick, so I’d better mind my manners and just leave.
“Wait!” She smiled tightly, reaching for my hand. “I have to see the ring, I have been hearing about it for months.”
I blushed as she held up Nick’s engagement ring and inspected it closely.
“Wow! It really is as beautiful as everyone says. Much bigger than the one he gave me.” She rolled her eyes, laughing.
“Um, I’m sorry, what?” I said, completely confused. Why would Nick give her a ring if they weren’t . . .
“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” She had a contented smirk on her face. “Probably not, it was silly, really. When we graduated, Nick proposed to me just before I went off to college. Heat of the moment, I suppose. Nothing like what he has with you.”
I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. All the wind had been sucked out of my lungs. Nick had proposed to her? My Nick, my husband, had asked her to marry him? The same man who had only moments ago claimed she was his family friend. If I stood in front of her much longer, I thought I might faint.
“It was lovely to meet you, Ava. I hope I’ll be getting an invitation to the wedding.” She smiled tightly before brushing past me.
I pressed my lips together, trying to gather myself. Part of me wanted to march right out there and let him have it. How could he neglect to tell me something as important as the fact he was engaged before? Whether or not our relationship started out as arranged, he still should have told me. If not then, then maybe when I agreed to marry him for real. When I betrayed my own family to support him.
Another part of me couldn’t bear the thought of facing him, though. He probably thought I was a complete fool, falling for all of his shit and never once questioning him. Maybe that’s exactly what I was.
I had to stop myself from spiraling. The last time I hadn’t given him a chance to explain himself, I’d gone off and gotten high, and I wasn’t going to let anything like that happen this time. I wasn’t going to run away, I was going to make him own up to keeping this from me after he’d promised no more secrets.
Nick
Ava disappeared into the house and I had half a mind to follow her. I knew she was frustrated, but I couldn’t get into the finer details right now. This was my brother’s graduation party and it really wasn’t the time or place.
A long time ago, Gina and I had been together. I even thought I wanted to marry her. But we were children, barely eighteen, and we had no idea what we really wanted. I had drunkenly proposed to her one night but called the entire thing off once I sobered up. It was stupid and immature, and that was why I had never brought it up to Ava. I hadn’t given Gina a second thought in ten years, and that was practically a lifetime ago.
I stood outside impatiently waiting for Ava to come back out. I fully expected her to come to her senses and apologize once she realized how irrational she was being. She hadn’t even given me two seconds to explain, just demanded details about my sex life in front of my entire family.
When I saw Gina slip out of the house with a smirk on her face, I got an uneasy feeling.
“Nick, hey! I was just looking for you.” She smiled and touched my shoulder softly. I moved away, frustrated she hadn’t taken the hint already. The entire time we had been here, I was trying to subtly show her I wasn’t interested, but apparently she wasn’t getting it.
“I was actually trying to find Ava, have you seen her?” I asked, my tone clipped. Gina had been back in my life fifteen minutes and was already causing issues. I could only imagine the scene that would come if Ava walked out and saw Gina caressing my arm like that.
“I just saw her by the bathroom, actually. Her ring is beautiful, by the way. I told her it was much bigger than the one you gave to me.” She giggled, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
“You told Ava about that?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
The innocent grin on her face told me she knew exactly what she was doing. “I figured you would have.” She shrugged. “You should tell a girl about all your previous engagements before you propose to her, you know. It’s only right.”
“Gina, we were engaged for thirteen hours and I was drunk the entire time. I never would have proposed to you if I had been sober,” I hissed, furious that she would take it upon herself to tell Ava something like that.
“Oh please.” She rolled her eyes. “You know we would have gotten married eventually. Once you came to your senses and settled down. Aren’t you marrying her for a treaty, anyway? That’s what I heard.”
I shoved my hand through my hair in frustration. “I’m not having this conversation with you, but if you must know, I am marrying her because I adore her and worship the ground she walks on. I have never loved anyone like I love Ava, and now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find her.”
I brushed past Gina and headed into the house.
“Ava?” I called impatiently. I didn’t want another second to go by with her believing Gina’s shit. I had to find her.
“Ava!” I called again, louder this time.
“I’m right here,” Ava said, peeking around the wall of the kitchen. She was standing next to my mother and a few of her friends.
My mom looked back at me in confusion. “Is everything okay, sweetie?”
“Everything is fine, Mom. But Ava and I actually have to get going.” I kissed h
er cheek, trying to disguise my anger as much as possible. I didn’t need my mother on my back about Ava and I having problems. “Thank you for a wonderful party.”
“Love you both.”
“We love you too.”
I grabbed Ava’s hand and we headed to the front door.
“Would you slow down? You’re being ridiculous.” Ava glared at me, jerking her hand back once we were outside.
“I’m being ridiculous?” I scoffed. “You’re the one who is jumping to conclusions.”
Ava chuckled. “I don’t think you can call it jumping to conclusions when I’m spot-on. She’s your ex-fiancé, Nick? Seriously?”
I rubbed my temples. “Can we just get home and have this discussion?”
“Whatever you want.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
It was a long and silent ride home from my parents’ house. I whipped into the garage and Ava was out of the car almost before we were stopped. Fury radiated off of both of us, each of us thinking the other was in the wrong. When we got inside, Ava made a beeline for our bedroom and slammed the door sharply. I followed close behind her, ready for whatever fight was about to ensue.
I turned the handle but it was locked.
“Ava, open the door. We need to talk.” I gritted my teeth.
“Nick, please, just leave me alone.” Her voice cracked on the other side.
“Open the damn door, Ava. I know you’re upset, and we need to talk,” I yelled, a little louder this time.
She didn’t answer but I could hear whimpering on the other side. Was she crying? This couldn’t go on any longer. I needed to get in there and make her understand the truth. I hated that she was this upset about some fabricated story Gina had told her.
“Ava, if you don’t open the fucking door I am going to break it down.” I tried to level my voice out as best I could.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Nick.”
I lowered my shoulder and barreled into the bedroom door. It didn’t open, but it shook with fury and I knew I could easily get it open in a few seconds.
I heard the handle jiggle on the other side and then it flew open. “Jesus, Nick. Have you completely lost your mind?”
“I told you to open the door or I’d break it down. I’m a man of my word.” I shrugged.
She rolled her eyes. “A man of your word.” She scoffed. “Right. I’m going to my sister’s for the night.”
She grabbed her jacket and slipped it on quickly.
“You’re not going anywhere. We need to talk about this.” I grabbed her arm more roughly than I intended, and she jerked away.
Things happened in slow motion after that. She pulled her arm back, causing her jacket to fall off her shoulder. A small packet fell out of it and to the ground, bouncing once before settling.
I bent down to pick it up, rolling the clear baggie filled with white powder over in my hand. There was no doubt in my mind what it was.
“Well, I guess we both have some explaining to do, don’t we?”
Chapter 33
Ava
The second the pouch of cocaine hit the floor, I was paralyzed. What . . . how . . . where had it even come from? I had promised Nick I would stop, and I hadn’t even thought about using since the day I made that promise, but how had a bag of cocaine wound up in my jacket pocket? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The day I had seen Jimmy outside the restaurant where I was meeting Nick! He had given it to me, just in case. And apparently I had forgotten all about it until this very moment.
“Nick, I—” I started, hoping to explain.
He cut me off abruptly. “Ava, do you remember what I said would happen if you started using again?” He narrowed his eyes at me harshly. Oh I remembered all right; he said he would make me go to rehab and that I would have no choice in the matter.
“I’m not using again,” I blurted. “I can explain this.”
Nick let out a sharp laugh. “Oh, you mean you want me to give you a chance to explain yourself before I fly off the handle and rush to judgment?” I knew exactly where he was heading with this. “Funny, because you didn’t give me the same courtesy back at my parents’.”
“Nick, you tried to pass her off as just a friend and then Gina told me you guys were engaged. What was I supposed to think?” My voice was shaky as I tried to justify what had happened back at his parents’. The cocaine had just wiped away any upper hand I’d had.
“I know exactly what she told you,” he hissed, his anger only growing. Angry Nick was terrifying, and even though I knew he would never hurt me, I was on edge. “I’d be happy to explain it all to you, but right now I’m more interested in this.” He held the bag up to me.
“Jimmy gave it to me a long time ago. I swear I’m not using. I haven’t had anything since that night at the club. I’ll take whatever test you want me to take.” I defended myself, sitting down on the bed. “See?” I reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out a business card. “He gave it to me the same day he told me about his dad’s job offer.”
“So what? You just keep it in your jacket for safekeeping? Fun memories?” Nick was livid, and I could tell he didn’t believe me.
“Honestly, I forgot it was even in there. I haven’t worn this jacket since the night we had dinner at my parents’. I should have just flushed it the first chance I got but I shoved it in my pocket and forgot all about it until right this second.” Even I knew how unbelievable my story was, but it was the truth.
“Sorry, but I’m having a tough time believing that,” Nick growled condescendingly.
“I’m your wife, Nick, shouldn’t that come with a little trust?” I was desperate to get him to believe me, not because I was worried about him putting me in treatment, but because I hated to disappoint him. I hated that he had doubts about my sobriety when I was working so hard at it. I would take a drug test if I had to, just so I could prove that I was clean. I was damn proud of how hard I’d been working and the progress I’d made, and I wasn’t about to let this derail everything.
“Ava, I do trust you, but that trust has to go both ways.”
He softened a little, which I welcomed. Angry Nick frazzled me in more ways than one, and I needed to be level headed to get through this conversation.
“If you tell me you aren’t using, I believe you. But you have to admit, hoarding cocaine in your jacket—the same jacket you were about to storm out of our house angry in—is a little hard to take,” he continued.
“Believe me, I know what this looks like, but I had no intention of using it. I was angry with you and leaving, you’re right, but using never even crossed my mind. It hasn’t since that night, and it’s because for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m in control of my own life. That’s because of you, and what you’ve given me. I never want to risk the life we’ve got. I love you and I can’t stand the thought of disappointing you, which is why it hurt me so badly to know you lied about Gina.” I wiped at the tears trickling down my cheek.
“Ava, I didn’t intentionally keep anything from you about Gina.” He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, we dated, but it was ten years ago. And it didn’t last very long at all. Our families were friends, and we were always together, so it just sort of happened. And the so-called engagement she’s talking about was a complete sham. On our graduation night, I got really, really drunk and I bought her a $200 ring and asked her to come to Boston with me for school. When I sobered up and realized what I had done, I ended everything. I didn’t tell you about it because it was a stupid mistake that I made when I was a kid. But I realize I should have, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. Even if it felt meaningless to me, I realize it would have been important for me to tell you something like that. I don’t blame you for leaving, but I think we both just need to work on trusting each other a little more.” Nick wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest.
I should have felt comforted by his embrace, bu
t I wasn’t. “Nick, are we crazy for thinking this could work? We’ve been married a week and we’re already not trusting each other and at each other’s throats.”
“Ava, look at me.” He put his finger to my chin and forced me to look up at him. “Do you know how much I love you?”
At first I didn’t say anything.
“Do you?” he pressed.
I nodded.
“Then I don’t want to ever hear you doubting our relationship again. We are not crazy for thinking this can work, we are doing the best we can. And it’s going to be a learning process, have you ever been married before?” He paused. “Look, there is no way for us to be good at this right off the bat. I wish I could say this will be the last time either of us has doubts or gets upset with the other, but I highly doubt it is. But that’s what loving someone is about, you work on the other things. Keep working on them until they are fixed, and you don’t run away.” He kissed my forehead. “We’ll figure this out, Ava. I promise you that.”
“I promise to work on talking things through with you instead of jumping to conclusions or running away. It’s my first instinct, it always has been. I’ve just never been in a relationship where things are handled in a healthy way. We never talked things out in my family, and it’s just taking some getting used to.”
“We’ll work on it together.” He smiled and gave me a tight hug.
We spent the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch. It wasn’t how we’d intended to spend our night, but it was lovely nonetheless. He had such a way of calming any worry or fear that I had. I would spend the rest of my life trying to figure out what I had done to deserve him. We both made a pact that night to work on trusting each other and not jump to conclusions. I knew he had never meant to hurt me by not telling me about Gina. In fact, he had been trying to protect me. And it felt great that he took my word for it about the drugs and believed me. That never would’ve happened at my house—it had always been more like guilty until proven innocent.
Ties That Bind Us Page 27