THE DEAL: Novel

by Bvlgari, M. F.

  After a while she doesn’t know for how long, she was able to calm down, rose slightly to turn around and sat on the towel to turn around when she saw JP was running on the beach. She lay down but continued with her head up trying to see if he was planning to run and passing by her on that side of the island, but no, he only ran half way instead of giving a complete round on the island, thus avoiding going near her.

  It was if he hasn’t any type of emotions, I hope he feels guilty for what he did to me last night. - She thought hopefully wishing he could get emotional with her.

  JP ran effortlessly along the beach like a gazelle on the prairie. He needed to channel his desire he felt for her practicing physical exercise to avoid feeling tempted as the night before. He was fully aware that he had acted as a perfect sucker to her that morning, but he felt it was necessary, he didn’t want her to like him, and he couldn’t like her, she was so not a woman for him. But at the same time, he didn’t want her to hate him.

  Why can’t she understand him?!

  He felt like a caged animal without knowing what to do. Carolina goes into the water and like it was usual, it was warm and appetizing to get into it and stayed there for hours. She took the dress out and let it fall by the edge in the dry and hot sand spot, ran into the water, plunged under water while swimming until she couldn’t hold her breath anymore, she wished she could stay under water forever, she didn’t want to rise to the surface and face the reality.

  It hurts too much.

  But at some point she was forced to come up for air. Continuing swimming on the surface until she felt completely worn out, returned to the towel to dry off, falling asleep for a couple hours, when she woke up she went looking for shells on the beach, walking around until dark. Carolina couldn’t get back to the cabin, she didn’t want to see him, and she couldn’t face him anymore. She knew she was all alone out there and no one would appear on the island to hurt her, but still didn’t like being alone in the dark all by her on, so she had to return nearer to the cabin.

  When she was approaching the cabin she couldn’t see him nearby and wished he was in some corner of the island, but when she stepped in the cabin and looked to the left side where the kitchen was, he was sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich he had prepared with a glass of cold milk.

  When he saw her asked as if was nothing:

  "So how was your day?"

  She replied without any emotion:

  "A real wonder"

  "I know you're upset with me, but I wanted you to know that yesterday was one of the best sexual experiences I've ever had, and look I have a vast experience with women. I hope you enjoyed it as well."

  "It was nice ..."

  He looked at her, searching their eyes to meet, but she ignored his gaze. He smiled slightly finding it funny having the confirmation of what he already knew.

  "Don’t be mad at me, you know we can’t have a relationship"

  "I know"

  She said continuing to ignore him as much as possible without feeling strong enough to show any kind of emotion. She didn’t want to talk to him, but didn’t want to ignore him to the point he could think that she had given too much importance to what had happened. Carolina went to the bathroom, had a quick shower, changed clothes, grabbed the small summer blanket that JP must had bring it back to the room and went back to the kitchen taking a piece of fruit and back out, going to sit outside on the beach bed intending to spend the night there. Secretly she hoped he was coming after her, she was hoping and imagining that after dawn he could change into the lover and caring man he had been the night before, but he didn’t.

  Taken a deep breath, Carolina closed her eyes for a few minutes opening them again looking at the clear sky and at the stars, she could see clearly the moon and it was beginning to reflect in the sea leaving a trace with of blue neon light and when the waves crashed softly at the beach leaving a blue neon trail on the beach while the rest of the blue neon continued on slow motion as engaging a dance on top of the water.

  The show was absolutely magnificent, she was delighted enjoying the beauty of nature and sad at the same time by not having anyone to share with. She remembered having seen some time ago in a scientific channel this kind of phenomenon called bioluminescence. She knew they were microscopic creatures that produced their own light to protect themselves from predators when the blue neon lights is activated when they felt threatened. She was trying to remember where in the world happened this type of phenomenon.

  Would it be in Asia? Am I somewhere in Asia? – Trying to understand in what part of the world she was stuck. Without being able to resist the temptation she rose from the beach bed and walked to the beach where the waves died, set her foot in the bright neon blue to understand what feeling would it provoke, leaving her feet with blue fluorescent.

  It felt only like a little lightly tingle where she had the blue neon on her feet, nothing more. She walked along the beach leaving fluorescent footprints when the footsteps faded, she returned to get her feet wet again, returning to repeat the process playing as a child until she got bored. Returning to bed at the beach, she sat in bed, ate the apple slowly continuing to enjoy the view, laying down, and closed her eyes to concentrate on the noise of the sea and all around her.

  She slept soundly until morning as she was so tired from the day before.

  Day 4

  In the morning when she woke up and had the summer blanket over her, most likely during the night she felt cold and didn’t even notice that she had pulled the blanket over her. She knew it was early and she was tired of being there alone, she was tired of being there with him and with that entire uncomfortable situation for both.

  "Good morning my dear"

  Said JP appearing beside her, surprising her completely, he had a plate with strawberry jam toasts, black coffee and fresh orange juice for her.

  "Don’t dear me! Thank you for having brought breakfast to bed, but I prefer to prepare my own"

  She said without caring about her words going out, clearly giving out she was on the defensive with him. He knew she was angry with him, he remained calm.

  "Technically I didn’t brought breakfast to bed, because this bed is in the beach and you shouldn’t overnight here.

  Yesterday I came here to talk with you for a little bit, but you were already asleep.”

  He struggled to say the words and Carolina was aware of it, she remained in silence giving him time to say what he wanted to say.

  “I wanted to apologize for my nasty behaviour, I didn’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I want, is to hurt you. Please forgive me because I am such a dumb ass”

  She was speechless because she never thought that he could admit that he had behaved so low with her. She was not sure if she should forgive him, at least not yet. She needed time to think about it. Remaining in silence she only smiled at him.

  “Last night when I came here, there was along the beach a beautiful spectacle with the moon and the neon blue light reflecting on the waves that was a magnificent sight to enjoy. I had no idea that there was something so beautiful in Mother Nature to observe, I never saw something so magnificent...I wanted to wake you up to see it, but didn’t know if I should, you were so soundly sleeping."

  He said quietly looking at her.

  "It's called bioluminescence”

  She said it was obvious he didn’t know what it was, she continued.

  “Bioluminescence is microorganisms which when they feel threatened they produce their own blue neon light, to protect themselves from predators"

  She said without looking at him. He was pleasantly surprised that she knew the answer to the mystery of that wonderful spectacle, but he didn’t show.

  She continues:

  "Look there is no need to talk, because there is nothing to talk about and what we talked about was already more than enough"

  She said turning her back in an attempt to end the conversation there and for him to get away from her. But he isn�
��t going anywhere as he stays sited on the beach bed beside her, he needed the heavy air between them to go away, so he insisted:

  "You look to much stressed to me, and I sincerely apologize to seduce you and that we had the most spectacular sex the other night.

  If you don’t want to repeat I promise it won’t happen again. I'm not the monster you think I am. We can be just friends, if that’s what you want"

  Carolina muttered whispering, without giving him an answer.

  He doesn’t give up and continues:

  "To prove that I can be just your friend, I will make you a massage and it's just a massage! At least that way you stay less stressed"

  She ignored him and continued lying turned back to him.

  If he thinks that one day he can treat me like a dog and the next day he comes around quietly waiting for me to fall back in his arms, he is sorely mistaken. - Thought Carolina trying to be strong and not succumb to the temptation.

  He didn’t give up, even being ignored by her. Back to the cabin, he went to get oil for a massage from the bathroom. When she realizes that he’s gone, she sits and gives a few bites on toast with strawberry jam, alternating sipping coffee.

  He remembered that I like strawberry jam on my toast - she thought - knowing that, my toast tastes even better.

  He returned to her side, she was taking an orange juice sip, sitting next to her on the beach bed.

  "Take the dress off and you can leave the bikini if you want, you can also take it off it's nothing that I hadn’t already seen.”

  At same time he blinked his eye at her.

  “You have my word that I will not ask to have sex"

  He looked almost sincere to her. She was pretty sure he was staying there to piss her off until he gets what he wanted. She straps the dress taking a deep breath, staying with the bikini on, lying back to him on the bed, taking the position to receive the massage. He sits on top of her legs next to her ass touching skin on skin causing in her the usual shivering through her body.

  Why does he have always this effect on me?!

  Trying to prepare mentally for the massage that she was about to receive. He feels her body shudder and asks trying to sound casual:

  "Are you alright?!"

  "I'm fine, you can start"

  He puts a generous portion of oil on his hands, rubbing his hands against each other with the oil, beginning to massage her shoulders. His hands coved in oil, rubbing her it was a perfect wake up, as his hands came down and climbed her back, they awaken the will to want Carolina again. Ignoring the desire he was feeling for her, he tried to focus on the massage, but he can’t ignore getting an erection against her skin. She felt him, and was afraid where everything would end up, she tried to turn with him sitting on top of her, but it was not an easy task, she needed to end this joke immediately because it was obvious he was already preparing to seduce her again.

  JP realizing she wanted him to stop and get out, he said trying to comforting her:

  "Please relax, let me finish the massage, let’s get in a more comfortable position"

  Trying to hold her with his hands, pushing her gently to lie down again and continue to receive the massage.

  "How do you think I can relax if I feel you hard against me and ready for sex? Let's finish the massage now"

  "I know, I am full of desire for you, but I'm a man of my word and I know how to control myself. So relax and let me continue the massage"

  "And on top you are very bossy, everything needs to be always at your way, sometimes you can be really annoying you know that don’t you?"

  She said to him in an exasperated tone.

  "I told you that I am not a mild man, I think you know that by now, and especially when we have sex. Yes I admit I am dominant in everything"

  While restarting to massage her, leading his hands around her neck and down and then rising with open hands rubbing gently with the fingertips on the edge of her breasts, making her shiver. For her to divert attention from his ingenious and wise hands she continued to talk to him:

  "Can I ask you a question?"

  "Sure"

  "I am still intrigued when you told me that you could see me only as a sex object, my question is: Why?"

  He stopped massaging her, she thought he will go away and the conversation ends right there. Instead he turns her around too skilfully underneath him, putting more oil in his hands and continues to massage her facing him, looking eyes in the eyes. He starts again in the shoulders, arms, shoulders, he passes over her breasts.

  "Can I get the bikini off?"

  "No"

  "Okay"

  While continuing massaging her stomach and down to her belly, rising laterally under her arms.

  "So how can I explain this without hurting your feelings?"

  He said sounding genuinely measure the right words.

  "Seeing a woman as a sexual object, is to use a woman just to satisfy me sexually, it’s to have a woman in my bed as quickly as possible and when I achieve my goal move on to a new conquest. A woman which is a sexual object is an easy woman who has sex on the first date with any man, and if she has with one, we man, think she has sex with every man she meets, it’s normal a woman like that to go with all men that appears ahead her and at least that's how men think.

  A sexual object is not a woman to have a relationship with, it is rather to take moments of pleasure and move to the next one. This is the easiest and most direct way I can explain, this is what I think is a sex object woman"

  She holds his arms to grab his attention to what she was going to say, though she already knew the answer, she just needed to hear from him.

  "So I'm a sex object just because we had sex on the first date?"

  "Well, you fitted perfectly in that profile at the time"

  "Let me try to understand, but what about you?! I don’t think women are fondly of you if they want to have a relationship with you knowing your past with women? You had sex on the first date as well, you do it all the time, and so what's the difference? Women have sexual fantasies as well because women want to have sex as men do. Women should think of you as a sexual object also don’t they?"

  He bursts out laughing puts his hands on top of his legs, bending a bit to her, for a moment she thinks he will kiss her, but it stops halfway and says:

  "A woman who has sex on the first date is considered inappropriate for a serious relationship let alone to get marry with. A man who is with many women is considered a stud. It was the society who stipulated this way, and sweetie it isn’t you that you will change that now"

  "So you think I'm going to bed with all men I meet? That I have sex with all of them on the first date?!"

  She asks curious to know his answer.

  "When we first met I got this idea yes. To be honest, any man would think the same. But now, I’m no longer sure about it"

  Carolina shakes her head, she didn’t believe what she was hearing, but at the same time she had heard from him so much barbarity, which didn’t bother her anymore. Unable to control herself and to ease the serious conversation, she began slowly to take her hands to touch his body, with a look of who will commit a cruel act, she sticks her fingers between his ribs to tickle him, forcing him to squirm surprising him. But he is a strong man and quickly regains control of the situation holding her wrists.

  "Now I am the one who's curious, with how many men did you slept with?"

  Carolina was suspicious about that question, if she needed to say a number, she didn’t know if she should give him a number, she didn’t know what number he wanted to hear, she decides to tell an approximate number.

  "About 10"

  "You slept only with 10 men?!"

  He said surprised.

  "More or less yes, why?" she says.

  She realizes that he was surprised that she had not slept with everyone she met.

  "And how many women have you slept with?"

  "Before my relationship of 15 years, it must have been more than
100 women. After the relationship with the passion of my life I became suicidal after we finished, and slept already with 20 women or so, I don’t really know, I stopped counting already"

  She looked at him facing him incredulously because she knew he had many women, but wow, that was too many.

  "They might need to queue at your door, right?"

  No wonder he was so good in bed and knew how to please a woman, he hadn’t lack of training. He just stands there smiling and remaining in silent, with his chest out like a proud soldier coming from the war.

  But if a woman has the same experience as he, she is considered a prostitute, oh it’s so frustrating.

  She was absorbed in her thoughts, suddenly she feels his lips on her lips, instinctively she starts to pull him away, but he continued kissing her on the face and neck.

  "Stop" she begged.

  "Why? Don’t you like it? I know you do as much as I do"

  "That's not it, is that after you say that I am easy, and I'm just a sex object, lowering me down, you use me out and the minute after you are kiss me if it was nothing. But then when you fancy me again, you turn up as nothing happened and expect me to be always at your disposal. I’m not your toy!"

  "I'm seriously endeavoured to change my mind concerning you, I will try at first to see you as a friend. Give your new friend here a little of credit"

  "I don’t think that's what you're asking me"

  She told him seriously.

  He comes close to her to kiss her, staying with his lips inches away from her lips waiting to for her to take the next move. She gives him a quick kiss on the lips and tries to get out away from him. He let her go, she rises:

  "I'll take a shower, change clothes and I’ll be back soon"

  Taking the rest of the breakfast back to the kitchen, and went for a shower.

  While she was under the shower she was thinking about all they had discussed minutes ago. She wanted him to see her as a woman, but she couldn’t figure out how to do it. She didn’t know how to change the way his was thinking about her, or how to show him that she was a woman who was worth to meet and be with. She was hoping they had forward one step, but whenever she thinks they are giving one step further, they end up having two steps back. It’s a constant emotional roller coaster she didn’t know where the limit nor knew if she could handle the journey, if there was any.