“I’m sorry,” he says, patting the bed beside him. “Please Violet. I didn’t mean to snap. I guess I’m on edge and I took it out on you, which is wrong. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
“I get that.” I climb under the covers with him. “It does hurt though.”
He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head against his warm chest while I wrap myself around him. He doesn’t say anything more, but I have a feeling that he is still going to keep his recovery from me. I’m getting to know him well. He’s being a stubborn guy while dealing with the unknown bracket of potential rehabilitation.
I wish it would be easy for me to walk away from him, because without trust, or without wanting to share our joy or sadness with each other, we don’t really have any kind of foundation to build a relationship on. That makes me sad considering the thought of being without him, is like an arrow to the heart.
21
Blake
The distance between Violet and I is only there because of me. I hate it. I don’t know how many times I can tell her, that it isn’t her I don’t trust. It’s me. I’m terrified that everything is going to crumble, and I’ll be in the wheelchair for the rest of my life. I’m determined to fight that, but it’s difficult. Which is why I don’t want to get her hopes up as well. I’m having enough trouble dealing with my own.
I’ve tried to show Violet how much I love her this past week, but the hurt I see on her face hasn’t disappeared. She is everything to me, and I don’t know how to get through the barrier she’s created.
The darkness settles in around me while I wait for Violet to come home after working all day. We’re still in the bungalow on the facility premises, which is fine with me. It’s close by and easy for me to get to, without any assistance—an added bonus.
I’ve been working up my courage all day to sit down with Violet and put all of my cards out on the table, along with my heart. My heart is the one thing I’m worried about the most. Violet holds it in her hands and I don’t ever want her to give it back to me.
This past week, her lack of interest has been difficult to deal with, especially as the strength in my legs has gradually improved to the point that I’m beginning to walk for short periods of time during my physical therapy sessions. I’ve wanted to tell her but she’s almost acting like I’m not even there. I never thought I’d get movement back, but I have, and the feeling of moving under my own steam cannot be described. I also don’t know how to tell Violet without making her even more angry with me, I should have kept her fully in the loop from the very beginning.
I’d wanted to tell her the moment something had happened. I’d wanted her to be with me the moment I’d taken my first steps. I’d wanted her to share in everything. Except when I’d tried to ask her, to tell her, she’d cut me off and hurried off to work.
How am I supposed to tell her when she won’t stand still long enough for me to do so? And now I’ve left it, we’re right back where we started, me breaking my promise.
What I desperately want is for her to be in the room with me watching as I get stronger. I want her to watch the progress I make every day. Instead she hasn’t given me a choice and she’s shut me out. I know I’ve done this to myself, but I don’t know how to make it right.
We’re both hurting each other, and as I sense her entering the small bungalow from where I’m sitting on the back porch, I’m determined to save our relationship.
I listen as she potters around the living room and then hear her quiet footfalls on the tiled floor as she moves closer to me. I’m nervous, but the moment I turn and see the sadness creasing her brow, they dwindle, and I stretch my hand out to her. “Come here, Violet.”
She hesitates, and I let out a sigh of relief when she takes my hand. I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. It takes a few moments but then I feel her relax against my chest. That’s when I admit, “I love you,” in a whisper against the top of her head. “I’ve wanted to talk to you so much this past week, but I haven’t known how or even what to say.”
She tilts her face up to mine and I nuzzle into the hand she cups my cheek with. “I didn’t think I was that difficult to talk to.”
“You’re not.” I exhale and laugh. “I’ve had to make decisions for Felicity and myself ever since we lost our parents. I’ve always been alone in that. I know that I should have told you, but I didn’t know how. I guess I didn’t want to see the disappointment on your face if nothing else happened.”
I pause, and then admit, “I’ve wanted to share things with you this week, but I felt as though I couldn’t. I hate that. I want things to go back to how they were between us. I don’t want the distance between us to get any wider. I want to bridge it.”
Violet searches my gaze and then slowly reaches up and brushes a kiss across my lips. Not one for letting an opportunity pass me by, I cup the back of her head and bring her closer. I whisper, “I love you,” as our lips softly caress together.
“I love you too, Blake.” She rests her forehead against mine while my heart pounds heavily in my chest.
I’m also trying to keep my libido in check because this moment doesn’t call for a giant erection poking her in the ass. Not sure I’ve succeeded though especially as she wiggles around on my lap.
Her light chuckle is music to my ears as she turns and straddles me, a hand going straight into my shorts. I hiss when her fingers wrap around my length and she straightens me upwards. She doesn’t let go but loosely holds onto me. I pulse and throb becoming more aroused by the minute.
“Is that all you have to say to me?” Her tongue dips between her lips, the pink tip barely visible as her thumb slowly caresses over the dripping crown of my cock.
“Hmm,” I mumble, my hands clenching her bottom, holding her against me, wanting and needing more.
“Are you sure?” Her hand tightens into a fist around my swollen flesh and I can’t remember her question as she slowly jerks me off … and then she stops, caressing the flared tip again. The tip of her finger rubs the slit and the tingle in my balls throbs along my cock until it leaks onto her finger.
“What was it that you asked?” My eyes roll back into my head.
She snickers. “I’m willing to tease you all night until you tell me what’s been going on with you this past week. I know you have something to tell me, I’m just not sure what?”
My eyes snap open and I hold her gaze, praying she doesn’t stop what she’s doing, even though I know I can’t have this conversation while she’s holding my dick.
Instead what I quickly say is, “I’m going to try and take my first steps on Monday.”
As her eyes widen in surprise and a small gasp leaves her pink mouth, I seal mine over hers. My tongue pushes for entrance and tangles with hers. Her arms wrap tightly around my neck and I find that I have to fight not to come in my shorts.
Having Violet pressing and rubbing against me isn’t helping anything, so in a couple of swift moves, I have her shorts and panties on the floor, my cock out—red and raging to fuck—and then she’s dropping onto my lap.
The fire shooting out of my balls has me arching. My hands hold her hips down as I quickly grind her on me. Flashes of color explode across my eyes as I come hard, splashing semen against her quivering sex.
Her sweet little pussy grasps ahold of me and refuses to let go, her own release getting swept up with mine. I struggle to breathe as Violet collapses against my chest, her arms limp on my shoulders. “I think you’ve killed me with pleasure,” she mumbles.
“I’ve never had my dick milked so hard.” I groan as she convulses around me.
“I need to clean up,” she suggests.
“No, you don’t.” I love the idea of her being covered with me—having my semen running down her thighs.
I feel the wetness around my dick, which is still semi-hard inside of her. It won’t take much to get me off again with the woman on top of me.
“Oh no,” she moans with a wiggle to her hips
. “We are not doing it again here. I want a bed. I want you naked on top of it with your hand wrapped around your penis, while I watch you.”
I growl. “Hold on tight.”
22
Violet
Hold on tight.
Blake doesn’t give me a chance and I nearly fall off of him. I had no clue he could move so quickly in the wheelchair. The devil in me wants to tease him so I rock against him and I’m rewarded with a curse hissed through his clenched teeth. I do it again and feel the full erection now massaging the walls of my sex.
“I think,” I mumble, my eyes drifting closed, “that I may have to change my plan.” I rock again and moan when he rubs a very sensitive spot.
“I think it’s my turn to tease you.” His hands hold my hips and slowly lift me off of him, my body craves to stay right where it was.
Blake chuckles and quickly gets himself on to the side of the bed, pushing his shorts off and tossing his T-shirt across the room. A hand wraps around his solid length and he lazily strokes while the heat of his gaze starts a fire within me.
Standing in front of the man I love, I drop to my knees and keep my gaze on his, while I admit, “I’m sorry I’ve kept my distance. I’ve hated it as much as you have. You hurt me a lot by not telling me, and what you said.”
He reaches forward and caresses my face with his free hand. “I’m sorry, but chances are I’m going to be a jerk at some point in the future.” He smirks. “Probably more than once … I just need you to remember that I honestly won’t mean to be, and that I love you.”
“I love you.” I smirk and catch his eyes drifting closed as I dip my head forward into his lap.
My tongue licks the leaking tip, my arousal growing with every taste and twitch of Blake’s rigid penis.
“Wait,” he groans and pants. “So good … I’m going to come,” he begs. “You have to stop.”
Smirking, I release him and meet his gaze. “Stop?” I arch a brow.
“I’ll give you a show another time, right now I need to have you under me.”
He uses his upper body strength to lift me from the floor and then I’m tossed on to the bed. Blake gives me a wicked grin before he rolls between my legs, spreading them wide. His thumbs slide through the wetness and I don’t have a chance in hell at controlling myself, watching his handsome face makes it even better. “I’ll never get enough of this.” He sighs.
He dips his head and kisses my mound, moving lower and lower until he flicks my clit with the tip of his tongue. “I can smell your arousal.” He inhales while I blush. “It’s making me ache to be buried inside of you … all that heat.” He groans, rearing back.
“I want you Blake. I need you to make love to me,” I confess tugging him up.
Capturing my lips in a heated kiss, he slowly slides inside of me—my whole body throbbing at the feel of him.
I dig my nails into his back as I arch up and into him. Nothing feels as good as holding this man so close to me. Whether we’re clothed and just holding each other, or like we are now, I can’t ever get enough of him or the feelings inside of me.
“Violet, loosen your hold, babe. I want to suck on your tits.” He wiggles his brows and I burst out laughing, causing a very pleasurable sensation to run through my lower body.
“My tits are just fine.” I scrape my nails down his side and then dig them into the cheeks of his ass.
Blake hisses, tightening and flexing his ass, his cock swelling and stretching me. “Jesus, Violet.”
I love the hoarse voice groaning in my ear, so I scrape my nails over his ass to his groin. He curses—long and dirty—and grabbing hold of my wrists, pins them above my head while he pounds into me.
Flesh smacks against flesh and as the coil of pleasure winds tightly in my stomach I intertwine our fingers and whisper, “Come inside me.”
He groans, his chest heaving.
Feeling my own release about to burst into a fiery blaze, I moan my next words, “Let me feel your penis jerk.” I arch. “I want to feel your warm semen splashing against me.”
“Fuck!” he roars, straining his back in an arch as he releases. His release sets mine off, which I knew it would. The pleasure wraps around me as I convulse and massage around his penis.
He twitches and gasps for breath, collapsing on me before rolling us to our sides. I hook my leg over his hip so that we stay joined, enjoying the small after-pulses and gentle tugs on his flesh.
“I think we need to fall out more often if that’s what make up sex is like” he mumbles, laughing at his own joke.
I narrow my eyes, not impressed with his assumption.
When he realizes I’m not laughing along, he grabs a handful of my bottom with one large palm and the other cups the back of my head and he holds me tightly while capturing my lips in a hot, wet kiss. “I made love to you. Even if it was the most pleasurable sexual experience I’ve ever had.” He grins, pleased with himself.
I shake my head, giving in to his humor. “As I’m not sure I’ll ever move again after that, I’ll agree.”
“I knew you would.”
I smack his ass before rubbing it better. “Don’t get cheeky.”
Wiggling his brow, he tries not to laugh, unsuccessfully I might add. “You have your hot little hands on my cheeks.” He wiggles his ass against my hands causing other delicious sensations to arise between my thighs.
Becoming serious, he asks, “You need more of me, babe?” while nuzzling into my neck.
“I always need more of you Blake.” I brush the lock of hair gently from his brow when he hovers over me. “Not just naked,” I smile, “although that’s a sight I won’t ever get tired of, but you’re in my heart and I don’t ever want to be without you again.” I blink back tears; upset at the distance I know I’d put between us because I’d been scared he was shutting me out.
He winces and settles over me, wrapping me up in his arms. “I hated the space between us.” He whispers into my ear, and then moves to place a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I hope you know that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I’m scared, Violet. I’m scared that I’m going to end up losing everything, especially you.” He breathes heavily.
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, hoping to keep my sadness for him inside, but it doesn’t work and the tears pour from my eyes as I sob into his chest. “I’m not going anywhere,” I cry, clinging to him. “I promise, Blake. I’m not leaving you, no matter what. I love you. My love doesn’t switch on and off like a faucet.”
He holds me tightly, so much so that I struggle for breath until he loosens his grip. “We’re both a mess, huh?”
“We’re going to get through everything … together.” I cup his face and make him look at me. “Together.”
“Together,” he whispers, cradling me in his arms as we drift away.
23
Blake
Praying this doesn’t come back to bite me on the ass with Violet, I’m about to take my first steps—at least as far as Violet knows, I am. I’m just glad Zach is totally on board with doing this. The last thing I want to do is upset Violet after we made up last night.
The guilt sits heavily on my mind because I’m deceiving her, but if it saves her pain, and I guess in the long run me too, then it’s worth it.
I haven’t progressed as far as I would have liked to, so I guess she hasn’t missed much. My first steps though, she missed those. The guilt hits me again at not telling her. Somehow, I’m more nervous this time around than I was last week and my strength has built up some. At least that’s what I’m hoping.
“Are you okay?” Violet asks, crouching down and resting her hands on my knees. “You don’t have to try this, not if you don’t feel ready.”
I catch Zach’s eyes behind Violet and he frowns at me, I glance away ignoring him.
“I’m good.” I grab her ponytail and bring her closer. “Don’t worry,” I whisper, my lips softly brushing against hers. “I’ve got this.”
She smiles and stan
ding up backs away while Zach takes her place in front of me. “You ready?” he asks.
Nodding, I take a firm grip of the bars in front of me and nod, giving him the signal that I’m ready. He grabs the harness around my waist and hauls me up.
Initially I stumble and feel unsteady but after a deep breath, I have the confidence and the strength to move my left leg forward. It holds. The right is more difficult—slower. But then I’m moving my left again, and the right becomes easier, but still slower than the left. By the time I’m at the end of the bars I feel shaky, and sag into the wheelchair that Violet had slowly pushed behind me.
Her arms go around my shoulders as she squeezes tightly. “I’m so proud of you.” She kisses my ear and then quickly moves around in front, sitting across my lap. Her small hands cup my face and she slowly moves in capturing my lips with her own.
The feel of her, the taste of her, feels perfect. I really pushed myself today and walked further than I had before. I was determined that she would see something different than Zach has, up to now. I grip Violet tightly around her waist and rest my forehead in the curve of her neck. “I love you,” I whisper, raising my gaze to hold hers. “Thank you for being here with me today.”
Tears hover on her lashes. “I’m right where I need to be Blake.”
“Good, because I have no intention of letting you go.” I give her a gentle nudge to move from my lap because we’re attracting an audience and she works here. She may have forgotten but I haven’t. “I’ll see you at home.” I pat her on the ass and grin when she turns, her smile wide and bright.
Bending close, she whispers, “You need to be ready to celebrate tonight.”
Groaning, I reply, “I’m always ready with you.”
She meets my gaze and I wink. “Until tonight, babe!”
Her eyes widen in surprise as she quickly glances around. I think maybe I should have kept my mouth closed when I see her boss, Rich walking toward us.
Love in Surrender (De La Fuente Family Book 8) Page 9