Added to that the fact that her marriage was undoubtedly dodgy – he had picked up that much from her conversation – and so, it seemed, was his own, and there really was nothing much to stand in his way.
So why was he running like this? Why wasn’t he making a move? But the answer to that was obvious; renewed interest in the trouser department was no guarantee of success. Just supposing that Susannah was willing: what if he got it up all right but couldn’t keep it there? Then what a fool he’d feel. What a dope.
But that wasn’t all. Susannah, he was pretty certain, had always been faithful to her husband. She’d probably only ever known one man. She didn’t seem the sort to have played around, before her marriage or since. Quite frankly he didn’t know how to go about seducing so fragile an object without scaring her half to death.
For the next two hours he drove around, fantasising about being with her, and when he finally got back home to find her car had disappeared from the kerbside, he didn’t know whether to be glad or sorry.
‘I can only do three things,’ Katy protested. ‘Three things, then my arms’ll drop off.’ She plonked the iron down on its stand and hammered the plug into the wall with her foot.
‘Three things will do very nicely,’ Jan told her, her mouth firmly set. ‘Every little helps. But you can do them later, if you please, dear. We’re having a family conference in the lounge in a minute. And that includes you.’
‘Bloody Nora,’ Katy muttered, throwing down Justin’s sailor-top. ‘What’s this all about then?’
But Jan would say no more until they were all gathered together.
Susannah was last to join the meeting. She sat on the arm of the chair that her father occupied, because there was nowhere else to sit, and Paul failed to perform his usual gentlemanly act of offering her his seat.
She rolled down her sleeves, smoothed her hair, and glanced round at her family. It was like seeing them for the first time, and they were all looking slightly self-conscious, like an Al-Anon group meeting.
Were they all contemplating their problems, she wondered, and about to confess their weaknesses? Should she kick off the proceedings by divulging her heartfelt thoughts?
Hi. My name’s Susannah and I’ve made a mess of my life. My family doesn’t understand me and now my client’s taken me for a ride …
Well, how else could she explain his odd behaviour that afternoon? With the work about to be completed she could reasonably have expected to be paid. Was that why he’d beaten a hasty retreat? Oh, how Paul would smirk at her if she never got paid for the job!
Her eyes drifted to Paul. He didn’t quite fit into the Al-Anon scene because he had a whisky in his hand. He and Frank seemed to spend a lot of time lately sampling Paul’s collection of malts. Whisky was their only common ground.
Paul was looking – she searched for the right word – yes, he was as Jan had remarked: preoccupied. Whereas her father had the air of one who has been deeply injured by life.
Natalie and Simon had commandeered the sofa and were sitting arm in arm, looking as though they were wondering how soon they’d be able to have sex again, irrespective of the fact that the whole family had to listen in whenever they got together. Katy was examining a swollen finger, and Justin was squirming on Jan’s lap because his teeth hurt. Gazza was perched on the window-sill with his back to everyone, planning his nocturnal excursion.
Jan put the baby down and cleared her throat. Everyone looked expectant.
‘I just wanted to say … that is, Frank and I wanted to say … that things can’t go on like this. It’s obvious: the cottage can’t cope with us all. The system doesn’t heat enough water for a start; the bathroom situation’s impossible; there’s nowhere for us all to sit while our caravan’s drying out, and –’ her gaze rested on Simon and Natalie – ‘there are other things to consider. Meals are a bit of a problem too, what with all the washing-up. And as for the washing and ironing – well, it sometimes seems like we’ve got the whole village’s wardrobes to contend with. So what we were both wondering is … well, what are we going to do about it?’
It took the family some time to realise they were not about to be told something, but were being asked a question. They had not been expecting to have to think. They all looked at Jan until she felt compelled to go on.
‘We’ve racked our brains,’ she said, ‘but we can’t come up with an answer.’ She threw Frank a worried look. ‘If we had anywhere to go, we’d move out. I’m sure Simon and Natalie would too, but at the moment that isn’t an option; Natalie can’t cope with that yet.’
Simon and Natalie looked relieved. And smug and rather special.
‘I expect Katy would prefer to be with her friends,’ Jan went on, ‘but of course she can’t if she can’t pay her way. So –’ she tried an encouraging smile – ‘do we have any other suggestions?’
‘I suppose we could move into the studio with Justin,’ Simon offered, but then noticed his mother’s expression. ‘Sorry, Mum.’
‘No, that isn’t an answer,’ Jan confirmed.
‘Perhaps we could build an extension?’
‘Or do up the garden shed.’ Katy let out a snigger after her contribution. ‘It’s got a lovely en suite water butt.’
‘We could go into Bath for a bath,’ Simon added, beginning to get in the mood. He grinned. ‘I meant, to use the facilities at the sports centre.’
‘And we could fill the boot of Dad’s car with washing, and take it to a launderette.’
‘We could each have a machine to watch over.’ Natalie spoke for the first time.
‘And hire Molly Maid to iron it all!’
The younger members of the family were now rolling helplessly all over the furniture, even though nothing funny had been said.
‘Really, I don’t find this amusing,’ Jan scolded, but her acid tones had no effect.
‘I think you’ve lost your touch, love.’ Frank spoke drily from the depths of his chair. ‘Your class is out of control.’
‘I wish you would all be serious!’ Jan rasped. ‘We do have a real problem to solve.’
Susannah looked across at her. ‘I don’t think there is a solution, Jan.’
Then Paul spoke quietly from his corner. ‘Oh, but there is, Susannah. There is.’
CHAPTER 22
Paul drained his whisky glass and looked round at the family. Assured of their full attention he began to explain his claim.
‘Susannah and I won’t be here much longer, so the rest of you will be able to spread out.’
Katy’s jaw dropped open at the news. ‘Dad, you aren’t that old,’ she protested, ‘you’ve both got years to go!’ Then she realised by the look of scorn on her brother’s face that she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. She poked her tongue at Simon before turning back to her father. ‘I thought for a minute you meant … but you can’t be going on holiday again already.’
‘I wasn’t talking about taking a holiday, Katy, any more than I was thinking of leaving this world. What I was trying to tell you was that –’ he turned his head away from his wife – ‘I’m being transferred to Glasgow.’
‘Glasgow!’ The word was chorused by everyone except Susannah, who found herself struck dumb.
‘But you never mentioned a word of this,’ Jan said, shifting round on her chair to confront her step-daughter. ‘Oh –’ She bit her lip. ‘I see this is the first you’ve heard of it.’ She turned back to Paul. ‘That was rather naughty of you, Paul, springing it like this. Shouldn’t Susannah have been the first to be told? And – I would have thought – in private?’
‘Chance would be a fine thing,’ Paul growled, his face darkening under the rebuke. When did Susannah ever want to listen to him? She was in a world of her own.
‘Yes. Quite.’ Jan had misunderstood him. She was already on her feet. ‘You haven’t had much privacy recently, have you? But you shall certainly have some now. Come on Frank – and you children – we’re all going down to the pub.’
&n
bsp; ‘Frank looked at his glass of whisky; it seemed a bit pointless going out in the cold and paying for something he could get indoors for free. And surely Paul and Susannah could go upstairs to talk? He was about to suggest as much when something in Jan’s face made him think better of it. He allowed his wife to usher him from the room, shaking his head as he went.
Paul and Susannah remained sitting like statues while coats were found, feet were thrust into shoes, and Justin bundled off to bed. They didn’t even move when the back door finally banged.
A minute or two ticked by before Susannah could trust herself to speak, and then she could only do so in a low, strangled tone.
‘What the hell are they sending you to Glasgow for? You told me you were staying put. You said it was unlikely they’d ever want to transfer you again – and you wouldn’t go if they did. You said you were winding down to retirement. You said, Paul!’
Paul looked down at the carpet; he’d half-forgotten all that. Of course, he hadn’t been sure how she would take his news, but he had hoped she might be pleased. After all, it would solve most of their problems. And a fresh start away from the family could bring the two of them together again.
‘Nothing in this world’s ever certain, Sue …’
‘And what the hell’s up in Glasgow, for God’s sake? Why are they sending you there?’
‘We have quite a large dep—’
‘It’s bloody miles away!’
‘Not all that far really, and the roads are pretty g—’
‘Couldn’t they send someone else? Someone young, and willing, and keen?’
‘They need someone experienced.’ And he still saw himself as young, and willing, and keen.
‘Well, it doesn’t have to be you.’
‘I’m sure you’ll soon get to like it there.’
‘Whether I’ll like it or not is immaterial. Because I flatly refuse to go!’
‘You’re talking nonsense now, and you know it. You can’t refuse to go.’
‘I beg your pardon? Can’t I? How will you make me go?’
‘Susannah, please be reasonable. Of course you’ll have to go. Look –’ he tried to sound calm and reasonable – ‘this is the answer to our problems – can’t you see? And it’s only for two or three years.’
‘Two or three years? And no, I don’t see at all. This would solve nothing for anyone; it only makes matters worse.’
‘Not if we rent somewhere in Scotland, it doesn’t, and let all the family stay here. They could pool together to pay us rent. And we’d still have this place to come back to.’
Susannah had just discovered how the phrase ‘hopping mad’ came about; she was literally hovering from one foot to the other in her agitation.
‘You really think you’ve got it all worked out, don’t you?’ she said. ‘But you’re forgetting one rather important thing. I happen to have a life of my own now, Paul. I’ve work of my own to do. I know it means nothing to you, but it means a lot to me. I’m beginning to pick up commissions – just beginning to get off the ground. I can’t just walk away from it all.’ She turned her back on him. ‘And I damn well won’t.’
‘And I have no intention of walking away from a promotion,’ Paul calmly put in.
Susannah’s head swung round. ‘Promotion? This is a promotion? But – but – you said you wouldn’t want it – the extra responsibility! You said no amount of money was worth it. And you weren’t going to take it – even if it ever came up.’
Had he really said all that? He couldn’t remember. Must have been one of those ‘off’ days. ‘Well, now it has come up. And I have to take the opportunity. I really don’t have any choice. I might have thought better of it if you still had a proper job. But with the kids on our hands again we need the money. We need it more than we ever did.’
‘But I do have a proper job! There’s more to a job than just … Oh, what’s the use. You’ll never understand, will you? I don’t think you even try. Well, I’m not going to Glasgow and that’s final. If you go, it’ll be on your own.’
As was the way with most work colleagues, Susannah and Molly had spent more of each twenty-four hours in each other’s company than did many husbands and wives. They thought they knew each other through and through, yet in reality there were vast areas of their lives about which the other was hardly aware. Walking up the path to the door of Molly’s little house, Susannah realised with a flicker of surprise that she had never been there before.
‘Hello, stranger,’ she said when Molly came to the door. ‘Long time no see, as they say.’
‘Heavens! I wasn’t expecting you.’ Molly’s hand flew to her hair.
‘Is it all right?’ Susannah had sudden qualms. Perhaps she should have phoned first.
But Molly wouldn’t hear of her going away again. She drew her over the threshold.
The first thing Susannah noticed was the row of neatly polished shoes lined up inside the door, the three, almost fully grown children, seated quietly at a table in the front room, heads bent over their homework.
Molly despatched the eldest to fetch tea for the visitor, as Susannah glanced around in confusion. She had never imagined Molly’s taste to be for frills and fussy flowers, nor had she expected such orderliness.
‘It seems a shame to disturb them.’ She nodded at the children. She could hardly take her eyes off them, so unnaturally studious they appeared.
‘We can go in the other room,’ Molly told her when everyone had been introduced. ‘Let these monsters keep their noses to the grind.’
‘Monsters?’ Susannah spluttered the word. These young people were veritable saints.
Bemused, she followed Molly to the back room and sat down on a chair patterned with tiny dots. Molly’s son brought in a loaded tray.
‘I’ll bring you the pot when it’s brewed, Mum,’ he said, practically bowing from the room again. ‘Is there anything else I can get you?’
‘Would you mind if I borrow him for a few weeks?’ Susannah laughed and then grew serious. ‘I honestly meant to give you a ring, you know – give you the gory details …’
‘About your abrupt departure, you mean?’ Molly poured milk into delicate cups. ‘I must say I’ve been dying to hear your version of things. But I thought you might want to be left to lick your wounds for a while so I didn’t try to get in touch.’
‘Lick my wounds …’ Susannah considered Molly’s odd choice of words.
‘Yes, but I wouldn’t do it for too long, if I were you. I was only going to give you until the weekend.’
The teapot arrived and Molly busied herself with it.
Susannah took the proffered cup but declined the plate of French Fancies. ‘I don’t think I get your drift, Molly.’
‘Well, the longer you leave it the more difficult it’ll be to come back.’
‘But I’m not coming back!’ Susannah paused with her cup half-way to her lips.
‘Oh, but everyone’s expecting you to.’ Molly scooped sugar into her tea and tinkled a spoon round and round. ‘We all know roughly what went on between you and Duffy – a couple of the girls were ear-wigging through the partition. And Duffy knows he’s been rumbled. So we reckon that all you have to do is turn up soon and things will carry on as normal – or even better, considering you’ve got Duffy over a barrel.’
‘What a charming notion!’ Susannah smiled grimly. ‘But I’m afraid this is all too late for me.’
She filled Molly in on what she had been doing: how she had taken up mosaics, and how she thought she could make it a going concern. She didn’t mention anything about Harvey, though. ‘You see, things have moved on since I saw you.’
‘Good lord!’ Molly sat back in her chair, her big knees a little too far apart. ‘I’d no idea you were interested in that kind of thing. You old dark horse! But I must say it’s more you – sort of arty-crafty. And I suppose Paul’s thrilled to bits.’
‘As thrilled as a dog without a bone.’
‘Oh.’
‘For some reason he’s always resented my having this interest. And then when the children came home he resented it even more.’ She leaned one elbow on the arm of her chair and dug her fingers into her hair. She struggled with her emotions, dreading that she was about to howl in front of Molly.
‘Is … everything all right?’ Molly asked. ‘Sorry – seems a stupid question. I can see something’s troubling you.’
Susannah blew her nose. ‘I just don’t seem to matter to anyone. Paul wants us to go to Scotland, would you believe, and I want to stay here and build up a business. I want a chance to do my own thing. But he can’t see it my way’
She went on to tell Molly everything, then there was a silence while they drank second cups of tea.
Eventually Molly said, ‘If you came back to work then Paul would have less of an excuse for going to Scotland, wouldn’t he? He couldn’t claim that money was an issue then. So you could stay here. And do the mosaic stuff, if you really must. But it would have to be in your spare time.’
‘I can’t.’ Susannah thumped the arms of her chair. She was not in a mood for compromise. She knew that, before long, for the sake of a quiet life she would gradually drop the mosaic work and be back to square one. ‘It would be fine for everyone else, but what about me?’
‘Ah, yes, “me”.’ Molly nodded her head in sympathy.
‘Yes, I know. I’ve got the dreaded “me” disease.’
‘So, what are you going to do about it?’ Molly was looking very serious now. ‘You aren’t going to do something really stupid, are you? Not – let Paul go to Scotland on his own?’
‘That’s what I’ve already threatened him with.’
‘Oh, Susannah, you haven’t! You can’t! It would break up your marriage in no time – and probably your family too. Oh, please think what you’d be giving up.’
‘That’s rich coming from you, I must say. Wasn’t it you who walked out on Les?’
‘Well, he was carrying on with another woman. But Paul’s been a damned good husband to you. And a good dad to your kids. Les was neither of those things; and when he asked me to take him back I said no. But I’ll tell you something I’ve never told anyone: I regret to this day that I did.’
Puppies Are For Life Page 20