Odette opened it quickly on seeing that it was Julia.
“Come in,” she smiled brightly. “I’m so glad it’s you – I couldn’t stand another do-gooder offering to help. I’m seriously thinking of booking a trip to the country for a few days and just taking the kids away from all this.”
Julia followed her sister into the kitchen and looked around.
“Is Dylan here?”
“No, he left his car here last night to make it look like he was here – just for security – he’s been so good, Julia.”
“He has alright – and where was he?”
“On a date with Gillian, I think – she is so weird – I seriously think she is stalking him!”
Gillian had said nothing when in work the day before. But her sister was the person that Julia had come to see and she had more pressing needs.
“Sit down and let me make the cuppa!” Julia said.
Odette practically had to fight to get the kettle from her sister. “No, I need to be doing things – Julia, my mind is going crazy and has been for months. I need to get back to some sense of normality – life has changed and I am on my own now so I just have to get used to it.”
Julia surrendered the kettle. “Odette . . . do you have any idea what was going on inside Craig’s head? I’m sure you need to process it.”
“I know he felt the tension between us but I really don’t know what else could have made him do something so drastic.” She shrugged as she filled the kettle. “Dylan has looked at our finances and they are not as healthy as I would have imagined. Also he had taken out a large insurance policy on himself a year ago which makes me think that he was planning this in some way.”
“But then he wouldn’t have committed suicide because the insurance won’t pay.”
Odette suddenly became defensive. “It hasn’t been proven that is what he did – but yes, I know it doesn’t make sense. Life doesn’t make sense at the moment.”
Julia reached out and held her sister in her arms. There was nothing she could do to help relieve her pain.
“Will I come back later – tonight?” she asked.
Odette nodded. “Yes, and please stay, Ju.”
“I will,” Julia assured her sister. “Michael is going to come out to see you later too – he took a nap for the afternoon. Actually, I’ll get him to come here when he wakes up – I just remembered that I have to meet Lydia for a little while after work but I’ll come back here later.”
“Okay. You’d better go into work – I’ve taken up enough of your time.”
Dear sweet Odette, Julia thought fondly as she got into her car and battled through the city traffic into her work. She wasn’t sure how she could help her – but she would do everything that she could.
Her thoughts jumped to Gillian. She really wasn’t sure what that girl was doing but, one thing for certain, Dylan was entertaining her and she couldn’t figure out why. Julia would have liked to believe what Horatio had said now – that Dylan had feelings for her – but he hadn’t shown any signs of it since she’d returned from Australia. There was always the possibility that he did like Gillian a lot – why did it seem so incredible?
The curiosity was stinging her by the time she got to work.
Gillian had a beaming smile on her face when she saw Julia.
“Hi, Julia – how are you doing?”
“Good, Gillian – any urgent messages?”
Gillian shook her head. “I spoke with Cruise Holidays today and they would like to discuss their brochure with you – also that domain name you enquired about is available so I bought it.”
“Great.”
Gillian had come on so much in the last few months. It made Julia wonder just what exactly the girl was capable of.
“How are things with you?” she asked.
“Oh fine! You know me.”
But that was just it – Julia felt that she really didn’t know Gillian at all.
“Is it okay if I go a few minutes early this evening? “ Gillian asked. “I have to see someone.”
“Of course. You’ve been doing hours of overtime with the funeral and all the time that I’ve been away. Thanks for everything.”
“That’s okay!” she said with a smile and a swagger that Julia hadn’t noticed before. She was radiating confidence and it made Julia uneasy and curious – she wondered was she meeting Dylan again by any chance.
Julia focused on her emails and the day’s tasks to take her mind off the thoughts that were running through her head.
Three hours had passed and she hadn’t answered all of her emails or made all of her calls but she could hear Lydia’s footsteps coming through reception. Her work could wait – she turned off her computer and braced herself. Lydia would need a lot of support.
“Hi, Ju, thanks so much for meeting me – I know you are up to your eyes.”
Julia kissed her friend on the cheek and grabbed her coat and bag.
“I told you I am always here for you, Lydia. Where do you want to go?”
Lydia shrugged. They walked out onto Wicklow Street and found their way naturally onto Grafton Street.
“Let’s try the Bailey?” Lydia suggested.
They found two high stools in the corner of the bar and ordered a glass of wine each from the barman. Once he was out of earshot Julia listened as Lydia told her the story of the disastrous proposal in detail.
“I can’t believe that he said he didn’t want to get married,” Julia said.
Lydia shook her head incredulously. “That’s the crazy bit – he’s all smiles as if nothing has happened. I mean when we came back from the Unicorn that night he just went into the bathroom and then got into bed in silence. Then he said to me today that he was talking to friends who had bought extra tickets for the Madonna gig in the summer and did we want to go?”
“Well, at least you know that he’s planning on being with you – I mean, he didn’t want to move out or anything like that.”
“Oh no, he’s normal as anything and that bit I find weird. I mean, if we can’t have an argument and work it out afterwards how are we going to be able to survive a marriage together? I swear he’s just brushed it under the carpet as if nothing happened and we are expected to move swiftly along – on his terms, mind you – and play the perfect couple again.”
“Maybe there’s no such thing as perfect.” Julia had to say it – she had never believed in perfect. It was possibly another reason why she had never been keen to enter into a committed long-term relationship.
“I don’t know what to do, Julia. The sheen has been tarnished – don’t you hate it when that happens in a relationship?”
“It happens at some stage with every relationship – it’s how you both handle the aftershocks that will determine whether you have a future together or not.”
“What made you so wise, Julia Perrin? I mean, for someone who doesn’t get caught up in relationships you have plenty of wise words.”
Julia threw her head back and laughed. “I’m a know-all, Lydia – you should have figured that out by now. But I’ll say something that I probably shouldn’t when you are feeling this way. I think Michael really loved you and for all his bad qualities he has bucket-loads of good ones.”
Lydia looked down at her fingers and fiddled with them nervously. “I know I was cruel to shoot him down after I met him at Christmas,” she sighed. “But I would have kept him on ice if he hadn’t sent me that whingy needy email a couple of weeks later. He was putting pressure on me and I thought that he was just jealous because I had met Peter. I also thought that it was only a matter of weeks before a proposal.” Lydia rolled her eyes and sighed again. “What am I like?”
Julia smiled. “Lydia, you were in the throes of the honeymoon period. This is just another stage. You have to decide now if you want to move forward with Peter on his terms and see how the next six months go or if maybe he isn’t the one for you.”
Lydia knew that Julia was right. She would have to see h
ow she really felt but she was aware that doubt had already set in.
Chapter Forty-nine
Julia drove out of the city and headed for the northside. It was seven o’clock and although it put pressure on her time-wise she was glad that she had made the effort to see Lydia. She had almost forgotten about Michael who would definitely be up by now. She dialled home and Horatio answered the phone.
“Michael and I are having a great time here – so don’t rush home!”
“I thought Michael was coming with me to see Odette?”
“Give the lad a chance – he’s very jet-lagged and anyway I’m after opening a couple of cans of Guinness and we might pop up to the village for a pint in the Abbey Tavern later. It’s not often I get my grandson to myself and if you stay with Odette tonight we’ll have no one bothering us!”
Horatio did have a point and Michael would be suffering from jet lag. Tomorrow would be a better day for Michael to call and see Odette. Besides, Julia really wanted to spend the night with her sister and it was good that Horatio had company now.
“Okay, Granddad, tell Michael to come to my office in the morning and we can go out to Odette’s for lunch – mind you, she could be in a daze herself – I never know how she will be from hour to hour let alone day to day.
She called to tell Odette that she would be there soon and to ask if she would like her to bring anything. Odette fancied some crispy duck pancakes from the Chinese takeaway and Julia picked some up along with a bottle of red wine from the off-licence. She had bought enough for three just in case Dylan was joining them. Secretly she hoped that he would be there – Gillian had been so secretive in work and she wanted to ask him about her and see what was going on.
When his Mercedes came into view, she smiled. Then a terrible thought came into her head – maybe his concern for Odette was too great and he was in love with her. Could he be seeing Gillian in case Odette or anyone would suspect his true feelings? That would explain why he wanted to go out for drinks as a foursome when she was in Australia. Could that be why Craig did what he did? Julia’s mind was playing tricks and she felt guilty for having such awful thoughts.
She lifted the brown package with the duck and slid the bottle of wine under her arm. She would get her overnight bag later – she might not need it after all!
Dylan answered the door and Charlotte stood like a little fairy at his side.
Julia groaned inside – she bent down to kiss her niece and Dylan took her bags from her so that she could sweep Charlotte into her arms.
“Are you staying for a sleepover, Aunty Julia?” the little girl pleaded.
“Maybe – if your mummy wants me to.”
“I want you to and Uncle Dylan can stay too – it’s lonely ’cos Daddy’s not here.”
Dylan looked at Julia and both were unable to answer, their hearts heavy in their chests at the little girl’s words. She was too young to understand that she would never see her father again.
“Let’s go in and see what Mummy is doing.”
Julia bounced her niece on her hip and went into the lounge where Odette was sitting on the couch, looking listless and depressed.
“I’ve got the pancakes and duck,” said Julia. “How about I take Charlotte to bed and you two get started?”
“Thanks, Ju,” Odette said, glancing up at her sister but making no move to greet her.
“Where’s Jamie?”
“He’s in the playroom on the computer game,” said Dylan. “I’ll take him up to bed too and afterwards we can get going on the food.”
Julia and Dylan gave each other a knowing look that spoke a multitude. Odette had fallen into the abyss again as they had both seen on several occasions since Craig’s death. Julia was pleased now that Michael wasn’t seeing his sister tonight.
She went into the kitchen and put the food into the oven to keep it warm, then went upstairs to help Dylan put the children to bed.
Ten minutes later she and Dylan were in the kitchen making preparations for the meal.
“Is she still taking those tablets?” Julia whispered to him as he took out the dinner plates.
“I think so – they make her go like this – I think she’d be better off with a glass of wine and a good cry,” Dylan said.
“So do I!” Julia agreed as she struggled with the unfamiliar corkscrew.
“Here, let me help you with that cork,” Dylan said, taking the bottle from her.
Julia put knives and forks on the table, then went into the lounge where Odette still sat immobile.
“Will we all eat together in the kitchen?” she suggested to her sister.
Odette nodded and stood up trancelike as if she was sleepwalking.
Dylan started the conversation off lightly, discussing the upcoming St Patrick’s Day festivities and announcing that he had bought tickets for himself and the kids to see the parade from the grandstand.
“They’ll enjoy that,” Odette said gratefully.
“I got one for you too, Odette,” he said.
Odette put plum sauce on her duck and started to wrap the pancake around the meat. “Why don’t you go, Julia – I don’t think I’ll be up to the parade this year.”
Dylan looked at Julia. “It might be nice for the kids to have their aunt and uncle take them out – what do you think?”
Julia nodded. For a terrible minute she had been picturing Gillian next to Dylan in the stands with her niece and nephew.
“Yes – that would be great – lovely!” she said vehemently. Oh God, she thought, I’m getting crazy like Gillian. What the hell has come over me!
Dylan was bowled over by her reaction and just tucked into the pancake he had assembled. He wondered how a woman who couldn’t stand the sight of him a couple of months ago now was really keen to go to the St Patrick’s Day Parade with him. Yet he wasn’t complaining – maybe she was learning a little compassion. The entire family on both sides had been through so much since Craig’s death that he should not be surprised by the change.
The Abbey Tavern’s stone-clad walls had housed many great evenings of drinking and chat. Michael and Horatio sat up at the solid mahogany bar – an open turf fire blazed in the hearth.
“I dreamt of this place while I was in Singapore. There’s nowhere like it!” Michael said, lifting a creamy pint of Guinness to his lips.
“Ah, it’s great to have you back, son. But don’t regret the adventure – never ever regret time spent having an adventure.”
Michael laughed and licked his Guinness moustache from his lips. “I wouldn’t call my five years an adventure but I certainly had a chance to think about life and what I wanted. It’s funny how you need to go away sometimes to sort out your perspective on home.”
“Ah, I’m glad you decided to come home – and it’s only a pity you didn’t bring a lovely girl back with you!”
Michael took another slug from his pint. “The girl that I want to settle down with is here but it looks like she’s going steady with that policeman who handled Craig’s case.”
“Really? Who would that be?”
“Do you remember Lydia?”
“Julia’s friend – of course I do. You courted her for some time, didn’t you?”
“Yes, many years ago.”
Horation nodded his head. “It’s a terrible thing to let a woman slip away from you like that – I always say women are a bit like the Number 31 – you’d be waiting for ages and then three come along together.”
“Well, when you get on a bit it’s harder to get one that likes you at all!”
Horatio threw his head back and cackled. “Wait till you get to my age – you might as well be waiting for the Hill of Howth tram to come back into service – unless you take up bridge by the looks of things.”
“What do you make of this Gerry fella that Mum has hooked up with?”
“He seems like a nice little chap. Very different to your father, mind, but that’s no harm. Carol is more independent now than she ever was in her
life – I mean, she went straight from our house after marriage to her own with her husband. It was different years ago – none of this living together. You don’t know how lucky you young folk are!”
“Granddad, you never cease to amaze me!”
“I amaze myself – all I need now is your mother to go up to the North for good and Julia to go and get herself a fella and then I could get myself a lovely Brazilian girl – one of about forty-six, let’s say – what do ya think, Michael?” He gave his grandson a naughty wink.
“Horatio Daly, I don’t know where we got you from at all!”
“But I’ll tell you this: if you like a young one then you have to go after her – get her any way that you can. I had to follow your grandmother to Dun Laoghaire and drag her back on the 46A. It was very romantic and it was the best day’s work that I ever did. Ah now, drink up, lad – there’s a hole in this glass – I need a refill!”
Michael was elated to be home. He would take his grandfather’s advice on board – he was a wise old coot. It was precious moments like this that he had missed while he was living away – there was nowhere like home and nowhere like Ireland.
Julia got up and looked at her watch. It was two o’clock in the morning. After Odette had gone to bed Dylan decided that he would too and he took the spare room. Charlotte had been sleeping with her mother since her father’s death so that meant that Julia was sleeping in a haven of pink with a white net canopy above her bed and a wooden crown headrest against the wall. It was an awkward sleep and she had forgotten to bring a glass of water to bed.
The bathroom light was left on for the children in case they needed to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. It was things like that Julia never thought about – having children was a fulltime occupation and it would be extra difficult for Odette now with the full burden of responsibility as mother and father.
It was kind of Dylan to be so hands-on – of course, if he had a family of his own he wouldn’t be in this position to help. Julia stepped into the hall and tiptoed into the kitchen. She was startled when she opened the door and saw a large figure beside the fridge.
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