If I Didn't Care (Wishing For A Hero #1)

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If I Didn't Care (Wishing For A Hero #1) Page 9

by Kait Nolan


  “Did you finish?” Patty asked him.

  “Just. Thought I’d come straight over with it.”

  “Straight over with what?” Autumn asked. Because they all had that look that said they’d been up to something.

  Leo produced a thumb drive from his pocket. “Why don’t you fire up that new laptop there and see?” He picked up the box and examined it. “Nice specs.”

  “If I had to get a new one, might as well upgrade to one that will last for a while.” Especially since one of her major sources of income depended upon it.

  She pulled the new machine out and began the process of setting it up as Boudreaux stretched out at her feet. “Has anyone heard from Judd since this morning?”

  “Not about the investigation. Just to check on you,” Eli said, returning with the suitcases.

  Autumn knew he’d be bringing her father in for questioning. Whether he’d yet found enough evidence to charge him with anything was another matter. If it was there to find, she had faith Judd would find it. His entire career as a cop had proven him thorough and dogged. He always got his man.

  She wished she knew what was going on.

  “Okay, hand it over and let’s see what you’ve been up to.” Autumn plugged the flash drive into the side and opened the folder. The whole thing was full of JPEGs. She toggled the view to extra large thumbnails and watched her screen fill with pictures. Pictures of her and Judd. Her with the rest of their family. Going back years. Lifting a hand to cover her trembling mouth, she scrolled through, feeling her throat tighten with every row. Her history with Judd was right here. Not all of it, but a huge chunk. Even quite a few she hadn’t seen herself. All memories she thought she’d lost to the fire.

  “I pulled out all the old albums before we left this morning and had Leo scan everything. I’d been meaning to have it done anyway, and I thought you’d like copies,” Patty said gently.

  Autumn had to swallow several times before she could speak. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I put a call out to all your friends, too,” Leo said. “Everybody’s rounding up stuff from high school and college. I’ll put those together as they come in. And if you’ll let me know which ones you want, I’ll have prints made for you to frame.”

  The tears spilled over then, cascading down her cheeks in a hot flood. She set the laptop aside and headed for Leo, who took one panicked step back before opening his arms.

  “You gave me the best thing ever, so you’re going to have to deal with the ugly cry.” And it felt so good to be crying with relief instead of the tearing grief. She knew she wasn’t through with the grief yet—not by a long shot—but this gift was balm to her ravaged heart.

  Oh, who was she kidding? She could never leave this family. Any of them. And it would kill her when Judd married Mary Alice.

  Leo wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, well, it was no big deal. Just a few hours with a scanner.”

  “It’s a huge deal to me.” She gave him a tight hug and a watery kiss on the cheek before turning to Patty. “Thank you. I can’t tell you what this means to me.”

  Patty stroked her hair back. “You don’t have to, sweetheart.”

  Part of her wanted to curl up in one corner of the big leather sofa and cuddle the laptop as she looked over all the pictures and lost herself in memories. Instead, she managed to pull herself together. She washed her face and set to neatly folding and consolidating her purchases into the two suitcases Eli had brought down from the attic, while her cloud drives synced to the new hard drive. The small progress left her feeling mostly human again by the time Judd showed up for dinner.

  He took one look at her and crossed the room in two strides, reaching out to stroke a thumb over her cheek. “You’ve been crying.”

  Everything in her wanted to lean into his touch, to recapture the intimacy of his bed this morning. But the desire was chased by a frisson of guilt. He didn’t belong to her, and she didn’t have trauma to fall back on as an excuse for infringing on Mary Alice’s territory just now. She stepped back and reached for the laptop.

  “Happy tears, actually.” While the rest of the family finished prepping dinner, she showed him the collection of pictures.

  “I’ve got more at the house,” he said. “I’ll dig them out for you.”

  “Later. What I really want to know is what happened today.” Was her boogeyman still out there?

  Judd rubbed a hand across the back of his neck and dragged it over the tension in his shoulders, something he only did when things hadn’t gone the way he wanted on a case. “I had your father brought in for questioning. He’s got a solid alibi for the time frame of the fire.”

  Autumn frowned. “But how can that be?”

  “Just means he didn’t physically set it. It doesn’t rule out that he had someone else do it. I’m still waiting on the fire marshal to get back to me with the evidence he collected at the scene today.”

  “But you didn’t have enough to hold him,” she concluded.

  “No. His parole officer is keeping him on a tight leash while we conduct the investigation. For now, he’s staying at the Mockingbird Motel. He’s got a car. Piece of shit Taurus in maroon. Same vintage Mitch used to drive back in high school.”

  That would be easy enough to look out for.

  “There’s something else.” He tugged her to sit on the sofa, tangling his fingers in hers.

  Autumn’s stomach knotted. “What?”

  “Jebediah’s dying. Don’t know what of. Cancer probably. He looks like shit. I’m guessing he doesn’t have a whole helluva long time.”

  She waited to feel…something. Any pang of sorrow. But she felt only relief. “He’s too mean to just up and die.”

  “Probably. He says he wants to make amends with you.”

  “Amends?” Autumn couldn’t stop her voice from shooting an octave higher in disbelief. “Is he out of his mind?”

  “That was pretty much my reaction, too. But I just wanted to warn you. He’ll likely try to seek you out. I’ve already got Tucker McGee filing a restraining order, but I don’t know how much Jebediah will give a damn about that. If he’s really dying—and I’m pretty sure he’s not lying about that—he may decide whatever version of making amends is worth more than his freedom for whatever time he’s got left.”

  “Supper, you two!” Patty called.

  Autumn rose, disentangling their hands. “I’ll be on my guard.”

  “See that you are. And I’ll see that you’ve got someone on you for the foreseeable future until we determine how much of a threat he is.”

  She didn’t relish the idea of a 24/7 bodyguard. But they’d have to talk about that later. For now, there was poppyseed chicken to eat.

  Chapter 8

  “Dinner was great, Mom. Can I help with dishes?” Judd asked.

  Patty waved him off. “You get Autumn home. She’s had a long day, and I know you have, too.”

  Home. Judd chose not to analyze exactly how much he liked the idea of Autumn being included in that.

  “I want to swing by my place and pick up my car,” Autumn said. “I don’t like being dependent on everybody else to get around, and I’ve got at least a few things in it.”

  Judd hesitated. He had multiple reasons for not wanting to head over there, not the least of which was that the sight of what was left of her duplex would probably be a serious emotional sucker punch.

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

  “Why? Is my car considered evidence?”

  “No. I’m just not sure you’re ready to go back there yet. It’s pretty rough.”

  “I don’t think there is a right time to go see the burned out shell of your home, Judd. I’d rather get it over with. Besides, I’m headed back to work tomorrow, and I want to drive myself.”

  His brain was already reviewing the security of the library. It was minimal, with multiple points of access. He didn’t like it. “Should you be going back so soon?”

 
“Doesn’t matter. I need the hours. I can’t afford not to work as many as Mitzi will give me.”

  Of course she’d need to recoup her losses however she could. Judd understood that. But the practical side warred with the personal as he tried to find some other rational reason to say no instead of admitting the real reason he didn’t want her mobile.

  His silence stretched on too long and Autumn’s eyes narrowed. “You think if I have my car, I’ll bolt.”

  Sometimes Judd really hated how easily they read each other. “You were pretty hell bent on leaving, and I can’t imagine this has exactly been a motivation to stay.” She was the victim, not a material witness, so he couldn’t order her not to leave town.

  Autumn took a breath, clearly trying to find the right words. “Putting aside the money, which I no longer have to put into moving, I’d never leave without saying something first. I couldn’t walk away without saying goodbye when I was seventeen, and I can’t do it now. Am I scared? Yeah. I’d be stupid not to be. And I know that right now, I’m safer with you than anywhere else. I swear I won’t do anything foolish. I just want my car.”

  He hadn’t truly realized how much he’d believed she’d leave until the threat of it loosened its fist around his heart. “Alright. We’ll go pick it up.”

  They loaded the suitcases with her new stuff into the trunk of the cruiser and put Boudreaux in the backseat. On the drive over to her place, he asked, “Is there anything you want me to pick up for the house? Some girl thing for the bathroom? Some particular groceries? I haven’t even looked at the fridge.” He wanted her to be comfortable. More, he wanted her to accept that it was her home now and embrace it.

  “We’ll figure it out. Listen, Judd, why don’t I talk to Mary Alice and explain this. She’s bound to be uncomfortable with the idea of me living with you, even under these circumstances.”

  Shit. “That’s not necessary.”

  “Really. I don’t want to cause any more problems between you two.”

  “You can’t.”

  “I’m not trying to get all up in your business. If you think it’ll do more harm than good, I won’t talk to her.”

  Judd sighed. “No, I mean you can’t cause any problems between us. We broke up.”

  He could feel her staring at him. “Broke up. When?”

  “Last night.”

  “Before or after I called you?”

  “It doesn’t matter, it’s done.”

  “It matters to me. Which was it, Judd?”

  This was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but he knew she’d never let it go. “After.”

  Her head thunked back against the seat. “God, Judd, I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

  “No,” he snapped. “This is not your fault.”

  “But if I hadn’t called—”

  “You did exactly what you were supposed to do. If you hadn’t called me directly, dispatch would have. And if it had been dispatch that called instead of you, I’d have been beyond pissed, not to mention worried. We broke up because I took her for granted. That’s not on you.”

  Whatever she might’ve said died on her tongue as they pulled into the empty drive of the duplex.

  “Oh my God. It’s worse than I remember from last night.”

  Judd reached across to take her hand, but she was already climbing out of the car. Well, at least she’d dropped the subject of Mary Alice.

  Autumn took half a dozen steps toward the house then stopped and wrapped both arms around her middle. What little color she’d had faded from her cheeks. Judd let Boudreaux out with a firm order to heel and joined her, resting a hand on her shoulder in silent support. She didn’t turn into him, and he didn’t know what to think about it.

  “How bad is Riley’s side?”

  “There’s smoke and water damage, but most of it is fine. She’ll have to move, obviously, but Liam’s nearly finished renovating their new place.”

  “Good. That’s good. After everything she went through with the pharmacy flooding last year, I couldn’t bear to cause more problems for her.”

  “This isn’t on you either. It’s on whoever lit the place up. You being a target doesn’t make this your fault.”

  “It still feels like my fault.”

  Boudreaux barked a quick warning yip as a truck pulled up to the curb. Judd bit back his next argument as Charlie climbed out.

  “What’re you doing back here?” Judd called.

  “Wanted to double check something before I called you.” He strode over. “Since you’re here, I’ll show you directly. I’ve got extra turnout gear in my truck. Keep you from getting ash all over your uniform.”

  “Charlie, let me introduce you. This is Autumn Buchanan. Autumn, Fire Marshal Charlie Hammond.”

  The two shook hands. “Real sorry about this, Miss Buchanan.”

  “Thank you.” She took a step away and Judd dropped his hand. “I don’t suppose by some miracle my laptop survived?”

  “Afraid not,” Charlie said. “We found pieces of it in the living room.”

  Autumn’s shoulder’s slumped. She looked back to Judd. “I’m just going to go. Unless you need me for something?” This she addressed to Charlie.

  “No ma’am.”

  “Judd, if you’ll pop the trunk so I can get my stuff, I’ll get out of the way.”

  He transferred her suitcases to her car. “Why don’t you take Boudreaux on home? I don’t know how long I’ll be here.”

  “Sure.”

  “There’s an officer on duty out there if you need anything. I’ll see you back at the house, okay? ”

  “Yeah. C’mon, Boudreaux.”

  His dog leapt into her car. Judd watched them drive away.

  “So it’s that kinda personal, is it?” Charlie asked.

  Judd turned his attention back to the other man. “Excuse me?”

  Charlie cocked a brow. “Got the vic staying at your place?”

  “We’ve been best friends since we were six.” If he’d been from Wishful, that’s all Judd would’ve needed to say. Everyone here knew the history.

  “I’ve got best friends. Don’t look at any of them like that.”

  Judd bristled. “You had something relevant to the investigation to show me?”

  Charlie lifted his hands in truce. “Yeah. Come on and suit up. We’ll look before we lose the light.”

  ~*~

  Autumn should’ve gone straight back to Judd’s house. Just hauled her stuff upstairs and curled up with Boudreaux, while her cloud drive synced. She needed to get back to the book and figure out how to fix it. Estimate a release date and start working on marketing plans. God knew she needed the distraction.

  Instead, she found herself driving across town to Mary Alice’s house. Which was foolish on so many levels. Judd was finally single, and, with the investigation ongoing, he’d hardly have time to jump into things with someone else. She could finally have that conversation with him. It was what she wanted. What she’d wanted when she’d tried to talk to him at the fountain.

  But breaking up hadn’t been his choice. He hadn’t chosen her. He’d been dumped because of her. It wasn’t the first time, and had it been anyone else, Autumn would’ve just let it go. But he loved Mary Alice enough to buy her a ring. As much as it gutted her to do it, she had to try and make things right for him. He’d given her so much of himself. The least she could do was try to give this back.

  Mary Alice answered the door in yoga pants, a pair of reading glasses shoved up on top of her head. Her eyes widened at the sight of Autumn.

  “Look, I know I’m the last person you expected or probably even wanted to see right now, but can I come in?”

  “Sure.” She opened the door further.

  “I can’t stay long. Boudreaux is in the car.” Hearing his name, the dog woofed out the cracked window. “I’ll be back in a minute, boy.”

  Autumn stepped inside and felt the awkwardness descend like a boom. Determined, she moved on into the little l
iving room.

  “I’m really sorry about your house.”

  “Thanks. But I’m not here to talk about that. Judd told me you broke up last night.”

  “Are you here to gloat?”

  Surprise quickly turned to insult, but she fought it back. “What? No! I’m here to ask you to give him another chance.”

  “Another chance?”

  “I know he’s been busy and tied up lately, and a lot of that is, unfortunately, because of me. As long as the investigation is open, that’s not going to change. But you’re important to him. More important than any other girlfriend before you. And I know that if you take him back, give him another shot, he’ll prove it.”

  Mary Alice frowned. “You’re seriously standing there telling me I’m important to him. You.”

  “Yes, me. Are you really going to stand there and tell me that your breaking up with him had nothing to do with me?”

  “No. It had everything to do with you. I just don’t understand why you’d be here asking me to take him back.”

  “Because it isn’t what you think between us. I’m not a threat.”

  Mary Alice crossed the room to pick up a glass of wine from the coffee table. “Oh, but you are, Autumn.”

  “We aren’t…we’ve never been anything more than friends.”

  “Oh I’m not worried about that. I know he was faithful on that point, at least. But his life revolves around you, and that’s just not something I can live with anymore.”

  “You won’t have to. Not for long, anyway.”

  “You’re still planning to leave?”

  “It’ll take me longer now, thanks to the fire. But yes. There’s nothing between me and Judd.” Her brain chose that inauspicious moment to remind her of those quiet minutes in his bed this morning, where that had been almost the literal truth. “The fact is, you matter to him. Trust me, I have insider information on this. If my father hadn’t been released from prison, I think he would’ve already talked to you by now.”

 

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