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The Light Unleashed

Page 12

by Kim Stokely


  Geran crosses to me. “Did you meet alone with him?”

  “Only for a min–”

  “No.” Kyran strides forward. “Noam was with her.”

  What are you doing?

  His face remains stoic but his eyes soften as they watch me. Giving you a chaperone. Noam has already agreed to the deception.

  Geran’s gaze bounces between the two of us. I seize the opportunity Kyran has given me to save myself from reprimand. “I entered the library alone but had asked Noam to come. He arrived only a minute after I did.”

  A general sigh of relief echoes around the room, as if someone opened a window to let in a cooling breeze.

  “Praise Ruahk,” Geran whispers.

  Naill stands. “Will someone please explain the boy’s significance?” He glares at Geran. “What haven’t we been told?”

  It’s Devnet that tells how Tegan helped me find the Sanctuary. How he was the boy Braedon used to bribe me into the first marriage contract. Naill rubs a hand over his weathered face before turning to Rafer.

  “You brought him here? Why?”

  Rafer stands to face him. “I learned the boy’s home had been destroyed and his family held hostage by Lord Donagh. I knew the Queen would want someone to help him.”

  “You’re right, Lord Rafer.” I move away from Geran. “Thank you.”

  Now it’s Maris’ turn to enter the conversation. “But to bring him here, without warning the queen of his presence─”

  “A simple lapse of judgment.” Rafer holds his hands out from his side. “I swear, it will not happen again.”

  My father marches around room, as if the pacing will somehow clear his mind. “What do we do with him?”

  “The Joint Assembly meets tomorrow. I’ll sign the papers making Tegan a Lord and he leaves to go back to . . .” I wave my arms in the air. “Wherever it is Lord Rafer has given him land.”

  “The Wesfall Plains.” Rafer nods toward me. “A small estate handed down to me by my uncle.”

  Maris turns to Kyran. “Does this meet with your approval?”

  Even though Kyran did save me with his quick thinking, I bristle that my grandmother asks him his opinion about this whole mess. I still can’t think of us as married, no matter what they think the contract means, and he has no right to judge my feelings for Tegan when he’s been in so many other relationships. I fight to keep my thoughts to myself by focusing instead on the intricate pattern in the rug.

  Kyran doesn’t answer right away. I concentrate even harder on the floor in case he’s trying to read my mind.

  It’s Geran’s voice I hear next. “Well?”

  There’s another moment of silence before Kyran finally answers, “It is fine.”

  I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding, and look up.

  Rafer steps toward the fireplace where Kyran stands. “I swear, I will keep the boy with me until he leaves. There will be no more opportunities for him to speak alone with the queen.” His tone is strange, as if he meant to say more, then stopped himself.

  “Then we have nothing more to worry about,” Geran says.

  I’m annoyed by the look on his face, on all their faces. It’s as if they think I’m going to sneak to Tegan the moment I’m left alone. I have to admit, the thought crossed my mind, but I would never act on it. “Can we be done now? I think Kennis and Quinn would like to spend some time together on their wedding night.”

  A light-hearted chuckle circles around the room and the Assembly members ready themselves to leave. I give the newlyweds each a kiss on the cheek before they go, and pace as the others follow them out. Kyran lingers until he and Devnet are the only two left in the room. Kyran approaches me slowly. His mouth opens, but he silences himself when Tamra comes in. The maid seems to sense the strain.

  “Leave us.” Kyran’s voice is hard. Angry.

  She steps back, a look of shock on her face. Her gaze darts to me, questioning. I nod at her. She backs hesitantly into her room. Kyran looms in front of me, reminding more of the brooding man I’d first met in the tavern than the gentle man he’s been since our betrothal.

  “I protected you this once, because you are young.” He shifts his eyes to mine. They are black. Cold. “You know the risk you took to be with the boy. Noam told me he informed you of the Elder Laws.”

  I nod.

  The muscles in his neck tense. “At least you told me the truth about that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  His voice is like ice. “You should have told me you loved him.”

  I glance at Devnet. He’s trying hard to act inconspicuous in the background, but his face is almost as hard as Kyran’s. I can’t stand the disappointment I see in either man’s eyes. “I never thought I’d see him again. What did it matter how we felt about each other?”

  “What did it matter?” Kyran’s voice rises in volume. “We signed a contract binding our lives together. Did you not think I should know that you loved another?”

  “I told you I’d always care for Tegan. I didn’t lie about that.”

  “But to hide your true feelings. To try and keep your past secret from me—”

  A sharp laugh erupts from my throat. “You’re one to talk.”

  Kyran bristles. “What do you mean by that?”

  My frustration fuels my anger. “You know what it means. I’ve only known you two months and I’ve seen you with three different women. Fenella couldn’t have made it plainer about your reputation.”

  Kyran punches his fist into the palm of his other hand. “You have no right to judge me. You don’t know what I have endured.”

  I resist the urge to step away from him. Instead I point at his chest. “Exactly! And you don’t know what I’ve been through, so don’t you dare judge me, either.”

  Devnet glances nervously between us as Kyran punches his fist again. Finally, he lowers his head. “You’re right. Perhaps we should have taken more time to consider the contract, but now . . . .”

  I hate the look of defeat in Kyran’s stance. “It’s not like we’re getting married this week. We have time, thanks to you, to get to know each other.”

  Kyran takes my hands in his, but doesn’t look at me. “Be careful, Alystrine. That is all I ask.” He steps away. “It only takes a small spark to set the forest aflame. These feelings are more dangerous than you believe.”

  He bows quickly before striding out the door. Devnet leaves behind him without saying goodnight.

  Every nerve in my body is on edge. The wild swing of emotions—watching my mother get married, then seeing Tegan again, and this confrontation with the Assembly, with Kyran. I collapse on the couch as my muscles suddenly scream with tension and exhaustion.

  Tamra re-enters the room. “Would you like some mulled wine, Your Majesty?”

  I lay my head back so it rests on the arm of the couch. “I’d love some.” The familiar sounds of her bustling around the room soothe my frazzled brain. Until someone knocks.

  I groan. “I’m not seeing anyone else tonight.”

  “I’ll let them know.”

  Her voice rises as she argues with whoever is at the door. It’s definitely a male because of the lower timbre. He’s adamant.

  “Who is it, Tamra?” I call.

  “It’s Quinn.” I can hear the annoyance in her voice. “He says he’ll wait by the door all night until you speak with him.”

  “Quinn?” I push myself up on the couch. “What are you doing here? It’s you wedding night!”

  He barrels past Tamra. “I must to speak with you. In private.”

  “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” I’m amazed that after all the years he’s waited for my mother, he can keep away from her for another minute.

  “No.”

  “I should order you back to my mother.” I straighten the folds of my dress to try and look a bit more respectable.

  “I cannot rest until I have spoken to you on this matter.” He stands next to the couch. “I couldn’t speak f
reely with the others present.”

  Now I’m curious. I nod at Tamra. She tsks under her breath, but heads out of the room. I motion to the chair. “Have a seat.”

  “I know, more than anyone, the feelings you have for this boy.” Quinn rests his hand along the arm of the chair and leans forward. “Remember, I saw you back in the Other World, before you’d learned to close your thoughts to me. I saw how much you cared for him.”

  My skin sweats. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m angry that he read my mind, or scared because he knows how much I love Tegan.

  “I know you think you love this boy—”

  “I do love him. Don’t tell me I don’t.”

  I expect him to argue with me. But he doesn’t. Instead, his face softens. His voice is quiet, but intense. “It’s a kind of love that cannot last. It’s all you can see right now. All you can feel. But you cannot live your life in it. It may take a month, or a year, maybe several, but eventually it will die.”

  It feels as though someone is squeezing my heart, trying to stop it from beating. “At least I’d know what love feels like, if only for a while.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “At least Tegan loves me.”

  “And you think Kyran doesn’t?”

  I stare at him in disbelief. “Of course he doesn’t. He’s only marrying me because of that stupid contract. Because he feels some kind of obligation to the Commoners.”

  Now it’s Quinn’s turn to stare. “Did he tell you that?”

  “He didn’t have to.” His gaze unnerves me. I move to the opposite side of the room. “You weren’t there, in the tavern, when we first met. I could feel his hatred. It poured out of him.”

  “No, Alystrine.” Quinn comes to my side. “I have watched him watch you. I have gleaned his thoughts. Before you think of doing anything rash, you must speak with Kyran. Learn the truth of his love for you.”

  After Quinn leaves, I sit in stunned silence until Tamra again enters.

  “Your Majesty? What would you like me to do next?

  Standing, I reach for the laces on the back of my gown. “Get me out of this thing.”

  The blonde girl hurries to help. I keep my head turned from her, hoping she won’t see my tears. It takes several minutes until the laces are finally loose enough that I can step out of the heavy dress.

  “You can leave me now. I’ll get myself ready for bed.”

  She stoops to pick up my gown. “But your hair─”

  “Screw my hair!” I storm off to my room, feeling like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. Slamming the door behind me, I sink to the floor. I try to keep my sobs quiet, but they grow louder the longer I cry. I can barely catch my breath.

  Why now? Why?

  I can’t bear to have Tegan so close and know I can never go near him again. If we do meet, we have to pretend there’s nothing between us. How can I do that, when every fiber of my being longs to be with him? To touch him?

  And what do I do about Kyran? A man who risked his life for mine more than once, not out of duty, but because he loves me? My mind can’t fathom it.

  Was this what the Messenger came to warn me about? A love triangle? Is Ruahk really concerned about my love life? And just when did I become so desirable to men? Me, who never got asked to any of the school dances, never got asked out on a date?

  I yank at my hair, trying to pull out the pins holding it up in its elaborate braids. Is it the power of the kingdom that these men crave? I keep tugging at the pins, tossing the ones I can find to the floor. No, both Tegan and Kyran met me before I was queen.

  But maybe they believed it would happen. That I would be crowned and they would be rich.

  I’ve only pulled out a few pins, but I have managed to turn my hair into a rat’s nest. I let out a loud groan of frustration. What am I doing? Pitching a fit like a spoiled baby? This is not the behavior of a woman who wants to be taken seriously. A woman who is a queen.

  It takes me a few minutes to get my crying under control. When I’m able to take a breath without hiccupping, I pick myself up off the floor. Wiping my hands brusquely over my face, I take one more deep breath, then open my bedroom door. “Tamra?”

  She looks up from the fireplace where she’s removing a small kettle. “Yes?”

  “Is that the mulled wine?”

  “Yes.”

  My nose wants desperately to run. I have to sniff loudly to stop it. So much for trying to regain my dignity. I cross into the sitting room. “I’ll have some now.”

  Her smile lightens my mood. “Of course. Would you allow me to . . . try and save your hair?”

  A tired snicker escapes my lips. “You can try.”

  I sip a mug of the spiced wine as she untangles the mess I’ve made. Her touch is gentle and the wine relaxes my nerves. I am able to rationally look at my situation. I may love Tegan, but I know we can never be together. Even with him having a title, he doesn’t have enough wealth to aid the army in the upcoming war. Geran and the rest of the Joint Assembly would never agree to our marriage. I only have to make it through seeing Tegan tomorrow and then he’ll be gone. Maybe we’ll see each other in the distant future, at some royal gala or another, but I’ll be married by then. So will he, probably. We’ll be two old friends with a past. Nothing more.

  But what do I do about Kyran? I guess there’s nothing really to do, except marry him. But does he really love me? The weird tension I’ve sensed between us since the betrothal hints at some kind of deeper feelings, but love?

  No. I don’t think the man is capable of it. Not because he’s arrogant, like I first thought, but because he’s been so hurt. He’s probably built up so many walls, his womanizing is just a way for him not to commit to any one person. I may have misread his hatred in the tavern. But that doesn’t mean he loves me.

  By the time I crawl into bed, I have a game plan. I will shut off my emotions and give Tegan the title he deserves for helping me to the Sanctuary. There’s no need for me to bother Kyran with questions about love. We may get there someday, but it’s not going to happen overnight. These things take time and I don’t need to humiliate myself by bringing up the subject. I close my eyes and continue trying to convince myself that I can make it through tomorrow. It almost works. But then I hear Tegan’s voice in my head.

  Come to me, Ally. Come to me.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  After the Ball

  Please, come to me. Tegan’s voice is a tender breeze, dancing through my thoughts.

  I sit up in bed, heart pounding. Where are you?

  Instead of words, I’m given a vision of the study where we met earlier. We’re not together, yet I sense his breath on my neck, the heat of his touch. I throw off my covers and run for the door. My need to be near him is as alive as a lit fuse. I feel the slightest touch will set off an explosion.

  I put my hand on the door handle. It’s cold. Like a block of ice. The sudden change in temperature causes me to step back. My mind clears for a moment.

  What am I doing? I shake my head.

  Ally!

  No, Tegan. I can’t do this. I’m burning from the inside out and groan at the sensations racing through my body. They increase with the visions of Tegan and me, together.

  I fall to my knees as the pictures and emotions grow more intense. The only thing that will end this is to be with him. To actually feel his hands on my skin, his lips on mine. I never thought physical desire could cause such pain.

  Please, stop. A strangled cry escapes my throat. I won’t be able to resist this aching need much longer. God help me. Please, make it stop.

  Like a picture written in sand, the images in my head wash away. Instead of heat, my skin now breaks out in goose pimples. Gasping for air like a drowning person, I stare at my bed, afraid the dream will only start again the moment I lie down. Was it a dream? It felt much more real. But Tegan isn’t an Elder. There’s no way he could have been Mind Speaking with me. So it must have been a dream. A wish. A nightmare.


  I yank the top blanket off my bed, wrap it around my shoulders and settle down into the chair for a long, sleepless night.

  Even after two cups of strong tea the following morning, I wish there was a Starbucks on the way to the throne room. I crave a Venti mocha latte with an extra shot of espresso. Simon and Devnet escort me through the halls. Both carry stacks of parchments and scrolls.

  “Your first meeting is with the parents of your chosen court,” Devnet says. “They will present their daughters and you will assign them rooms.”

  “Me? I don’t know where to put them.” I stifle a yawn. “Do we even have enough rooms for these girls?”

  Devnet raises an eyebrow at my obvious fatigue. “Of course there are rooms for them. Simon has a list.”

  The two men continue the litany of duties I have to perform before the noblemen and Elders leave the castle. There’s the collection of monetary gifts for the treasury to help pay for the upcoming war, a few legal cases I need to preside over and, of course, the bestowing of land and title to new lords. I’m exhausted by the time we reach the throne room. “What I wouldn’t give for a Red Bull right about now.”

  Devnet and Simon both shoot me questioning looks, as if they really think I want a bull to be painted red.

  I know I’m seriously tired when I giggle at the sight of my new Ladies-in-Waiting. They’re already waiting for me. I bite my lower lip to keep myself from laughing. The girls sit on a bench, their parents are seated in front of them. The other members of the Joint Assembly sit on benches behind them. Everyone stands until I take my place on the dais. Devnet and Simon stand on either side of the throne so they can keep me on track.

  I’m introduced to each girl and her family. Moira and Bronwyn are already familiar, and I remember meeting the tall, sharp-featured Lady Siobhan a few days ago. She wasn’t my favorite of the girls, far too serious and quiet. Maybe she’s just shy and will loosen up once she’s away from her parents. Oded’s granddaughter, Hanna, looks like aMiddle-Eastern goddess. I can’t help staring at her. Her almond-shaped eyes are a little too far apart, her nose is a little wide at the bridge and her mouth seems too big for her face, but put all the pieces together and she’s gorgeous. I pray she’s not conceited. It’s one thing I can’t stand, a girl who thinks she’s better than other people because she’s pretty.

 

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