On his profile was only mention that he wanted to marry, never mention the desire of having children. She wanted to get married but having children was no longer an option for her, she didn’t want more children and she couldn’t have children even if she wanted too.
If we continue to see each other I need to tell him that I am not able to give him kids.
Questioning and already suffering in anticipation. Doubts in Carolina head began to form in a whirlwind, giving her a huge headache. As he entered her apartment she went straight to the bedroom, she took a quick shower and slipped into bed but she was unable to sleep. The thought didn’t leave her and she kept all night thinking
And if he doesn’t wants me only because I can’t give him the children he wants so badly?
Second Chances
Carolina barely slept at night and in the morning when she finally managed to fall asleep, she dreamed of JP. She dreamed she was married with JP they were deeply in love they were walking along Central Park in New York and the twins playing in front of them. JP bought ice cream for all, JP and Carolina sat in a bench and the twins kept playing around them. When they finished the ice cream they walked home. Carolina found out that home was just about the street opposite Central Park, it was a very cosy apartment on the top floor, with a magnificent view over Central Park. When Carolina entered the apartment with JP and the kids they had a butler waiting for them, and let them know that they had the jet ready and everything was packed for their trip to Bahamas. She wakes up shuddering from the dream, tormented with the idea that she can’t have children and to JP is important to have them.
Getting out of bed, she stands up disoriented with the door bell ringing. Going through the hall from the rooms, she noticed that her sons have already left for college while she went open the door and see’s a huge bouquet with 24 velvet red roses and a card. Waiting behind the bouquet is the delivery boy with a grin from ear to ear watching her with the hair all dishevelled and with a zombie face.
She signs the delivery, gives him a tip and closes the door behind her and she sits on the couch and reads the card:
12 Roses are the hours we met
and the other 12 are the hours I'll have to wait to see you again.
Yesterday was a very special night and I hope it's the beginning of many others.
Do you accept dinner with me tonight?
J.P. Bennett
When she finishes reading the card, smiles and looks for the time on the phone, it was now 9 am, she felt tired, but had to get ready for work. She called JP to thank him for the flowers and to say that she accept dinner with him.
Today Carolina was going to be working from home, she worked the best she could, because she could barely concentrate when finally stopped remembered that she hadn’t breakfast, as it was almost noon, she prepared a light meal. After lunch, she feels suddenly very tired and decides to return to the bedroom to rest a few hours. She still had work to do and she needed to give Tess a call, Tess called Carolina already twice and Carolina hadn’t returned her calls, only because she was very busy and now she was very tired, Carolina would call her definitely later.
She managed to rest a couple of hours, after resting she went back to work, making some work calls and when she finish the urgent ones, she left all others to do the next day at the office. Now was time to call Tess, she dialled Tess number. When Tess picked up Carolina’s call, Tess said:
"Finally Carolina! I was getting worried about you. Are you alright? Tell me about last night, how did it go?"
Tess asked impatiently.
"It went unexpectedly well”
Start Carolina to tell her, not all but what she wanted and needed to know.
“In fact I think you did a great job, it seems to be exactly the kind of man I'm looking for, he was laser target picked up for me."
"Wow Carolina. I’m so glad to hear that. I knew you would like him, because when you told me what type of man you were looking for and your goals in life, it could only be this man for you because he is for certain the right man for you. Tell me details, did you kissed?"
"We kissed on the lips when we were about to say goodbye. I received this morning a bouquet with beautiful flowers with an invitation for dinner tonight, we had Theatre scheduled but now we will have dinner again"
"That is excellent news Carolina, I’m so happy for you, honestly I am.
Please don’t forget to make the next step into intimacy with him when you feel only that he has some sort of feelings for you and that he just wants you. Please don’t forget to discuss monogamy first, it’s important to know that you are serious about a relationship and only for each other"
"Don’t worry I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for everything Tess, you did a great job"
Carolina hung up the phone and was about to get ready for dinner with JP.
With her JP!
When she was almost ready, her sons arrived from university, they were amazed and astonished to see their mother today, she looked different she had a radiant look, the twinkle in her eyes was back. She told them she was going out for dinner and they came close to her and gave her a hug wishing her well. They said she didn’t need to worry about them, they would make dinner for them or order take away. JP called her to inform her that he would pick her up at 8pm and as promised at 8pm sharp he was downstairs waiting for her.
Carolina came down and saw that he had his black jeep range rover with dark greenish windows. When JP saw Carolina coming out from the building he goes out of the jeep, kisses her on the cheek and opened the door for her to enter, Carolina surprised by his chivalry, she smiles and enters the jeep. They went dining in a restaurant, at roof top of a building in central London and it was a lovely garden with a beautiful view over the city. The night was cold, but there were special warm lights to warm up while they were having dinner outside. There was soft background music, quiet and very romantic.
The decor was beautiful with flowers of various colours and candles placed all around and there was no one except them on the roof leading Carolina wondering whether he would have booked the terrace just for them. She was absolutely delighted with the place, saying sincerely to him:
"This place is amazing and beautiful I didn’t know that it existed"
"It doesn’t exist, it’s only made for special people" confided JP grabbing her hand, pulling her to him starting to dance with her, surprising her with a kiss on her lips. Their lips touched, making Carolina’s body shuddered, their tongues met and she felt a chill go through her belly. They felt the chemistry between them going through their bodies and inevitably she feels his erection against her belly, he wanted her too. It was like relive every second of her dream, but now it was different, he wanted to know her and would wait for her because he knew she was a special woman.
After the first kiss, they looked at each other a moment in the eyes, smiled at each other and without saying a word he leads her by the hand to the table. They sat at a table for two and after the impact of the kiss has passed, they started a lively conversation throughout dinner. When they finish dinner JP said again that he was ready for love, to marry and have a family, which was the only thing that was lacking in his life to feel full happiness.
Hearing everything all over again, his desire to have a family was uncomfortable for her, it was obvious that he was ready for a serious relationship, so serious that included marriage and having children in a near future. He is ready for children since yesterday. But she felt sad because she knew she could no longer give him children. She didn’t know if she tells him that she isn’t able to give him children if he continues interested in her, her mind became a whirl of thoughts.
Should I say now that I can’t have children? Should I wait longer to see if the relationship will even go forward?
Could he love me and if he loved me would he forget that he wants to have children?
She felt relieved that he cut her thoughts saying he had a surprise for her. Rising from the table
he took her again by the hand, she thought he was going to kiss her again but no, hand in hand they walked along the roof turning the corner and then the terrace panorama was completely different, although the music continued to play in the background, this part of the roof looked like it had sprung from spring to winter, here the terrace was decorated with lighted trees giving the illusion that they were with snow, and a few seconds after they stopped, artificial snow begins to fall from the sky.
Carolina looked at the sky and the snow hit her in the face, wetting her, she raises her hand in the air and smirked like a girl and he loved seeing her so girly. He pulled her to him to start dancing, kissing her, when they end the long kiss he tells her looking in her eyes:
"I know it's early, but I feel I've known you for a lifetime, so I want to ask you if you want to date me? Just me and you, starting to give all of us for a serious relationship what do you say?"
She looks at him momentarily wondering to herself if he was playing with her, but he continued with those intense blue eyes staring at her with a face that was genuinely waiting for response.
"Of course I accept it, I feel the same. But I need to tell you something..."
Unable to continue to talk everything at once, she paused for a moment and he couldn’t avoid asking before she could continue.
"What do you need to tell me?! Is there anyone in your life?"
"No no. That's not it. It’s..."
"You don’t like me? You don’t feel chemistry like I feel when I’m with you? I would swear that the attraction was mutual..."
"Yes it is I feel a huge attraction for you. Is not that…"
"So?"
"It's that I can no longer have children"
"How?! Don’t you have already two boys?!"
"Yes, but I made a surgical sterilization a few months ago and I can no longer get pregnant"
After he heard that words coming from her, he went silent, continuing dancing with her. He leaned his head on her head, pressing her against him making her feel his unique smell, the same smell she remembered so well. When the song ended, he stopped dancing and said it was getting late and had an important meeting in the morning.
His mood changed, he was no longer smiling and affectionate with her, it was as if he had closed in a shell and his facial expression was now stiff and distant. When they reached Carolina’s home, they took their said goodbye with a brief kiss on the lips, and he walked away without saying anything else or make any comment to what Carolina had confess to him. Carolina didn’t know what to do or what say to him, so she chose to stay silent. Now she wondered if she did the right thing telling him the truth, but it they would move to a relationship he needed to know, she didn’t want secrets between them.
She wanted a real relationship based on truth and not in omissions and lies. Tired and confused without knowing what to think she went to bed without having more news from JP.
In the next day when she was going to work, she receives a message from JP:
"The news that you gave me yesterday hit me like an arrow trespassing my heart back and forth, and I was not at all prepared to hear what you told me. From the first moment I saw you I thought you were perfect and I was sure you'd be the mother of my children. I'll have to go back with my word about dating. I need a woman who wants and can have children with me. I'm sorry and goodbye"
Reading the message, she couldn’t believe it because he didn’t even considered the option of a relationship without babies. Carolina starts to feel unwell, she arrived at work and she couldn’t hear anyone, she starts to feel dizzy and faint at the office, when she came to herself again her colleagues were holding her on the floor trying to give her some water. They asked if she wanted to go to the hospital, but instead she said to them to call a taxi she would go home and rest.
She arrives home and with her little strength left she drag herself to bed, turned the phone off, took one sleeping pill and sleep the whole day. By the end of the day she wakes up feeling the same way, sad, miserable and about to faint at any moment. She couldn’t believe that JP left her again, now it wasn’t because she had sex with him on the first date it was because she couldn’t give him children. This was the most ironic situation she had ever in her life. Turning the phone on again, because she was worried about her sons, but the only missed calls and messages were from Tess and JP.
What do they want now?!
Carolina wondered continuing with a terrible headache.
She see’s all the messages.
Message from Tess: Carolina please call me I need to talk to you it’s regarding JP.
Message from JP: I spoke with Tess I need to talk to you urgently, please call me or send me a message.
She decides to call Tess first to know what is happen.
“Hi Tess, this is Carolina, I saw your calls and your message, is everything alright?”
Asks her to Tess when she picks the phone.
“Hi Carolina, I spoke this morning with JP, he called me and was very upset argue with me that I should know that you couldn’t have children anymore. I need to know can’t you have kids.”
She had a terrible pain in her head and going that again was too much right now for Carolina, but she thought she needed to put everything behind her as soon as possible.
“Yes, I can’t have children anymore because I had a surgical sterilization months ago.”
“But can it be reversible?!”
“The doctor mention it was possible yes”
“If your relationship with JP could lead into marriage could you consider reverse the surgery to have children? In vitro fertilization it’s a possibility as well, isn’t?!”
“Tess, I never considered having kids again, JP caught me completely off guard, but if having kids for him it’s important, I can consider having kids with him. Now that you put some solutions on the table it’s just questioning him if he is alright with that.”
“That’s great Carolina, let me call him and I’ll call you back”
“Okay”
Carolina was exhausted of that entire situation and she went back to bed and turned TV on with her phone next to her to abstract her a little bit from all but it was impossible, until she met JP in real life she never thought about considering having kids again, and if she didn’t had seen the future with JP in her dream with the twins, she would never agree to have kids again, but she had seen how happy she made JP when he discover he was about to be a daddy and how happy they were all together. Now it’s just a question to know if JP will agree on waiting and go through all the process of dating until they decide what option they will take to have babies. While she was deep in her thoughts the phone rings and it was Tess again:
“Carolina I have news for you, before I called JP I called a doctor friend of mine to ask them about all the possibilities to have children after surgical sterilization, and there is always possible in one way or another because none of the organs are damaged in any way. I called JP and he is okay to try alternative methods to have babies if the reverse surgery doesn’t work.”
Carolina tears started to fall down her face uncontrollably. She managed to say to Tess only:
“Thanks Tess”
After a while Carolina was able to calm down and now she knows that he is open to have children in any way with any method leaving Carolina much more at ease.
The phone rang again, it was JP she blows her nose before picking up the phone:
“Hi Carolina, I’m so sorry to put you through all this, but after the news you gave me I thought it was a definitive situation, but we can solve it in any other way.
Just the thought of not being able to have you in my life it tears my heart apart.
I couldn’t sleep all night and in the morning after I’ve sent you that message, which I regret deeply, I spoke with Tess and she explained that in most cases surgeries could be reversible and my hopes lit again.”
He continues speaking while she only listens to him:
“I
don’t know why, but I feel that you are the woman of my life and I can’t give up on you just like that, I know that you can give me all what I need.
My dear let me compensate you from all the harm I caused you, let’s go for a long weekend together, what do you think about Portofino in Italy, there is a wonderful hotel with a beautiful sea view where we can enjoy each other and talk calmly about everything. What do you think?”
Carolina took a moment to be able to start talking, she wanted him, he wasn’t give up on her, and she wouldn’t give up on him.
“Yes I agree we need to talk about everything.”
“That’s great, I’m so happy that you aren’t mad at me. What do you think about this weekend?”
“Good idea but you want to go this weekend?! Tomorrow is Friday already”
“Pack your bags I’ll be at your apartment tomorrow at 8am. Sleep tight my dear”
And he hang up leaving Carolina looking at the phone, she felt so relieved that they could manage to go ahead and didn’t need to split.
There are really second chances in life. - She thought happy with life.
As promised JP picked Carolina the next morning, when he saw her coming out of the building he went out of the taxi to help her with her luggage, he arrived in front of her hugged and give her a sweet and long kiss. Helping her with the luggage to the taxi and they went to city airport for a private flight to the international airport in Genova, Italy and from there they would have a private driver waiting to take them to Belmond Hotel. Carolina went all way to the airport in JP’s arms, he was holding her tight and she knew he would hold her always like that.
When they arrived at the City airport and Carolina enters in the private jet she remembers again of her dream, how everything was so similar to her dream, it was astonish, the private jet was looking very similar to the one in her dream. In the air they were visible tired and JP fall asleep holding Carolina in his arms and so did Carolina, it was obvious both hadn’t slept much the night before but they weren’t admitting to each other. They decided to have a serious talk only upon they arrive and were comfortably installed at the hotel in Portofino, they had 4 full days only for each other. Knowing they were destined to be together, they were decided to make it work, because they knew they would be very happy together.
THE DEAL: Novel Page 31