‘I have also heard, O king,’ the girl continued, ‘that a witty man once went to the market and bought a boy who was being offered for sale, and whom he then took home, telling his wife to look after him,’ AND SHE WENT ON:
One day, after the boy had been living there for some time, the man told his wife to go out the next day to enjoy herself and relax in the garden, which she gladly agreed to do. The boy heard that, and that night he prepared food as well as collecting drink, dessert and fruit. He went off to the garden and put the food under one tree, the drink under another and the fruit and nuts under a third on the path that his master’s wife would take. The next morning, his master told him to accompany his mistress to the garden and gave orders that what food, drink and fruit they might need should be provided.
The lady came out and, after mounting her horse, she went to the garden escorted by the boy. When they got there, a crow cawed and the page said: ‘That is right.’ ‘Do you understand what the crow says?’ asked the lady, and when he said that he did and she asked what it was, he told her that it was telling them: ‘There is food under this tree. Come and eat it.’ ‘I see that you do understand the language of birds,’ she said. ‘Yes,’ he replied, and she went to the tree where she found food prepared, which they proceeded to eat. This made a great impression on her because she believed that he really did know what the crow had been saying, and when, after their meal, it cawed again as they were looking round the garden and the page again said: ‘That is right,’ she asked what it was saying. This time he told her: ‘My lady, it says that under such-and-such a tree there is a jug of water flavoured with musk as well as some old wine.’ The two of them went there, and when they found this, it increased her astonishment and added to her admiration for the boy. She sat there drinking with him and when they walked further into the garden and the crow cawed a third time, she asked him what it meant this time, as again he had said: ‘That is right.’ ‘It is saying that under such-and-such a tree are fruits and dessert,’ he told her, and when they went to the tree, that was what they found. When they had eaten and walked further on, the crow cawed again and the boy picked up a stone, which he threw at it. ‘Why are you trying to hit the crow and what did it say?’ she asked. ‘My lady,’ he replied, ‘it was something I cannot repeat to you.’ ‘Say it and don’t be shy,’ she told him, ‘for there are no obstacles to hinder us.’ He kept on refusing and she continued to insist, until eventually she swore that he must tell her. Then he said: ‘The crow was telling me: “Do with your mistress what her husband does with her.” On hearing this, she laughed so much that she fell over and said: ‘This is an easy matter and I can’t refuse you.’ She went towards a tree, spread a rug beneath it and called the page to come and satisfy her.
Suddenly the page noticed his master looking at him from behind and calling to ask why his mistress was lying there crying. ‘She had what was almost a fatal fall from a tree,’ the boy told him, ‘and it was only the Glorious and Exalted God Who restored her to you. She has been lying here for some time to recover.’ When the lady saw her husband standing over her, she got up pretending to be injured and in pain, exclaiming: ‘Oh my back, oh my ribs! Come to me, my friends, for there is no life left in me!’ Her startled husband told the boy to fetch the horse for his mistress and help her to mount, after which he held one of the stirrups while the boy held the other, saying all the while: ‘May God cure you and restore you to health.’
‘This, O king, is an example of the treacherous wiles of men,’ the girl said, ‘so do not let your viziers stop you from coming to my aid and avenging me.’ She then burst into tears, and when the king saw this, she being his favourite slave girl, he renewed the order for his son’s execution. It was then that the sixth vizier came in and, after having kissed the ground before him, he said: ‘May God grant glory to the king; I am here to advise you in all sincerity to delay in the matter of your son…’
Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the five hundred and ninety-third night, SHE CONTINUED:
I have heard, O fortunate king, that the sixth vizier advised the king: ‘Delay the execution of your son, for falsehood is like smoke, while truth is firmly buttressed, and the light of truth dispels the darkness of lies. You must realize how great is the deceitfulness of women, for Almighty God says in His glorious book: “The guile of women is great.”* I have heard a story of how a woman played a trick on a number of state officials that had never been known before.’ ‘How was that?’ asked the king, and THE VIZIER SAID:
There was once a merchant’s daughter with a husband who was often away on his travels. Once her husband went to a distant land and was away so long that, finding it hard to bear, she fell in love with an elegant young man of merchant stock, who loved her as she loved him. Her lover had a dispute with a man who brought a complaint against him to the wali of the city, who put him in prison. When the merchant’s wife heard of this she was distraught, and so, putting on her finest clothes, she went to the wali’s house. She greeted him and passed him a note in which she had written: ‘The man whom you are holding in prison is my brother, who had a dispute with So-and-So. The people who bore witness against him were lying and he is being held unjustly. There is no one else who can intervene for me or take my part except for him, and I ask you in your kindness to release him.’
The wali read the note, and when he looked at the woman he fell in love with her. ‘Go into the house,’ he told her, ‘and I shall have him brought before me and then send for you to take him away.’ ‘Master,’ she said, ‘I have no helper apart from Almighty God. I am a stranger here and I cannot go into anyone’s house.’ ‘I shall not release him for you until you do that, so that I can have my way with you.’ ‘If that is what you want,’ she told him, ‘you must come to my house, stay there, and sleep and rest for the whole day.’ He asked where her house was, and when she had told him, she went out, leaving him in a state of distraction. She then went to the qadi of the city. ‘My lord, the qadi,’ she addressed him, and when he had answered, she went on: ‘Please look into my affair, and Almighty God will reward you.’ ‘Who has wronged you?’ he asked, and she told him: ‘Sir, I have a brother, my one and only relative, and it is because of him that I have had to come to you. The wali has put him in prison and people have given false evidence against him to say that he is a wrongdoer. I am asking to you intercede for me with the wali.’ The qadi, for his part, fell in love at the sight of her and told her to go into his house with his slave girls to rest there for a while with him. He promised to send a message to tell the wali to release her brother, and added that, if he knew how much her brother owed, he would pay it himself in order to have his way with her, so impressed was he by how well she had spoken. ‘If you do things like this, then how can we blame others?’ she asked. ‘If you won’t go in, then go about your business,’ he told her, and she replied: ‘If that is what you want, master, then it would be less conspicuous and better for you to come to me in my own house. In yours there are slave girls and eunuchs, as well as people coming and going. I am a woman who knows nothing about that kind of thing, but necessity compels.’ He asked where she lived and, after telling him, she fixed a rendezvous with him on the day that she had promised to meet the wali.
After she had left the qadi, she approached the vizier and presented him with a complaint about the desperate situation of her brother in the wali’s prison. The vizier tried to seduce her, promising that if he could have his way with her, he would have her brother freed. ‘If that is what you want,’ she told him, ‘then come to me, for this will give us better shelter. It is not far away and you know that we women need to be clean and tidy.’ When he asked, she told him where she lived and fixed an appointment for him on the same day as the others. She then left him and approached the king of the city, to whom she presented the same petition, asking him to have her brother freed. ‘Who has imprisoned him?’ asked the king. She told him that
it was the wali, and when he heard her speaking, the arrows of love pierced his heart and he told her to go into the palace with him so that he might send a message to the wali to have her brother released. ‘Your majesty,’ she said, ‘it is easy for you to do this whether I want it or not. If you do want me, that is my good fortune, but were you to condescend to come to my house, that would be an honour for me, as the poet has said:
My companions, have you seen or heard
That I was visited by one of such nobility?’
The king agreed to her suggestion and was told to come to her house, which she described for him, on the same day as the others.
Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the five hundred and ninety-fourth night, SHE CONTINUED:
I have heard, O fortunate king, that the woman agreed to the king’s proposal, told him where her house was, and arranged for him to come on the same day as the wali, the qadi and the vizier. THE SIXTH VIZIER WENT ON:
Her next visit was to a carpenter, to whom she said: ‘I want you to make me a cupboard with four compartments, one above the other, each of which must have a door that can be locked. Tell me how much you will charge and I shall pay you.’ ‘My fee is four dinars, but what I would like is for you to allow me to sleep with you, chaste as you are, and I would then charge you nothing.’ ‘If that is what must be,’ she replied, ‘then make five compartments, each with its own lock.’ The carpenter agreed willingly and she arranged for him to bring her the cupboard on the same day that she had fixed for the others to come to her house. He suggested that she should sit and wait so that she could take the cupboard away there and then and afterwards he could visit her at his leisure. So she sat there until it was finished, and when she got home she had it placed in her sitting room. Next she took four sets of clothes to the dyer and had each of them dyed a different colour, after which she prepared food and drink, together with scented herbs, fruits and perfumes.
When the appointed day arrived she put on her finest clothes, adorning and perfuming herself, and then spreading all kinds of splendid carpets in her room before sitting down to wait for her visitors. It was the qadi who arrived first, and when she saw him she got to her feet and kissed the ground in front of him before taking him by the hand and seating him on the couch. She lay back, fondling him, but when he wanted to take her, she said: ‘Master, remove your clothes and your turban and put on this yellow gown together with this covering for your head so that I can bring the food and the drink and you can then make love to me.’ She took away his clothes and his turban, and he put on what she had provided for him, but just at that point there came a knock at the door. ‘Who is it knocking?’ the qadi asked. ‘It must be my husband,’ she told him, and he said: ‘What can we do? Where can I go?’ ‘Don’t be afraid,’ she answered, ‘for I can put you in this cupboard.’ ‘Do what you want,’ he told her, and at that she took him by the hand and put him in the bottom compartment, locking its door on him.
She then went to the house door and opened it to find the wali there. She kissed the ground before him and, after having led him by the hand to the couch, she said: ‘This whole house is yours; I am your slave and one of your servants; you can stay all day with me, but take off what you are wearing and put on this red robe, which serves as a nightgown.’ She put on his head a shabby piece of cloth that she had with her and then removed his clothes. After that she joined him on the couch and the two of them fondled each other, but when he reached out for her she told him: ‘Master, this day is yours and no one will share it with you, but please, in your kindness, write a note for me ordering the release of my brother from prison so that I may be easy in my mind.’ ‘To hear is to obey,’ he said. ‘I am at your service.’ He then wrote a note to the official concerned, telling him: ‘As soon as you get this, release So-and-So without delay or procrastination and do not send the bearer back with any query.’ When he had sealed the note, she took it from him and then returned and had started to fondle him on the couch when a sudden knock came at the door. The wali asked who it could be, and she told him that it must be her husband. He asked what was to be done, and she said: ‘Go into this cupboard until I get rid of him, and then I’ll come back to you.’ So she took him and put him into the second compartment, locking the door on him. While all this was going on, the qadi was listening to what they were saying.
The lady then went off and opened the house door, where she found the vizier. On seeing him she kissed the ground in front of him, greeted him with respect and said: ‘Master, you have honoured my house by coming here; may God not deprive us of this sight.’ She got him to sit down on the couch and told him to take off his robe and turban and put on a light gown that she provided for him. He did this and she gave him a blue gown and a conical cap of red. ‘What you were wearing,’ she said, ‘were the robes of your office, which you should leave until the proper time comes to put them on again, but these are suitable for a pleasant drinking party and for sleeping.’ When the vizier had put them on, she fondled him on the couch, but when he wanted her, she held him off, saying: ‘There will be time enough for that.’ A knock then came at the door and, when he asked, she again said that it must be her husband, and again, when the vizier asked what to do, she told him not to be afraid but to go into the cupboard so that she could send her husband away and come back to him.
When she had shut him in the third compartment she opened the house door and, finding the king standing there, she kissed the ground before him, led him by the hand to the dais and sat him down on the couch. ‘You have honoured me, your majesty,’ she told him, ‘and if I could give you the world and all its contents, it would not be equal in value to a single one of the steps that you have taken on your way to me.’
Nights 595 to 614
Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the five hundred and ninety-fifth night, SHE CONTINUED:
I have heard, O fortunate king, that when the king entered the woman’s house, she told him: ‘If I could give you the world and all its contents, it would not be equal in value to a single one of the steps that you have taken on your way to me.’ THE SIXTH VIZIER WENT ON:
Then, when he was seated, she said: ‘I ask your permission to say one thing.’ ‘Say whatever you want,’ he told her, and she continued: ‘Master, take your ease and remove your robes and your turban.’ What he was wearing then was worth a thousand dinars, and when he took it off she gave him in exchange a patched mantle worth no more than ten dirhams. She then started to fondle him in a familiar way, and all the while the others in the cupboard were listening to what was going on but none of them could say a word. The king stretched out a hand to her neck and wanted to take her, but she said: ‘There will be time for this later; I promised earlier to entertain you here, and you will be delighted by what I have for you.’ While they were talking there was a knock on the door and when the king asked who it was she told him that it must be her husband. ‘Get him to go away of his own free will,’ he said, ‘or else I shall go out to him and force him to leave.’ ‘Don’t do that, your majesty,’ she said, ‘but wait for me to get rid of him by using my skills.’ ‘What am I to do meanwhile?’ he asked and, taking him by the hand, she put him into the fourth compartment, which she locked, before going to open the house door.
This time it was the carpenter who stood there. He came in and greeted her, after which she said: ‘What about those compartments that you made?’ ‘What’s wrong with them?’ he asked. ‘This one is too narrow,’ she said, and when he insisted that it was wide enough, she told him to go into it and see for himself, as it was not big enough to hold him. ‘It would hold four people,’ he insisted, after which he went into the fifth compartment, only to have her lock him in. She then took the wali’s note to the official in charge and when he had taken it and read it, he duly released her lover from prison. When she explained what she had done, her lover asked he
r what they should do next, to which she answered: ‘We have to leave this city and go somewhere else, for after this we cannot stay here.’ So they packed up their possessions, loaded them on camels and set off straight away for another city.
As for the would-be lovers, they stayed for three days in the compartments of the cupboard with nothing to eat. They suffered from retention of urine, as for all this time they had not relieved themselves. Eventually the carpenter urinated over the head of the king, the king over that of the vizier, the vizier over that of the wali and the wali over that of the qadi. ‘What foulness is this?’ exclaimed the qadi. ‘Aren’t we in a bad enough state without you doing this?’ The wali then raised his voice and said: ‘May God reward you well, qadi,’ and, on hearing his voice, the qadi recognized who this was. It was the wali who then complained loudly, and the vizier was next to raise his voice and say: ‘May God reward you well, wali,’ and, in his turn, the wali recognized that this was the vizier. The process was repeated with the vizier and the king, but when the king recognized the voice of the vizier, he stayed silent and did not give himself away. Then the vizier said: ‘God damn that woman for what she has done to us. She has got all the officers of state to come to her apart from the king.’ The king, however, having listened to them, said: ‘Be silent, for I was the first to fall into the net of that shameless harlot.’ ‘As for me,’ said the carpenter, ‘what did I do wrong? I made her a cupboard for four gold dinars and when I came to get my money she played a trick on me and locked me in here.’ They then started to talk to each other, consoling the king with their conversation and relieving his gloom.
The Arabian Nights: Tales of 1,001 Nights Page 74