by Deb Kastner
“He wasn’t like me. He always wanted to be a part of his family’s legacy eventually. He dreamed of the day he’d have a family to share it with—of bringing you home to the ranch, once he fell in love with you.” His voice sounded strangled. “The truth is, he followed me on to the police force because I always prodded him to do so. I was a bad influence on him. I knew it, and I let it happen anyway. I was an arrogant jerk.”
“I don’t see how becoming a policeman would be having a bad influence on him,” she said, and realized she meant it. Up until now she’d seen the two only as men pursuing danger on a lark, but now she suspected there was much more to it than that, even if Slade was unwilling to admit it.
His gaze widened. “Being a cop wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life. I shouldn’t have pushed him to it. And there—there were other ways I led him astray.” He gestured toward her with his chin. “Ways that hurt innocent people.”
She didn’t pretend not to know what he meant. He was honestly acknowledging his part in the way Brody had behaved after their hasty and ill-thought-out marriage. But there was so much more to it than what he was saying aloud, layers she’d only just begun to explore. She wasn’t anywhere near ready to discuss it all, to shred through the surface with Slade. And she was fairly certain he didn’t want to go there, either.
“Have you ever had to shoot someone?” This time she was the one to throw a question right out of left field, but it had the desired effect. He sat up abruptly and dropped her hand as if it burned him.
“No, I—” He paused. “No, I haven’t. And I hope it never comes to that. But I wouldn’t hesitate to do so if it was necessary to protect Serendipity, to keep the people I know and love safe from harm.”
A week ago, she would not have believed that answer coming from Slade McKenna’s mouth. She’d not thought him capable of deep commitment to an honorable cause, much less his ability to admit it out loud.
Yet now, at this moment, she’d not only expected the answer he’d given, but she believed it. It unnerved her to think about the ramifications of what she’d discovered today. Because the Slade she’d built up in her mind as the worst kind of scoundrel was no longer that man.
Maybe he never had been.
Chapter Eight
Slade was anxious to get to the Becketts so he could see Laney again, even if only to test his new theories about her—he hesitated to call them feelings.
Somewhere along the way, something had shifted between the two of them and Slade was at a loss as to how to describe where things stood. He only wished he knew what had changed. He couldn’t believe he was admitting this, even to himself, but maybe he’d been unfair in his judgment of Laney. Could his perception of her as a purely selfish woman who’d married Brody and then tried to change him have been so far off?
It was as if his eyes were suddenly opened and he was seeing her for the first time. He’d always acknowledged her outer beauty, even from the first time he and Brody had noticed her. A man would have to be blind not to recognize how pretty she was with her caramel-brown hair and deep chocolate-brown eyes. He’d always assumed that was what Brody had been attracted to—her outward beauty. No doubt that had been part of it. Laney had turned Brody’s head from the very first moment he’d met the gorgeous rodeo princess.
But now Slade wondered if that was all it had been. Had Brody recognized what a treasure he had in Laney? That her sweetness extended beyond her appearance and into her heart?
Great. Now he was spouting nonsense, even if it was only in his mind. Next thing he knew, the same drivel would start coming out of his mouth. He’d have to watch everything he said from now on.
And what did it matter, anyway? No matter how Slade’s feelings might have started to change, the fact was that Laney was carrying Brody’s baby. Slade’s job was to protect and care for both of them as Brody would have wanted him to.
No more, no less. Simple as that.
He only wished it felt as clear-cut as it should be. He had to get his act together, and fast, just the way he did before going into the arena. Riding a bull was as much a mental exercise as it was a physical one. He needed to extend the same principles to his friendship with Laney. Keep his wits about him at all times.
When he arrived at the Becketts’, Slade first checked the ranch office. That’s where he usually found Laney when he came to visit her, sitting behind her desk and up to her cute black reading glasses in paperwork.
He couldn’t help but be impressed by how well she’d taken to ranch management—the part of it she could do now, anyway. She’d said she’d worked at a large marketing firm in business management, but running a ranch could hardly require the same skills. Yet she handled it all with grace, picking up on the unfamiliar aspects quickly and competently. And he had the sneaking suspicion that once Baby Beckett was born, Laney would tackle the rest of ranch management with a vengeance, becoming as equally capable on the back of a horse as she was behind the desk.
The office was empty, so Slade went looking for Laney in the house. He shucked his boots and hung up his hat in the mudroom and then started checking for Laney room by room, passing first through the kitchen and then into the dining area. Carol and Grant appeared not to be home and he was beginning to wonder if Laney was absent as well, when he heard the warm Texas lilt of her voice coming from the living room.
“It’s only a two and a half hour drive. I’ll be fine.” There was a pause and then she continued. “I’ll stop at least once an hour and get out and stretch. Yes, I promise. My ankles are swollen enough without adding a long, nonstop drive into the mix.”
She was going somewhere? How had he not known about that? She hadn’t mentioned it to him, but then again, why would she?
Still, wherever she was going for her little day trip, Slade was determined to go with her—to make sure she kept the promises she was making to whomever she was speaking with on the other end of the phone. Two and a half hours one way meant a total of five hours on the road in one day, assuming she was making a round trip in one day. That was an awful lot for a woman in her condition. She might think she was up to it but he didn’t want to take any chances.
He rounded the corner just as she pressed the end button on her cell. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you say that you—” His breath left him in a rush when he spotted the two suitcases by the door.
He felt as if he’d been sucker punched.
He tried to inhale but couldn’t force air into his lungs. It was as if all the oxygen had left the room. “You’re leaving?”
As in leaving, leaving. No, no, no, no, no.
“Yes.” Her eyebrows arched, surprise clearly written on her expression.
That wasn’t much of an answer, and it wasn’t anywhere close to what Slade wanted—needed—to hear.
“Just like that? You’re out of here?”
“Just like that,” she repeated with a smile. “Don’t worry. Carol and Grant already know I’m going.”
Slade’s pulse ratcheted. “And they’re okay with this?” Surely Brody’s parents wouldn’t want Laney traipsing all over Texas—or worse yet...
The thought that had first occurred to him when he’d seen her suitcases assaulted him now. What if she was leaving for good?
“Okay with it?” She sounded genuinely surprised. “They were the ones who suggested it.”
He felt as if he’d missed something major. He and Laney were evidently talking at cross-purposes. Grant and Carol were sending her away? Sending their grandchild away? It didn’t make any sense.
Maybe he was the one who’d misinterpreted what was going on. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe there was a simple answer. He hoped.
“Where are you headed?” He hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt, but he was choking on the news that she was leaving. As selfish as it was, he couldn’t let her walk out that door, taking Baby Beckett away from him before he or she was even born. There were too
many suitcases for it to be a short trip, and the baby was due in a month.
And it wasn’t just Baby Beckett whom he stood to lose. The thought of never seeing Laney again—well, he simply couldn’t go there. Not for a second. This was quickly becoming his worst nightmare.
“I’m off to my sister’s place in Houston. That’s where I lived before coming to Serendipity, you know.”
He did know. So what did that mean? Had she changed her mind? Was she going back to live with her sister? What had changed that was causing her to run off to her sister’s place?
“You’d give up? Just like that?”
She gaped at him. “What do you mean, give up? I can’t believe you’d even accuse me of such a thing. Don’t you know me well enough by now to know I don’t quit at anything?”
He did. He thought he did.
He shook his head to clear his thoughts, but Laney misinterpreted the gesture as a negative response. Heat rose to her face, staining her cheeks a fierce red. Which would have been pretty, had she not been glaring daggers at him. She clenched her fists and for a moment Slade thought she was going to deck him, but she either decided against it or the movement was merely a way for her to control her temper.
“You can’t leave.” He knew he was pleading, but for maybe the first time in his life, he put his ego on the back burner for the sake of someone else. Two someone’s.
She flared up like a peahen, her feathers clearly ruffled as she invaded his personal space. They were only inches away from each other. He was several inches taller than she so he shouldn’t have felt intimidated by the move, but somehow, he did. He’d rather not have to deal with an angry Laney.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, you big oaf. I can’t believe it. I thought you’d changed, but you’re still the same overbearing jerk you’ve always been.”
He should have been offended, but he was too busy trying to mentally regroup. Her nearness was doing a number on him, stirring his senses. He couldn’t think straight over the woodsy scent of her perfume, her glossy full lips—even if they were turned down at the corners—and the sparks emanating from her eyes. For a couple of seconds he completely forgot what they were talking—arguing—about, or that she’d just called him all kinds of names, none of them pleasant.
She wasn’t playing fair standing this close to him, although from the harsh expression on her face, he doubted she had any idea of the impact she was having over him.
“I—er—” he stammered, knowing if he didn’t get a handle on this conversation, it was going to head right down the garden path, and he had a pretty good idea of how she would respond if he did what he was thinking about doing, which was taking her into his arms and kissing the daylights out of her.
Now that would take the wind out of her sails.
It would also probably get him slapped, and rightly so. It would prove her point—that he hadn’t really changed at all, falling back on his old habits to get his way. He’d never be able to convince her that the emotions he was experiencing were nothing like anything he’d ever had before in his life, brought on by the threat of her walking out for good.
“You assume the worst of me and think I’m abandoning my responsibilities when you don’t even know what you’re talking about,” she charged, visibly refusing to be cowed by his superior height, not that he was trying to impose on her or take advantage. Not like that, anyway. He didn’t dare move any closer, which meant he needed to back off.
Now would be good.
It struck him as humorous that she’d accused him of not knowing what he was talking about. She couldn’t possibly know what he was thinking, since the only thing he’d managed to do so far was stutter nonsensically. Wouldn’t she be surprised if she knew what was running through his head right now?
Surprised. And angry.
“You’re right, princess. I don’t know. So why don’t you enlighten me?” He kept his tone deep and even, knowing the expression of endearment he’d purposefully used would be enough to get her to back off.
Or deck him. That possibility was definitely still on the table.
She growled in frustration and stepped away from him, turning on her heels so her back was to him, then whirling around to face him again. Steam might not be literally coming from her ears, but figuratively, it was doing all that and more. “You. Are. Incorrigible.”
He grinned and winked at her. His natural charm usually worked with women, getting him ahead in the conversation. Though he doubted it would work with Laney, he had no other tools to use. “Thank you.”
“That wasn’t meant to be a compliment. You are the most exasperating man I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.”
That bad, huh? This whole conversation brought him back to the first time he’d seen her after she’d moved in with the Becketts, wandering around helplessly on the grassy range. Good thing he’d come by then and pointed her toward home. She was clearly as lost now as she’d been then, and it was equally in her favor that he’d come around now, because instead of being determined to make a go of it in Serendipity, she was now apparently set on leaving.
Which he couldn’t let her do, obviously. But at this point he wasn’t sure how to talk her out of it.
“Why are you leaving?” He slumped onto the couch and extended his arm over the back, giving her a little bit of space and hoping it would help her open up and tell him what was really going on, because he still couldn’t even begin to guess. He’d thought everything was going so well for her here.
When she didn’t budge, he gestured to a nearby softly pillowed armchair, thinking it would be the most comfortable for her. “At least sit down and talk to me about it.”
He hoped he didn’t sound as clueless and frustrated as he felt. His senses were still on overload and now his mind and heart were, too.
She shook her head and joined him on the couch. “If I sit down in that chair I’ll never be able to get out of it again.”
“Oh. I didn’t think—”
“You wouldn’t know. I had no idea how limiting some aspects of late pregnancy are until I experienced them. Sometimes I feel like a beached whale.”
“Not even close,” he assured her. Was that was this was about? Did she feel she didn’t have enough support here? Had handling the stress of the ranch business become too much for her and she was worried about Baby Beckett’s health?
If that’s all it was, he could handle it. Whatever support she needed to stay on at the Becketts’, he could and would provide.
“I’ll do anything to help you,” he vowed solemnly, placing a hand over his heart. “You just have to ask and I’ll be there for you, and for the baby. You don’t have to lift a finger if you don’t want to. As far as I’m concerned, you can just rest on the couch all day and read your books. I’ll take care of everything else, I promise.”
“I don’t need—” she started, and then stopped, her eyes widening and her jaw slackening. “Oh. So that’s what this is about. You think I’m leaving permanently. Why didn’t you just say that in the first place and save us both all this grief?”
He jerked his chin toward the suitcases by the door, his throat tightening. “Aren’t you leaving?”
“No. Yes—but not in the way you mean. I’m just going to visit my sister for a few days before it becomes too cumbersome for me to travel.”
Relief flooded through him. He was surprised by the strength of his emotions. She was coming back. With Baby Beckett. He didn’t even want to examine why his first thought had been of Laney and not the baby.
“I’ll be gone for three days.”
“With all that luggage? You have to admit that’s pretty condemning, two suitcases for three days. You can’t blame me for getting the wrong impression.”
“I travel prepared for anything.”
“I guess.”
“So you see, you were worried over nothing. You don’t have to worry about me, or about the ranch, for that matter. I’ll be back so fast you won’t ev
en miss me.”
He knew that wasn’t true, although he wasn’t about to admit it to Laney. He would miss her every day until she returned. He missed her now.
“You promise you’ll take it easy driving? And turn around and come back home if you think anything might be amiss?”
Her eyes flashed in surprise when he called the Becketts’ ranch her home. Had he really just said that aloud, after denying her that satisfaction for as long as she’d been here? Next thing he knew he’d be blurting out all kinds of mortifying thoughts.
“You’re as bad as my sister, worrying about every little thing I do. I can take care of myself—and the baby. But yes, I promise you that I’ll—”
Her sentence dropped into silence, her expression contorted and she cradled her belly with both hands.
“Laney? Princess? What’s wrong?” He had her in his arms in a second, carefully embracing her and supporting her against whatever was happening to her. Whatever it was, she was clearly in pain.
“It’s probably nothing,” she said, sweeping in a deep breath. Her voice was shaky and unsure.
“It’s settled, sweetheart. You can’t—” His declaration was immediately cut off when she groaned and tucked her head into his chest.
“It’s nothing,” she repeated.
Slade didn’t believe her, not for one second. And he didn’t care one bit if he sounded dictatorial or not. He was taking over, and he was doing it immediately. She could deck him later if she wanted, but at this moment, he was in control.
“I’m taking you to see Dr. D.,” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “I’m not going to fight you on this.”
She shook her head. At first he thought she was denying his request—demand—but her words both relieved him and frightened him at the same time.
“I’m not fighting you,” she said on a sigh. “Please. I think I need to see the doctor. Right away.”
* * *
Laney had never experienced real labor pains before, and she prayed she was not having real contractions now. She’d read about Braxton Hicks, the practice contractions pregnant women sometimes had, in all of the many pregnancy-related books she’d devoured over the past few months. But she didn’t know what those were supposed to feel like, either, only that they mimicked real contractions but weren’t as strong or as regular. Since she was still a good month away from her due date, she had reason to be concerned, at least enough to make a visit to Dr. Delia’s office. The trip to her sister’s house would have to wait.